Supernatural/Angel FIC: Because it's Kassie's Birthday!!!
Title: The City of Angels (and Demons and Lawyers)
Author: Joyfulgirl41
Fandom: Angel/Supernatural x-over
Pairing: Sam/Dean (Wincest)
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Incest, Crackfic
Notes: Here be total and utter crackfic, because it's ethrosdemon's birthday and she wanted Angel/SPN and we loves her, so here it is! Happy Birthday, Kassie!
Angel timeline-wise, this is somewhere early S2ish. Yeah...
So much thanks to stone_princess for plotting, hand-holding, fact-checking, encouraging, super-fast on-the-spot betaing, and for working out the economics of buying new boots (which really has nothing to do with the story, she's just that awesome!!!!)!!!! I could not function without her.
Disclaimers: They don't belong to me. So, so sad.
The City of Angels (and Demons and Lawyers)
***
Wolfram & Hart
Lindsey studied the file in front of him: brothers, ghost hunters. The younger a potentially powerful psychic that the firm wanted to get a hold of. This would be their third attempt. The first was made when he was a baby.
"He was protected, apparently," Lilah said as she looked at her own file.
"But by who?" Lindsey asked.
"Who do you think?"
The second was made eight months ago. The plan had been to gently guide him to them. It had worked to some extent. He had left the family to go to school at Stanford. Become a lawyer. Wolfram & Hart had been ready to recruit him, but they had to speed things up when it looked like he might leave school to join the family again.
"They killed his girlfriend?"
Lilah shrugged. "The idea was that if his family hadn't made him leave, she would still be alive. He was supposed to sever ties with them after that."
"They underestimated his...devotion to his brother." Lindsey studied the pictures in the file. They seemed close. To say the least. "We're just supposed to recruit Sam?"
"Whoever gets him first wins."
"Just one problem. These guys have been brought up as 'crusaders against evil'." Lindsey threw his file down. "How are we supposed to convince them to join our side?"
"Well, I've already got my plan." Lilah smiled. "I suggest you start working on yours."
***
Sam woke up with Dean straddling him, a very large knife pressed against his neck.
"Where is my brother?"
"Uh." Sam coughed and then raised his eyebrows and tried not to move. Damn, Dean was heavy. "Are you possessed?"
Dean gave him an annoyed look. "Of course I'm not possessed. Who are you?"
"I'm Sam, you jerk." One of the few nights Sam actually got some sleep, and he woke up to a homicidal Dean. It figured.
"Prove it." The knife didn't move.
Sam rolled his eyes. "One time, when you were sixteen and we were down in Texas, you left your Metallica cassette on the dashboard of the Impala, and it melted and you cried."
"Dammit, Sam. I did not cry, the sun was in my eyes. And what did I tell you about telling that story?"
"Not to." Sam grinned.
"So why'd you tell it?"
Sam pushed Dean's hand away from his throat and rolled his eyes. "Because it was either that or the time that succubus--"
"Okay, okay." Dean backed up enough for Sam to move. "You're such a brat."
Sam sat up, and it seemed like ten things happened at once, most notably, long hair falling against his face and the back of his neck, and his chest...his chest. "Um, Dean?"
"Yeah, Sammy?"
"Do I, um. Do I have boobs?"
Dean grinned. "You sure do, princess."
"This is not funny!" Sam punched Dean as hard as he could.
"Sonofabitch." Dean winced and rubbed his shoulder. "Did you have to hit me that hard?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "Don't be such a wuss." Then he looked at where Dean was rubbing, and the skin was already a deep red color. "Oh."
"What the hell, Sam? D'you turn in to Wonder Woman?"
"I..." Sam rubbed his knuckles, but they didn't hurt at all. "Dean, what the hell is going on?"
***
"Okay, explain this one more time," Angel said tiredly.
Cordelia sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, because it will make more sense the twenty-seventh time. A guy and a girl. He's dressed as a priest, she's dressed as a nun. They're fighting something big green and slimey. Wackiness ensues!"
"And that's all? You don't know where they were?"
Oh my god, I'm going to stake him, Cordelia thought, and moved towards him to do just that, but Wes stepped in between them.
