Rock My World (Chapter 9)
Pairing: JongKey
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Rock musical!AU, Drama & Romance
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
__________________
Rock My World - Chapter 9
The rain still hadn’t stopped by the time the two boys reached a street they recognized. They had gotten a bit lost and were glad to see the familiar buildings. The cold rain had soaked through their clothes yet again and Kibum was even shivering a bit.
“We’ve got the day off tomorrow, too,” Key said as they were headed to the bus station.
“What do you have in mind?” Jonghyun asked; past experience had taught him to go along with anything the younger boy suggested.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, hands stuffed into the tight pockets of his jeans. “I think it’s supposed to rain again.”
“We could just stay inside then,” the blond spoke and Kibum shot him a playful glance that he returned with a smirk. “I know plenty of things we could do inside...”
Key shoved his shoulder, pushing him off the sidewalk.
“Like cuddling! I meant cuddling!” Jonghyun protested as he made his way back to Kibum’s side.
“Sure you did,” the black-haired boy said fondly, reaching over to tangle the other’s fingers with his.
“What do you want to do?” Jonghyun asked honestly. “I don’t mind.”
“Well,” Key began, swinging their joined hands back and forth between them, “I could stay over for the night...”
“Great,” Jonghyun said with a shamelessly wide smile, “I’m really liking this two day break.”
Kibum hummed in agreement, eyes on the road ahead of them. Jonghyun tugged on his hand to get his attention.
“I’ve missed stealing kisses backstage, though,” the blond said, pursing his thick lips into his best pout. It had been more than a month, almost two, since the pair had decided to end their backstage encounters. That and the fact that they were putting on more shows these days meant that Jonghyun was feeling a bit Key-deprived.
“Sap,” and Kibum rolled his eyes, but he was smiling a bit, too.
“If only I had my own private dressing room,” Jonghyun fantasized, “then I could sneak you in and-”
“Jjong,” Key cut him off with an amused sigh, “we’d still be at work. It’s wrong.”
“Not if nobody sees us.”
“They’d hear us,” Kibum reasoned, ignoring Jonghyun’s mumbled “More like you...”
“Besides,” Key continued, unfazed, “you’re sharing rooms with Jino, so unless you want to give him an eyeful and render him speechless - not that he talks that much anyway-”
“Or you could get promoted and then I’d get to share with you,” Jonghyun interrupted the boy, suddenly remembering his chat with the director all those weeks ago.
“Don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not,” Jonghyun insisted, pulling on the taller boy’s hand to make him turn around and face him. “I spoke to the director a while ago and he sort of let slip that he preferred you in Jino’s role.”
There was a look of disbelief in Kibum’s eyes.
“Really?” he asked and Jonghyun nodded, smiling. “I’d like to get promoted,” Kibum admitted, scuffing his shoe on the pavement and lowering his gaze to watch his feet. Jonghyun thought it was cute.
“I’d like that too,” the elder said, smile a bit smug. Key’s eyes darted upwards to meet Jonghyun’s for a second before dropping to their feet again.
“Would I...” Kibum began, uncharacteristically shy, “would I also get a raise?”
“Yeah, since you’d have more lines and stage time - with me.” The blond ended his statement with a wink, but he ended up looking more dorky than suave.
“The director really said that?” Kibum asked, still disbelieving. “About me being better for Jino’s role?”
Jonghyun reached for his hands and pulled him closer.
“Yes,” he spoke softly once the other had looked up into his eyes.
“And what do you think?” Kibum asked, voice low.
“I think you’re always great,” Jonghyun said smoothly, earning a small grin from the other boy, “but I think he’s right.”
“Do you think you could, well - only if you want to of course - maybe talk to him? About me?” There was a bit of nervousness in Key’s eyes as he spoke.
“Sure,” Jonghyun agreed, squeezing the other’s hands in his, “but you should talk to him yourself, too. Tell him you’re interested.”
“Yeah yeah, it’s just-” Kibum paused, searching for the right words, “he’ll listen to you more.”
“I’ll talk to him, no worries,” Jonghyun said and he had barely uttered the last word when Kibum hugged him, arms thrown across his shorter shoulders.
“Thank you,” he muttered to Jonghyun’s ear.
“If I had known this would make you so happy, I would have mentioned it before,” the elder said with a chuckle, a bit surprised by the younger’s sudden embrace but sinking into it nonetheless.
Kibum shrugged as he let go of the blond boy.
“I like the role better,” he said and a smirk crept onto his lips, “it’s more fun when I get to be your main co-star.”
Key’s smirk was becoming more suggestive by the second, so much so that Jonghyun grabbed his wrist to drag him down the street.
