Shadow Ch.11
Title: Shadow
Genre: semi-angst
Rating: nc-17
Pairings: Yoosu, Yunjae in later chapters
Warnings: fluff, semi-angst, mention of rape in later chapters, unbeta-ed
The rain was pouring hard outside, creating a really solemn atmosphere for the man smoking cigarette on his couch. Almost a week ago he told his lover not to come to his house since he would be busy and that was what Junsu did.
Though he said that, he regretted saying it. He missed his sunshine badly.
He knew he was being harsh. Yoochun cancelled almost all their plans lately, contacting his baby less and less, much to his desire to do so. But work is still work. He won’t let Junsu know about what he was doing.
‘I’m done with the shower.’ A woman stepped out of the shower room, calling out to him, breaking the silence. Yoochun looked back at Ji Min, who wore his black shirt which was bigger than her thin frame. ‘Your pants are big you know? I’ll just use the towel.’
‘Uh-uh...’ Yoochun sucked the cigarette one last time before heading towards his bedroom to get a new towel and towards the toilet. A nice hot shower was what he need now.
He felt guilty for leaving his lover, for keeping this secret but it’s for their own sake.
Junsu doesn’t need to know.
‘..chun!.... door..?’ Her voice could barely be heard.
*****
‘Yoochun! The door?’ Ji Min called for the man but there were no response. The doorbell rang a few time, a few more, then rang again but still Yoochun didn’t come out. Thinking that it was important, she peeked through the peephole to see the visitor.
An innocent-looking young man. She opened the door.
‘Yes?’
‘... err...’ the man looked confused, scanning her up and down.
‘You’re looking for Yoochun?’
‘Urmm... yes...’ The man’s voice was very sweet, high-pitched.
‘He’s currently in the shower... Urmm.. Anything I can help you with? You wanna send a message? Sorry I can’t invite you in since it’s not my house...’
The man looked a bit shocked and disappointed, she felt somewhat sorry for him. She looked at the side of the door and noticed some groceries, ‘Owh, you’re Yoochun’s friend?’
There was a long awkward pause before the man finally said brightly, ‘Yup, I’m his classmate... This is Jung Yoochun’s house right?’
‘Classmate? Owh, sorry you must be mistaken. Here’s Park Yoochun.’
‘Owh? Not Cheon Yoochun? Aah! I’m sorry for the bother!’ He quickly grabbed his stuff and walked away unnaturally fast.
‘Cheon? Jung? Which...’
A click sound could be headr, telling her that Yoochun was finally out of the shower.
‘There was a man just now, he mistook your house for a friend. Haha so cute.’
‘Really?’ Yoochun was not interested. Everything was uninteresting. ‘Your clothes, are they done?’
‘Aah, you already put them in the drier? Aah, yup, it’s dry. Thanks Yoochun.’
‘Erm. It’s still raining... Stay here until the rain stops. I’m sleeping for a while.’
‘Thanks.’
*****
Jaejoong browsed through his documents, collection of articles, everything again and again. His hair was tied back by Yuri when they were talking just now, both taking a break from each other’s work. Now Yuri was in the shower while he stayed in the living with every electronics on.
‘Baby, Junsu...’
‘Hurh?’ Jaejoong barely looked back at the lady who was making herself a cup of coffee.
‘Were you even listening? Jae, babe, Junsu.’
‘What bout em?’
‘Ya, listen.’ Yuri sat infront of him, handing the cup of coffee over, ‘listen for a while?’
Jaejoong stopped his browse and finally turned his eyes up towards his lover. There was an unusual frown on her face, staining her bright presence. ‘Everything’s ‘kay?’
‘Remember you telling me they’ve stopped following you?’
‘Yup they did.’
‘And me, they stopped following me too, long ago.’
Jaejoong placed his hands on Yuri’s face, bringing the drooped face up. He somewhat felt uneasy with his usually bubbly lover being this worried. There shouldn’t be any so this really bothered him. ‘It’s great then, right?’
‘No it’s not.’ He stared deeply at Yuri’s eyes. Either Yuri’s crazy for not liking the privacy or...
‘They’re still following Junsu. Didn’t you notice?’
‘Huh? Honey you must be dreaming, I mean, they’ve caught them right? They stopped following him too...’
‘Yaah, how couldn’t you noticed? I’ve been with him for a while compared to you! The same man was always around him.’
