Comments | justben: Thoughts from a talk on pagan chaplaincy

justben

Thoughts from a talk on pagan chaplaincy

Feb 16, 2007 23:57

I don't know that chaplaincy is the right place for me, but I just attended a presentation on the subject by Patrick McCollum, and it got me thinking about some things. Like how I really want to get back to school for a degree in religion. Engineering is enjoyable, and it pays well, but it's not where my heart is. I don't know how I'm going to give ( Read more... )

con, communication, spellchecker genius, perspective, growth

Comments 8

elorie February 17 2007, 06:22:28 UTC

How I approach things like that depends on the circumstances. People who only know me from online discussion lists (for example) have only ever seen Mars-in-Aquarius Debate Team Queen of Swords Sarsen. There are some circumstances where that's appropriate, and nothing will earn my disdain quicker than someone who enters a intellectual debate unable to hold up their end of it. The other aspect of that is, I don't take that shit seriously. I do think that you can mine such discussions for truth, or find truth in them, but there's also a fencing match aspect that's just a game.

Tarot Reader/Oracular Priestess Sara is a whole other creature. I find it really easy, in that mode, to meet people where they are, be totally nonjudgemental and supportive, and to frame the discussion in their language, not mine. Because those things are appropriate to that role and circumstance.

justben February 20 2007, 23:45:13 UTC

There was a long time that the only side of me anyone saw was the argumentative side, particularly when it came to philosophical discussion. And it turned sort of self-fulfilling as I started playing into people's assumptions about the way that I would react. I've been trying to overcome that in recent years, and I think it's largely working.

puck February 17 2007, 13:12:08 UTC

I love Patrick! He's done some incredible work with both military and prison chaplains under the auspices of the AAR.

justben February 20 2007, 23:46:02 UTC

He mentioned the AAR and the con, actually. I thought of you two down there.

joyeuse13 February 20 2007, 23:37:46 UTC

I don't understand at all. Why would you deeply respect the beliefs of a person who is wrong? And as for "Jesus loves you," why lie?

justben February 21 2007, 00:37:33 UTC

There are a lot of reasons to respect a wrong belief. The biggest -- and the one that I'm trying hardest to learn -- is that just because something appears wrong to me doesn't necessarily mean that it's really wrong. People are generally well-meaning. When they say something that really sets me off, I'm learning that it's usually an communication issue. They say one thing, and my brain focuses on a different subtlety entirely and comes up with a completely different meaning. When I step back and hear what they're actually saying, the problem often goes away.

Even when I'm hearing them exactly right, though, I'm learning that often disagreements are based in ignorance -- either theirs or mine -- and are often happily corrected. The trick lies in approaching the disagreement not as a necessary conflict -- which is my habit -- but as a misunderstanding to be bridged. I'm learning that if I ask what someone means when they say something I find unfair, and when I present them gently with other possibilities in the form of questions, in ( ... )

joyeuse13 February 22 2007, 16:48:53 UTC

Ah, so you don't mean people who are wrong, but rather people whom you think are wrong. (I see no reason to respect the beliefs of someone who thinks the earth is flat.)

Regarding your friend the hospital chaplain--honestly, I'd think he would have given the Jesus question some thought before he took the job, considering that the vast majority of the people he'd be dealing with in a public chaplaincy would almost certainly be some flavor of Christian...

While I'd certainly place the comfort of a dying patient over theological hair-splitting, I'd feel a bit of a condescending ass assuring someone, "yes, of course Jesus loves you," solely because I know that's what they need to hear. Which is why I'd better not put myself in that situation. :)

justben February 23 2007, 23:32:34 UTC

I've heard people make really sketchy historical and scientific claims, but I've rarely had the opportunity to find out what's going through their heads. Usually when I do hear them, it's not something that's worth arguing. More precisely, I've found that I have a habit of arguing the point when presented with the opportunity, and that doing so usually makes the situation worse rather than fixing or clarifying anything ( ... )