“Less talking, more walking,” he said, eager to get back to his apartment. Kibum complied easily.
***
Jonghyun managed to run into their director later in the week. He made sure to bow twice and was glad when the older man struck up a conversation with him about the back-up dancers. Jonghyun subtly - or so he hoped - threw in a mention of Key and that was all it took for the man to start talking about the black-haired boy. It was easy, surprisingly easy and when Jonghyun said that Key was interested in changing roles, the director said he would talk to the producers to see what they thought. Things were looking pretty good.
The production kept putting on five shows every week and the artists sometimes had to work even on their days off. The producers had just hired a live band so the company held many rehearsals to help coordinate stage artists, musicians and sound technicians. Jonghyun couldn’t really whine about it because he did prefer live music over pre-recorded soundtracks but he was tempted to whine at times since all this extra work meant less time with Key. He hadn’t properly spoken to the boy in a week and hadn’t spent some time alone with him in two. Jonghyun would have liked to pretend that it was only his sex life that was lacking lately, but it was much more than that. He genuinely missed Kibum.
(Even Roo missed him. Jonghyun never scratched her behind the ears quite like Kibum did.)
Key hadn’t been looking too happy himself these past few days. More often than not he would be frowning, as though deeply in thought or conflicted. Jonghyun meant to ask him what was wrong but never got the chance to do so because he could never seem to get the boy alone. Of course they texted, but Kibum would act normal over the phone which confused Jonghyun more than anything.
It wasn’t until a few days later that he crossed Kibum while on his way back from the bathroom at the end of the corridor, alone for once. Key had his eyes glued to his shoes and didn’t even notice the blond at first.
“Hey,” Jonghyun said, grabbing Kibum’s wrist to make him stop in his tracks and look up. Kibum’s face brightened when he met the blond’s eyes.
“Hey,” he greeted back in a quiet voice that was really unlike him.
“What’s wrong?”
Kibum sighed and ran a hand through his hair before answering, avoiding Jonghyun’s round eyes.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to change roles anymore,” he spoke sullenly.
“Why not?” the blond asked, genuinely surprised. Kibum had seemed to like the idea of switching roles a few weeks earlier.
“It’s just,” Kibum began, pausing to sigh, “what about Jino?”
“What about him? He’s done both roles,” Jonghyun reasoned, but Kibum had quite another thing in mind.
“He’ll hate me even more.”
Jonghyun eyes grew wide and Key made a point of avoiding his stare.
“Even more?” the elder asked, confused by those words.
“It’s obvious Jino dislikes me.”
“Why?”
Kibum shrugged.
“Listen,” Jonghyun spoke carefully, “you don’t have to feel bad because the director thinks you’re better for the role.”
“But Jino’s going to absolutely loathe me if he gets demoted.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do,” Kibum replied, tone a bit more harsh than necessary. Jonghyun’s optimism wasn’t making things better.
“And don’t think of it as being demoted or promoted,” the blond continued, ignoring Key’s biting words. “It’s just switching roles.”
Kibum sighed, shoulders slouching and just seeing him look like this made Jonghyun frown.
“Yeah,” he said softly, almost whispering.
Jonghyun grabbed the boy’s wrists in his hands and pulled him forward into a tight embrace. He held the back of Key’s neck with one hand, the other arm wrapped around his back.
“You worry too much,” he spoke into Kibum’s ear.
“I can’t help it,” the younger mumbled, eyes closed. It felt so good to just lose himself in Jonghyun’s arms - like nothing could ever go wrong.
It took another five days before the producers held a meeting to discuss rearrangements within the cast. Jonghyun had overheard a handful of rumours from the cast members themselves and all of them seemed to include either Key or Jino - or both. A few people had guessed what was happening even though neither Jonghyun nor Key had said anything about it. There had been a similar buzz amongst the crew when Onew had left all those months ago. Just like he had back then, Jonghyun simply dismissed the backstage talk, turning a deaf ear to it all. He wasn’t one to gossip and never understood the appeal of it at all.
But the gossip got harder to ignore when Kibum was summoned to the director’s office above the ticket booths one afternoon. Jonghyun distracted himself by striking up a friendly conversation with the newly hired musicians. He was trying out the set of drums on the side stage when he noticed Kibum enter the auditorium, one hour later. He quickly handed over the sticks to the drummer and excused himself before joining the younger boy at the back of the dark theatre. It was hard to properly read Kibum’s expression in the dimmed lighting, especially since he seemed so thoughtful.
“So? How did it go?” the blond asked at once, a bit warily because Kibum didn’t smile when he approached him.
“They’re talking to Jino right now,” Key said blandly, “but yeah, you’re looking at your new main co-star.”
