Rock My World (Chapter 10)
Pairing: JongKey
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Rock musical!AU, Drama & Romance
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
__________________
Recap: It had been a stupid argument, really, but they had let their tempers and frustration and bottled-up feelings get in the way and ended up making it worse. He had never meant to get Kibum so worked up, to make him so angry - all he wanted was to understand but Key wasn’t helping.
Rock My World - Chapter 10
It wasn’t as awkward as Jonghyun thought it would be: they were quick to forgive each other, to apologize for words that had been too harsh and emotions that had gone too far. Kibum was just stressed out and Jonghyun understood.
Still, as their first real fight it had given the elder a taste of what losing Key would feel like, of how miserable it would make him and of how much he still pined for him. Three words suddenly popped into his mind and he wondered if it was too early to feel that way, too early to speak them out loud so he remained quiet instead. A small part of him kept worrying that it would only make things more complicated if he did speak up and that he would end up hurting in the end. He was glad that they had to perform later that night because it gave him an excuse to forget all those heavy feelings weighing down on him and just sing - pretend to be someone else.
Key was brilliant, as usual, yet Jonghyun couldn’t help but notice that he was less into it that night. He really did look sorry and had apologized over and over again to the point where Jonghyun felt even worse for getting angry at him. He couldn’t wait to just forget about everything and move on.
He was sitting in his make-up chair facing the mirror, wiping his face clean when he heard a knock on the door. Jonghyun was about to tell whoever had knocked to wait a bit because Jino was still in the shower and probably wouldn’t appreciate it if the elder let random people into their dressing room at the moment. However, before the blond could do anything, the door opened and Jessica stepped inside, still in her stage clothes, and shut the door behind her.
Jonghyun was really not in the mood for this.
“Um, hi?” he said, tone a bit sarcastic because what was the point of knocking if she wasn’t going to wait for an answer.
She didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledge him, instead moving towards the mirror and plopping down onto the second make-up chair next to Jonghyun’s. Only then did she turn to him.
“Jino told me,” she said bluntly.
“Jino told you what,” he sighed, already tired of this conversation. He busied himself with wiping the charcoal-coloured eye shadow off of his left eye so that he wouldn’t have to look at her.
“That Key’s taking his role,” she said, just as blunt and turned to look at Jonghyun in the mirror.
Jonghyun fought back the urge to roll his eyes.
“The director suggested it,” he defended, voice carefully bland. He was aware that anything he said could easily give him and Kibum away.
“Does it matter? Jjong,” she said, scooting her chair over to be closer, “Jino worked hard for this role.”
Jonghyun couldn’t deny that she was right, although he didn’t really want to admit it so he simply hummed in vague agreement. The sound of the running water stopped in the bathroom next door.
“You should probably leave before Jino comes back to change,” Jonghyun said casually, still dabbing at his eyelid.
He didn’t expect her to leave, but she got up to her feet nonetheless. She was about to walk out of the room when she suddenly paused in the doorway and turned on her four inch heels to face Jonghyun in the mirror again.
“I almost forgot to tell you,” she said, raising a finger in the air, “the cast is going out tonight. But we’re trying a different club and I think you’ll like it. There’s a live rock band and a bar at the back. I heard the mood is pretty sweet.”
Jonghyun stopped moving and stared at her.
“Anyway,” she continued with a wide smile, “just text me if you want to come.”
With that, she winked and slipped out, not bothering to shut the door this time. Jonghyun was left feeling confused and somehow used.
Suddenly, he really didn’t feel like going back to his small bed and staring at his ceiling again. He sat in his make-up chair longer than usual that night and didn’t even notice when Jino entered the room again to gather his things and then leave. Jonghyun’s mind was far too preoccupied with wondering what the hell Jessica had meant by dropping by and telling him this. Was it just a coincidence or did she really know? What exactly did she know?
His thoughts were disturbed by another knock on the door, only this time when it opened he was incredibly relieved to see Kibum’s face. He was in need of a familiar and comforting presence.