"You think this girl was a slayer?" Wes asked.
"Well, she certainly moved like one."
Angel leaned against his desk and crossed his arms. "But it didn't look like Faith or Buffy?"
"Wait, I didn't tell you it was Buffy? Silly me!" Cordelia took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "I didn’t recognize her."
"The thing that I don't understand is, if she's a slayer, and she takes care of this thing in your vision, why does she need our help?"
Kill. Them. All. "I don't know, Wes. I don't get to choose the visions, I just get the fun, skull-splitting headaches that come with them."
"Okay, okay," Angel said, pushing away from his desk. "If it was a nun and a priest--"
"Looked. They looked like a nun and a priest."
"Looked, were, whatever. If that's how they looked, then the place to start would be where the other people who look like that are." Angel turned to Gunn as he walked in the room. "When's the last time you went to confession?"
"Wait, what?" Gunn looked at Angel, then Cordelia, then Wes. "What'd I miss?"
***
"No, no way." Sam shook his head, and Dean tried not to laugh.
"You look like you're in a shampoo commercial when you do that." He held out the robe to Sam again.
Sam crossed his arms, which just served to give him some impressive cleavage. "I'm not dressing up as a nun."
"C'mon. I bet you'd make a sexy nun." Dean cocked his head and smiled. "I mean, don't I make a sexy priest?"
Sam just glared.
"Look, Sammy." Dean ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. "I know we've got this new thing to deal with..."
"You mean the thing where I'm a girl? You mean that thing, Dean?"
"Yes. But we've still got this other demon thing to deal with. The demon thing from your dream. The one that you made us come to L.A. for in the first place."
Before Sam could answer, there was a knock at the door.
"Go change," Dean said, throwing the robe at Sam. "I'll see who it is."
Sam scowled at him and walked into the bathroom.
There was a man in a suit at the door. "Uh, can I help you?"
The man raised his eyebrow and smiled. "Nice outfit. My name is Lindsey McDonald, and I'm really more interested in how I can help you."
"I think you have the wrong room," Dean said and started to shut the door.
Lindsey pushed the door back open and said, "I don't think so, Dean."
"Who are you?"
"Lindsey McDonald, Wolfram & Hart." Lindsey handed Dean a business card.
"The law firm?"
Dean turned to see Sam walking out of the bathroom, still in his ill-fitting jeans and T-shirt. He turned back to find Lindsey's eyes traveling all lazily up Sam's body.
"Yes, ma'am." Lindsey turned back to Dean and cleared his throat. "I actually wanted to talk to Sam."
"Well, you're talking to me," Dean said. He held his hand behind his back, pointing his finger at Sam and hoping that Sam took it as the polite suggestion to shut the fuck up that it was meant to be.
"Tell you what." Lindsey looked between Sam and Dean and then flicked the card Dean was holding. "When you're done playing 'tempted priest', tell Sam to give me a call."
"I'll be sure and do that." Dean shut the door in Lindsey's face and turned back to Sam. "What the hell?"
Sam shrugged. "How did he even know we were here?"
"Well obviously he's evil. What?" Dean asked at Sam's skeptical look. "Oh, come on, Sam. Random lawyer turns up the day you turn into a girl, offering his help all smarmy and...lawyery."
"He didn't know I was a girl, Dean. He thought we were..." Sam trailed off, blushing.
"Right." Dean coughed. "Well, at any rate, we should do some research on this Wolfram and Hart business before you try talking to him. Meanwhile, get nun'ed up, sweetheart. We've got work to do."
***
True to Cordelia's vision, they got there post-slaying to find the nun and the priest covered in goo. Which just sounded like the beginning to a really bad joke. A nun and a priest covered in goo walk into a bar...
The nun shook her hands and said, "I still don't get why we had to dress up."
"Now that I think about it, we probably didn't." The priest smiled and wiped off his face. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good priestiform."
Angel turned to Cordelia and raised his eyebrows.
"These are them," she said.
"And who are you?" The priest asked as he finally noticed them. He moved to put himself between them and the girl. As if a slayer needed his protection.
"We're here to help you," Angel said. "Well, not with this, obviously..."
