Leave (PG)
Title: Leave
Author: justthismorning
Rating: PG
Warnings: Wincest, obviously, but nothing else
Summary: Dean finds the letter. Dean finds out Sam's finally leaving him.
A/N: Ninth in the Coming Undone Series
Previous fic: If You're Gone
Leave
I’m not saying there wasn’t nothing wrong
I just didn’t think you’d ever get tired of me
I’m not saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn’t wanna let it get away from me
__________________________________
__________________________________
Dean stared at the letter. He hadn’t meant to open it. His hands had just done it without his consent. And he hadn’t meant to read it. His eyes just followed the words heedless of the commands his mind was screaming. Now he felt those same thoughtless hands tremble and those same disobedient eyes burn with unshed tears. And nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered except that one word. Nothing registered except the dull reality that Sam hadn’t even thought to tell him he’d applied. Sam had kept it from him, and now he was leaving.
The door clicked open behind him, and Dean hurried to pull himself together before turning to smile cockily at his brother and his father. John didn’t notice anything. He wasn’t the emotional type. But trust Sam to pick up on the inconsistencies. His eyebrows furrowed and his footsteps stuttered in Dean’s direction before he caught himself and held up the take-out bag for his brother to see.
Dean nodded and said something witty, but the words never registered in his consciousness and it wasn’t until he heard the water running through the bathroom wall that he realized John had said he was taking a shower. Sam was still standing at the door with the bag in his hand. Grease was slowly leaking through the brown paper, staining it. Dean couldn’t tear his eyes from the obscene sight.
“Dean?”
He shook his head and sat heavily on the bed.
Sam joined him and let his hand fall lightly on Dean’s thigh. In silence they dug through the bag and picked absentmindedly at the fries.
“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Sam asked finally.
“Were you gonna tell me, Sammy?” He produced the letter and rested it on his lap. Sam’s gaze fell on the balled up piece of paper, damp from being in Dean’s sweaty palm, and he gently scooped it up and smoothed it out before letting his eyes trace the same words Dean had read earlier.
Sam didn’t speak. His face was dark with an emotion Dean couldn’t decipher. The hand on Dean’s thigh returned, flexed, and tightened, causing his nails to drag across the thick fabric of the jeans. Dean shuddered.
“If you woulda told me -.”
“But I didn’t want -. You woulda thought -.”
“College, Sam? You’re leaving me?”
Sam clutched at Dean’s leg. He was going to leave bruises. They would match the ones from the most recent hunt and Dad wouldn’t even question them. The sounds of two men breathing in tandem, and the sound of the shower running, was all that echoed in the room. Sam bowed his head, and hid his beautiful eyes from Dean.
“I’m not leaving you, Dean. Never you.”
Dean looked up through his eyelashes and threaded his fingers through Sam’s. The shower clunked in the other room, drowning out the thick silence between the boys. The acceptance letter lay crumpled on the bed between them, on the bed where Dean had lovingly pulled Sam to a silent orgasm the night before. The bed where they would soon lay down for the night, so close yet afraid to give into the desire to touch in fear of their father ever finding out. The bed where they will make love after John finally leaves them alone to go run some errands at the crack of dawn.
I’m sorry, Sammy, Dean wanted to say. I’m sorry that you have to carry this weight, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t be perfect for you, that this couldn’t be perfect for you. I’m sorry that everything is so tainted. But he didn’t say it.
“Congratulations, Sam.” He whispered, letting the word that started it all roll off his tongue and land heavily in his brother’s heart.
__________________________________
__________________________________
Tell me is that how it’s going to end
When you know you’ve been depending on
The one you’re leaving now
Next fic: Rest Stop
Author: justthismorning
Rating: PG
Warnings: Wincest, obviously, but nothing else
Summary: Dean finds the letter. Dean finds out Sam's finally leaving him.
A/N: Ninth in the Coming Undone Series
Previous fic: If You're Gone
Leave
I’m not saying there wasn’t nothing wrong
I just didn’t think you’d ever get tired of me
I’m not saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn’t wanna let it get away from me
__________________________________
__________________________________
Dean stared at the letter. He hadn’t meant to open it. His hands had just done it without his consent. And he hadn’t meant to read it. His eyes just followed the words heedless of the commands his mind was screaming. Now he felt those same thoughtless hands tremble and those same disobedient eyes burn with unshed tears. And nothing else mattered. Nothing mattered except that one word. Nothing registered except the dull reality that Sam hadn’t even thought to tell him he’d applied. Sam had kept it from him, and now he was leaving.
The door clicked open behind him, and Dean hurried to pull himself together before turning to smile cockily at his brother and his father. John didn’t notice anything. He wasn’t the emotional type. But trust Sam to pick up on the inconsistencies. His eyebrows furrowed and his footsteps stuttered in Dean’s direction before he caught himself and held up the take-out bag for his brother to see.
Dean nodded and said something witty, but the words never registered in his consciousness and it wasn’t until he heard the water running through the bathroom wall that he realized John had said he was taking a shower. Sam was still standing at the door with the bag in his hand. Grease was slowly leaking through the brown paper, staining it. Dean couldn’t tear his eyes from the obscene sight.
“Dean?”
He shook his head and sat heavily on the bed.
Sam joined him and let his hand fall lightly on Dean’s thigh. In silence they dug through the bag and picked absentmindedly at the fries.
“You gonna tell me what’s wrong?” Sam asked finally.
“Were you gonna tell me, Sammy?” He produced the letter and rested it on his lap. Sam’s gaze fell on the balled up piece of paper, damp from being in Dean’s sweaty palm, and he gently scooped it up and smoothed it out before letting his eyes trace the same words Dean had read earlier.
Sam didn’t speak. His face was dark with an emotion Dean couldn’t decipher. The hand on Dean’s thigh returned, flexed, and tightened, causing his nails to drag across the thick fabric of the jeans. Dean shuddered.
“If you woulda told me -.”
“But I didn’t want -. You woulda thought -.”
“College, Sam? You’re leaving me?”
Sam clutched at Dean’s leg. He was going to leave bruises. They would match the ones from the most recent hunt and Dad wouldn’t even question them. The sounds of two men breathing in tandem, and the sound of the shower running, was all that echoed in the room. Sam bowed his head, and hid his beautiful eyes from Dean.
“I’m not leaving you, Dean. Never you.”
Dean looked up through his eyelashes and threaded his fingers through Sam’s. The shower clunked in the other room, drowning out the thick silence between the boys. The acceptance letter lay crumpled on the bed between them, on the bed where Dean had lovingly pulled Sam to a silent orgasm the night before. The bed where they would soon lay down for the night, so close yet afraid to give into the desire to touch in fear of their father ever finding out. The bed where they will make love after John finally leaves them alone to go run some errands at the crack of dawn.
I’m sorry, Sammy, Dean wanted to say. I’m sorry that you have to carry this weight, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t be perfect for you, that this couldn’t be perfect for you. I’m sorry that everything is so tainted. But he didn’t say it.
“Congratulations, Sam.” He whispered, letting the word that started it all roll off his tongue and land heavily in his brother’s heart.
__________________________________
__________________________________
Tell me is that how it’s going to end
When you know you’ve been depending on
The one you’re leaving now
Next fic: Rest Stop