“What’s taking you so long,” Kibum spoke quietly, reaching over to take the ball of cotton from Jonghyun’s hand. He tugged at the blond’s hair a little to tilt his head back so that the younger could finish removing his make-up for him.
“I was thinking,” Jonghyun answered truthfully, letting his eyes fall shut under Kibum’s touch.
“About what?”
Jonghyun really didn’t want to start talking about Jessica or about what she had said - not right now, not when all he wanted was a break and Key’s warmth close to him. He didn’t want to go home either. To be honest, he just wanted Kibum. Just him.
“I was thinking...” he paused mid-phrase to exhale when the younger’s fingers rubbed soothingly at the back of his neck, “I was thinking we could go to your place for once...”
Kibum stilled in his movements, which made Jonghyun open his eyes again to peer at him.
“W-what about Roo?” he asked, avoiding the elder’s curious gaze.
“What about her?” Jonghyun replied with big round brown eyes.
“Don’t you need to, like, feed her or something?”
“She can wait,” the blond spoke, turning around in his chair to face Kibum properly. He took one of his hands and played with his long, thin fingers. “I’m serious, can we go?”
Key ducked his head to not have to stare into those incredibly round eyes.
“I don’t know, Jjong,” he said after a while and Jonghyun frowned, pulling his hand closer to his chest.
“I’d really like to lie in your bed.”
“I don’t know,” Kibum repeated, still avoiding Jonghyun’s gaze. He exhaled slowly and bit at his bottom lip. “I... I live with my parents.”
Oh.
“For real?” Jonghyun asked, surprised. “I thought you lived on your own, for some reason.”
“It’s not something I like to say out loud,” the younger boy spoke after a while, eyes finally lifting to meet Jonghyun’s.
“Key, you’re nineteen,” Jonghyun reminded him and it suddenly struck the blond that Kibum behaved as if he was much older. “It’s only normal.”
The elder was being honest: Key shouldn’t feel ashamed of something that was common for most people his age. Kibum was silent, looking at his fingers as Jonghyun kept toying with them when something occurred to the blond boy.
“Your parents are okay with you spending most of your nights in my bed?” he asked playfully.
“Well,” Kibum said, biting his lip again but this time he did so with a small smile, “they think you’re a good friend.”
“I see,” Jonghyun nodded, a small smile also curling his lips despite everything. “They should come to the show sometime.”
“Sometime,” Key answered, and that was all that was said for a while.
They walked back to Jonghyun’s apartment, hands in pockets, and Roo was beyond happy to see the black-haired boy again when the elder unlocked his door. Jonghyun made tea for the both of them and as much as he wanted to just enjoy being with Kibum away from unfriendly eyes, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Jessica had told him earlier.
“You were right,” Jonghyun said eventually, once they had settled onto his black couch to stare at the television. “Jino and Jessica are being weird.”
Kibum leaned into him slightly, resting his head on his shoulder so that Jonghyun could feel his breath on his neck when he exhaled. “I think we should be more careful,” he spoke tiredly, eyelids slowly falling shut.
“Hmm,” Jonghyun hummed, because what else could he say?
***
Sometime during the night they had woken up and dragged themselves to Jonghyun’s bed. When the blond woke up again later that morning, Kibum was still fast asleep with his face pressed into Jonghyun’s chest. The blond had an arm around the younger boy’s waist and could feel Kibum’s arm across his. Jonghyun’s other arm was a bit cramped from lying on it all night but he didn’t move because he didn’t want to wake the other up. Kibum looked peaceful in his sleep.
So he just watched. He watched how the boy’s chest rose and fell with every one of his deep breaths, how a little stubble was showing on his upper lip and how his eyelashes tickled his skin. He watched how perfect his pink lips looked all puckered up against his chest like that, how round his face suddenly seemed and how his hair brushed over his long neck. He watched how Kibum’s eyes slowly fluttered opened and stared right into his.
