Tales Of A Time Agency - 11 A/?
Title: Tales of A Time Agency - 11 A/?
Rating: 15 to NC-17 to be safe.
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Toshiko, Owen, Gwen, Martha, The Doctor
Pairings: Predominantly Jack/Ianto (eventually), but it’s the Time Agency so expect Jack/John, Tosh/Owen, Ianto/John, Tosh/Mary, John/the consenting population of the universe……
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at. Could also include a dash of Doctor Who too.
Summary: Ianto Jones is thrown into the world of excess of the Time Agency Academy, but will he sink or swim? Especially when the enigmatic Jack Harkness starts looking his way…. In this chapter, John discovers that forgetting is harder than he once thought, Toshiko’s “mistake” comes back to haunt her, and the intensity between Jack and Ianto reaches breaking point….
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though.
Author’s Notes: Ok, so I am the worst fic writer in the world. I know and I am very sorry that this chapter is so late, but unfortunately my real life decided to throw tonnes of coursework my way. Either way, here is (finally) more TOATA for your reading pleasure; I hope that you enjoy it! Completely unbeta’d too this one, so any mistakes feel free to yell at me. :) And as always, I adore your comments more than I can say, so if you have the time….well….you know the drill.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five A
Chapter Five B
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight A
Chapter Eight B
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
As usual I have to dedicate my writing to my four amazing writing buddies. So to 2nd_toshiko , who always manages to make me smile whatever my mood and make me giggle beyond belief, to naddypants , who has given me so much confidence in my writing and is a brilliant writer in her own right, to thehubsitter , for listening to all my TOATA ramblings and pretending they make sense, whilst giving me some great advice too, and to morgia , who is the supportive big sister I never had. Thank you all so so much!!
‘And if you're ever around
In the backstreets or the alleys of this town
Be sure to come around
I'll be wallowing in pity
And wearing a frown’
Alcohol. Stoking torment, feeding lust and fuelling anger. It had the capability to open minds, to control lives and even amplify jealousy. If you succumbed to it fully it could intensify desire, spawn anxiety, and accelerate almost any insecurity. But most of all, it could give you a certain kind of freedom from your past, your present and sometimes even your future.
Except right then, alcohol was merely curing the gaping wounds in John Hart’s ego.
The cold light of morning shone down, casting harsh shapes onto frosted apple grass. Ice cold air hung to the tall statuesque buildings, forming soft dew that coated every wall and window. It was all so still, the atmosphere tort around him as John Hart sat, looking out onto the city of Salvana, watching the people below him walk on concrete like mindless ants. He sighed, sucking in a deep breath before throwing back his head, another measure of cool hyper vodka passing down his throat and biting at the soft tissue of his tonsils. Coughing as the bitter liquid moved deeper down into his body; John glanced quickly at the two empty bottles that lay discarded beside him on the roof top floor. He couldn’t help but smile to himself darkly…… shouldn’t be too long now.
Below him, John caught sight of a couple, the man’s arm thrown casually around his partner’s shoulders as they walked on oblivious to everything else around them. He scoffed, if that morning had taught him anything, it was that human emotion was a lie. The most basic instincts, lust, wrath, and fear, they were what was real. He shook his head, draining his third bottle of hyper vodka before throwing it with disgust to the floor, hearing the glass smash and crackle into a pile of crystalline fragments. As the alcohol hit his brain, one man’s image pounded against the walls of his skull, hurtling at his thoughts at a break neck speed. Jack.
Jack fucking Harkness. What made that man so special? John had slept with more people than he cared to remember, and he had fought and lost friends just as frequently……but Jack….Jack was different. Why did he care so much about that morning’s events? Why did hate Jack so much for blaming it all on him, for letting eye candy escape without a warning whilst John was beaten, both physically and verbally for their actions? Why had that punch which had brought the sickening swelling to his lip hurt so much more than any other ever had?
“John?” A soft voice tore into the silence that surrounded him, as John jumped, turning his head to meet with the source of the noise. He looked the figure up and down, before swallowing and turning away, reaching down for a fourth bottle.
