Aug 24, 2006 12:45
Hexed to Appear Upon the Writer's Death....
If you're reading this, then... well. It's probably over by now.
I've hexed the entry to only show up after I've died... but you know how rubbish I am at hexes.
I'm about to do something incredibly stupid. I'm sure you'll all be talking for weeks about how it's a real shame, but it was after all, a really stupid thing to do. Don't blame you.
So if I die tonight... I thought I'd better leave something. Because I would have loved to have read a message from my parents before they died, telling me their reasons for doing stuff. If they'd have been capable of writing things down, which they weren't, thanks to Bellatrix Lestrange and her cronies. I think that's partly why I'm doing this. To avenge my parents, even if I die trying. I'm not a hero like Dumbledore or Harry. But I can at least try, and it'll be like I at least made an effort to avenge them.
The other reason is because they threatened Susan. And said they’d kill her if I told anyone. And I know enough about Lestrange to know that she never lies. It’s like a weird disease. I believed her when she said she killed my parents, and I still do, even if I never got to see their bodies.
So here goes. The last letter.
Susan. I’m really sorry. We hardly had any time together. You probably think I’m a huge idiot, and you’re not wrong. That’s why you’re in Hufflepuff, and I’m in Gryffindor, see. I think Gryffindor should be the house for the terminally stupid, not the brave (except for Hermione, maybe). But know that I love you. And I’m sorry. And you’re not responsible, in any way, for what I’m doing, so don’t believe it. The fact that you’re my weakness is not your fault. I have a lot of weaknesses, and they could have exploited any of them, but they picked you. And I won’t let anything happen to you. As soon as you read this, owl Dumbledore and get him to take you, and Hannah’s family, if they want it, to safety until school starts. Please. This is all pointless if you get hurt, too. I love you.
Dumbledore. Thanks for trying. I know you used to visit when I was a kid, and I didn’t really know why, but it’s nice to know that someone cared about me. And thanks for letting me stay at school over the summer.
Professor Sprout. I watered the asperginiums and everything else is all taken care of. The Roswiaminiias are budding, though, so they might need pruning before long. Thanks for everything. Take care of my mimbletonius for me, will you? I’ve left it on the shelf in Greenhouse 3.
Harry. I don’t want you getting all up in arms about this, because that would be nearly as stupid as what I’m doing now. But you did give me the courage to do it in the first place, so thank you.
Ron, Dean, Seamus. Don’t have to put up with my snoring any more, right? There’s an upside to everything. Look after Trevor for me? He's sleeping in my stuff in the dormitory.
Hermione. I know you never really considered me a real friend, but I would never have got an E in Charms if it wasn’t for you. If I come back alive, tonight, it’ll be mostly thanks to you. So thanks.
Professor Snape. Thanks for nothing.
I think that’s all. Everyone I have left that might actually give a damn. That sounds sulky, but I’ve been weighing up the pros and cons of the situation for two days, so it’s sort of heavy on my mind, right now... but it doesn't matter anyway.
Wish me luck.
Neville.