[fic] Kaoru/Shinya - Dir en grey - Night in Boy - Ch2
Title: Night in Boy
Chapters: 2/? Part I
Author: evespikey
Genre: Angst, drama
Ratings: PG-13 this chapter
Pairings/Characters: KaoruXShinya
Warnings: Violence, drug use
Summary: Kaoru and Shinya are lovers, but Kaoru has a violent temper. Toshiya is Shinya's older brother and seeks Kyo’s help, but Kyo knows more than he’s letting on.
Die put his hand over Toshiya's kindly, and Toshiya, feeling this gentle contact, slipped his fingers into Dies. Inside he felt a little calmer. Everything had been so surreal lately, it was a little like the ghost stories him and his friends had imagined and told around candlelight fire, frightening the weak ones. Lately life, if he could call it that, -recent events, anyway- had been so surreal. If Toshiya had been asked to imagine torture, some of this would appeared in his imagination. Kyo wrote abour the wildest things imaginable, but the difference between this and Kyo's lyrics -the reason why Kyo was such a fascinating man- was the very fact that these things never actually happened. Rape, torture, suicide- it was all stories, dreams portrayed. Toshiya felt cheated out of his dreams tonight. The world of violence had broken into reality, like 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' and Die's hand clasped around his felt like a safe shield. Toshiya could feel strength in those fingers, in the guitarist's rough hands.
Soon the two had climbed another flight of stairs and Die was pushing up a hatchet which he stuck his head through.
"Here we are!"
Die looked round at Toshiya with a friendly smile. Toshiya looked through the hatchet and saw Kyo on his knees across the attic-room packing many boxes containing the same thing. Toshiya wondered what it was.
"Kyo."
Kyo responded by swiftly hurrying Toshiya through the hatch and shutting it safely behind him, pulling the bolt without a sound.
"Careful."
Toshiya didn't know if Kyo directed this at him, but Die replied with an "as always."
"Glad to hear it," Kyo said sharply, striding to a desk pushed against the wall of the loft room and wiping his hands on a rough cloth. Toshiya surveyed the room he was in. This was apparently the attic at the top of Kyo's house. There was a sky-light window, but this had been blacked out. In fact, Toshiya noticed that there was no sound being carried into the room either, and very little light. It was more than a little strange.
"Toshiya..."
Kyo turned to Toshiya, brows furrowed. Toshiya quickly dropped his daydreams and turned his attention to the shorter man with at least as much respect you could give a 5 foot tall blonde man after passing out on his doorstep and being woken up in his spare bed near-naked. Suddenly Toshiya noticed Die was standing at his side.
"He's alright." Die said, striding over to Toshiya and slipping an arm around his waist. Toshiya let some of his weight rest on Die, and looked at Kyo. Kyo looked angry.
"No he's not!"
The vocalist spoke quietly, but with anger. There was a pause, while the blonde and redhead stared daggers at each other. Toshiya felt Die's hands tighten over his waist, and he looked unsurely at Die. Die seemed to have all his attention focused on Kyo, so Toshiya guessed it was merely because he was tense. After some moments of silence, or in Die and Kyo's case, silent conflict-
"I'll just...go, then..."
Toshiya's quiet voice broke the angry stares between Kyo and Die. They both turned to look at Toshiya.
"Thanks for putting me up for the night, Kyo," he said hesitently.
"It's not even morning yet!" Die protested, holding Toshiya's slim waist tighter.
"It's okay, Kaoru won't...oh!"
Toshiya's eyes widened as he remembered the reason he had so abrubtly and prematurely forced himself out of the bed Kyo had laid him in, and started.
-------------------
Shinya woke that morning to the noise of the bush warbler making its trills outside his window. To most people it would have been a pleasant sound but to Shinya it sounded like an alarm or a warning. He swung his long legs onto the floor over the side of the futon he shared with Kaoru, and went to the window. The morning sun was just beginning to come up over the horizon, and it lit up the sky with a pale evanescent glow. The light illuminated the mist that covered the Ginkgo trees in the distance, making the dew on their branches shine. Shinya could see more birds sitting on the sakura tree that threatened to dominate the view of his neighbour’s flats, chirping. Too late, he told the birds, you’re too late. The birds refused to listen and continued to open their beaks at him as if in earnest. Now is the time, they said, get up, they said.
