I think Im going to stop going on the interenet, and it doesnt stress me out at all. It just makes me go whatever, does it matter. All u think about in the back of your head is Ben, and all I say is to myself is that I just want to have fun. I have big plans to and it isnt that, but you know it is a big deal to lose someone in your life, espcially one that you care about. But to live care free isnt the greatest thing either. THe onyl thing that bugs me is living in a soap opera, that is what sux. To be hearing and seeing things that just make you want to be one of the characters in the soap opera that are leaving the set, so they go. I dont like to think about the future, I like to live now. I hate feeling crappy, but Im like ahh with AP tests, and it just doesnt help to have to try to figure out the future, that's all. That is why I hate when u bring that stuff up. You are 16 and u already have your life figured out until like 30 at lest. You being the one that doesnt want to grow up, haha a little hypicritical. I just
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