"Oh, you're here to help? D'ya hear that, Sammy?" The guy asked without turning around. "I had no idea L.A. was so freaking helpful." He leaned towards Angel. "I think you guys have gotten a bad rap. You from Wolfram and Hart, too?"
So it was one of those visions. "No, we're definitely not with Wolfram and Hart," Angel said slowly. "Did they try and contact you?"
"Yeah," the guy said guardedly. "Some guy named Lindsey."
"Great." Angel sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Then you're in a lot more need of our help than I thought."
"And why should we trust you?"
"Um." Angel turned back to Cordelia again, who shrugged. "I have an honest face?"
"Dean," the girl said. She walked up behind the priest and rested her hand on his arm, looking over his shoulder. "I think they're legit. I recognize her. From my dream."
"Me?" Cordelia asked.
"Well there you go," Angel said, clapping his hands together. "Shall we?"
The guy looked thoughtful. He reached over and put his hand on top of the girl's. "You sure about this?"
She nodded.
"Okay." He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I’m Dean Winchester, and this is my brother Sam."
"Okay. This is-- Brother?" Angel asked.
Dean smiled stiffly. "You guys are here to help, right?"
"Uhhh." Angel turned to look back at Cordelia, who shrugged. Again. "Right."
***
"Uh, nice place," Sam said as they walked into the hotel that was Angel Investigations' home base.
Cordelia grabbed his hand. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."
"Okay." Sam stumbled after her, casting a look over his shoulder at Dean. Dean just smiled and waved.
"You can shower in my room. I have some clothes that might fit you," Cordelia said. "We look to be about the same size."
"Thank you," Sam said. "Seriously. I really appreciate this."
"It's what we do!" Cordelia said cheerfully.
"Yeah." Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "It's what we do, too."
"Okay." Cordelia opened the door to her room and let Sam in before her. "Shower's through here, and we'll just burn your little costume. Also, is your brother single?"
Sam stopped short and blinked. "Dean...he doesn't really date much."
"Oh, let me guess," Cordelia said as she went through her closet. "He's one of those all dark, broody hero, gotta go it alone types?"
"Less dark and broody, more sarcastic and smarmy, but basically, yeah."
"What is with heroes? Right? God!! Does he also have a thing for tiny blondes?"
Sam snorted. "Actually, that's more my area."
Cordelia turned, a surprised look on her face. Then, "Right, because you're--"
"Yeah, um. Shower." Sam pointed and then turned and walked into the bathroom.
He stripped off his slimey robe, then scared the shit out of himself by looking in the mirror. He was never going to get used to being a girl. Though he was sort of pretty. Nice body, cute face, minus the goo.
The shower felt wonderful, and when Sam got out, Cordelia had a set of baby blue pajamas laid out for him.
"There's a shelf-bra built into the tank," she said. "Trust me, you'll appreciate it."
***
When Cordelia went back downstairs, Dean and Angel were in front of the weapons cabinet.
"Seriously, man. This is great," Dean was saying. He was holding some sort of club-sword thingy. "Where can I get me one of these?"
"That one was given to me by a shaman back in the seventeenth century." Angel sounded like a proud father.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Boys and their big sticks. I don't think I'm ever going to get it."
Dean turned and tilted his head and gave her a cocky half-grin. "Well, if you want me to explain it sometime, darlin'..."
Cordelia sighed and shook her head. He had that obnoxious sort of swaggering charm that kind of reminded her of Doyle. Except that even dressed as a priest covered in goo, Dean was a way better dresser.
"Okay, then. Where's Sam?"
"He took a shower," Cordelia said pointedly. "Then went to bed."
"Right. Shower." Dean looked down as if he was just now realizing how disgusting he was. "Do you maybe have some extra clothes?"
"I'm sure we can dig something up," Angel said. "If you want to get cleaned up and get some sleep, too. We'll work on finding something to reverse whatever happened to your brother."
"Great." Dean rubbed his hands together. "Where's our room?"
"Our room?" Cordelia raised an eyebrow.
"Me and Sammy. Our room."
"Don't you want your own?" Cordelia asked. "We have a whole hotel full of rooms. I think we can spare an extra one or fifty."
