Funny how the longer you go without posting, the harder it is to start up again ... so I'm throwing this up just to get myself back in the groove
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The original vid was done by Gayle F and Tashery, and these days with the net and all, they often go by the intials, or by a name used the same way we use Media Cannibals -- a group project name. Morgan has been helping GF put some of their old vids into the digital age, and remaster totally Data's Dream, on computer, since GF doesn't do that right now.
Did you see that MVD is going to be putting her old vids out on dvd, and I think remastering them? She's starring with Due South, I guess, but I can't wait to get her old Pros vids. I'm assuming you've seen "Alone"? Still one of my favorites. The other day, even though it was really hard to watch and they're in such bad shape, I dug up my old copies of Watching me, Watching You, and Too Long a Soldier... really made my heart glad.
This fear makes me reluctant to voice the depth of my Pros obsession
You say this so often that maybe you should just go ahead and voice it! I for one would not object at all to being hit with a bunch of Pro-obsessed posts. Obsession can be a very endearing characteristic!
My pairing-of-the-day is always the last think I think about before going to sleep, the happy thought I call upon any time I need a distraction from something bad (I thought about Bodie and Doyle every time I was in a dentist's chair from the time I was 12 until I picked up other newer and temporarily shinier pairings) or difficult (like running up a hill in a road race) and how I occupy my mind when I'm driving. My favourite characters are the people I try to model my life on. Because of this, I don't draw any clear distinction between my experience of being fannish and my "real life". I want the two to be as close as they can to the same thing
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I would love to see more posts from you about your Pros obsession, really.
That is so nice of you to say... I really appreciate it. And I think you will be seeing more - this post was my Declaration of Independence - I declare myself free of those demons that have compelled me to attempt, at least, to tone it down. Or maybe my Declaration of Obsession *g*. Seriously, though, that *is* what this post turned out to be: working through the reasons and then saying fuck it, this is the way I feel, deviant or not.
And I have many good role models - _aerye_ and paris7am, as I mentioned, and now you too - because the feelings you voice, perhaps unsurprisingly, mirror mine. I'm not sure whether I try to model my life on my favorite characters, but they're certainly *in* my life in all sorts of ways; always in my head, the first and last things I think about, the happy thoughts, the distractions, the mental occupations. And even the horses these days - I get a happy little thrill every time I see *my* Bodie; it's a way of bringing two of my passions
( ... )
And even the horses these days - I get a happy little thrill every time I see *my* Bodie; it's a way of bringing two of my passions together.Mag 7 is a wonderful fandom for this: canon horses, lots of them! Not only have I been inspired to learn to vault on, but I whenever I ride I think about the way horses were used in those days - as as integral part of life and the main form of transport, not just recreation. That's something I enjoy thinking about anyway and this fandom just reinforces it. I actually practiced trying to fire a dressage whip like a rifle while trotting through the bush with no hands on the reins the other day, and I worked on my horse's backing after being impressed by one of the Mag 7 characters backing his horse a long distance to pull two people up a hill... Did you say something about obsessed
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The intensity of your obsession may concern you, but it charms me. Go gladly into that Pros-obsessed universe, and we will happily trail along behind you. At least I will, that's for sure.
I keep wishing that we were having a conversation in person - I have too many responses to make, so many things I want to say. Although in person it's hard to keep track of all the offshoots, so perhaps in writing is better?
I echo what others said here - I *love* reading what you write about the Pros, about obsessions, about worrying about obsessions. I *love* the way you write and express yourself. I *love* realizing that we aren't alone - we share this 'religion'. I share the 'more!' with you, too.
Likewise, I am in awe of Aerye, for her fearlessness, for being able to put things into words that I still can't seem to let out into the light...
And I have to go - real life gets me, but I'll be continuing this conversation in my thoughts.
Oh, we *must* someday have a conversation in person, offshoots or no. And more than just a conversation - we have to watch eps together!!! I'm going to plan another Pros weekend, and I'll be contacting you about that ... also, maybe at ZCon in October??
And as I said, reading what you write about Pros made such a *huge* difference to me. You never try (as I do, though to be honest I can't always help it - it's how I think) to over-intellectualize or justify your passion. You just unashamedly love it, are obsessed with it. I just love how you have a post devoted to nothing but pictures, or one talking about dancing, or one that just quotes from a story. I *know* you share the "more" with me, and that makes me so very glad. You are my inspiration :-)
And while it was all fun and I had a great time - well, the truth is I could happily have dispensed with all that "other" fannish stuff and watched nothing but Pros eps for five hours. I felt vaguely resentful every time someone wanted to watch a vid that wasn't Pros. (Or almost every time - there are a few vids, like The Man Song, that I'm always happy to watch.*)
Lol, I can certainly relate to that but I think we're all sort of that way to a certain degree. I'm open to talking about any of my pairings but find it hard to stay interested when the conversation creeps over to any others. Problem is, since the slash group I meet with was started by TPM fans, that's what gets talked about the most.