“Oh…..it’s you.” He muttered, his voice lavished by distaste.
“You could at least try and sound that little bit more enthusiastic.” Telmaya smiled, taking a tentative step forward and sitting beside him, her dark hair shielding her pale face from view as she too looked out across the city in front of them. “Didn’t fancy going to practice this morning then I take it?”
“Leave it Tel.” John grunted, swigging at the bottle in his hands, downing a hefty measure of it in one go before continuing. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Oh I can see that.” She smirked, attempting to meet his gaze but failing as he turned away. “Rough night?”
“None of your business.”
“I’ll take that as a yes then.” She laughed, although it fell heavy on them both as they sat there. Her pretty purple eyes grazed over John’s features again, her hand hovering near his. “You’re not going to get rid of me like this John…..believe me.”
“And why are you even here?” The other cadet smirked darkly, still not meeting her gaze. “I’m on a rooftop, thought that might have been a slight hint that I wanted to be alone.”
“Because I care. You know that.”
“As if.”
“Come on John…..you know me. I’ve been looking after you and Jack since our first year here.”
“Never asked you to though did we?”
“No…..” She paused, sighing as she swept her hair out from in front of her eyes. “But I’ve had my uses. Who else would have gotten you out of that mess with those twins?”
“Hardly a fair example……they didn’t tell me that their Dad was home…” John couldn’t help but smile in return, shaking his head as he took another gulp of vodka.
“Or the fact that he had a laser rifle…..” Telmaya grinned, taking the bottle from him and sipping at it herself. “Face it John, you owe me.”
“Your point being?”
“Just humour me ok?” She sighed, looking out across the city and then back at John. “What’s fucked you up this time?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Think I’d still be sat here if I didn’t?”
“How the hell am I supposed to know?”
“Gods!” Telmaya shook her head, barely managing to suppress a frustrated groan. “Just tell me! What’s made you like this?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Is it really that hard?”
“Jack alright?” John replied without thinking, unable to look her in the eye, choosing instead to stare intently at the horizon.
“Jack? But how has he-”
“He hates me.” The older man nodded, his eyes blank and without feeling. “Last night I fucked that freshie he’s so interested in. He found out this morning……gave me this.” He indicated towards his split lip.
“And that’s it?” She forced him a smile. “Hardly the first time you two have exchanged blows is it?”
“It was different this time. You didn’t see the way he looked at me…..like I was nothing.” He swallowed hard, finally looking back towards Telmaya. “Why the fuck do I care though Tel? I mean it’s not like I can’t find anyone else…..”
“But they won’t be Jack.” She nodded softly in reply, a tentative hand reaching out and stroking his. “You can admit it John.”
“Admit what?”
“That you love Jack.”
“You’re kidding me!” John scoffed, immediately moving his hand away from her as if she was poisonous. “I don’t. I don’t fall in love.”
“Don’t you?!” Telmaya laughed, forcing him to maintain eye contact with her. “Just think about it for a second…….it all makes sense.”
John turned away in disgust, closing his eyes, yet as he did so two years of memories flooded across his vision. Two years of being with Jack, all their drunken nights at Poseidon, all of their arrogance in training. He could see it all, every kiss, every orgasm, every lightening touch of Jack’s skin against his. They’d always shared that same intensity, even when Jack was forcing John’s head against a wall out of frustration, before pushing him flush against it and pressing their mouths together hard before either of them could even think. And unlike with everyone else, John had never gotten bored of Jack. No matter how many times that talented mouth had sucked and even devoured his skin he had always wanted more, in some cases he had needed more. He’d gotten too used to having the other cadet around, grown too accustomed to his smart mouth making arrogant comments from the other side of the bed, that all knowing look he would give him as he raised his eyebrow at the mention of yet another innuendo. It was all so familiar, and John had to admit that he liked it, liked knowing that he had Jack there even if there was no one else. But never had the idea of love ever even dared to cross his mind. Yet now it was there, and John hated it intensely. Small seeds of doubt, planted inside his own psyche that were now making him question every piece of his relationship with Jack. It was the reason why he refused to fall in love in the first place. Sex in itself was simple, but when you combined it with love, then things would often spiral out of most people’s comprehension.