Jonghyun couldn’t figure out why the other didn’t seem happy about it. On the contrary, he seemed almost... troubled. Regardless, Jonghyun felt proud of Kibum.
“When do you start?” the blond asked.
“I don’t know,” Key spoke uncertainly. “It all depends on Jino, I guess.” The black-haired boy frowned as he mentioned the other singer. “Apparently he had been complaining that I wasn’t fit for my role anyway.”
“What?” Jonghyun gasped. That was so unlike the usually silent and stoic Jino. “Who told you that?”
“The director,” Kibum answered in a low tone. “That’s why the producers and him agreed to switch us so easily.”
“That’s a bit harsh - from Jino, I mean.”
“I told you he disliked me.” Kibum’s face was dark. His cheeks looked more sullen and his cheekbones sharper.
“Well if that’s the case everything should be better now, right?” Jonghyun said. Surely if Jino didn’t like the way Kibum interpreted his old role he would want it back, no?
Key didn’t answer - he didn’t look convinced at all.
It took two hours before Jino came out of the director’s office upstairs which was odd, but what was even odder was how the younger singer made a point of ignoring Jonghyun completely in their shared dressing room that night - more so than usual. The lead was too befuddled to ask and even if he didn’t want to admit it, the way Jino glared at him whenever their eyes met was slightly intimidating. What in the world had happened?
Jonghyun went through the show mechanically that night - he was only reciting lines and singing notes, not feeling them like he usually did. His mind was evidently elsewhere; he was busy shrugging off Jino’s cold demeanor. He did notice however that other actors and dancers seemed restless and that Key seemed preoccupied with something which probably had to do with Jino.
When the curtains finally closed at the end of the show, Jonghyun didn’t waste time finding Key and asking him to meet at the back doors once they had cleaned up. He didn’t care that they were both tired - they really needed to talk, alone, and were long overdue.
They were on their way back to Jonghyun’s apartment both with heavy feet and heavy eyelids when the elder decided that his questions couldn’t wait any longer.
“What’s up with Jino?” Jonghyun asked and saw Kibum slow down beside him. “He was so weird tonight.”
“He’s mad,” was the short answer that Jonghyun had been expecting but still didn’t understand.
“What for?”
“Seriously, Jjong?” Key threw the blond a sideways glance and Jonghyun stilled for a second, surprised, because although the younger boy had been sharp with him before, he had never been outright mean.
“Well, I don’t know, seems like he should be happy instead since he’s been complaining, no? I don’t understand anything anymore.”
“No, you don’t,” Kibum agreed.
Jonghyun would have been lying if he said he wasn’t getting slightly mad. Kibum seemed intent on acting all miserable and wasn’t saying anything to the elder - it was infuriating. And it hurt. They had never fought before, and Jonghyun wasn’t naive enough to expect them to never have arguments but he couldn’t believe they were letting this happen all because of Jino. Or maybe it wasn’t all about Jino.
“You’re not helping,” Jonghyun shot back, regretting it as soon as the words rolled off his tongue. He clenched his fists tightly when he saw Kibum roll his eyes at him.
“You have no idea what’s going on, do you?” Key asked and the elder certainly did not appreciate the condescension in his tone. Jonghyun paused in his footsteps at once.
“Because you’re not fucking telling me!” He’d had enough.
“It’s not my fault if you’re blind!” the taller boy shot back, stopping as well and crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“What?” Jonghyun asked, dumbfounded. “What does that even-”
“You’ve never noticed that nobody talks to me except for Taemin and you, that everyone always sends me weird looks?”
Jonghyun had nothing to answer to that and felt himself shrinking under Key’s glare. He had never seen him so angry before. Jonghyun couldn’t stand looking into his eyes any longer so he let his gaze fall to the cement of the dark sidewalk. He heard Kibum draw out a long breath and the air around them got less thick, but he still didn’t look up.
“I think Jessica’s talking to the others behind my back,” the younger finally spoke.
Jonghyun raised his head, noticing for the first time that night just how exhausted the other looked.
“What is she saying?” he asked tentatively, not liking at all where this was going.
“I’m not sure,” the younger said with that same conflicted look he’d had all week, but there was also some anger to it now.
“Why would she do that?” Jonghyun asked again; everything Kibum was saying was only making him more and more confused.
“Jealousy,” Key replied, fast and easy, as though it had been obvious which it wasn’t - to Jonghyun.
“Of who?” Jonghyun spoke, tethering on the edge between annoyance and anger himself when the other rolled his eyes at him yet again.
“Of me, who else?” Kibum shrugged, feigning indifference but the elder knew better than to fall for that.