‘Junsu? Why would they? Junsu got nothing to do...’ Why WOULD they follow his innocent brother, at least, instead of Yuri? Or himself? Unless they do follow Jaejoong but no, they stopped, he was sure of it. Long time ago. ‘Yaah, Yuri, how can you be so sure...?’
‘I don’t know, I just got the feeling of being watched when I’m with him...’
‘Are WE still...?’
‘I don’t think so. No. We’re not, I’m sure. That’s why I asked...’
Jaejoong looked back at the pile of articles and photos he possessed. He couldn’t look at his worried lover right now, not when he too is confused and left with no answer. Junsu being the only one followed is just wrong in many ways, it’s illogical. There was no answer as to why it happened but obviously it did.
Jaejoong was determined to find out.
*****
2-hour drive to the beach with not a single person talking, Yoochun couldn’t stand the silence. It was disrupting his focus!
‘Junsu... yah!’He looked at the man with his face turning to face the window. Those constantly disappearing fats in Junsu’s cheeks bothered him even more. ‘Yaah! Junsu, stop pretending to be asleep!’
‘...’
Yoochun shook the man again until one eye opened.
‘Are we there yet?’
‘Aish!’ he pinched Junsu’s cheek hard enough to redden it.
‘AAAAHH!’
‘I knew you were pretending to sleep pabo!’
‘You didn’t have to pinch me!’ Junsu made a threatening fist and face, growling at his boyfriend who burst into laughter at the sight.
‘Because you ignored me!’
‘You always ignored me...’ Junsu retorted back, leaving Yoochun to lick his lips in guilt. He realized that fact, that was why he finally brought Junsu to the water park as he promised a few months ago. Though, Junsu didn’t seem as excited as the first time he said it, he felt the need, the responsibility to ensure the younger man take a break from work.
Junsu’s weight had been dropping a lot lately, since the last time he saw the once-chubby man.
He was not as bubbly as before...
‘You hungry baby?’ Yoochun broke the silence when he saw a restaurant sign. ‘Let’s stop for a while.’
‘Are the shops open? It’s still... owh, it’s already 10.’
‘So you’re hungry? Let’s eat!’ before his lover could refuse, Yoochun turned on the radio and hummed along while driving towards the drive-thru. He won’t have his lover feeling down before arriving to the park. He needs Junsu to anticipate the fun they’ll have or the trip today will be of no meaning. After all, this should be a rehabilitation trip for both of them and their relationship.
‘Burger?’
‘You don’t want burger?’
‘It’s been a while...’ they would often eat burger together but it had been months since the last time they ate it together. If Yoochun’s not mistaken, Junsu’s favourite would be chicken and cheese...
‘Chicken and cheese?’ Junsu nodded his head and smiled a bit, warming the cold atmosphere he didn’t noticed was there. Yoochun replied his thanks towards his lover by grinning with all his might, showing his sets of teeth and in a really swift movement, a quick kiss to the forehead.
‘Yaaah! Somebody might see!’
‘Let them, this is our day.’ Yoochun couldn’t give a damn. A new day is just beginning and he would enjoy their day today as much as he can for all the times they missed.
‘How long till we get there?’
‘It’ll feel quicker if you would talk to me.’ Yoochun waited for the car infront of them at the drive-thru. He looked at Junsu at the corner of his eyes and started to smile. Junsu was feeling guilty and now he had started to pout, which he obviously didn’t noticed he was doing.
‘I’ll talk to you until you’re bored to death.’
‘Good, I’ll listen till you’re bored to death. Let’s see who dies first!’ A light punch to the hand and Yoochun knew the ice had melted. Now they can really enjoy today as a couple.
*****
‘What first...?’ Junsu asked his boyfriend though he didn’t expect any answer. This was his first time being to a water park after a very long time, the last time being with his family when he was 12. There are so many slides and rides to choose from, even the slowest, relaxing wave attracted him to the point where he became really confused.
‘That...looks interesting...’ A loud monologue and he felt pressure on his arms.
‘Yaah! We can choose them later, go change first pabo!’
‘Yoochun!!’ By the time he reacted, Yoochun was already running towards the shower room with their stuff so he had no choice but to chase after his lover. Finally, in the changing room with noone except them, he lost sight of Yoochun.
