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replicamodel September 5 2007, 17:25:11 UTC
What's wrong?

[[This was open, correct?]]

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replicamodel September 5 2007, 21:09:49 UTC
I won't ask anymore if you don't want to talk about it.

At least one of us does, I don't even know I understand what I'm trying to say.

I guess we will. No one I loved, but hundreds of innocent people died because of me. I didn't know any of them, but I think that makes it worse somehow.

[[Poor Cloud, we love him so. *Pets them too x3*]]

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just_a_proxy September 5 2007, 21:25:40 UTC
I'm fine.

Yeah. It does. Make it worst, I mean. I-- the Geostigma. If it wasn't for me, innocent people wouldn't have been hurt by it. Children. I wonder what Zack thinks about that.

You're... okay with it now?

((<3!))

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replicamodel September 5 2007, 21:32:49 UTC
Okay.

.... did a lot of people die because of the Geostigma? I... saw a child die right in front of me, and I still have nightmares about it. If Zack's your friend, maybe you should just ask him...

Hm?

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just_a_proxy September 5 2007, 21:51:19 UTC
... Yes. I don't know. There was no cure and people were losing hope. One of the children Tifa was watching contracted it, too. I couldn't help him. I couldn't help any of them. I left them and ran to Aerith's church. That way, they wouldn't be hurt with me around.

I can't ask him. I just got him back and I don't even know if he forgives me. He might actually hate me if he knows I've hurt children, even indirectly. He's a protector. He's... kind.

I'm... sorry. I'm going on about my mistakes and you've witnessed a child dying. Why did the child die?

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replicamodel September 5 2007, 22:04:40 UTC
Did running away solve anything?

If he's kind, then he should forgive you, right?

Don't apologize, we're both sharing our mistakes. I destroyed the town he was staying in. It fell into the Quliphoth, and he was sucked down into the miasma and mud. He was calling for his parents... we couldn't do anything for him.

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just_a_proxy September 5 2007, 22:36:10 UTC
It-- Maybe. If Tifa hadn't come after me, Loz would never have hurt her. In the end, Aerith was the one who saved them all, not me.

It doesn't work that way. He's good. He's only been here for a bit and he's already helping others out. He abhors the people who've kidnapped Sakura. He won't like what I've done. But... I do want to be forgiven.

I'm... sorry. I don't think that's a scar that would fade if it happened to me. What did you destroy the town for?

((Strikes deleted.))

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replicamodel September 5 2007, 22:46:36 UTC
So are you saying you had nothing to do with anyone being saved? At all?

I'm sorry I can't make this easier for you, Cloud. Zack sounds like a friend of mine...

I didn't know I was going to do it. I thought I was going to save it, to become a hero. I was so selfish, I never realized I was being manipulated. All I wanted was the glory and to be free. But in the end I screwed everything up. Everything.

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just_a_proxy September 5 2007, 23:23:25 UTC
It was penance for what I did before. It doesn't count.

Hn. Thank you, Luke. But someone that's just like Zack? Is that even possible? Who's your friend?

I... I know what you mean. I wanted to be a hero, just like Sephiroth, to be strong, useful, not looked down on. Easy to dream that dream.

Looks like we have a lot in common, Luke.

... Did your friend forgive you?

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replicamodel September 5 2007, 23:43:47 UTC
I guess... but does that mean all the good things we do after our mistakes are just penance? Nothing can count?

No problem. His name is Guy. He's my best friend, and he's very kind.

It sure looks that way. I wanted to be like my sword Master, and to have him praise me. But he was the one who betrayed me after everything.

Guy was the first one to forgive me.

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just_a_proxy September 5 2007, 23:54:59 UTC
Not in my case.

... Guy? Heeheh. He's the first one Zack helped out. I think they're buddies. I didn't realize they were so alike.

Now I really want to meet him.

Sephiroth betrayed me. *ruefully shakes head* It's too similar.

I'm... glad, for you.

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replicamodel September 6 2007, 00:05:21 UTC
I guess then, not in my case either.

Guy was in trouble? Do you know what happened?

I'll introduce you two sometime!

*Frowns* It's kind of scary in a way. But it does mean we can understand each other a little better.

Thank you. I hope that you find forgiveness too.

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just_a_proxy September 6 2007, 00:27:53 UTC
I don't know. Zack went to meet him at a bar. I was... a little preoccupied at the time and was selfish. I don't know what type of trouble he was in. I'm sorry.

It does. I'm glad I told you. At least you understand why I'm... the way I am.

I hope... maybe. Thanks.

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replicamodel September 6 2007, 00:35:16 UTC
That's okay. I'll just ask him myself at some point.

I'm glad too. It makes things easier to have someone who understands.

Anytime.

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just_a_proxy September 6 2007, 17:49:01 UTC
Hn.

It does. Maybe... you could help me explain it, the next time someone demands answers from me.

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