Jonghyun sighed in an attempt to calm himself down a bit. It didn’t work. “Why?” he asked in defeat.
“It’s obvious she still likes you,” the younger boy replied flatly. His eyes were cold and even though there was only a foot or two separating him from the elder, it felt like there had never been more distance between them.
“Are - are you sure?”
Kibum suddenly groaned as though the conversation was very painful or exhausting - which it definitely was.
“I knew you’d be like this,” he spoke in a low voice.
“Well I’m sorry but you’ve never told me anything!”
“That’s not what I meant,” Kibum snapped back, tone raising. “I knew you would defend her.”
“I am not!” Jonghyun reasoned, angry now because what Kibum was saying was both unfair and uncalled for. “And you know it, so stop being stupid.”
“I’m not the one being stupid here.”
“Kibum-” Jonghyun spoke, tone warning the other that he had gone too far.
“I’m leaving,” the younger announced, turning his back to the blond without further ado and walking away in a brisk but heavy step that left Jonghyun rooted on the spot.
“‘Bum,” Jonghyun called out to his retreating back. The nickname only made the other slow down for a second - he never looked back. “Kim Kibum!” Jonghyun spoke, louder, but this time Key didn’t react at all, pretending not to hear him. He turned a corner and left. Just like that.
Jonghyun was left alone to watch how the lamp posts casted shadows on the empty street.
The walk to his apartment was a long one and the blond boy couldn’t stop going over what Kibum had said, what he had said in some kind of self-torture.
It had been a stupid argument, really, but they had let their tempers and frustration and bottled-up feelings get in the way and ended up making it worse. He had never meant to get Kibum so worked up, to make him so angry - all he wanted was to understand but Key wasn’t helping. Was being in a relationship always so frustrating? Jonghyun never wanted to hurt Kibum, yet it seemed like he had done just that. Things weren’t as simple anymore (had they ever been?) and Jonghyun was getting dizzy just thinking about it. It was much easier to crawl into bed and place his cell phone on the pillow next to his head while he kept thinking of how much he had screwed things up. He hated himself for hurting Kibum, for being blind, for letting Kibum walk away, for needing him so much and for feeling so lonely.
He wished he knew where the other lived and cursed himself for never asking before, wanting nothing more than to run over and hug Kibum, tell him it was all just a bad joke. Tell him he never wanted to spend another night alone like this.
It was nearing 1 AM when he couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t stand staring at his lifeless phone while berating himself in his head so he texted the other a simple I’m sorry. He went back to staring at his lifeless phone for a while and when it became apparent that the other wouldn’t reply, he rolled onto his back to stare at his blank ceiling instead. He felt Roo lick his big toe from where she was curled up in the comforter. She let out a small whine.
“I know,” he sighed.
The sun had already risen by the time Jonghyun succumbed to sleep.
It felt like he had only slept for minutes when Jonghyun was jolted awake by the sound of the buzzer ringing throughout his apartment. It took him a few seconds to wake up fully, but then he was quick to throw his bed sheets to the side and run to the small intercom near his front door. His heartbeat picked up, sending blood rushing throughout his body as he pressed the button with more force than necessary, speaking in a rushed and gruff voice: “Yeah?”
“Let me in,” came a voice he knew all too well.
He did.
Jonghyun stood by his door nervously for a minute, fiddling with the cord on his pyjama bottoms and pacing back and forth while Roo joined him and busied herself running around his feet. When he heard footsteps approaching on the other side of his door, he didn’t even wait to hear a knock before flinging the door open, coming face to face with a tired-looking Kibum. His usually neat hair was a bit messy and about a dozen different emotions were shining in his eyes - his left hand was also clasped around his pink cell phone. He smiled slightly but it was a pained smile, a “please forgive me” smile, an “I’m sorry” smile. Jonghyun threw his arms around him and pulled him inside.
“Sorry,” Kibum said even though he didn’t need to - the blond had already understood. “I...” and for a moment, he seemed at a loss for words, arms hugging the half-naked, shorter boy tighter to his body. “I need you too, you know.”
They promptly ignored Roo, who was jumping around them, begging for attention, in favour of holding each other just a while longer.
Previous || Next
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A/N: I didn't edit all the previous chapters to add a link to this one because LJ is still being funky. Links should work now.
I really want to share these two videos because they made my day :). Hot Jjong & dork Key. A-Yo is one of my favourite songs ^^.
Thank you for reading! The plot is picking up now! \o/
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Rock musical!AU, Drama & Romance
Disclaimer: I wish.
Summary: When Onew leaves the Korean production of RoA, Jonghyun is promoted to lead singer in his place and a new actor is also hired. Sparks fly, drama ensues - Rock & Roll.
