Dead Hearts are Everywhere 2/11(?) + Epilougue
Title: Dead Hearts are Everywhere
Author: justdetails
Rating: T
Beta: abrokenkindofperfect
Pairings: Blaine/Kurt, past Blaine/Sebastian - Blaine/Quinn, Blaine/Mike, Blaine/Brittany friendship
Warnings/Spoilers: Brief mention of underage drinking? Also more angsty Blaine, though I guess that isn't really a warning since this is pretty much Blangst through and through.
Word Count: 1, 040, this part
Summary: AU. Blaine Anderson’s father is dying. His mother is gone. His heart is withering away, but as it does, he realizes that maybe there’s something to this Love thing after all.
Author's Note: Here's where the past Sebastian/Blaine comes in, though it isn't very descriptive and it is quite brief. And keep in mind the switches from past to present. ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any characters represented.
1 | 2
PART TWO:
Did you see the closing window?
Did you hear the slamming door?
They moved forward, my heart died
They moved forward, my heart died
When Blaine is a sophomore at Dalton Academy, he will be late one day to a Warbler performance. He will wake up disorientated and will get ready in a rush, having only gotten two hours of sleep due to nightmares, and will quickly make his way down the stairs.
A phone call will stop him in his tracks, just as he’s reaching for his pocket watch to check the time, and he will thus miss meeting a boy just three steps away from him.
He will also miss the performance, and many more after that.
-0000-
Blaine will meet Kurt Hummel, not by chance, or accident, but by the hand of his sister. He will stop by the small theatre to pick her up after her rehearsal ends with the intention of quickly grabbing a coffee before they return to their father and Cooper. Blaine will already be tired and in a bad mood, brought on by Cooper’s utter lack of interest in helping them with their father.
It will not be monumental, their meeting, just a quick shake of hands in Kurt’s small office in the theatre; a short exchange of words and an offer for Blaine to replace a piano player.
Blaine will nod and agree, and that night he will try - and fail - to forget the color of Kurt Hummel’s eyes.
-0000-
Blaine’s junior year at Dalton will be devoid of Warbler practices.
Instead, Blaine will spend his time alone; studying, reading books, and writing prose. He will perfect his piano playing skills, get a job at the library and take care of his father and sister.
He will stop doing his hair, stop wearing contacts, stop smiling, and he will stop singing. His friends will worry, of course, but after mulitple failed attempts of trying to coax Blaine to hang out with them, they will simply stop their efforts.
Blaine will meet Sebastian when they get partnered together for an english project. Sebastian will find Blaine - with his mysteriously sad eyes behind crooked glasses and unkempt curly hair - fascinating. He will attempt to find out everything about Blaine and will ignore his fellow Warblers’ pleas to just leave Blaine alone. Sebastian will manage to drag Blaine to a party that Blaine doesn’t want to go to. He will get Blaine to relax a bit after about an hour. They will drink and dance and Sebastian will hear Blaine’s laugh for the first time. As the night ends, Blaine will find himself in a bed with Sebastian, and he will do nothing to stop what will happen next.
When he wakes the next morning, he will feel nothing.
Nothing at all.
-0000-
Sebastian will foolishly tell Blaine that he loves him the next year.
Blaine will tell him he shouldn’t, but Sebastian will argue and plead with Blaine. It will not end well; Sebastian will get his heart broken, Blaine will further retreat into himself and justify that this is exactly why he doesn’t do that stupid thing called love.
It just ruins people, he tells Sebastian, it always does.
He will leave Sebastian’s room with an, “I’m sorry”.
They do not speak again after this; Blaine tells himself it’s for the better. He doesn’t need a distraction like Sebastian anyway, he’s perfectly fine being alone.
-0000-
Blaine wakes up in the middle of the night a week after meeting Kurt, to find Boy staring at him. Her head cocked to the side, eyes searching his, he feels like she’s trying to tell him something. He stares back for a moment as he tries to regulate his breathing, his body still shaking from the nightmare he was just reliving, but has to look away.
Her eyes remind him too much of Kurt Hummel, and so he hates her even more that day.
But he takes her for a walk anyway in the morning, and tells himself that he hates every second, that when she nuzzles into his leg as he sits on a bench he only scoots closer to her because of the cold.
It’s not like he loves the dog or anything.
Because he doesn’t.
He can’t.
-0000-
Blaine despises the color blue.
It started with his first bowtie, given to him by his older brother for his fifth birthday. Blaine loved his new bowtie; it was a bright sky blue, with white polka dots. He wore it to school the first chance he got.
By the end of the day, it lay ruined in a puddle of mud at the hands of Andy Wilkins.
His hatred for the color grew and grew.
When he’s eight, staring with wide eyes and quivering lips as his mother’s blue skirt fluttered around her legs as she carried her bags to a taxi, the sight of her blue eyes as she looked back at her children before she leaves for good.
Three days after his mother leaves, he scowls at Cooper, his arms crossed, jaw set, as his brother’s blue eyes plead with his own hazel. Cooper is leaving for California, but he tells his young siblings that he’ll call every night, that he’ll visit all the time, and that soon they’ll have a famous brother and won’t that be cool?
Blaine can see the lies in Cooper’s bright eyes. He stomps off to his room and doesn’t tell his brother goodbye.
Then, in his hospital room when he’s fourteen - the first thing he notices when he finally wakes up is that his blankets are blue. Then, he notes with disdain, the nurses scrubs are blue. As they prod and poke him, ask him question after question he takes in his father’s tears, his sister’s hand in his as the rain falls outside. These are minor details to him, however, because all he can see is blue blue blue, taunting him, mocking him.
And now, at sixteen years old, as he watches his father get wheeled away for his first surgery, a blue cap on his head, the blankets blue, always, he just wishes for once that the world would cease to exist in color.
-0000-
part three