Animal Kingdom
Title: Animal Kingdom
Pairing: Daehyun/Youngjae
Rating: PG
Summary: Youngjae would like to know whether he or Daehyun would 'top' in their relationship, so naturally he asks robot Zelo who the logical choice would be.
Notes: Doesn't everyone want to know? :') P.S. image not mine lol it's hard to find daejae images........
“Battery at one-hundred percent.”
“Good.” Youngjae pulled the maknae out of his charging pod, dragging him into the kitchen. “I have a dilemma and I'm pretty sure your logistics and computer stuff can figure it out because I can't.”
Zelo smiled brightly, “There is a ninety-five percent chance I can solve your inquiry.”
Youngjae pushed Zelo to sit down in a chair, and then folded his arms over his chest. His lips pursed in thought, and Zelo just stared happily up at him.
“Ok,” Youngjae lifted a hand and let out a breath, looking like he had thought these words over for hours. And surely he had, right? Because Youngjae was a smart alien and it must surely be an impossibly difficult problem if he couldn't figure it out, right? Zelo teetered on the edge of his seat in excitement. “In my and Daehyun's relationship, who should top?”
Blink, blink.
“Does not compute. You are not asking a question that registers,” Zelo said mechanically, his brows furrowing a bit.
Youngjae started to wring his hands. “I mean - ok. So we've been together a while, I mean, you know that... you know? You have to know.” He laughed awkwardly. “Maybe you don't. You see, Zelo, when two aliens like each other-,”
Zelo wrinkled his nose, his ears twitching a bit, the early signs of a system overload. Youngjae must have seen this, because he waved his hands frantically and brushed all of what he said aside, taking another breath.
“Guess I have to explain this as... methodically as possible.”
Zelo's smile widened. “That would be ideal for my processors to help formulate a solution.”
“So...” Youngjae sat down opposite of Zelo, wiggling his forefinger around on the surface of the kitchen table. “When, eventually, Daehyun and I have... sex... I want to know which one of us should top?”
Blink, blink. Slower this time.
Youngjae waited, but when he got no response, he tilted his head. “Do you know what that means?”
“You are the smaller of the two, it would be logical for the one who weighs less to be on top to avoid any injury.” Zelo replied, feeling his system trying to reach out for other answers. That one seemed to be the most logical. But his non-robot sensors told him Youngjae was looking for a different type of answer.
“...” Youngjae licked his lips, slightly anxious. “No no. I mean who would top. Sexually. Who would -” Zelo tilted his head. “If Daehyun and I were in the animal kingdom, which one of us would be the dominant one?”
Zelo smiled brightly. Now that made sense! “On Earth, in the animal kingdom the flashy, strong and courageous male attracts a weaker potential mate with displays of strength and power, sometimes fighting other males for the attention of the mate. In some classifications males even go so far as to kill each other in order to breed with a mate.” He lifted a finger, tilting his head as if he were thinking, when really the data was just running around in his processor and making its way to his mouth. “The less flashy, weaker mate, usually the female, will watch the display of dominance and then choose which male has struck her fancy. Thus the role of dominant male and submissive female is created.”
Youngjae smiled. “Ok! So, in my and Daehyun's relationship, who is the dominant and who is the submissive?”
“You are the submissive,” Zelo pointed at Youngjae, and then made the next logical choice, according to his statistical processor. “And Yong Guk hyung is the dominant!”
Youngjae slouched and thunked his head on the table, groaning loudly. “THAT DOESN'T HELP.”
As soon as his sensors felt the irritation rippling from the older boy's frame, Zelo seized up. “Shut down, sorry.~”
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Pairing: Daehyun/Youngjae
Rating: PG
Summary: Youngjae would like to know whether he or Daehyun would 'top' in their relationship, so naturally he asks robot Zelo who the logical choice would be.
Notes: Doesn't everyone want to know? :') P.S. image not mine lol it's hard to find daejae images........
“Battery at one-hundred percent.”
“Good.” Youngjae pulled the maknae out of his charging pod, dragging him into the kitchen. “I have a dilemma and I'm pretty sure your logistics and computer stuff can figure it out because I can't.”
Zelo smiled brightly, “There is a ninety-five percent chance I can solve your inquiry.”
Youngjae pushed Zelo to sit down in a chair, and then folded his arms over his chest. His lips pursed in thought, and Zelo just stared happily up at him.
“Ok,” Youngjae lifted a hand and let out a breath, looking like he had thought these words over for hours. And surely he had, right? Because Youngjae was a smart alien and it must surely be an impossibly difficult problem if he couldn't figure it out, right? Zelo teetered on the edge of his seat in excitement. “In my and Daehyun's relationship, who should top?”
Blink, blink.
“Does not compute. You are not asking a question that registers,” Zelo said mechanically, his brows furrowing a bit.
Youngjae started to wring his hands. “I mean - ok. So we've been together a while, I mean, you know that... you know? You have to know.” He laughed awkwardly. “Maybe you don't. You see, Zelo, when two aliens like each other-,”
Zelo wrinkled his nose, his ears twitching a bit, the early signs of a system overload. Youngjae must have seen this, because he waved his hands frantically and brushed all of what he said aside, taking another breath.
“Guess I have to explain this as... methodically as possible.”
Zelo's smile widened. “That would be ideal for my processors to help formulate a solution.”
“So...” Youngjae sat down opposite of Zelo, wiggling his forefinger around on the surface of the kitchen table. “When, eventually, Daehyun and I have... sex... I want to know which one of us should top?”
Blink, blink. Slower this time.
Youngjae waited, but when he got no response, he tilted his head. “Do you know what that means?”
“You are the smaller of the two, it would be logical for the one who weighs less to be on top to avoid any injury.” Zelo replied, feeling his system trying to reach out for other answers. That one seemed to be the most logical. But his non-robot sensors told him Youngjae was looking for a different type of answer.
“...” Youngjae licked his lips, slightly anxious. “No no. I mean who would top. Sexually. Who would -” Zelo tilted his head. “If Daehyun and I were in the animal kingdom, which one of us would be the dominant one?”
Zelo smiled brightly. Now that made sense! “On Earth, in the animal kingdom the flashy, strong and courageous male attracts a weaker potential mate with displays of strength and power, sometimes fighting other males for the attention of the mate. In some classifications males even go so far as to kill each other in order to breed with a mate.” He lifted a finger, tilting his head as if he were thinking, when really the data was just running around in his processor and making its way to his mouth. “The less flashy, weaker mate, usually the female, will watch the display of dominance and then choose which male has struck her fancy. Thus the role of dominant male and submissive female is created.”
Youngjae smiled. “Ok! So, in my and Daehyun's relationship, who is the dominant and who is the submissive?”
“You are the submissive,” Zelo pointed at Youngjae, and then made the next logical choice, according to his statistical processor. “And Yong Guk hyung is the dominant!”
Youngjae slouched and thunked his head on the table, groaning loudly. “THAT DOESN'T HELP.”
As soon as his sensors felt the irritation rippling from the older boy's frame, Zelo seized up. “Shut down, sorry.~”
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