Rock and roll, hey
Don't you know, baby, we're all alone now
Give me something to sing about.
- Paramore, Crushcrushcrush
Prologue || 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 || 11 || 12 || Epilogue
__________________
Rock My World - Chapter 9
The rain still hadn’t stopped by the time the two boys reached a street they recognized. They had gotten a bit lost and were glad to see the familiar buildings. The cold rain had soaked through their clothes yet again and Kibum was even shivering a bit.
“We’ve got the day off tomorrow, too,” Key said as they were headed to the bus station.
“What do you have in mind?” Jonghyun asked; past experience had taught him to go along with anything the younger boy suggested.
“I don’t know,” he shrugged, hands stuffed into the tight pockets of his jeans. “I think it’s supposed to rain again.”
“We could just stay inside then,” the blond spoke and Kibum shot him a playful glance that he returned with a smirk. “I know plenty of things we could do inside...”
Key shoved his shoulder, pushing him off the sidewalk.
“Like cuddling! I meant cuddling!” Jonghyun protested as he made his way back to Kibum’s side.
“Sure you did,” the black-haired boy said fondly, reaching over to tangle the other’s fingers with his.
“What do you want to do?” Jonghyun asked honestly. “I don’t mind.”
“Well,” Key began, swinging their joined hands back and forth between them, “I could stay over for the night...”
“Great,” Jonghyun said with a shamelessly wide smile, “I’m really liking this two day break.”
Kibum hummed in agreement, eyes on the road ahead of them. Jonghyun tugged on his hand to get his attention.
“I’ve missed stealing kisses backstage, though,” the blond said, pursing his thick lips into his best pout. It had been more than a month, almost two, since the pair had decided to end their backstage encounters. That and the fact that they were putting on more shows these days meant that Jonghyun was feeling a bit Key-deprived.
“Sap,” and Kibum rolled his eyes, but he was smiling a bit, too.
“If only I had my own private dressing room,” Jonghyun fantasized, “then I could sneak you in and-”
“Jjong,” Key cut him off with an amused sigh, “we’d still be at work. It’s wrong.”
“Not if nobody sees us.”
“They’d hear us,” Kibum reasoned, ignoring Jonghyun’s mumbled “More like you...”
“Besides,” Key continued, unfazed, “you’re sharing rooms with Jino, so unless you want to give him an eyeful and render him speechless - not that he talks that much anyway-”
“Or you could get promoted and then I’d get to share with you,” Jonghyun interrupted the boy, suddenly remembering his chat with the director all those weeks ago.
“Don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not,” Jonghyun insisted, pulling on the taller boy’s hand to make him turn around and face him. “I spoke to the director a while ago and he sort of let slip that he preferred you in Jino’s role.”
There was a look of disbelief in Kibum’s eyes.
“Really?” he asked and Jonghyun nodded, smiling. “I’d like to get promoted,” Kibum admitted, scuffing his shoe on the pavement and lowering his gaze to watch his feet. Jonghyun thought it was cute.
“I’d like that too,” the elder said, smile a bit smug. Key’s eyes darted upwards to meet Jonghyun’s for a second before dropping to their feet again.
“Would I...” Kibum began, uncharacteristically shy, “would I also get a raise?”
“Yeah, since you’d have more lines and stage time - with me.” The blond ended his statement with a wink, but he ended up looking more dorky than suave.
“The director really said that?” Kibum asked, still disbelieving. “About me being better for Jino’s role?”
Jonghyun reached for his hands and pulled him closer.
“Yes,” he spoke softly once the other had looked up into his eyes.
“And what do you think?” Kibum asked, voice low.
“I think you’re always great,” Jonghyun said smoothly, earning a small grin from the other boy, “but I think he’s right.”
“Do you think you could, well - only if you want to of course - maybe talk to him? About me?” There was a bit of nervousness in Key’s eyes as he spoke.
“Sure,” Jonghyun agreed, squeezing the other’s hands in his, “but you should talk to him yourself, too. Tell him you’re interested.”
“Yeah yeah, it’s just-” Kibum paused, searching for the right words, “he’ll listen to you more.”
“I’ll talk to him, no worries,” Jonghyun said and he had barely uttered the last word when Kibum hugged him, arms thrown across his shorter shoulders.
“Thank you,” he muttered to Jonghyun’s ear.
“If I had known this would make you so happy, I would have mentioned it before,” the elder said with a chuckle, a bit surprised by the younger’s sudden embrace but sinking into it nonetheless.
Kibum shrugged as he let go of the blond boy.