Jonghyun still didn’t move, but simply watched as the other’s gaze became soft but expectant as though he had something in mind but didn’t know how to say it out loud. Jonghyun smiled a bit, fingers tracing Key’s spine absentmindedly. He could feel the younger’s hand come to life, his fingers skimming over Jonghyun’s hip as he slid his palm towards the elder’s stomach.
“Jjong,” Kibum spoke barely above a whisper, trying not to destroy the tranquility of the moment. “Why did you help me?”
Kibum’s eyes held nothing but sincerity - he somehow managed to look so small, so genuine, like everything about him was soft and warm. Comfortable. Jonghyun tightened his hold on him.
“What?” the blond mumbled sleepily.
“Why did you help me, that first day when we met,” Kibum spoke again, fingers curling around Jonghyun’s hip. “You just came to me backstage and never let me go.”
“Because I fell for you since the very beginning, Kibum,” Jonghyun answered slowly, quietly. “I thought you’d figured that out.”
There was no coy smile or knowing smirk on the younger boy’s face - he merely kept looking at Jonghyun and there they were, those three words that had popped into the blond’s mind were suddenly on the tip of his tongue but he kept quiet. They could wait.
***
Key and Jino switched roles a week later. Jonghyun and Key had talked about it at length and had decided not to share a dressing room, as was customary for the male lead and the supporting actor. Instead, they would just keep to their current lounges in an attempt to protect their relationship from the seemingly talkative cast. Jonghyun was doing his best to avoid all the gossip; he had heard enough as it was and could only hope that people would get over it, whatever “it” was, and eventually forget.
It was harder to ignore Jino, however, considering him and the lead shared a room almost every night. The boy was obviously displeased and it would have been a lie to say that Jonghyun didn’t feel a little bad. But what could he do now? What was done was done - besides, Key really did suit his new part better. Life isn’t fair and Jonghyun knew all about it - or he thought he did.
Jonghyun and Key stopped talking to each other at work, like they had agreed. Jonghyun was finding it hard to just ignore the other whenever they crossed instead of pulling him aside to talk to him like he would have done usually.
A week soon turned into two, then three. The cast was kept busy with a few added rehearsals, promotions and the beginning of the summer schedule - the busiest time of the year for theatre productions. Jonghyun had been expecting to spend less time with Kibum, but he hadn’t been expecting to spend almost no time with Kibum, save for their shared scenes in the musical and a night together here and there. Jonghyun would still text him as he always did, but the younger boy wouldn’t always reply or if he did, it would take him a while.
Jonghyun wasn’t stupid: he knew that what they had shared for the past few months had been idyllic and that sooner or later, things would slow down. It was only normal, wasn’t it? The initial excitement of dating and of forbidden nights spend together under thin sheets had faded a bit, like in any relationship. They didn’t need to spend every second of their free time together and Jonghyun knew this. He knew it but it didn’t make it any less easy to stare at Kibum from afar.
Jonghyun wanted to say something about it but Kibum wasn’t acting like anything was wrong. Maybe it was all in Jonghyun’s head and there really was nothing to worry about. Besides, Key seemed a little tired these days, so he didn’t press the issue. Maybe the boy just needed some time by himself to rest.
All this meant that Jonghyun had some free time on his hands for the first time in months. He used it to write and work on lyrics long-forgotten. He managed to distract himself like that for a while, choosing to brush off reality because reality was a rather worrisome place lately.
It was a hot and rainy Sunday when Jonghyun decided to bend the rules and corner Kibum while on his way to the bathroom after the show. They didn’t have anything scheduled the next day for once and Jonghyun was hoping to spend it with Kibum.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing the taller boy’s wrist. When Kibum turned around to face him, Jonghyun couldn’t help but notice how worn-out he looked. Still, the boy gave Jonghyun a bright smile.
“Hey.”
“Can we see each other tomorrow?” Jonghyun asked quickly, aware that they were in the middle of a corridor and that people could walk by at any moment.
Key bit his lower lip before answering. “I’m sorry, but I’ll be going to Daegu to visit my grandmother.”