‘Yoochun?’ Junsu felt someone turned him over and pinned him to the wall. It was none other than Yoochun.
‘Yaah, there’s no one we know here, not many people... so... let’s not hide ourselves today okay?’
‘But there are other people...’ Junsu had always been afraid of what others would think about them.
‘Whom we’ll never meet again... Hey, I don’t drive 2 hours for nothing. Today’s our day remember? No hiding.’
‘...’
Yoochun then kissed Junsu, just a peck but the mere peck caused Junsu to blush hard. It was his first time allowing himself to be kissed in public places. Usually Yoochun would be the one stealing or forcing kisses and hugs so today was like his public affection debut.
Time to be themselves.
After changing into their shorts, both men childishly ran towards the first pool they saw. They touched, held and hug each other but no one even cared. Since they did not kissed, people only saw them as crazy friends having fun.
‘Let’s go there!!! The slide!’ Junsu jumped while pointing towards a really high slide and before Yoochun could react, the man was already running upstairs.
‘Yaah!! Come back down here!’’
‘WHY??’
‘It’s too high!’
‘Afraid?’ Again, the duckbutt which could be seen through the wet shorts kept on moving left and right, not stopping even after Yoochun called the owner.
‘Nope! Baby!! Listen! We need that thing, the 8-shaped floaty thing!’
‘CHUNNIE! Go take them!!’ Junsu was already halfway up and he refused to give up this ride no matter what. If he go down now, his lover would probably force him to go somewhere else, it’s so obvious.
‘Let’s play something else!’
‘NO! Let’s ride this one!!! CHUNNIEE~!!’
Yoochun watched the whiny man, one of Junsu’s personality that had been missing for a very long time. For a very long time, it had always been the tough Junsu, so today, he’ll give in to his lover.
‘Fine, wait here! Don’t go anywhere you hear me?’
*****
Junsu stayed right at his spot, as his lover instructed. This very light feeling that he hadn’t felt for a long time... the feeling he desired the most... He felt as if he could take over the world right now. Moreover, his boyfriend was finally by his side. Even after what happened when he came over last time, even after being ignored these past few weeks, Yoochun was here with him.
Yoochun’s absence really affected him more than he knew the man would. Seems like he really is gay after all, loving a man this much, more than he expected, more than he allowed himself to.
‘...oh...juns..!!’ Junsu heard some kind of whisper, as if the person was shocked but wanted to remain unseen. Being the ever so curious person he is, Junsu turned around.
A woman was trying to hide herself behind a big 8-shaped float while making her way downwards.
‘Hrmm? Who’s there?’ Junsu made his way down, following the tiptoeing woman. ‘Hello?’
The woman stopped, sensing that she was being followed and that her escape would be unsuccessful after all. She turned.
‘Jessica? Omo!’
‘Junsu! Hi!’ An awkward, guilty smile curved up her face. She looked around, confirming something before continuing, ‘Listen, you’re here alone right? No other reporter or paparazzi?’
Junsu actually burst out laughing, listening to her tone. She sounded like a drug dealer selling coke in an alleyway. ‘Yaah! Of course I’m alone!’
‘Oh.’ She sighed a relief, ‘Eyh..? Then, what’re you doing here alone? No work, reporter Kim?’
‘I’m here with my boyfrie-... bestfriend! We... ermm... we’re just here for fun. You? What’re you doing here alone??’
‘Alone? No, no I’m not alone! I’m with my friend. She’s waiting at the top!’
‘A lady?? Hot one?’ Junsu asked jokingly. Jessica is probably one of the very few women he is close with, though they only communicate with each other through messaging.
‘What? You want me to introduce you? Haha!!’
‘A pretty one??’
‘Pretty. Probably more than me... Owh owh, don’t make that face Junsu!’ Jessica punched Junsu’s arms. ‘De, where’s your friend? A guy right?’
‘Owh, yeah Yoochun. He, he went a while ago to take that thing.’
‘This?’
‘Yup.’
‘Eeeyyhhh.... your friend. He’s hot?’
Junsu thought for a while. Yoochun IS hot, he’s handsome... but would Jessica discover about them if he tell her so? ‘Hrmm... I dunno. He IS popular with ladies though...’
‘Really?? Single?’
Single...? What should he say?
‘Why do you ask? Finally giving up on Choi?’