“I like the role better,” he said and a smirk crept onto his lips, “it’s more fun when I get to be your main co-star.”
Key’s smirk was becoming more suggestive by the second, so much so that Jonghyun grabbed his wrist to drag him down the street.
“Less talking, more walking,” he said, eager to get back to his apartment. Kibum complied easily.
***
Jonghyun managed to run into their director later in the week. He made sure to bow twice and was glad when the older man struck up a conversation with him about the back-up dancers. Jonghyun subtly - or so he hoped - threw in a mention of Key and that was all it took for the man to start talking about the black-haired boy. It was easy, surprisingly easy and when Jonghyun said that Key was interested in changing roles, the director said he would talk to the producers to see what they thought. Things were looking pretty good.
The production kept putting on five shows every week and the artists sometimes had to work even on their days off. The producers had just hired a live band so the company held many rehearsals to help coordinate stage artists, musicians and sound technicians. Jonghyun couldn’t really whine about it because he did prefer live music over pre-recorded soundtracks but he was tempted to whine at times since all this extra work meant less time with Key. He hadn’t properly spoken to the boy in a week and hadn’t spent some time alone with him in two. Jonghyun would have liked to pretend that it was only his sex life that was lacking lately, but it was much more than that. He genuinely missed Kibum.
(Even Roo missed him. Jonghyun never scratched her behind the ears quite like Kibum did.)
Key hadn’t been looking too happy himself these past few days. More often than not he would be frowning, as though deeply in thought or conflicted. Jonghyun meant to ask him what was wrong but never got the chance to do so because he could never seem to get the boy alone. Of course they texted, but Kibum would act normal over the phone which confused Jonghyun more than anything.
It wasn’t until a few days later that he crossed Kibum while on his way back from the bathroom at the end of the corridor, alone for once. Key had his eyes glued to his shoes and didn’t even notice the blond at first.
“Hey,” Jonghyun said, grabbing Kibum’s wrist to make him stop in his tracks and look up. Kibum’s face brightened when he met the blond’s eyes.
“Hey,” he greeted back in a quiet voice that was really unlike him.
“What’s wrong?”
Kibum sighed and ran a hand through his hair before answering, avoiding Jonghyun’s round eyes.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to change roles anymore,” he spoke sullenly.
“Why not?” the blond asked, genuinely surprised. Kibum had seemed to like the idea of switching roles a few weeks earlier.
“It’s just,” Kibum began, pausing to sigh, “what about Jino?”
“What about him? He’s done both roles,” Jonghyun reasoned, but Kibum had quite another thing in mind.
“He’ll hate me even more.”
Jonghyun eyes grew wide and Key made a point of avoiding his stare.
“Even more?” the elder asked, confused by those words.
“It’s obvious Jino dislikes me.”
“Why?”
Kibum shrugged.
“Listen,” Jonghyun spoke carefully, “you don’t have to feel bad because the director thinks you’re better for the role.”
“But Jino’s going to absolutely loathe me if he gets demoted.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do,” Kibum replied, tone a bit more harsh than necessary. Jonghyun’s optimism wasn’t making things better.
“And don’t think of it as being demoted or promoted,” the blond continued, ignoring Key’s biting words. “It’s just switching roles.”
Kibum sighed, shoulders slouching and just seeing him look like this made Jonghyun frown.
“Yeah,” he said softly, almost whispering.
Jonghyun grabbed the boy’s wrists in his hands and pulled him forward into a tight embrace. He held the back of Key’s neck with one hand, the other arm wrapped around his back.
“You worry too much,” he spoke into Kibum’s ear.
“I can’t help it,” the younger mumbled, eyes closed. It felt so good to just lose himself in Jonghyun’s arms - like nothing could ever go wrong.
It took another five days before the producers held a meeting to discuss rearrangements within the cast. Jonghyun had overheard a handful of rumours from the cast members themselves and all of them seemed to include either Key or Jino - or both. A few people had guessed what was happening even though neither Jonghyun nor Key had said anything about it. There had been a similar buzz amongst the crew when Onew had left all those months ago. Just like he had back then, Jonghyun simply dismissed the backstage talk, turning a deaf ear to it all. He wasn’t one to gossip and never understood the appeal of it at all.
But the gossip got harder to ignore when Kibum was summoned to the director’s office above the ticket booths one afternoon. Jonghyun distracted himself by striking up a friendly conversation with the newly hired musicians. He was trying out the set of drums on the side stage when he noticed Kibum enter the auditorium, one hour later. He quickly handed over the sticks to the drummer and excused himself before joining the younger boy at the back of the dark theatre. It was hard to properly read Kibum’s expression in the dimmed lighting, especially since he seemed so thoughtful.