“Oh,” Jonghyun said. “Can I, I mean, should I come?”
Kibum gave a tired smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m going with my parents,” he replied simply.
“Oh,” Jonghyun said again before frowning a bit. “Is your grandmother okay?”
“Yeah.”
Jonghyun almost asked Kibum if he was okay because he just looked so drained, but didn’t since Key reached out to squeeze the elder’s hand in his own.
“I’ll see you around, ‘kay?”
Jonghyun could only nod before the boy was gone.
Jonghyun did the same thing a week later. To say that he was craving for Key’s presence by his side was an understatement. Even his lyrics had turned to stories of longing, heavy with I miss you’s and don’t leave me’s. It was depressing.
This time, Key didn’t look worn-out: he looked exhausted, exhausted in a way that made Jonghyun feel weary himself. Kibum had always been lively, but now it seemed like all he wanted to do was crawl into bed.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
Key gave a long, deep sigh, his tired eyelids looking even heavier and droopier with all that dark make-up on them. “Sorry, Jjong, but not tomorrow.”
Jonghyun wanted to say something but kept his mouth shut because Kibum really did look sorry when he squeezed his hand.
The next day, Jonghyun was desperately looking for a distraction - preferably not in the form of writing. He had grown tired of his own lyrics and wanted something to do with himself that would brighten his mood, something that Kibum somehow always managed to do. Kibum just generally had that effect on him.
So he thought of their last real date, of wet kisses under the rain and of make-out sessions in music shops. Before he knew it, he was out of his apartment and hoping on a bus that would hopefully take him near that store.
He ended up getting lost and had to take another bus as well as walk a little before he recognized his surroundings. He wasn’t all that familiar with this part of the city and was relieved to find the small street lined with shops. It was getting rather late in the afternoon but Jonghyun was still hoping he could sneak into the store before it closed to play on the guitars and basses. He began to walk faster, hoping his day off wouldn’t be a complete failure.
He turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks.
Two people were standing on the sidewalk with their backs to him. One of them Jonghyun would have recognized anywhere and the other, well, the other he was pretty sure was Dongwoon.
Jonghyun stayed still for the longest time, unable to move as he eyed the two boys talking in the distance. When the taller one turned around and walked away, crossing the street before disappearing at an intersection, Jonghyun’s heart sank in his chest because he hadn’t been mistaken.
When he turned around, though, he spotted the blond immediately, his eyes widening and his shoulders stiffening at once as Jonghyun could only stare back.
The black-haired boy quickly but carefully made his way towards him. He looked worried.
“Hey,” Key called out when there were only about ten meters separating them.
Jonghyun didn’t answer, instead managed to smile weakly as Kibum came to a stop beside him.
“Hey,” he said again, sliding his hand into Jonghyun’s, “I know you wanted to do something today but it’s just - Dongwoon had already called me and,” Kibum paused to inhale, “I hadn’t seen him in a while so...”
Jonghyun hummed in the back of his throat and was looking at his shoes when he felt Key’s fingers press into his jaw to tilt his head upwards. Kibum was frowning, his eyes wide and anxious.
“Say something...” he pleaded, and Jonghyun had never, never seen him so hopeless.
“I miss you,” the blond said, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.
Kibum seemed to soften at once and pulled Jonghyun into a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy lately,” the taller boy spoke with his cheek pressed into Jonghyun’s dyed hair.
“Hey Key?” Jonghyun said after a while.
“Hmm?”
“Next time, just tell me, okay?”
“Okay.”
But sometimes, Kibum thought, some things were better left unsaid.
Previous || Next
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A/N: I'm really sorry it took a while to update but life got real busy real fast. Again, sorry!
Two chapters left to this fic! \o/
In unrelated (but not irrelevant!) news, I'm going to SMTown next week. I know. I can't believe it either. Seriously. Somebody pinch me. o.O I'll save all the spazzing for another post xD
Thanks for reading!