“You’ve got us all wrong Tel.” John laughed, trying to shrug off the insinuation. “Me and Jack…..we’re not like that.”
“I wasn’t talking about ‘you and Jack’ John…” Telmaya sighed, shaking her head. “I was only talking about you.”
“Ok…..then you’ve got me all wrong. I’m not like that.”
“Like what? Human?”
“You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes.
“I was only trying to answer your question. Why else would you care so much about what happened if you weren’t in love with him?”
“I don’t know.” John shrugged, downing more alcohol as he paused to think. “Maybe it’s just ‘cos he instantly blamed me for it all…….like I’d done it on purpose.”
“And had you?”
“Please….” John gave her an angered look. “I have better things to be doing with my time.”
“Then you’ve found your answer.” Tel nodded, standing up decisively and withdrawing slightly. “You’ll both kiss and make up in no time.”
“Wouldn’t be so sure of that.”
“Don’t be stupid.” She laughed, heading towards the stairwell. “Think about it John, who would be worth losing you and Jack’s friendship over? Really?”
John Hart barely wanted to even contemplate the truth in Telmaya’s words as he threw back what remained of his fourth bottle of vodka…….
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toshiko Sato just could not stop smiling.
It had been two days since that night when she had met Mary, and in many ways those two days had been the longest days of her life. Every waking second, she had spent thinking about the mysterious telepath, and when she wasn’t thinking about her, they were together, sharing soft words and even softer kisses. Over such a short time Toshiko had discovered a connection that she had never felt with any other. She felt safe, secure, loved whenever Mary’s hand was in hers, whenever they laced fingers and stepped out into the world together. She had so much trust in Mary, so many invested hopes and dreams that Toshiko had managed to think of little else over those last two days.
Glancing down at her wrist strap, she checked the time; leaning back against the wall as she did so. Mary was late, but only by five minutes, and even Tosh was aware that training sessions could easily over run. Smiling to herself, Toshiko set about nervously fixing her hair, stroking it flat against her scalp as her hands moved to straighten the collar of her tunic.
“Tosh?” An almost startled voice was there, unnerving and unwelcome. She recognised it instantly, her heart slamming against her rib cage, her eyes clamping shut and refusing to open. No…..not now. Not like this…. “Tosh?” Owen repeated, more deliberately this time, taking a step forward so that she could see him in her peripheral vision. “Don’t ignore me like this….”
“I’m not ignoring you….sir.” Toshiko swallowed, finally turning her head to look at him properly. He may have sounded the same, but as soon as her eyes met his, Tosh knew something was different. His eyes were bleary, his hair tousled and his uniform hanging almost limply from his body. She blinked hard; trying to stop her mind from wondering what was wrong with him, desperately trying to still her own thoughts. After all, he wasn’t her problem anymore.
“Sir? Since when have you called me that?” He gave her a sceptical look.
“Standard protocol when talking to all male commanding officers sir.”
“Tosh….” Owen bit his lip, sounding more frustrated than angry. “Can we drop the act please?”
“What act?”
“Tosh! For fuck’s sake. What is it going to take for you to just talk to me? Normally?”
“You want to talk?” She smiled weakly. “What is there for us to talk about?”
“I made a mistake-”
“No you didn’t.”
“Will you let me finish?” The medic grunted, running a nervous hand through his hair. “I should have explained. I wasn’t clear, and I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted.” Tosh nodded softly, moving away from the wall and edging away from him. “Is that it?”
“No.” Owen shook his head, looking at her intently. “There’s more.”
“How can there be more?”
“Because…….” Owen sighed, his hands hanging limply in mid air as he searched for the right words to use. “I fucking miss you alright?”
“Miss me?”
“Yeah…… You and me, we could talk, you know you’d always listen to me. And now…..” He paused again, taking a deep breath in. “There’s no one.”
“So what?” Tosh spat, her feelings too bitter to show him even a shred of compassion. “This was your choice, not mine.”
“You think I don’t know that?” The doctor shook his head, biting his lip. “I told you, I made a mistake.”