Shinya moved away from the window.
Shinya’s lover lay on his back with one arm closed across his chest, the other out to the side, as if expecting someone to be lying in the v-shape of his elbow. Shinya felt that he should fill it. Shinya felt a lot of things but he never knew if they were right or wrong. He loved Kaoru, the man lying in that bed; and Toshiya said that was wrong. He loved Toshiya, his older brother, and Kaoru said that was wrong. Who was right? Kaoru said that Toshiya was jealous of what they had and wanted to ruin it. Toshiya said that Kaoru hurt him and that anyone who loved you wouldn’t do that. Shinya looked down at the bruise marks on his wrist. Kaoru never meant to hurt him. Kaoru loved him. Sometimes when Kaoru was angry, he punished Shinya, but that was Shinya’s fault. Shinya knew what made him angry and it was Shinya’s fault for making him angry. That was what Kaoru said. It all made sense when he was with Kaoru.
Maybe Kaoru was right and Toshiya was jealous of what they had. Kaoru said Toshiya didn’t want them to be happy together. Toshiya said the opposite: they weren’t happy; how could you be happy when your partner was hurting you? Shinya said he was wrong, Kaoru loved him and when he hurt Shinya, he always apologized afterwards. Everyone makes mistakes, he told Toshiya, and people need a second chance. If Kaoru was sorry, and Shinya knew he was, then that was all that mattered. Kaoru always made everything right again. Last night, after Toshiya had gone, Kaoru had taken Shinya in his arms. He’d said that he had done what he needed to do, that Toshiya was threatening their love and that it would be better if Shinya just didn’t see his brother anymore. I’m the one who protects you now, Kaoru had said. Shinya knew this, but there was a thought at the back of his brain: What did Kaoru need to protect him from? He knew Kaoru would have the answer. Kaoru always did. Toshiya said that love shouldn’t cause bruises on your arms. But Toshiya was naïve. Love hurts.
-------------------
Toshiya started.
“Kyo! It’s Kaoru.“
“Run out, has he?” Said Kyo, sounding slightly sarcastic.
“What?” Toshiya frowned, confused, and looked to Die for illumination. Die was frowning too, but under his frown was a dark look directed at Kyo.
“…on your brother. Has he run out on your brother?” Kyo continued.
Toshiya couldn’t help but feel Kyo’s sentence ended up in a different place than it started out. He decided to get straight to the point.
“He did this to me, Kyo.”
There was a silence in the room.
“What.” Kyo’s voice came out low but clear.
Toshiya explained. “Last night. I went over there because I’ve barely been able to see Shinya since he moved in with Kaoru, and when I do see him he’s covered in bruises. He hides them, but I know they’re there. He’s not doing it to himself, I’ve lived with him since the day he was born; I know Kaoru’s hurting him. He’s been beating him up. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know how bad. I need your help Kyo.”
“See!” Die’s voice came out loud and aggressive. He gestured at Kyo with his cigarette. “This is what I told you, if you hadn’t-“
“Die.” said Kyo, and it sounded like a warning.
Die ignored it. “This is your fault, Kyo.”
Kyo said nothing. The two men were glaring at each other. Kyo looked as if the next noise he was going to let out would be a growl. Die looked at him with pure dislike. For the second time since being taken to the attic by Die, Toshiya felt suspicious at the obvious tension between the two men. What had Kyo done? How could the beatings be his fault, he hadn’t known what Kaoru had been doing until just now…had he?
Toshiya broke the silence, facing Kyo, his voice quiet, and close to breaking. “Did you know what Kaoru was doing to my brother?”
Kyo was silent, but lowered his gaze from Die’s face.
