[drabble] To Kiss a Devil
Title: To Kiss a Devil
Author:
junjun_pon
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack, humor
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys!
Summary: Ohno wants to further his relationship with the cute devil, Kazu-chan.
a/n: Thank you to the wonderful lilisan31 who requested this piece!
Previous Installments in "A Guide for the Care and Keeping of Devils"
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[To Catch]| [To Bathe]
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1.) Flatter the devil
Ohno Satoshi sits on a barstool in the kitchen and searches online for relationship tips while his cute devil companion, Kazu-chan, sleeps undisturbed on Ohno’s bed. Ohno begins typing things such as “How do I further my relationships?” and “How to kiss another man.”
“That’s it,” Ohno says, “I’ll teach him to kiss.”
Kazu-chan wakes up groggy and wanders out to Ohno, draping himself against Ohno’s back dramatically. His tail curls around Ohno’s arm, keeping him steady.
“I’m bored,” the devil complains.
“Go find something to do,” Ohno replies, trying to peel the devil off his back. “You’re too warm, I’m sweating.” Ohno hands him a box of Pocky and the devil slides off Ohno’s back. He disappears, only to poof back on the couch. Ohno looks at his computer screen again. He decides to kiss the cute devil. Ohno shuts his computer and sits on the couch next to Kazu-chan.
“Ne, you’re such a cute devil,” Ohno says, slathering as much sweetness into his words as he can. The devil ignores him.
He tries again. “Ne, you’re such a cute, naughty devil,” he says, “I bet you’re the naughtiest, cutest devil in hell!”
Kazu-chan turns to Ohno with a toothy grin. “You really think so? Well I did get all F’s in devil school…” the devil purrs looking off to the side slyly. The cute devil’s tail rests on Ohno’s shoulder.
Human 1: Devil 0
2.) Request a kiss
“Do you want to kiss?” Ohno asks boldly.
The cute devil smiles, “What is kiss?”
“It’s what two people do when they like each other,” Ohno replies.
The devil frowns, “We don’t kiss, we bite.” Kazu-chan shows Ohno his little devil teeth.
“No, no, don’t bite. Kisses are nice,” Ohno says.
“Bites are nice,” the devil says, trying to nibble on Ohno’s arm.
Ohno pushes him away. “No biting. I’ll teach you to kiss then…” He blushes and the cute devil stares at him curiously.
“Okay,” the devil replies.
Human 2: Devil 0
3.) Teach the devil to kiss
Seeing as this is a good opportunity to get closer to his devil companion, Ohno makes up the rules because Kazu-chan doesn’t know any better.
“First you have to sit on my lap,” Ohno says slyly. The cute devil sits sideways on Ohno’s lap, munching on a piece of Pocky.
“No, no, you need to sit on my lap facing me,” Ohno says, waiting patiently. The devil turns his body to straddle Ohno’s lap. He sits down, his tail still resting on Ohno’s shoulder for balance because his hands were busy with Pocky.
“Good, now in order to kiss you need to pucker your lips like this,” Ohno says. He gives the cute devil an example that is obnoxious. Kazu-chan just stares blankly.
“You try,” Ohno says, resting his hands on the devil’s narrow hips.
The cute devil Kazu-chan opens his mouth and shows his teeth once again. “Like this?”
Ohno shakes his head, “Not even close. No biting. No teeth…just lips.” Ohno reaches up and pulls gently on the devil’s bottom lip, earning a bite on his thumb. Ohno recoils and hisses.
“I said no biting!” he yells, nursing his bitten thumb.
The devil’s eyes turn red and his teeth grow big, “RAWR I WAS KISSING RAWR!”
Ohno, all too accustomed to the cute devil’s outbursts, just stares at him not caring one bit. “No, you weren’t. You bit me, idiot…”
The devil turns back to normal and gives Ohno an innocent look, “Sorry…” The look turns deadly, “…but not sorry.” The devil closes his eyes and huffs, a small puff of smoke coming from his lips.
Ohno takes the opportunity to plant a gentle kiss on the cute devil’s lips.
Human 3: Devil 0
4.) Fend him off
Ohno lies in bed that night, trying to fall asleep. He hears rustling and something crawling in his bed like every night.
“Kazu-chan…”
The devil sneaks up in the dark and gives Ohno little pecks on the lips repeatedly, warranting Ohno to push him off. “Enough! I’m trying to sleep.”
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Ohno eats a bowl of cereal in the morning while reading the daily newspaper. The TV is on in the background to babysit the cute devil for a while. It is strangely silent; there is no munching of Pocky to be heard.
“Kazu-chan…?”
Ohno turns around only to be greeted by a kiss from the cute devil. The devil is so happy that his thin tail whips around and knocks Ohno cereal bowl to the floor, shattering it. He pulls the cute devil away at arm length, the whip-like tail wrapping around his arm tightly.
“Kazu-chan. You cannot kiss people without asking,” Ohno explains, “It’s rude.”
“But I like rude,” the devil says.
“Ask next time,” Ohno says prying the devil’s tail off his arm.
The devil looks flustered, “Can we kiss?”
“No.”
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Ohno is in the middle of a relaxing bath.
“Can we kiss now?” the cute devil says, sitting on the edge of the tub.
“No.”
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Ohno tries to settle into bed when, right on cue, the devil comes in through the darkness and climbs into the bed. He grips onto Ohno’s side with his nails like every night and whispers, “Can we kiss now?”
Ohno whispers back, “No…”
The cute devil huffs again, a little puff of smoke escaping his lips.
Human 4: Devil 0
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a/n: Thank you for reading!
If you have any requests of things you may want to see in future releases (ex: how to feed a devil, how to bathe a devil, etc.), please leave a comment :D