“And now what? You can’t expect me to trust you again Owen. Not after this.”
“I don’t want your trust Tosh, I just want-”
The door in between them opened before Owen could continue, and Mary stepped out, her eyes searching for Toshiko. Immediately she stepped towards her, pulling her into a gentle kiss. But the kiss was awkward, cumbersome as Tosh didn’t have the heart to fully return the gesture in front of Owen. Mary must have sensed this, as she pulled away almost instantly, turning round and with dusky eyes looking at the medic for the first time.
“Is there a problem?” She smiled, taking Tosh’s hand possessively in hers.
“No.” Owen paused, his eyes fixed on their joined hands. “I was just talking to Toshiko…that’s all.”
“Is it?” Mary smirked, raising and eyebrow and glancing at her lover. “Seems as if Tosh has said all she wants to say to you.”
“You don’t know that. Whoever you are.”
“Oh I think I do.” Mary replied confidently, squeezing the other woman’s hand. “Come on Tosh.”
“We’re not finished yet.”
“Yes Owen.” Toshiko blurted out, her eyes moving from one lover to the next in some kind of cycle. “We’re finished.”
“But-”
“You heard her.” Mary nodded, pulling the other woman after her. “You had your chance Owen Harper. And you missed it.”
As Toshiko walked away, she could almost feel Owen’s gaze burning into her back, setting her on edge and making her heart continue to race within her chest. She hated that feeling, hated the fact that a part of her wanted to turn round, to go back to him and to let him finish that sentence. For him to tell her just what he wanted. What she would give for him to say the words she needed to hear the most…… Inwardly sighing, Tosh tightened her grip on Mary’s hand whilst sub consciously raising every mental barrier that she could. After all, she couldn’t afford to let these betraying, confused thoughts reach her young lover. But even though she could shut her emotions away into the deepest reaches of her own mind, Tosh was unable to block them out completely. And she hated feeling like this…..because once again Toshiko was lusting after the destruction of her own perfection…..
Click here for Part B!!!! *curses chapter length....*
Rating: 15 to NC-17 to be safe.
Characters: Jack, Ianto, John Hart, Toshiko, Owen, Gwen, Martha, The Doctor
Pairings: Predominantly Jack/Ianto (eventually), but it’s the Time Agency so expect Jack/John, Tosh/Owen, Ianto/John, Tosh/Mary, John/the consenting population of the universe……
Spoilers: Anything Torchwood could be hinted at. Could also include a dash of Doctor Who too.
Summary: Ianto Jones is thrown into the world of excess of the Time Agency Academy, but will he sink or swim? Especially when the enigmatic Jack Harkness starts looking his way…. In this chapter, John discovers that forgetting is harder than he once thought, Toshiko’s “mistake” comes back to haunt her, and the intensity between Jack and Ianto reaches breaking point….
Disclaimer: Regrettably I own nothing, none of the characters, zip. Wish I did though.
Author’s Notes: Ok, so I am the worst fic writer in the world. I know and I am very sorry that this chapter is so late, but unfortunately my real life decided to throw tonnes of coursework my way. Either way, here is (finally) more TOATA for your reading pleasure; I hope that you enjoy it! Completely unbeta’d too this one, so any mistakes feel free to yell at me. :) And as always, I adore your comments more than I can say, so if you have the time….well….you know the drill.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five A
Chapter Five B
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight A
Chapter Eight B
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
As usual I have to dedicate my writing to my four amazing writing buddies. So to 2nd_toshiko , who always manages to make me smile whatever my mood and make me giggle beyond belief, to naddypants , who has given me so much confidence in my writing and is a brilliant writer in her own right, to thehubsitter , for listening to all my TOATA ramblings and pretending they make sense, whilst giving me some great advice too, and to morgia , who is the supportive big sister I never had. Thank you all so so much!!
‘And if you're ever around
In the backstreets or the alleys of this town
Be sure to come around
I'll be wallowing in pity
And wearing a frown’
Alcohol. Stoking torment, feeding lust and fuelling anger. It had the capability to open minds, to control lives and even amplify jealousy. If you succumbed to it fully it could intensify desire, spawn anxiety, and accelerate almost any insecurity. But most of all, it could give you a certain kind of freedom from your past, your present and sometimes even your future.