“So? How did it go?” the blond asked at once, a bit warily because Kibum didn’t smile when he approached him.
“They’re talking to Jino right now,” Key said blandly, “but yeah, you’re looking at your new main co-star.”
Jonghyun couldn’t figure out why the other didn’t seem happy about it. On the contrary, he seemed almost... troubled. Regardless, Jonghyun felt proud of Kibum.
“When do you start?” the blond asked.
“I don’t know,” Key spoke uncertainly. “It all depends on Jino, I guess.” The black-haired boy frowned as he mentioned the other singer. “Apparently he had been complaining that I wasn’t fit for my role anyway.”
“What?” Jonghyun gasped. That was so unlike the usually silent and stoic Jino. “Who told you that?”
“The director,” Kibum answered in a low tone. “That’s why the producers and him agreed to switch us so easily.”
“That’s a bit harsh - from Jino, I mean.”
“I told you he disliked me.” Kibum’s face was dark. His cheeks looked more sullen and his cheekbones sharper.
“Well if that’s the case everything should be better now, right?” Jonghyun said. Surely if Jino didn’t like the way Kibum interpreted his old role he would want it back, no?
Key didn’t answer - he didn’t look convinced at all.
It took two hours before Jino came out of the director’s office upstairs which was odd, but what was even odder was how the younger singer made a point of ignoring Jonghyun completely in their shared dressing room that night - more so than usual. The lead was too befuddled to ask and even if he didn’t want to admit it, the way Jino glared at him whenever their eyes met was slightly intimidating. What in the world had happened?
Jonghyun went through the show mechanically that night - he was only reciting lines and singing notes, not feeling them like he usually did. His mind was evidently elsewhere; he was busy shrugging off Jino’s cold demeanor. He did notice however that other actors and dancers seemed restless and that Key seemed preoccupied with something which probably had to do with Jino.
When the curtains finally closed at the end of the show, Jonghyun didn’t waste time finding Key and asking him to meet at the back doors once they had cleaned up. He didn’t care that they were both tired - they really needed to talk, alone, and were long overdue.
They were on their way back to Jonghyun’s apartment both with heavy feet and heavy eyelids when the elder decided that his questions couldn’t wait any longer.
“What’s up with Jino?” Jonghyun asked and saw Kibum slow down beside him. “He was so weird tonight.”
“He’s mad,” was the short answer that Jonghyun had been expecting but still didn’t understand.
“What for?”
“Seriously, Jjong?” Key threw the blond a sideways glance and Jonghyun stilled for a second, surprised, because although the younger boy had been sharp with him before, he had never been outright mean.
“Well, I don’t know, seems like he should be happy instead since he’s been complaining, no? I don’t understand anything anymore.”
“No, you don’t,” Kibum agreed.
Jonghyun would have been lying if he said he wasn’t getting slightly mad. Kibum seemed intent on acting all miserable and wasn’t saying anything to the elder - it was infuriating. And it hurt. They had never fought before, and Jonghyun wasn’t naive enough to expect them to never have arguments but he couldn’t believe they were letting this happen all because of Jino. Or maybe it wasn’t all about Jino.
“You’re not helping,” Jonghyun shot back, regretting it as soon as the words rolled off his tongue. He clenched his fists tightly when he saw Kibum roll his eyes at him.
“You have no idea what’s going on, do you?” Key asked and the elder certainly did not appreciate the condescension in his tone. Jonghyun paused in his footsteps at once.
“Because you’re not fucking telling me!” He’d had enough.
“It’s not my fault if you’re blind!” the taller boy shot back, stopping as well and crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“What?” Jonghyun asked, dumbfounded. “What does that even-”
“You’ve never noticed that nobody talks to me except for Taemin and you, that everyone always sends me weird looks?”
Jonghyun had nothing to answer to that and felt himself shrinking under Key’s glare. He had never seen him so angry before. Jonghyun couldn’t stand looking into his eyes any longer so he let his gaze fall to the cement of the dark sidewalk. He heard Kibum draw out a long breath and the air around them got less thick, but he still didn’t look up.
“I think Jessica’s talking to the others behind my back,” the younger finally spoke.
Jonghyun raised his head, noticing for the first time that night just how exhausted the other looked.
“What is she saying?” he asked tentatively, not liking at all where this was going.
“I’m not sure,” the younger said with that same conflicted look he’d had all week, but there was also some anger to it now.
“Why would she do that?” Jonghyun asked again; everything Kibum was saying was only making him more and more confused.
“Jealousy,” Key replied, fast and easy, as though it had been obvious which it wasn’t - to Jonghyun.