Dean blinked at her. "Right. Of course. Just force of habit." He shrugged. "He's my baby brother. I'm used to looking out for him."
Dammit, Cordelia thought. That is not sexy! "I can put you in the room next to his if you want?"
"Yeah." Dean nodded. "That'd be good."
***
Lilah stormed into Lindsey's office and slammed her hands down on his desk. "I hope you're happy."
"If you're this pissed off, then I really am." Lindsey finished the paragraph he was reading, leisurely closed the file and looked up. "How can I help you?"
"You could help me by not sending the psychic we're after running into the arms of Angel, for starters."
Lindsey shook his head. "I take it the sex change was your idea?" When Lilah didn't answer him, Lindsey continued. "Was the slayer strength also you idea? Because that's what Sam has. So either you did that for some incredibly stupid reason that I'm not aware of, or there's a lot more to this than the Senior Partners are telling us."
Lilah huffed and turned so that she was leaning against Lindsey's desk, her arms crossed over her chest. "Imagine that," she finally said.
***
Dean went from asleep to wide awake as soon as the door to his room opened.
"Dean?"
"The door was locked."
Sam walked across the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I guess I'm kind of strong."
"What's going on, Sam?"
"I just--I need..." Sam jumped off the bed and started pacing. "I have all this energy. Buzzing under my skin. Like I'm going to fly apart." He made a frustrated sound.
Dean sat up and rubbed his hand over his face. "What are you talking about?"
"I need to kill something, fight something. Or fuck something. Oh, god," Sam said in a low, breathy moan. "I need to be fucked. Long and hard and--"
"Sam!"
"Sorry. I just..." Sam made that sound again.
"Come here." Dean held out his hand and then pulled Sam down onto the bed. "Just try and relax."
"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" Sam asked, even as his body settled against Dean's.
"Shhh, just." Dean pulled Sam against him and stroked his hand down the middle of Sam's back. "They're working on it. I think these guys really can help us."
"I hope so." Sam's breath was hot against Dean's neck, and his fingernails were scratching lightly against Dean's chest.
They stayed like that for awhile, Dean petting Sam down his back, his fingers tangling in Sam's silky-soft hair. Then he made the mistake of stroking down Sam's arm, over the back, and then around to stroke the soft skin on the inside of his elbow.
Sam sucked in a sharp breath and whimpered, and now Dean could feel the energy buzzing under his skin as well.
"Maybe you should go back to your room," Dean whispered.
"Maybe I should go to Gunn's."
Sam started to get up, and Dean didn't even think about it, just grabbed Sam and rolled them until he was on top, straddling Sam's hips like he'd done that morning, but with completely different intent. He wasn't about to let Sam go try and seduce a complete stranger.
"Dean." Sam writhed under him.
Dean grabbed Sam's arms and pinned them over his head. "Hold still," he gritted out. He needed a second to think.
"I can't." Sam's voice sounded torn. "I can't--this feeling. I need... God, they did something to me!" The frustrated desperation of Sam's expression was clear, even in what little light was afforded them by the clock on the nightstand. "I can't turn it off, Dean. I can't make it stop."
"I know, Sam. I just don't know what--"
Dean didn't get to finish his thought as Sam easily broke the grip Dean had on his arms and reached up and kissed him. So fucked, Dean thought, because he was hot and hard and definitely kissing back.
It was like being in the eye of a storm, the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in Dean's ears, and Sam a force of nature beneath him, vibrating with all kinds of barely contained power. Sam's mouth was sweet, hot, wet and full of dirty promise as they kissed, frantic and sloppy and all-consuming perfection.
Dean's hand automatically slid under the shirt Sam wore to stroke at the soft skin of Sam's stomach, then down, under the elastic waist of the pajama pants. Sam broke this kiss, his fingernails digging into Dean's shoulders as he arched his hips, and Dean hadn't even gotten there yet.
Suddenly Sam was moving away, sitting up and Dean leaned back, unsure of what was going on. His mouth went dry as Sam wriggled out of his pants and then straddled Dean's lap.
"Sam, we can't--" Dean said as Sam started to move on top of him, Dean's boxers the only thing keeping them from making a huge mistake.