‘NEVER! HAHA! My friend, she needs a boyfriend ASAP. She’s starting to hate men now, after her break up. OMO! Don’t tell her I told you that!!’
Junsu only laughed. Jessica is really a funny woman, easy to get along with. Plus, now he knows she have a hot body...shit.
‘Speaking of Choi, wanna see his picture? I took it secretly last time... hehehe. I’ll show you later.’
Owh. That’s great! Finally revealing the faceless, mysterious Mr. Choi. This could be the key to Jaejoong work! ‘What? You took it secretly??’
‘What? So I can see him everyday!’ Jessica laughed shyly. Cute.
*****
Yoochun finally got the float, after a long way running towards the only one place they place them. Actually he was taking his time, hoping that Junsu would give up the ride. He don’t fancy high place.
From far, he heard a woman’s voice, a quiet deep voice. Seeking the owner, his eyes locked on a lady on top of the slide he was making his way towards.
He travelled his eyes down towards the stairs, towards where his lover stood the moment he went away only to find another woman with a curvy body hanging around his Junsu.
...
Better make his way there fast.
Better keep his cool.
Keep cool.
‘Junsu.’
‘Aah?’ The lady turned her head at the same time Junsu turned his. What a good chemistry they have. Pfft.
‘New friend?’ Yoochun tried hard to keep his hands of Junsu. He really wanted to pull his boyfriend towards his side, no, to hide Junsu behind him.
‘Owh! Yoochun!! This is the one I talked to you about!’ Junsu excitedly introduced Yoochun to the woman. Yoochun, in turn, looked at her.
...
God. Hot body, nice face... damn you Junsu. ‘Hey, Yoochun.’
‘Jessica.’ She smiled. The name really sound familiar.
‘You two just met?’
‘Nope! I mean yes, we just met but we knew each other way back.’ Junsu explained. ‘She’s the new Jung president.’
‘Owh? So you’re the young beauty they’ve been talking about? Wow, nice to finally see you in person!’ Yoochun eyed Junsu who was smiling, happy to see them getting along. Sigh... since Junsu was this happy, what the hell? Just one thing to confirm though, above anything, ‘What’re you doing here? Date with your lover?’
‘Lover?? No, no. I’m still single, though...’ she smiled alone. Cute, he thought. Then, he heard Junsu laughing.
‘She’s crazy about this one guy who-‘ Junsu’s voice was quickly muffled by Jessica’s hands which found their way towards the man’s mouth. She too, laughed shyly.
‘FRIEND! I’M WITH MY FRIEND! YOONA!’
‘Yes?’ Yoochun then heard the same voice he heard a while back. The deep one. Before long, a woman made her way towards them. Body? Too skinny for his taste. Face? Pure beauty.
‘Yoona!! Omo, I’m sorry!! This guys... Aish!’
‘Ohoho,’ she laughed at her silly friend. A smile was directed towards the two men before Yoona introduced herself formally.
Yoochun smiled back. He looked back at Junsu who was laughing his heart out.
Maybe it would be more fun if the four of them play together anyway...
*****
Of course he was having fun.
Just that one thing is bothering him...
How Yoochun seemed to be close to Yoona. Too close for comfort.
Or maybe it’s just his feeling. The girls seemed to be in contact with him more often than they do Yoochun but somehow, he couldn’t get his feeling to rest.
Maybe it was because what he saw a few days back, who knows?
And then there’s Jessica who thought Yoochun was just his ‘friend’ and said Yoona was enjoying her time with Yoochun. How they seemed suitable with each other.
Sigh.
Anyhow, lets stop thinking about it. Lets just enjoy today.
*****
Like they say, time does fly when you’re having fun.
The one day the couple stop thinking about work is finally ending and they only felt as if they just had lunch. Only when the sky turned dark blue did they realized it was time to go back.
Yoochun bid his goodbye to their new friends and went started the engine. Beside him, Junsu kept on smiling, up until they lose sight of the girls. He stared at his handsome boyfriend lovingly.
Yoochun felt his face getting hotter while his mouth started to curl upward involuntarily, ‘What?’
‘Thanks for today Chunnie.’
Eyes on the road, ‘Anything babe.’ He pointed at his cheek, signaling Junsu to kiss him.
Then he heard a slight chuckle, a satisfied sigh and silence.
Silence which he didn’t mind.