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Rock musical!AU, Drama & Romance
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
__________________
Recap: It had been a stupid argument, really, but they had let their tempers and frustration and bottled-up feelings get in the way and ended up making it worse. He had never meant to get Kibum so worked up, to make him so angry - all he wanted was to understand but Key wasn’t helping.
Rock My World - Chapter 10
It wasn’t as awkward as Jonghyun thought it would be: they were quick to forgive each other, to apologize for words that had been too harsh and emotions that had gone too far. Kibum was just stressed out and Jonghyun understood.
Still, as their first real fight it had given the elder a taste of what losing Key would feel like, of how miserable it would make him and of how much he still pined for him. Three words suddenly popped into his mind and he wondered if it was too early to feel that way, too early to speak them out loud so he remained quiet instead. A small part of him kept worrying that it would only make things more complicated if he did speak up and that he would end up hurting in the end. He was glad that they had to perform later that night because it gave him an excuse to forget all those heavy feelings weighing down on him and just sing - pretend to be someone else.
Key was brilliant, as usual, yet Jonghyun couldn’t help but notice that he was less into it that night. He really did look sorry and had apologized over and over again to the point where Jonghyun felt even worse for getting angry at him. He couldn’t wait to just forget about everything and move on.
He was sitting in his make-up chair facing the mirror, wiping his face clean when he heard a knock on the door. Jonghyun was about to tell whoever had knocked to wait a bit because Jino was still in the shower and probably wouldn’t appreciate it if the elder let random people into their dressing room at the moment. However, before the blond could do anything, the door opened and Jessica stepped inside, still in her stage clothes, and shut the door behind her.
Jonghyun was really not in the mood for this.
“Um, hi?” he said, tone a bit sarcastic because what was the point of knocking if she wasn’t going to wait for an answer.
She didn’t respond, didn’t even acknowledge him, instead moving towards the mirror and plopping down onto the second make-up chair next to Jonghyun’s. Only then did she turn to him.
“Jino told me,” she said bluntly.
“Jino told you what,” he sighed, already tired of this conversation. He busied himself with wiping the charcoal-coloured eye shadow off of his left eye so that he wouldn’t have to look at her.
“That Key’s taking his role,” she said, just as blunt and turned to look at Jonghyun in the mirror.
Jonghyun fought back the urge to roll his eyes.
“The director suggested it,” he defended, voice carefully bland. He was aware that anything he said could easily give him and Kibum away.
“Does it matter? Jjong,” she said, scooting her chair over to be closer, “Jino worked hard for this role.”
Jonghyun couldn’t deny that she was right, although he didn’t really want to admit it so he simply hummed in vague agreement. The sound of the running water stopped in the bathroom next door.
“You should probably leave before Jino comes back to change,” Jonghyun said casually, still dabbing at his eyelid.
He didn’t expect her to leave, but she got up to her feet nonetheless. She was about to walk out of the room when she suddenly paused in the doorway and turned on her four inch heels to face Jonghyun in the mirror again.
“I almost forgot to tell you,” she said, raising a finger in the air, “the cast is going out tonight. But we’re trying a different club and I think you’ll like it. There’s a live rock band and a bar at the back. I heard the mood is pretty sweet.”
Jonghyun stopped moving and stared at her.
“Anyway,” she continued with a wide smile, “just text me if you want to come.”
With that, she winked and slipped out, not bothering to shut the door this time. Jonghyun was left feeling confused and somehow used.
Suddenly, he really didn’t feel like going back to his small bed and staring at his ceiling again. He sat in his make-up chair longer than usual that night and didn’t even notice when Jino entered the room again to gather his things and then leave. Jonghyun’s mind was far too preoccupied with wondering what the hell Jessica had meant by dropping by and telling him this. Was it just a coincidence or did she really know? What exactly did she know?
His thoughts were disturbed by another knock on the door, only this time when it opened he was incredibly relieved to see Kibum’s face. He was in need of a familiar and comforting presence.
