Terrifyingly Fabulous, or How I got kicked out of Atlanta Gay Pride

[justben]

I had a lot of fun at the Atlanta Pride Festival today. It was deeply satisfying to see so many wonderful people in an environment where where they can express their love for their chosen partners without society frowning on them simply because their chosen partners happen to be the same gender or sex as they are. It was fun to see people enjoying

Comments

[earendel]

Well you have to admit with all the threats and violence made against gays over years, a trench coat that could hide a shot gun or bomb is a bit unnerving.

[starlancer]

Especially when it's nearly 90 degrees F outside.

I dunno, I understand being bugged by being asked to leave, but I also understand why people in that venue would see it as threatening, and possibly even more so when a reason for wearing it is given as "it goes woosh." I know Ben, and I know how that's meant, but if I did not know him I'd take it as reason #2 (after the wool coat on a 90 degree day) to think the wearer might not have both oars in the water.

It really is a bit suspicious.

[justben]

See my response to earendel below.

Seriously even remotely justifiable? Frankly, I think that attitude says something pretty damned sad about society and about anyone who would accept it as a necessary evil.

[starlancer]

There is plenty that is pretty damned sad about society, and you've hit on one of the sad things.

OTOH, wishing it were not so does not make it not so. Events have been as they have and attitudes are as they are. It's sad, but true, so I can understand why they were concerned. Sad, but true.

[chironcentaur]

Hello, you don't know me but I'm on radiantbaby's friend's list and I followed a link she posted over to here and just have to comment because I think this is insane.

Apparently dressing unconventionally at Pride is acceptable only if the dress in unconventional in a way that’s customary for gay people.

I honestly do think you're right about this. I have an unconventional look of my own, including my own long black coat (its leather though, which in most people's minds is even more evil than wool :-)) and I don't think I've ever exactly felt welcome at Pride events; never been asked to leave, but never felt welcome there either.

I think they may have been justified in searching you, but once you were searched and were found to not be carrying a machete on your back, that really should have been it. And anyone that came to complain should have just been told that you were searched and you were fine. Get over it.

[justben]

Would that the volunteer who asked me to leave had agreed with you.

I fully intend to speak to People In Charge tomorrow at Pride. I’ll post about how it turns out. I remain optimistic. My ongoing reaction to the whole mess is really giving me pause for thought, though. It’s really hitting me harder as the evening progresses.

[mtn_hermit]

It’s really hitting me harder as the evening progresses.

I have no doubt that it is. From your point of view, you were in a "safe space" and should have had absolutely no reason to expect this to happen. I haven't read any of their website or literature, but I imagine it was even billed in such a way as to promote it as such a space. It's amazing and sad how often that turns out to be an inadvertent misrepresentation.

You've got anthropologists on your friends list and they may chime in on this with much more background and knowledge than I, so I won't speak to conformity within majority cultures and sub-cultures. I will say that I've seen so called "safe spaces" turn out not to be often enough to be highly skeptical of anything that even remotely bills itself that way.

Maybe I'm just to introverted and easily cynical about such things, though. *shrug*

[chironcentaur]

so I won't speak to conformity within majority cultures and sub-cultures.

I have no educational background, just observations on being a fringe of the fringe type that should fall into several subcultures yet not really belonging in any of them. Subcultures, in my experience, are even more conformity driven than mainstream culture is. Its not so much that they're more tolerant, just that they've taken the things that set them apart from mainstream culture and canonized them as normal, build their own culture around those traits and police everyone with an iron fist. Sub cultures seem to assume that just because you have A in common, you must have B, C, D and E in common as well and just don't understand that maybe you don't.

Or so has been my experience. But I've seen enough people reporting similar experiences to think I'm probably on to something.

[scyllacat]

Hits too many buttons and rings too many bells for me to feel like I can sanely respond, but really, I know you look "suspicious," but surely this is a ... Oh never mind, I've been kicked out of "safe space" before because unnamed hordes of people felt "unsafe," and I still haven't come up with a good answer as to whose rights are more important. Love your goofy grin and that you are friends with mtn_hermit is also a recommendation in your favor. Perhaps you should take him with his hat, and then you would be a matched set?

[justben]

Oh crap, I still need recommendations in my favor after knowing you for years? I must be scary! ;-)

[anonymous]

Not justified at all. Your coat had been checked and the community hasn't had a real threat for over 10 years. Strange... especially considering how hush-hush folks are about how common, frequent even is the abuse and harassment gays face at Pride from intolerant, militant anti-gays.

[justben]

If you see this, and if you don’t mind, what was the threat over a decade ago? I’ve been in town only just short of that.

Is there that much trouble from anti-gay groups at Pride these days? I saw one group protesting outside, but I didn’t see them doing anything more than holding signs and futilely calling people to come be saved.

the threat - examples:

[reikimaster]

In the 90's in Candler park/Little Five Points area, Skin Heads were a huge threat to....well, to everybody but esp to gays and lesbians. Walking down the street holding hands with a girlfriend was a brave and dangerous act. We were often spit on, threatened and had to run to escape violence

Re: the threat - examples:

[justben]

Thanks for your reply! I didn’t know about the stuff ten years ago, and I certainly didn’t realize it was still an issue sometimes. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend!

[persiflage_1]

I'm a friend of radiantbaby and followed her link.

I think you were treated very badly and unfairly. It's ridiculous for them to persecute you once they checked your pockets and saw you weren't carrying anything in the way of weapons. I'm really sorry you got chucked out - that sucks amazingly. I hope you can get a sensible answer and an apology from them.

[justben]

Thanks for dropping by! Today, Pride and I kissed and made up, and I have no hard feelings.

[persiflage_1]

Oh good! I am glad about that...