“Did you?”
-TBC
Chapters: 2/? Part I
Author: evespikey
Genre: Angst, drama
Ratings: PG-13 this chapter
Pairings/Characters: KaoruXShinya
Warnings: Violence, drug use
Summary: Kaoru and Shinya are lovers, but Kaoru has a violent temper. Toshiya is Shinya's older brother and seeks Kyo’s help, but Kyo knows more than he’s letting on.
Die put his hand over Toshiya's kindly, and Toshiya, feeling this gentle contact, slipped his fingers into Dies. Inside he felt a little calmer. Everything had been so surreal lately, it was a little like the ghost stories him and his friends had imagined and told around candlelight fire, frightening the weak ones. Lately life, if he could call it that, -recent events, anyway- had been so surreal. If Toshiya had been asked to imagine torture, some of this would appeared in his imagination. Kyo wrote abour the wildest things imaginable, but the difference between this and Kyo's lyrics -the reason why Kyo was such a fascinating man- was the very fact that these things never actually happened. Rape, torture, suicide- it was all stories, dreams portrayed. Toshiya felt cheated out of his dreams tonight. The world of violence had broken into reality, like 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' and Die's hand clasped around his felt like a safe shield. Toshiya could feel strength in those fingers, in the guitarist's rough hands.
Soon the two had climbed another flight of stairs and Die was pushing up a hatchet which he stuck his head through.
"Here we are!"
Die looked round at Toshiya with a friendly smile. Toshiya looked through the hatchet and saw Kyo on his knees across the attic-room packing many boxes containing the same thing. Toshiya wondered what it was.
"Kyo."
Kyo responded by swiftly hurrying Toshiya through the hatch and shutting it safely behind him, pulling the bolt without a sound.
"Careful."
Toshiya didn't know if Kyo directed this at him, but Die replied with an "as always."
"Glad to hear it," Kyo said sharply, striding to a desk pushed against the wall of the loft room and wiping his hands on a rough cloth. Toshiya surveyed the room he was in. This was apparently the attic at the top of Kyo's house. There was a sky-light window, but this had been blacked out. In fact, Toshiya noticed that there was no sound being carried into the room either, and very little light. It was more than a little strange.
"Toshiya..."
Kyo turned to Toshiya, brows furrowed. Toshiya quickly dropped his daydreams and turned his attention to the shorter man with at least as much respect you could give a 5 foot tall blonde man after passing out on his doorstep and being woken up in his spare bed near-naked. Suddenly Toshiya noticed Die was standing at his side.
"He's alright." Die said, striding over to Toshiya and slipping an arm around his waist. Toshiya let some of his weight rest on Die, and looked at Kyo. Kyo looked angry.
"No he's not!"
The vocalist spoke quietly, but with anger. There was a pause, while the blonde and redhead stared daggers at each other. Toshiya felt Die's hands tighten over his waist, and he looked unsurely at Die. Die seemed to have all his attention focused on Kyo, so Toshiya guessed it was merely because he was tense. After some moments of silence, or in Die and Kyo's case, silent conflict-
"I'll just...go, then..."
Toshiya's quiet voice broke the angry stares between Kyo and Die. They both turned to look at Toshiya.
"Thanks for putting me up for the night, Kyo," he said hesitently.
"It's not even morning yet!" Die protested, holding Toshiya's slim waist tighter.
"It's okay, Kaoru won't...oh!"
Toshiya's eyes widened as he remembered the reason he had so abrubtly and prematurely forced himself out of the bed Kyo had laid him in, and started.
-------------------
Shinya woke that morning to the noise of the bush warbler making its trills outside his window. To most people it would have been a pleasant sound but to Shinya it sounded like an alarm or a warning. He swung his long legs onto the floor over the side of the futon he shared with Kaoru, and went to the window. The morning sun was just beginning to come up over the horizon, and it lit up the sky with a pale evanescent glow. The light illuminated the mist that covered the Ginkgo trees in the distance, making the dew on their branches shine. Shinya could see more birds sitting on the sakura tree that threatened to dominate the view of his neighbour’s flats, chirping. Too late, he told the birds, you’re too late. The birds refused to listen and continued to open their beaks at him as if in earnest. Now is the time, they said, get up, they said.