"Sure we can," Sam said against Dean's lips as he kissed him. "Nobody has to know. I need you, Dean."
Dean laid Sam back on the bed, both disappointed and relieved that Sam had chosen to keep his shirt on. "I wish it were a moral objection." Dean rested his forehead against Sam's neck as he rolled his hips and Sam made an encouraging noise in the back of his throat. "I don't have a condom."
"What?" Sam asked with a sort of hysterical laughter.
"We don't know what did this to you, and we can't risk you getting pregnant. That would be...Well that would just be bad."
"Oh god," Sam groaned.
Dean reached between Sam's legs and stroked at his clit and groaned in frustration at how wet Sam was. "I'll do what I can for you, Sammy. And if it's still a problem tomorrow, I swear I will go to the store and buy a box of condoms and fuck you until neither of us can move."
"Fuck," Sam said, his hips arching against Dean's hand as Dean slipped two fingers into him.
"Deal?"
Sam bit his bottom lip and nodded, then said, "Deal."
***
Angel watched as Cordelia talked, mostly to herself, as Sam paced the lobby of the hotel like a caged animal.
"And that brings us to Buffy," Cordelia said, which was Angel's cue to step in.
"Where's Dean?" he asked, walking into the room.
"He went the motel to get our stuff. He thought I should stay here, what with all the evil lawyers out to get me." Sam looked tense and fidgety, probably unable to cope with the power he now possessed.
"You want to spar?" Angel asked casually.
Sam's eyes widened and he nodded. "God, yes."
Angel attacked without any further warning and found that while Sam's powers were new, his instincts were ingrained and Sam was one hell of a fighter. They fought hard, neither of them holding back, and Angel realized that he'd missed this--having someone as strong as he was to play off of.
It was obvious the moment Dean walked in the room, because Sam was momentarily distracted and Angel got in a kick in that sent Sam flying across the room. Sam landed against the wall hard.
"Sam!" Dean ran to where his brother was picking himself off the ground. "Are you okay?"
Sam looked up at him and smiled. "I'm fantastic. I could so kick your ass right now." He tilted his head and scrunched his nose. "Not that I totally couldn't before."
Dean frowned and said, "Yeah, whatever you need to tell yourself. I got our stuff."
"Yeah. Okay. Good."
It seemed like a normal enough exchange, except that there was a weird undercurrent that Angel couldn't quite figure out.
"So what do we know about changing Sam back?" Dean asked, turning away from Sam to look at Angel.
"I contacted a friend of mine, a pretty powerful witch. She thinks she can reverse whatever spell has been cast."
Willow had actually been disturbingly excited about the whole prospect. Oh, wow! Yeah. I've read a lot about transgender spells. I've just never had a chance to put it into practice. Slayer strength, you say? Fun! Angel wisely refrained from mentioning all of that, though.
"Great. When can she do it?" Dean asked.
"Tomorrow," Angel said, ignoring the panicked look in Dean's eyes. "Meanwhile, we should talk. We need to figure out why Wolfram and Hart is after you."
"I think it's because we're so pretty," Dean said. "Well, I mean, I am. They had to turn Sam into a girl to make him--Ow!" He rubbed his shoulder where Sam had punched him and glared. "Dammit, Sam. What did I tell you about hitting me?"
Sam grinned and batted his eyelashes. "You said not to."
***
It wasn't as though Sam hadn't tried. He had done everything he could to exhaust himself. He'd paced and done push-ups, sit-ups. He had sparred with Angel three times over the course of the day, but the minute he crawled into bed to try and go to sleep, it was like he'd been zapped with a bolt of electricity.
And he tried to take matters into his own hands, so to speak. He really did, but dammit it was way more difficult as a girl. Sam couldn’t shut his brain off, and it was like he could feel Dean's presence through the thin wall that separated their rooms.
Dean, right there, so close and overwhelming with the promise of release, and Sam could no more stop himself from going to him than he could keep the world from turning.
"Come in," Dean whispered, his voice low and rough as Sam cracked the door to his room open.
Sam wondered if Dean had been waiting for him.
"I tried," Sam whispered.