It was not the awkward silence, not the uncomfortable silence. It was the satisfied silence where both were reminiscing today, storing and arranging them in each of their memory.
Next, Yoochun had been thinking about this. Eversince he met Junsu, even when Junsu refused, he never stopped thinking. Today could be the day he gets lucky. His boyfriend seemed to want it too, so why not?
‘My place.’
‘Hrmm?’
‘Tonight. I miss having you lying next to me... My place.’
Yoochun was expecting an ‘unh’ or ‘okay’ but nothing was heard. Slowly he could feel the atmosphere getting tense though he had no idea why.
‘Junsu?’
‘I’ll... just go home tonight...’
‘Huh?’
‘You’re busy right? With work...’ the last two words were barely audible, but Yoochun was not comfortable with Junsu’s tone. It was as if there was another reason why.
‘Uhhn...uhm. I’ll be busy, right...’ Yoochun sighed inwardly. He couldn’t deny it as he was, Junsu was right, but after a while of separation, he at least wanted his lover’s presence near him when he closes his eyes tonight.
Awkward silence.
‘Junsu?’
‘Hrmm?’
‘Are you tire-‘ Suddenly a loud horn sound could be heard and the car became really bright. In an instant, Yoochun turned the car to the left to avoid any accident. A big truck just passed by them. After confirming nothing happened, Yoochun drove back normally.
It was really weird, they were actually on the right lane so the truck was the one at fault. Which such bright and high headlight, Yoochun could really take action if only he could see the number plate.
...
Oh shit, Junsu.
Yoochun turned his head to look at his lover who was making a fist with both his hands while a deep frown was obvious on his face. He closed his eyes tightly and opened them again, gulping quietly, afraid that the older man would notice.
‘... that was close...’
‘...’ he could hear the sound of Junsu breathing, ‘er, urm... yeah... heh.’
‘I’m sure we were on the right lane though...’
‘Ermm...’
Then, another horn sound, and again there was a really bright light blinding them both. Again, Yoochun tried to avoid the truck.
‘Shit!! WHAT THE HELL??!’
Yoochun looked at the mirror to see the number plate but he noticed there was none. Not that he couldn’t see or anything, there was really nothing.
‘Are you okay Junsu?’
Beside him, Junsu was already hugging himself tightly, trying to hide his face inside his folded arms. His eyes too were tightly closed. Yoochun continued to drive while waiting for a reply but there was none. All he could hear was heavy breathing and Junsu’s gap for air.
Yoochun slowed the car down to stop at the side.
‘Don’t stop, just drive.’
‘But...’
‘I’m okay. Nothing big. Please, just send me home... Yoochun.’
With a worried look, Yoochun agreed. Although the accident was a few years back, sometimes, like times like these, Junsu would be reminded of the moment before the truck hit his car back then. Although his lover wouldn’t show it, it was so obvious.
‘I’ll drive more carefully. Sorry Su...’ Something was fishy...
Just as he started the engine, the same thing happened again. One more large truck did the same thing and this time, Yoochun was really sure there was no number plate. He was sure someone was up to something, scaring them. He was really sure because they were still stopping at the side.
‘WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!’ he was really at his limit. Three times, three times is too much. Checking his lover, he noticed Junsu was gone.
He could hear Junsu vomiting outside and the man was on his knees. He was shaking, his forehead filled with cold sweat. He knew Junsu wouldn’t allow his help so eventhough he really wanted to, he stood at a distance while watching his boyfriend threw his lunch out.
‘I’m... I...’
‘Let’s just get inside. I’ll drive home quickly okay?’ Yoochun held his lover’s shoulder, supporting and showing his weak body the way to the car. Junsu was really shivering hard.
‘Junsu, sleep...’
‘No, no. I’m okay. Don’t mind me.’
‘I’ll lower the-‘
‘I’m okay! I’m just... cold...’
‘*sigh* Here, my jacket... And here, earphones.’ Yoochun gave them to Junsu and made sure the man was completely deaf towards other sound, in case the trucks would come again.
With his hands still shivering, Junsu switched his phone on to distract himself from the trauma and also to ensure his lover that he was fine. It was hard since his fingers couldn’t seem to place themselves correctly at the keys but after a few tries he managed to open a message from Jessica.
“Hey, I forgot to show you the picture!!! Promise me not to use it in your work!! Here :)”
Choi... Siwon.
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