“What’s taking you so long,” Kibum spoke quietly, reaching over to take the ball of cotton from Jonghyun’s hand. He tugged at the blond’s hair a little to tilt his head back so that the younger could finish removing his make-up for him.
“I was thinking,” Jonghyun answered truthfully, letting his eyes fall shut under Kibum’s touch.
“About what?”
Jonghyun really didn’t want to start talking about Jessica or about what she had said - not right now, not when all he wanted was a break and Key’s warmth close to him. He didn’t want to go home either. To be honest, he just wanted Kibum. Just him.
“I was thinking...” he paused mid-phrase to exhale when the younger’s fingers rubbed soothingly at the back of his neck, “I was thinking we could go to your place for once...”
Kibum stilled in his movements, which made Jonghyun open his eyes again to peer at him.
“W-what about Roo?” he asked, avoiding the elder’s curious gaze.
“What about her?” Jonghyun replied with big round brown eyes.
“Don’t you need to, like, feed her or something?”
“She can wait,” the blond spoke, turning around in his chair to face Kibum properly. He took one of his hands and played with his long, thin fingers. “I’m serious, can we go?”
Key ducked his head to not have to stare into those incredibly round eyes.
“I don’t know, Jjong,” he said after a while and Jonghyun frowned, pulling his hand closer to his chest.
“I’d really like to lie in your bed.”
“I don’t know,” Kibum repeated, still avoiding Jonghyun’s gaze. He exhaled slowly and bit at his bottom lip. “I... I live with my parents.”
Oh.
“For real?” Jonghyun asked, surprised. “I thought you lived on your own, for some reason.”
“It’s not something I like to say out loud,” the younger boy spoke after a while, eyes finally lifting to meet Jonghyun’s.
“Key, you’re nineteen,” Jonghyun reminded him and it suddenly struck the blond that Kibum behaved as if he was much older. “It’s only normal.”
The elder was being honest: Key shouldn’t feel ashamed of something that was common for most people his age. Kibum was silent, looking at his fingers as Jonghyun kept toying with them when something occurred to the blond boy.
“Your parents are okay with you spending most of your nights in my bed?” he asked playfully.
“Well,” Kibum said, biting his lip again but this time he did so with a small smile, “they think you’re a good friend.”
“I see,” Jonghyun nodded, a small smile also curling his lips despite everything. “They should come to the show sometime.”
“Sometime,” Key answered, and that was all that was said for a while.
They walked back to Jonghyun’s apartment, hands in pockets, and Roo was beyond happy to see the black-haired boy again when the elder unlocked his door. Jonghyun made tea for the both of them and as much as he wanted to just enjoy being with Kibum away from unfriendly eyes, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Jessica had told him earlier.
“You were right,” Jonghyun said eventually, once they had settled onto his black couch to stare at the television. “Jino and Jessica are being weird.”
Kibum leaned into him slightly, resting his head on his shoulder so that Jonghyun could feel his breath on his neck when he exhaled. “I think we should be more careful,” he spoke tiredly, eyelids slowly falling shut.
“Hmm,” Jonghyun hummed, because what else could he say?
***
Sometime during the night they had woken up and dragged themselves to Jonghyun’s bed. When the blond woke up again later that morning, Kibum was still fast asleep with his face pressed into Jonghyun’s chest. The blond had an arm around the younger boy’s waist and could feel Kibum’s arm across his. Jonghyun’s other arm was a bit cramped from lying on it all night but he didn’t move because he didn’t want to wake the other up. Kibum looked peaceful in his sleep.
So he just watched. He watched how the boy’s chest rose and fell with every one of his deep breaths, how a little stubble was showing on his upper lip and how his eyelashes tickled his skin. He watched how perfect his pink lips looked all puckered up against his chest like that, how round his face suddenly seemed and how his hair brushed over his long neck. He watched how Kibum’s eyes slowly fluttered opened and stared right into his.