Except right then, alcohol was merely curing the gaping wounds in John Hart’s ego.
The cold light of morning shone down, casting harsh shapes onto frosted apple grass. Ice cold air hung to the tall statuesque buildings, forming soft dew that coated every wall and window. It was all so still, the atmosphere tort around him as John Hart sat, looking out onto the city of Salvana, watching the people below him walk on concrete like mindless ants. He sighed, sucking in a deep breath before throwing back his head, another measure of cool hyper vodka passing down his throat and biting at the soft tissue of his tonsils. Coughing as the bitter liquid moved deeper down into his body; John glanced quickly at the two empty bottles that lay discarded beside him on the roof top floor. He couldn’t help but smile to himself darkly…… shouldn’t be too long now.
Below him, John caught sight of a couple, the man’s arm thrown casually around his partner’s shoulders as they walked on oblivious to everything else around them. He scoffed, if that morning had taught him anything, it was that human emotion was a lie. The most basic instincts, lust, wrath, and fear, they were what was real. He shook his head, draining his third bottle of hyper vodka before throwing it with disgust to the floor, hearing the glass smash and crackle into a pile of crystalline fragments. As the alcohol hit his brain, one man’s image pounded against the walls of his skull, hurtling at his thoughts at a break neck speed. Jack.
Jack fucking Harkness. What made that man so special? John had slept with more people than he cared to remember, and he had fought and lost friends just as frequently……but Jack….Jack was different. Why did he care so much about that morning’s events? Why did hate Jack so much for blaming it all on him, for letting eye candy escape without a warning whilst John was beaten, both physically and verbally for their actions? Why had that punch which had brought the sickening swelling to his lip hurt so much more than any other ever had?
“John?” A soft voice tore into the silence that surrounded him, as John jumped, turning his head to meet with the source of the noise. He looked the figure up and down, before swallowing and turning away, reaching down for a fourth bottle.
“Oh…..it’s you.” He muttered, his voice lavished by distaste.
“You could at least try and sound that little bit more enthusiastic.” Telmaya smiled, taking a tentative step forward and sitting beside him, her dark hair shielding her pale face from view as she too looked out across the city in front of them. “Didn’t fancy going to practice this morning then I take it?”
“Leave it Tel.” John grunted, swigging at the bottle in his hands, downing a hefty measure of it in one go before continuing. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Oh I can see that.” She smirked, attempting to meet his gaze but failing as he turned away. “Rough night?”
“None of your business.”
“I’ll take that as a yes then.” She laughed, although it fell heavy on them both as they sat there. Her pretty purple eyes grazed over John’s features again, her hand hovering near his. “You’re not going to get rid of me like this John…..believe me.”
“And why are you even here?” The other cadet smirked darkly, still not meeting her gaze. “I’m on a rooftop, thought that might have been a slight hint that I wanted to be alone.”
“Because I care. You know that.”
“As if.”
“Come on John…..you know me. I’ve been looking after you and Jack since our first year here.”
“Never asked you to though did we?”
“No…..” She paused, sighing as she swept her hair out from in front of her eyes. “But I’ve had my uses. Who else would have gotten you out of that mess with those twins?”
“Hardly a fair example……they didn’t tell me that their Dad was home…” John couldn’t help but smile in return, shaking his head as he took another gulp of vodka.
“Or the fact that he had a laser rifle…..” Telmaya grinned, taking the bottle from him and sipping at it herself. “Face it John, you owe me.”
“Your point being?”
“Just humour me ok?” She sighed, looking out across the city and then back at John. “What’s fucked you up this time?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“Think I’d still be sat here if I didn’t?”
“How the hell am I supposed to know?”
“Gods!” Telmaya shook her head, barely managing to suppress a frustrated groan. “Just tell me! What’s made you like this?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Is it really that hard?”
“Jack alright?” John replied without thinking, unable to look her in the eye, choosing instead to stare intently at the horizon.
