Comments | jump100: [Hikaru no Go] On a Street in Innoshima

tarigwaemir in jump100

[Hikaru no Go] On a Street in Innoshima

Jun 30, 2005 19:11

Title: On a Street in Innoshima
Author: tarigwaemir
Series: Hikaru no Go
Word Count: 439
Challenge: "Listen! For I tell you a mystery: we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed."
Notes: What a difficult challenge! I had to alter it considerably, and I didn't manage to include the last phrase. >_< I won't, by the way, be able to issue the next ( Read more... )

challenge 12: quote, series: hikaru no go

Comments 13

issen4 July 1 2005, 01:19:24 UTC

"How gloomy!" Shindou exclaims and sets down a stone.

I don't really know why this line struck me as so significant, but the moment I read it, it made this entire fic come alive just that bit more, upping it from "nice" to "cool". I love the everyday pacing you have here, the comfortable friendship between Hikaru and Akira, right down to the ordinariness of their day together. Very smoothly put together.

tarigwaemir July 1 2005, 13:14:36 UTC

To tell the truth, I rewrote that bit of dialogue about ten times, so I'm relieved that the final version came out all right. XD Really glad you liked it. Thanks so much for the rec, by the way!

murinae July 1 2005, 02:57:54 UTC

Ohhhhhhh .... *_* I saw Issen4's rec and came over, and I am now reminded that I should join this community or bug you to post a link in your normal journal. So I think I might do both. Dude, I'm missing out on your fics, aren't I? *stares mournfully ( ... )

tarigwaemir July 1 2005, 13:17:58 UTC

Oh, I didn't post a link in my journal yet because I got distracted by a book after posting the fic and didn't go back online. ^_^;; But wah, Muri liked my fic! <3 It's all of course due to you because your latest fic has made me itch to write Hikago myself. XD

inkanaitis July 1 2005, 03:16:56 UTC

I was sent here by issen4, and I have to say that she's right. I really liked the ordinariness of this piece and its beauty. I like how remembrances of Sai have become just another part of the day.

"He picks up a stone and hesitates, distracted by a childhood memory of building sand castles at a beach. He shakes his head and looks back down at the board; there are new castles to be built here." I like this line.

tarigwaemir July 1 2005, 13:19:42 UTC

Thanks! That's exactly the idea I wanted to capture, and I'm glad it worked. ^_^

svz_insanity July 1 2005, 03:29:05 UTC

The ending is perfect. ^_^ I like how subtle the fic is, but yet it has a lingering effect.

tarigwaemir July 1 2005, 13:20:18 UTC

Yay, I'm glad you liked it! That last line took a bit of work, so I'm relieved to hear it works. ^_^

tekalynn July 1 2005, 04:13:45 UTC

Beautiful.

tarigwaemir July 1 2005, 13:20:26 UTC

Thank you!