Dean reached out and pulled Sam down onto his lap. He was already hard. "It's okay." And it was, because it was dark, and Sam was a girl, and Dean kissed Sam like the world would end if he stopped.
Sam ran his fingers through Dean's hair as they kissed, and Dean's hands ran up Sam's back, pushing up the tank top he was wearing until Sam leaned away so that he could pull it off completely. Then Dean swung them around so that Sam was on his back, fully on the bed, and they were really going to do this.
Dean hooked his fingers under the elastic of Sam's pants and slowly slid them down, his fingers curving over Sam's legs as he went. Then he slid out of his boxers and crawled back up the bed, settling his body between Sam's thighs.
"You still with me?" Dean asked against Sam's neck between soft, biting kisses.
"Yes," Sam moaned. "Please tell me you got condoms."
Dean moved back so that Sam could see his cocky grin. "I told you I would, didn't I?"
Sam pulled Dean down and bit and sucked at his bottom lip until Dean was thrusting against him, his cock hard against Sam's stomach. "You also promised to fuck me until I couldn’t move," he said when Dean pulled away.
"And a promise is a promise." Dean reached over Sam's head and grabbed something off the nightstand. A single condom, no fumbling with a box or anything, which meant that Dean had been waiting.
"Tell me you want me," Sam whispered, and it seemed as though Dean's hands shook a little as he rolled the condom on.
"A whole lot more than I should, Sammy," Dean said as he moved over Sam again. "You ready?"
Sam answered by wrapping his legs around Dean's back, and then Dean was sliding into him, hot and hard and ohgodsogood, but way too slow to do anything but tease the buzzing under Sam's skin. He dug his nails into Dean's back and pressed against him.
"Jesus, Sam!"
"Hard." Sam bit Dean's shoulder and then licked over the spot. "As much as you've got. I can take it."
It sounded like Dean whispered fuck me, but Sam couldn't be sure because Dean took his request to heart, his next thrust hard enough to knock the headboard of the bed against the wall. Sam arched his neck and wrapped his legs higher around Dean's back, moving his hips up to meet Dean's.
Sam scratched at Dean's back and Dean bit at Sam's neck, and they were fucking like they fought, moving together with necessary violence. It was exactly what Sam needed, enough to feed the energy that had been building through his body since yesterday morning.
"Dean, god, Dean," Sam said, over and over, hoping that Dean heard it as, Yes, god, more.
The pressure curled like smoke through Sam's body, filling up every part of him until he couldn't stand it anymore, and Dean knew somehow, because he sat up, pulling Sam down into his lap, hard as he thrust up and Sam's orgasm exploded through his body. Sam shook through the aftershocks, his face pressed against Dean's neck as Dean came, Sam's name on his lips.
Dean lowered Sam back down onto the bed as he pulled away. Dispose of condom, Sam thought. Can't get pregnant. He curled against Dean's body when Dean laid back down, the buzz under his skin no more than a pleasant lazy hum now.
"Okay?" Dean asked, stroking his fingers down Sam's spine.
"Perfect," Sam murmured, sleep already starting to claim him.
Dean laughed softly. "Careful, Sammy. I might start getting cocky."
Sam snorted. "Too late."
***
Willow eyed the leggy brunette as she (he!) walked into the room in baggy jeans and an oversized T-shirt. Angel had filled her in on the whole Wolfram and Hart deal, but Willow didn't really think the 'why' mattered so much as the 'how'. There were really only three major gender-bending spells, and out of those, only one with even remotely accessible ingredients. She was fairly certain she'd be able to reverse it.
"So," she said as the Sam approached her. "You sure you want to be a guy again? I mean, hey! There are some definite benefits to being a girl."
"No, I definitely want to be a guy again," Sam said, a light blush creeping over his cheeks.
"Why?" Dean asked from behind him. "You can do it, right?"
"Oh, sure!" Willow said, enthusiastically. "Pretty sure."
Dean's eyes narrowed at that. "What do you mean, 'pretty sure'?"
"Well, there's a slight chance that the spell will actually split Sam in two, but don't worry," she rushed. "If that happens, I totally know how to put him back together again."