“Jack? But how has he-”
“He hates me.” The older man nodded, his eyes blank and without feeling. “Last night I fucked that freshie he’s so interested in. He found out this morning……gave me this.” He indicated towards his split lip.
“And that’s it?” She forced him a smile. “Hardly the first time you two have exchanged blows is it?”
“It was different this time. You didn’t see the way he looked at me…..like I was nothing.” He swallowed hard, finally looking back towards Telmaya. “Why the fuck do I care though Tel? I mean it’s not like I can’t find anyone else…..”
“But they won’t be Jack.” She nodded softly in reply, a tentative hand reaching out and stroking his. “You can admit it John.”
“Admit what?”
“That you love Jack.”
“You’re kidding me!” John scoffed, immediately moving his hand away from her as if she was poisonous. “I don’t. I don’t fall in love.”
“Don’t you?!” Telmaya laughed, forcing him to maintain eye contact with her. “Just think about it for a second…….it all makes sense.”
John turned away in disgust, closing his eyes, yet as he did so two years of memories flooded across his vision. Two years of being with Jack, all their drunken nights at Poseidon, all of their arrogance in training. He could see it all, every kiss, every orgasm, every lightening touch of Jack’s skin against his. They’d always shared that same intensity, even when Jack was forcing John’s head against a wall out of frustration, before pushing him flush against it and pressing their mouths together hard before either of them could even think. And unlike with everyone else, John had never gotten bored of Jack. No matter how many times that talented mouth had sucked and even devoured his skin he had always wanted more, in some cases he had needed more. He’d gotten too used to having the other cadet around, grown too accustomed to his smart mouth making arrogant comments from the other side of the bed, that all knowing look he would give him as he raised his eyebrow at the mention of yet another innuendo. It was all so familiar, and John had to admit that he liked it, liked knowing that he had Jack there even if there was no one else. But never had the idea of love ever even dared to cross his mind. Yet now it was there, and John hated it intensely. Small seeds of doubt, planted inside his own psyche that were now making him question every piece of his relationship with Jack. It was the reason why he refused to fall in love in the first place. Sex in itself was simple, but when you combined it with love, then things would often spiral out of most people’s comprehension.
“You’ve got us all wrong Tel.” John laughed, trying to shrug off the insinuation. “Me and Jack…..we’re not like that.”
“I wasn’t talking about ‘you and Jack’ John…” Telmaya sighed, shaking her head. “I was only talking about you.”
“Ok…..then you’ve got me all wrong. I’m not like that.”
“Like what? Human?”
“You know what I mean.” He rolled his eyes.
“I was only trying to answer your question. Why else would you care so much about what happened if you weren’t in love with him?”
“I don’t know.” John shrugged, downing more alcohol as he paused to think. “Maybe it’s just ‘cos he instantly blamed me for it all…….like I’d done it on purpose.”
“And had you?”
“Please….” John gave her an angered look. “I have better things to be doing with my time.”
“Then you’ve found your answer.” Tel nodded, standing up decisively and withdrawing slightly. “You’ll both kiss and make up in no time.”
“Wouldn’t be so sure of that.”
“Don’t be stupid.” She laughed, heading towards the stairwell. “Think about it John, who would be worth losing you and Jack’s friendship over? Really?”
John Hart barely wanted to even contemplate the truth in Telmaya’s words as he threw back what remained of his fourth bottle of vodka…….
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toshiko Sato just could not stop smiling.
It had been two days since that night when she had met Mary, and in many ways those two days had been the longest days of her life. Every waking second, she had spent thinking about the mysterious telepath, and when she wasn’t thinking about her, they were together, sharing soft words and even softer kisses. Over such a short time Toshiko had discovered a connection that she had never felt with any other. She felt safe, secure, loved whenever Mary’s hand was in hers, whenever they laced fingers and stepped out into the world together. She had so much trust in Mary, so many invested hopes and dreams that Toshiko had managed to think of little else over those last two days.
Glancing down at her wrist strap, she checked the time; leaning back against the wall as she did so. Mary was late, but only by five minutes, and even Tosh was aware that training sessions could easily over run. Smiling to herself, Toshiko set about nervously fixing her hair, stroking it flat against her scalp as her hands moved to straighten the collar of her tunic.