Shinya moved away from the window.
Shinya’s lover lay on his back with one arm closed across his chest, the other out to the side, as if expecting someone to be lying in the v-shape of his elbow. Shinya felt that he should fill it. Shinya felt a lot of things but he never knew if they were right or wrong. He loved Kaoru, the man lying in that bed; and Toshiya said that was wrong. He loved Toshiya, his older brother, and Kaoru said that was wrong. Who was right? Kaoru said that Toshiya was jealous of what they had and wanted to ruin it. Toshiya said that Kaoru hurt him and that anyone who loved you wouldn’t do that. Shinya looked down at the bruise marks on his wrist. Kaoru never meant to hurt him. Kaoru loved him. Sometimes when Kaoru was angry, he punished Shinya, but that was Shinya’s fault. Shinya knew what made him angry and it was Shinya’s fault for making him angry. That was what Kaoru said. It all made sense when he was with Kaoru.
Maybe Kaoru was right and Toshiya was jealous of what they had. Kaoru said Toshiya didn’t want them to be happy together. Toshiya said the opposite: they weren’t happy; how could you be happy when your partner was hurting you? Shinya said he was wrong, Kaoru loved him and when he hurt Shinya, he always apologized afterwards. Everyone makes mistakes, he told Toshiya, and people need a second chance. If Kaoru was sorry, and Shinya knew he was, then that was all that mattered. Kaoru always made everything right again. Last night, after Toshiya had gone, Kaoru had taken Shinya in his arms. He’d said that he had done what he needed to do, that Toshiya was threatening their love and that it would be better if Shinya just didn’t see his brother anymore. I’m the one who protects you now, Kaoru had said. Shinya knew this, but there was a thought at the back of his brain: What did Kaoru need to protect him from? He knew Kaoru would have the answer. Kaoru always did. Toshiya said that love shouldn’t cause bruises on your arms. But Toshiya was naïve. Love hurts.
-------------------
Toshiya started.
“Kyo! It’s Kaoru.“
“Run out, has he?” Said Kyo, sounding slightly sarcastic.
“What?” Toshiya frowned, confused, and looked to Die for illumination. Die was frowning too, but under his frown was a dark look directed at Kyo.
“…on your brother. Has he run out on your brother?” Kyo continued.
Toshiya couldn’t help but feel Kyo’s sentence ended up in a different place than it started out. He decided to get straight to the point.
“He did this to me, Kyo.”
There was a silence in the room.
“What.” Kyo’s voice came out low but clear.
Toshiya explained. “Last night. I went over there because I’ve barely been able to see Shinya since he moved in with Kaoru, and when I do see him he’s covered in bruises. He hides them, but I know they’re there. He’s not doing it to himself, I’ve lived with him since the day he was born; I know Kaoru’s hurting him. He’s been beating him up. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t know how bad. I need your help Kyo.”
“See!” Die’s voice came out loud and aggressive. He gestured at Kyo with his cigarette. “This is what I told you, if you hadn’t-“
“Die.” said Kyo, and it sounded like a warning.
Die ignored it. “This is your fault, Kyo.”
Kyo said nothing. The two men were glaring at each other. Kyo looked as if the next noise he was going to let out would be a growl. Die looked at him with pure dislike. For the second time since being taken to the attic by Die, Toshiya felt suspicious at the obvious tension between the two men. What had Kyo done? How could the beatings be his fault, he hadn’t known what Kaoru had been doing until just now…had he?
Toshiya broke the silence, facing Kyo, his voice quiet, and close to breaking. “Did you know what Kaoru was doing to my brother?”
Kyo was silent, but lowered his gaze from Die’s face.
“Did you?”
-TBC