Jonghyun still didn’t move, but simply watched as the other’s gaze became soft but expectant as though he had something in mind but didn’t know how to say it out loud. Jonghyun smiled a bit, fingers tracing Key’s spine absentmindedly. He could feel the younger’s hand come to life, his fingers skimming over Jonghyun’s hip as he slid his palm towards the elder’s stomach.
“Jjong,” Kibum spoke barely above a whisper, trying not to destroy the tranquility of the moment. “Why did you help me?”
Kibum’s eyes held nothing but sincerity - he somehow managed to look so small, so genuine, like everything about him was soft and warm. Comfortable. Jonghyun tightened his hold on him.
“What?” the blond mumbled sleepily.
“Why did you help me, that first day when we met,” Kibum spoke again, fingers curling around Jonghyun’s hip. “You just came to me backstage and never let me go.”
“Because I fell for you since the very beginning, Kibum,” Jonghyun answered slowly, quietly. “I thought you’d figured that out.”
There was no coy smile or knowing smirk on the younger boy’s face - he merely kept looking at Jonghyun and there they were, those three words that had popped into the blond’s mind were suddenly on the tip of his tongue but he kept quiet. They could wait.
***
Key and Jino switched roles a week later. Jonghyun and Key had talked about it at length and had decided not to share a dressing room, as was customary for the male lead and the supporting actor. Instead, they would just keep to their current lounges in an attempt to protect their relationship from the seemingly talkative cast. Jonghyun was doing his best to avoid all the gossip; he had heard enough as it was and could only hope that people would get over it, whatever “it” was, and eventually forget.
It was harder to ignore Jino, however, considering him and the lead shared a room almost every night. The boy was obviously displeased and it would have been a lie to say that Jonghyun didn’t feel a little bad. But what could he do now? What was done was done - besides, Key really did suit his new part better. Life isn’t fair and Jonghyun knew all about it - or he thought he did.
Jonghyun and Key stopped talking to each other at work, like they had agreed. Jonghyun was finding it hard to just ignore the other whenever they crossed instead of pulling him aside to talk to him like he would have done usually.
A week soon turned into two, then three. The cast was kept busy with a few added rehearsals, promotions and the beginning of the summer schedule - the busiest time of the year for theatre productions. Jonghyun had been expecting to spend less time with Kibum, but he hadn’t been expecting to spend almost no time with Kibum, save for their shared scenes in the musical and a night together here and there. Jonghyun would still text him as he always did, but the younger boy wouldn’t always reply or if he did, it would take him a while.
Jonghyun wasn’t stupid: he knew that what they had shared for the past few months had been idyllic and that sooner or later, things would slow down. It was only normal, wasn’t it? The initial excitement of dating and of forbidden nights spend together under thin sheets had faded a bit, like in any relationship. They didn’t need to spend every second of their free time together and Jonghyun knew this. He knew it but it didn’t make it any less easy to stare at Kibum from afar.
Jonghyun wanted to say something about it but Kibum wasn’t acting like anything was wrong. Maybe it was all in Jonghyun’s head and there really was nothing to worry about. Besides, Key seemed a little tired these days, so he didn’t press the issue. Maybe the boy just needed some time by himself to rest.
All this meant that Jonghyun had some free time on his hands for the first time in months. He used it to write and work on lyrics long-forgotten. He managed to distract himself like that for a while, choosing to brush off reality because reality was a rather worrisome place lately.
It was a hot and rainy Sunday when Jonghyun decided to bend the rules and corner Kibum while on his way to the bathroom after the show. They didn’t have anything scheduled the next day for once and Jonghyun was hoping to spend it with Kibum.
“Hey,” he said, grabbing the taller boy’s wrist. When Kibum turned around to face him, Jonghyun couldn’t help but notice how worn-out he looked. Still, the boy gave Jonghyun a bright smile.
“Hey.”
“Can we see each other tomorrow?” Jonghyun asked quickly, aware that they were in the middle of a corridor and that people could walk by at any moment.
Key bit his lower lip before answering. “I’m sorry, but I’ll be going to Daegu to visit my grandmother.”
