Fic: Everything will change (1/4) - Rizzoli & Isles
Title: Everything will change (1/4)
Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Warning: This is an AU story. There will be drama/angst/happy times. Not necessarily in this order.
Summary: Maura and Jane have everything planned. They should know though, that life isn't always what we expect.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: These characters don't belong to me. Sadly.
Notes: This is not my first fic. But it is the first one that I write for this fandom. Hopefully I got the voices right (that sounded sorta schizophrenic). Also, thanks to faberrys2 for beta reading this story.
-x-
She was late.
As usual, Jane was late.
She left Barry talking to the cup of coffee in his hand when she realized how late it was.
She violated more traffic rules than would it be wise to any civilian, let alone a police officer.
She arrived panting and barely able to formulate sentences that could begin to explain her delay.
But none of that made the slightest difference.
Maura Isles had a smile upon her face.
A smile that not even one of Jane’s usual delays would be able to erase.
So, when she saw the detective struggling to catch her breath, she rose from the chair in the waiting room, waited for her to compose herself and, given the confused expression on Jane’s face, greeted her with a kiss on the lips. A long one. When Maura moved away from the detective, her smile was still dancing on her lips. It was unmistakable. Jane didn't have to ask. The answer was right there in Maura’s eyes. And within months, would be in their arms. A baby. Their baby.
-x-
She woke up to an empty bed and cold sheets. Automatically, her instincts went in overdrive and Jane immediately stood up. Jane searched the room and the suite's bathroom at first. No sign of Maura. Her heart began to beat faster within the passing minutes. She sought the gun in the nightstand drawer and got out of the room barefoot. The light came from the end of the hallway and somehow Jane felt ridiculous with the weapon weighing on her hands. It was obvious that Maura would be there. Approaching the doorway she saw the medical examiner sitting in the rocking chair that Jane's father had put together a few days ago. She had her eyes closed and rocked the chair rhythmically, stroking her sixth month pregnant belly. Almost seven. Around her baby bump there was an enormous headset playing something that Jane was not able to identify, but deduced to be classical music. Jane could still recall Maura’s words. "Did you knew that classical music, although it has not been proven to provide the fetus intellectual development, has an important influence on the first five years of a childhood and that it may have permanent effects? Even before birth, the music helps to create peace and harmony for mother and child. This results in a smaller amount of sleepless nights for parents." No, Jane did not know about that. But Maura, of course would. Since they had discovered about the pregnancy, Jane was sure that Maura had read absolutely everything there was available about pregnancy and babies and every single thing about it. Which was not, in any way, a surprise. After the three attempts and the huge investment (financial and emotional) that the two women had made, it was obvious that Dr. Maura Isles would make herself more than ready for what was to come. At least theoretically.
"I've been thinking about baby names." Maura said, feeling Jane’s presence without even opening her eyes.
"Couldn’t you think about it in bed? Or maybe when the sun is out?" Jane asked with a small smile. Maura opened her eyes and offered her an absolutely radiant smile. Jane found herself wishing that the baby inherits that same smile.
"Although I’m still not sure about the reason of your strong objection against the name that I’ve suggested -" Jane interrupted her.
"Maura, Edgar is not and will never be an option."
"I took the liberty of making a new search."
"Of course you did." Jane spoke with no surprise in her voice. Maura' eyes momentarily studied Jane’s figure, analyzing the meaning of her tone of voice. She searched for sarcasm or something similar, but only found the affection of a woman who knows her better than anyone else.
"But before I tell you, I wish you would at least be willing to hear what I have to say, disarmed of any criticism. Now, I know this is a challenge for you Jane, but this baby has to have a name. And if you continue to dismiss all my suggestions, without making any of your own, I am afraid it won’t be possible to head to a conclusion until he completes five years old. Minimal."
"I'm open for suggestions! But I'm not going to name this child after something that could result in a lifetime of endless teasing. That’s all I’m saying."
"Well, for your information, studies suggest that although some names may be more prone to it, almost all names can be targets of some sort of bullying. Therefore this should not be a determining factor in the selection of the name. Many children with common names become target of this same unfortunate luck."
"Yeah? Well, you tell that to the ‘Dick Benders' of the world."
"Who?" Jane didn’t bother to explain.
"What is the name?"
"Milo." Maura spoke as she looked forward to Jane's reaction.
"Milo," Jane repeated without revealing any emotion. Truth be told, she was taken aback. Since the baby's sex had been revealed in the ultrasound, a little over two months ago, Maura had been bombarding her with innumerous suggestions which Jane had found it difficult to take them seriously. Edgar wasn't so bad when compared to Emile, Eugene, Ralf, Charleston, Bernard or Thaddeus. The worst one ever was Angelo, which Jane had a solid clue of where it had come from. Milo was different however. Milo Isles-Rizzoli. It was not a common name, but Jane did not expect that any of the names that Maura suggested would be. Still, so far, it became the only one that Jane had come to at least consider.