“Of who?” Jonghyun spoke, tethering on the edge between annoyance and anger himself when the other rolled his eyes at him yet again.
“Of me, who else?” Kibum shrugged, feigning indifference but the elder knew better than to fall for that.
Jonghyun sighed in an attempt to calm himself down a bit. It didn’t work. “Why?” he asked in defeat.
“It’s obvious she still likes you,” the younger boy replied flatly. His eyes were cold and even though there was only a foot or two separating him from the elder, it felt like there had never been more distance between them.
“Are - are you sure?”
Kibum suddenly groaned as though the conversation was very painful or exhausting - which it definitely was.
“I knew you’d be like this,” he spoke in a low voice.
“Well I’m sorry but you’ve never told me anything!”
“That’s not what I meant,” Kibum snapped back, tone raising. “I knew you would defend her.”
“I am not!” Jonghyun reasoned, angry now because what Kibum was saying was both unfair and uncalled for. “And you know it, so stop being stupid.”
“I’m not the one being stupid here.”
“Kibum-” Jonghyun spoke, tone warning the other that he had gone too far.
“I’m leaving,” the younger announced, turning his back to the blond without further ado and walking away in a brisk but heavy step that left Jonghyun rooted on the spot.
“‘Bum,” Jonghyun called out to his retreating back. The nickname only made the other slow down for a second - he never looked back. “Kim Kibum!” Jonghyun spoke, louder, but this time Key didn’t react at all, pretending not to hear him. He turned a corner and left. Just like that.
Jonghyun was left alone to watch how the lamp posts casted shadows on the empty street.
The walk to his apartment was a long one and the blond boy couldn’t stop going over what Kibum had said, what he had said in some kind of self-torture.
It had been a stupid argument, really, but they had let their tempers and frustration and bottled-up feelings get in the way and ended up making it worse. He had never meant to get Kibum so worked up, to make him so angry - all he wanted was to understand but Key wasn’t helping. Was being in a relationship always so frustrating? Jonghyun never wanted to hurt Kibum, yet it seemed like he had done just that. Things weren’t as simple anymore (had they ever been?) and Jonghyun was getting dizzy just thinking about it. It was much easier to crawl into bed and place his cell phone on the pillow next to his head while he kept thinking of how much he had screwed things up. He hated himself for hurting Kibum, for being blind, for letting Kibum walk away, for needing him so much and for feeling so lonely.
He wished he knew where the other lived and cursed himself for never asking before, wanting nothing more than to run over and hug Kibum, tell him it was all just a bad joke. Tell him he never wanted to spend another night alone like this.
It was nearing 1 AM when he couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t stand staring at his lifeless phone while berating himself in his head so he texted the other a simple I’m sorry. He went back to staring at his lifeless phone for a while and when it became apparent that the other wouldn’t reply, he rolled onto his back to stare at his blank ceiling instead. He felt Roo lick his big toe from where she was curled up in the comforter. She let out a small whine.
“I know,” he sighed.
The sun had already risen by the time Jonghyun succumbed to sleep.
It felt like he had only slept for minutes when Jonghyun was jolted awake by the sound of the buzzer ringing throughout his apartment. It took him a few seconds to wake up fully, but then he was quick to throw his bed sheets to the side and run to the small intercom near his front door. His heartbeat picked up, sending blood rushing throughout his body as he pressed the button with more force than necessary, speaking in a rushed and gruff voice: “Yeah?”
“Let me in,” came a voice he knew all too well.
He did.
Jonghyun stood by his door nervously for a minute, fiddling with the cord on his pyjama bottoms and pacing back and forth while Roo joined him and busied herself running around his feet. When he heard footsteps approaching on the other side of his door, he didn’t even wait to hear a knock before flinging the door open, coming face to face with a tired-looking Kibum. His usually neat hair was a bit messy and about a dozen different emotions were shining in his eyes - his left hand was also clasped around his pink cell phone. He smiled slightly but it was a pained smile, a “please forgive me” smile, an “I’m sorry” smile. Jonghyun threw his arms around him and pulled him inside.
“Sorry,” Kibum said even though he didn’t need to - the blond had already understood. “I...” and for a moment, he seemed at a loss for words, arms hugging the half-naked, shorter boy tighter to his body. “I need you too, you know.”
They promptly ignored Roo, who was jumping around them, begging for attention, in favour of holding each other just a while longer.
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A/N: I didn't edit all the previous chapters to add a link to this one because LJ is still being funky. Links should work now.
I really want to share these two videos because they made my day :). Hot Jjong & dork Key. A-Yo is one of my favourite songs ^^.
Thank you for reading! The plot is picking up now! \o/