“Oh,” Jonghyun said. “Can I, I mean, should I come?”
Kibum gave a tired smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m going with my parents,” he replied simply.
“Oh,” Jonghyun said again before frowning a bit. “Is your grandmother okay?”
“Yeah.”
Jonghyun almost asked Kibum if he was okay because he just looked so drained, but didn’t since Key reached out to squeeze the elder’s hand in his own.
“I’ll see you around, ‘kay?”
Jonghyun could only nod before the boy was gone.
Jonghyun did the same thing a week later. To say that he was craving for Key’s presence by his side was an understatement. Even his lyrics had turned to stories of longing, heavy with I miss you’s and don’t leave me’s. It was depressing.
This time, Key didn’t look worn-out: he looked exhausted, exhausted in a way that made Jonghyun feel weary himself. Kibum had always been lively, but now it seemed like all he wanted to do was crawl into bed.
“Can I see you tomorrow?”
Key gave a long, deep sigh, his tired eyelids looking even heavier and droopier with all that dark make-up on them. “Sorry, Jjong, but not tomorrow.”
Jonghyun wanted to say something but kept his mouth shut because Kibum really did look sorry when he squeezed his hand.
The next day, Jonghyun was desperately looking for a distraction - preferably not in the form of writing. He had grown tired of his own lyrics and wanted something to do with himself that would brighten his mood, something that Kibum somehow always managed to do. Kibum just generally had that effect on him.
So he thought of their last real date, of wet kisses under the rain and of make-out sessions in music shops. Before he knew it, he was out of his apartment and hoping on a bus that would hopefully take him near that store.
He ended up getting lost and had to take another bus as well as walk a little before he recognized his surroundings. He wasn’t all that familiar with this part of the city and was relieved to find the small street lined with shops. It was getting rather late in the afternoon but Jonghyun was still hoping he could sneak into the store before it closed to play on the guitars and basses. He began to walk faster, hoping his day off wouldn’t be a complete failure.
He turned a corner and stopped dead in his tracks.
Two people were standing on the sidewalk with their backs to him. One of them Jonghyun would have recognized anywhere and the other, well, the other he was pretty sure was Dongwoon.
Jonghyun stayed still for the longest time, unable to move as he eyed the two boys talking in the distance. When the taller one turned around and walked away, crossing the street before disappearing at an intersection, Jonghyun’s heart sank in his chest because he hadn’t been mistaken.
When he turned around, though, he spotted the blond immediately, his eyes widening and his shoulders stiffening at once as Jonghyun could only stare back.
The black-haired boy quickly but carefully made his way towards him. He looked worried.
“Hey,” Key called out when there were only about ten meters separating them.
Jonghyun didn’t answer, instead managed to smile weakly as Kibum came to a stop beside him.
“Hey,” he said again, sliding his hand into Jonghyun’s, “I know you wanted to do something today but it’s just - Dongwoon had already called me and,” Kibum paused to inhale, “I hadn’t seen him in a while so...”
Jonghyun hummed in the back of his throat and was looking at his shoes when he felt Key’s fingers press into his jaw to tilt his head upwards. Kibum was frowning, his eyes wide and anxious.
“Say something...” he pleaded, and Jonghyun had never, never seen him so hopeless.
“I miss you,” the blond said, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.
Kibum seemed to soften at once and pulled Jonghyun into a tight embrace.
“I’m sorry, I’ve just been busy lately,” the taller boy spoke with his cheek pressed into Jonghyun’s dyed hair.
“Hey Key?” Jonghyun said after a while.
“Hmm?”
“Next time, just tell me, okay?”
“Okay.”
But sometimes, Kibum thought, some things were better left unsaid.
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A/N: I'm really sorry it took a while to update but life got real busy real fast. Again, sorry!
Two chapters left to this fic! \o/
In unrelated (but not irrelevant!) news, I'm going to SMTown next week. I know. I can't believe it either. Seriously. Somebody pinch me. o.O I'll save all the spazzing for another post xD
Thanks for reading!