Back into the master bedroom, with Maura in her arms and the lights off, the detective in Jane manifested itself.
“Do you really expect me to believe that baby names were the reason you were awake before the dawn?”
“Well, you know how I feel about unresolved issues."
"I do." Jane inhaled the scent of Maura's hair. Vanilla and coconut. She didn’t have to say much more.
"I had a nightmare." Maura admitted. Jane didn’t reply, just waited. "I know that nightmares are nothing but an emotional response triggered by a stressful situation which are the results of an emotional or psychological discomfort. Still, I felt the need to distract my mind with any other thoughts.”
"You could have woken me. I know one way or two of keeping this big brain of yours busy." Jane said casually, bringing a smile to Maura's lips.
"You needed to rest. It was a long day. Frankie Jr. told me all about the progress of the investigation when he brought me another package from your mother’s cooking for lunch."
"She's still doing that?" Jane said slightly irritated.
"She just wants to make sure that her grandson will come to the world well-fed and healthy. I think that’s a very kind gesture on her part."
"Well, I think that it is annoying. But you know my mother has this effect on me. About the case, Frankie had no business to bother you with this stuff. We already have a radio patrol and as far as I know, he’s not in charge of it. And when it comes to my well being, it surprises me, Doc, that you wouldn’t know that the only way that I can get any rest is with you by my side." Maura sighed, satisfied.
"I'm aware of it. Sorry." Maura dipped her head in Jane's neck and Jane felt her body relax at her touch. The effect is reciprocal.
"Maur?” Jane asked after a few minutes in silence.
"What?"
"What was the nightmare about?"
"Oh, nothing much."
"It was enough to keep you awake."
"I said, dreams are simply reflections of anxiety and stress manifesting itself through the unconscious or even an awkward position during sleep. And that's all they are."
"Ahem. And what has your unconscious been manifesting?"
"Just my fears..." Jane waited and Maura eventually confessed, "of not being there for you and for the baby. Of not being a good mother. Or, at least, not good enough. You know how these things that are instinctive to most women do not come naturally to me."
"Maybe. But I also know that that's the reason why you read so much. And prepares so much. Maur, trust me, this baby could not be in better hands." She kissed Maura gently. - "You gotta know that, right?" - Maura looked uncertain.
"As long as we’re in this together, yes."
"Okay then, there’s no need to lose sleep any longer. In fact, enjoy all the sleep you can get before this baby is born, coz I can guarantee you one thing: I'm not going anywhere." As irrational as a promise like that was, the words were able to appease Maura’s heart. Enough so that Maura wouldn’t question its validity or accuracy.
"And you?"
"Me?" Maura asked, confused.
"Do you promise?" Jane asked yawning, sleep present in her voice. Maura found herself about to challenge the validity of such promise. After all was not possible to establish any kind of assurance about the future when so little is known about it or all the variables able to establish it. The future is uncertain and unpredictable and any statements within the lack of such evidence are simply unwise and invalid. Still, these are not the words that escape from her mouth.
"I promise." - She told Jane, her voice almost a whisper. Entangled in the arms of the detective, Maura felt her body finally surrender to sleep, all her concerns forgotten.
Asleep, Maura didn’t hear it when Jane’s voice manifested itself in the middle of the night. "Milo, huh? Works for me."
-x-
It was Christmas Eve and the traffic was impossible, as expected. They were heading for Jane's parents' house. The pavement was covered by a thin and slippery layer of ice. The stereo was playing Christmas carols. Maura carefully repeated the words, which for an unknown observer could be seen as a simple attempt to dive into the Christmas spirit. Jane, however, knew her better than that.
"Maur, honey, there’s no need for you to memorize these songs."
The impact occurred before Maura’s response had a chance to reach Jane’ ears. When Jane opened her eyes, she had a hard time to understand what the hell just happened. She heard sirens and voices, but all her senses were busy searching for Maura. All she needed was to hear her voice. The world turned upside down and between the broken glass and snow that seemed to be everywhere, Jane’s alert eyes found Maura. When she was able to touch her hand, Jane felt her skin cold from the wind that entered through the broken window and the contact with the freezing ground. She saw the blood that flown off the medical examiner's forehead and her voice shatters the vocal cords as if Jane had swallowed glass.
"Maura," she said her name, but her voice was barely audible. Her hand was about to meet Maura’s face when Jane was pulled out of the car. A lacerating pain caused her to lose track of time and space. When the images gained some focus, Jane saw everything white. There were two people moving over her body and their words were not altogether clear. "Maura," Jane repeated under the oxygen mask before losing consciousness.