But ... I'm still vaguely embarrassed about the strength of my obsession. I've spent most of my life aggressively hiding the "fannish" parts of me.I felt - have always felt - my "fannishness," if you will, to be at the absolute core of me, the true and fundamental "essence" of me
( ... )
It does seem like a lot of trouble to hide things from people close to you ... but when you do it from a very young age it becomes automatic, and it really doesn't require much effort at all - it's almost more difficult to reveal the things you've always hidden! But I'm definitely discovering the virtues - the *freedom* - of *not* trying to hide those things, and once you stop it's hard to go back - it's apparent to me know how much energy it does in fact take to do all that suppressing, particularly of something so *fundamental* about yourself
( ... )
The interesting thing about my obsession with Pros is that it certainly isn't my first fandom. I had serial obsessions with Sentinel and especially Due South, and I was also pretty into Harry Potter on and off for quite a while, and I've dabbled in others on the side all along. I have an entire website devoted to DS and HP, in fact, though it hasn't been updated in a year ....
That's one of the reasons the degree of my obsession with Pros has taken me a bit by surprise. I thought I'd already explored the further limits of it, and in fact my thing with Pros really built up slowly; I didn't expect to become quite this immersed. It amazes me that I grow ever more into it as time passes!
Duh, and I'm pretty sure you've mentioned that to me before, too. That does put a different spin on things, that Pros isn't your first contact with slash, or fandom for that matter. I don't know, perhaps there's something in the show that really strikes a cord with you...either that or you just find the lads irresistable. :-)
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Did you see that MVD is going to be putting her old vids out on dvd, and I think remastering them? She's starring with Due South, I guess, but I can't wait to get her old Pros vids. I'm assuming you've seen "Alone"? Still one of my favorites. The other day, even though it was really hard to watch and they're in such bad shape, I dug up my old copies of Watching me, Watching You, and Too Long a Soldier... really made my heart glad.
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You say this so often that maybe you should just go ahead and voice it! I for one would not object at all to being hit with a bunch of Pro-obsessed posts. Obsession can be a very endearing characteristic!
My pairing-of-the-day is always the last think I think about before going to sleep, the happy thought I call upon any time I need a distraction from something bad (I thought about Bodie and Doyle every time I was in a dentist's chair from the time I was 12 until I picked up other newer and temporarily shinier pairings) or difficult (like running up a hill in a road race) and how I occupy my mind when I'm driving. My favourite characters are the people I try to model my life on. Because of this, I don't draw any clear distinction between my experience of being fannish and my "real life". I want the two to be as close as they can to the same thing ( ... )
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That is so nice of you to say... I really appreciate it. And I think you will be seeing more - this post was my Declaration of Independence - I declare myself free of those demons that have compelled me to attempt, at least, to tone it down. Or maybe my Declaration of Obsession *g*. Seriously, though, that *is* what this post turned out to be: working through the reasons and then saying fuck it, this is the way I feel, deviant or not.
And I have many good role models - _aerye_ and paris7am, as I mentioned, and now you too - because the feelings you voice, perhaps unsurprisingly, mirror mine. I'm not sure whether I try to model my life on my favorite characters, but they're certainly *in* my life in all sorts of ways; always in my head, the first and last things I think about, the happy thoughts, the distractions, the mental occupations. And even the horses these days - I get a happy little thrill every time I see *my* Bodie; it's a way of bringing two of my passions ( ... )
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I echo what others said here - I *love* reading what you write about the Pros, about obsessions, about worrying about obsessions. I *love* the way you write and express yourself. I *love* realizing that we aren't alone - we share this 'religion'. I share the 'more!' with you, too.
Likewise, I am in awe of Aerye, for her fearlessness, for being able to put things into words that I still can't seem to let out into the light...
And I have to go - real life gets me, but I'll be continuing this conversation in my thoughts.
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And as I said, reading what you write about Pros made such a *huge* difference to me. You never try (as I do, though to be honest I can't always help it - it's how I think) to over-intellectualize or justify your passion. You just unashamedly love it, are obsessed with it. I just love how you have a post devoted to nothing but pictures, or one talking about dancing, or one that just quotes from a story. I *know* you share the "more" with me, and that makes me so very glad. You are my inspiration :-)
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I'm so used to admiring others - it's an unusual and blush-worthy situation when it's mutual :) Just don't stop expressing and obsessing.
Yes - definitely have to watch episodes together and talk and see vids and look at pics and discuss fic...Bodie and Ray, non-stop, all the way.
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Lol, I can certainly relate to that but I think we're all sort of that way to a certain degree. I'm open to talking about any of my pairings but find it hard to stay interested when the conversation creeps over to any others. Problem is, since the slash group I meet with was started by TPM fans, that's what gets talked about the most.
But ... I'm still vaguely embarrassed about the strength of my obsession. I've spent most of my life aggressively hiding the "fannish" parts of me.I felt - have always felt - my "fannishness," if you will, to be at the absolute core of me, the true and fundamental "essence" of me ( ... )
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That's one of the reasons the degree of my obsession with Pros has taken me a bit by surprise. I thought I'd already explored the further limits of it, and in fact my thing with Pros really built up slowly; I didn't expect to become quite this immersed. It amazes me that I grow ever more into it as time passes!
Duh, and I'm pretty sure you've mentioned that to me before, too. That does put a different spin on things, that Pros isn't your first contact with slash, or fandom for that matter. I don't know, perhaps there's something in the show that really strikes a cord with you...either that or you just find the lads irresistable. :-)
I do, however, still ( ... )
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