“Tosh?” An almost startled voice was there, unnerving and unwelcome. She recognised it instantly, her heart slamming against her rib cage, her eyes clamping shut and refusing to open. No…..not now. Not like this…. “Tosh?” Owen repeated, more deliberately this time, taking a step forward so that she could see him in her peripheral vision. “Don’t ignore me like this….”
“I’m not ignoring you….sir.” Toshiko swallowed, finally turning her head to look at him properly. He may have sounded the same, but as soon as her eyes met his, Tosh knew something was different. His eyes were bleary, his hair tousled and his uniform hanging almost limply from his body. She blinked hard; trying to stop her mind from wondering what was wrong with him, desperately trying to still her own thoughts. After all, he wasn’t her problem anymore.
“Sir? Since when have you called me that?” He gave her a sceptical look.
“Standard protocol when talking to all male commanding officers sir.”
“Tosh….” Owen bit his lip, sounding more frustrated than angry. “Can we drop the act please?”
“What act?”
“Tosh! For fuck’s sake. What is it going to take for you to just talk to me? Normally?”
“You want to talk?” She smiled weakly. “What is there for us to talk about?”
“I made a mistake-”
“No you didn’t.”
“Will you let me finish?” The medic grunted, running a nervous hand through his hair. “I should have explained. I wasn’t clear, and I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted.” Tosh nodded softly, moving away from the wall and edging away from him. “Is that it?”
“No.” Owen shook his head, looking at her intently. “There’s more.”
“How can there be more?”
“Because…….” Owen sighed, his hands hanging limply in mid air as he searched for the right words to use. “I fucking miss you alright?”
“Miss me?”
“Yeah…… You and me, we could talk, you know you’d always listen to me. And now…..” He paused again, taking a deep breath in. “There’s no one.”
“So what?” Tosh spat, her feelings too bitter to show him even a shred of compassion. “This was your choice, not mine.”
“You think I don’t know that?” The doctor shook his head, biting his lip. “I told you, I made a mistake.”
“And now what? You can’t expect me to trust you again Owen. Not after this.”
“I don’t want your trust Tosh, I just want-”
The door in between them opened before Owen could continue, and Mary stepped out, her eyes searching for Toshiko. Immediately she stepped towards her, pulling her into a gentle kiss. But the kiss was awkward, cumbersome as Tosh didn’t have the heart to fully return the gesture in front of Owen. Mary must have sensed this, as she pulled away almost instantly, turning round and with dusky eyes looking at the medic for the first time.
“Is there a problem?” She smiled, taking Tosh’s hand possessively in hers.
“No.” Owen paused, his eyes fixed on their joined hands. “I was just talking to Toshiko…that’s all.”
“Is it?” Mary smirked, raising and eyebrow and glancing at her lover. “Seems as if Tosh has said all she wants to say to you.”
“You don’t know that. Whoever you are.”
“Oh I think I do.” Mary replied confidently, squeezing the other woman’s hand. “Come on Tosh.”
“We’re not finished yet.”
“Yes Owen.” Toshiko blurted out, her eyes moving from one lover to the next in some kind of cycle. “We’re finished.”
“But-”
“You heard her.” Mary nodded, pulling the other woman after her. “You had your chance Owen Harper. And you missed it.”
As Toshiko walked away, she could almost feel Owen’s gaze burning into her back, setting her on edge and making her heart continue to race within her chest. She hated that feeling, hated the fact that a part of her wanted to turn round, to go back to him and to let him finish that sentence. For him to tell her just what he wanted. What she would give for him to say the words she needed to hear the most…… Inwardly sighing, Tosh tightened her grip on Mary’s hand whilst sub consciously raising every mental barrier that she could. After all, she couldn’t afford to let these betraying, confused thoughts reach her young lover. But even though she could shut her emotions away into the deepest reaches of her own mind, Tosh was unable to block them out completely. And she hated feeling like this…..because once again Toshiko was lusting after the destruction of her own perfection…..
Click here for Part B!!!! *curses chapter length....*