"That's...less than reassuring," Dean said.
Angel smiled and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, guys. Willows the best I know."
"Awww, thank you, Angel!" Willow smiled at him and then turned back to Sam and Dean and clapped her hands together. "Okay, everyone around the circle. Sam, get in the middle. Let's do this thing!"
***
"I think you guys should stay," Angel said as Dean finished loading the car. "Wolfram and Hart might still be after you. At least stick around until we have more information."
Dean shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, but Sam and I have our own thing and we can't hang around just because some big bad is out to get us." He laughed. "I mean, they've pretty much been out to get us since we were kids."
"You'll at least keep in touch?" Angel asked.
"Definitely. With the resources you've got..." Dean looked over to see Sam chatting with Cordelia, who was showing a great deal more interest in Sam now that he was a guy again. Dean ignored the jealousy that surged through his body and turned back to Angel. "We're on the same side, right?"
"Right." Angel held out his hand and Dean shook it, felt it as an acknowledgement of a fellow warrior. He would definitely be keeping in touch with Angel. If nothing else, it was good to know someone who had access to a powerful witch.
"Sammy, come on!"
Sam hugged Cordelia and jogged over to the car. "Tell Willow thanks again," he said as he shook Angel's hand. "I wasn't really looking forward to PMS."
Dean rolled his eyes. "Thank god. You're pissy enough on a regular basis anyway."
"No problem," Angel said. "You guys take care."
"Yeah." Dean nodded as he slid into the car. "We will. You do the same."
Angel gave him a weird smile. "I always do."
***
"So how pissed are they?" Lindsey asked as he walked into Lilah's office.
Lilah gave him a considering look and shook her head. "Not at all, actually. It seems that while we didn't accomplish the objective as it was stated, we didn't completely screw it up either."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know." Lilah stood up and grabbed her coat. "Something about their loyalty to each other, fodder for evil. You know how it is with them. The point is, neither of us got the upper hand on this one, so do you want to go get a drink? Your treat, of course."
Lindsey thought about it for a minute and then shrugged. "Why not?" It had been a long week. "You're going to have to explain your reasoning with the girl thing, though."
"Deal," Lilah said, slinging her purse over her shoulder. "Let's go."
Author: Joyfulgirl41
Fandom: Angel/Supernatural x-over
Pairing: Sam/Dean (Wincest)
Rating: 18+
Warnings: Incest, Crackfic
Notes: Here be total and utter crackfic, because it's ethrosdemon's birthday and she wanted Angel/SPN and we loves her, so here it is! Happy Birthday, Kassie!
Angel timeline-wise, this is somewhere early S2ish. Yeah...
So much thanks to stone_princess for plotting, hand-holding, fact-checking, encouraging, super-fast on-the-spot betaing, and for working out the economics of buying new boots (which really has nothing to do with the story, she's just that awesome!!!!)!!!! I could not function without her.
Disclaimers: They don't belong to me. So, so sad.
The City of Angels (and Demons and Lawyers)
***
Wolfram & Hart
Lindsey studied the file in front of him: brothers, ghost hunters. The younger a potentially powerful psychic that the firm wanted to get a hold of. This would be their third attempt. The first was made when he was a baby.
"He was protected, apparently," Lilah said as she looked at her own file.
"But by who?" Lindsey asked.
"Who do you think?"
The second was made eight months ago. The plan had been to gently guide him to them. It had worked to some extent. He had left the family to go to school at Stanford. Become a lawyer. Wolfram & Hart had been ready to recruit him, but they had to speed things up when it looked like he might leave school to join the family again.
"They killed his girlfriend?"
Lilah shrugged. "The idea was that if his family hadn't made him leave, she would still be alive. He was supposed to sever ties with them after that."
"They underestimated his...devotion to his brother." Lindsey studied the pictures in the file. They seemed close. To say the least. "We're just supposed to recruit Sam?"
"Whoever gets him first wins."
"Just one problem. These guys have been brought up as 'crusaders against evil'." Lindsey threw his file down. "How are we supposed to convince them to join our side?"
"Well, I've already got my plan." Lilah smiled. "I suggest you start working on yours."
***
Sam woke up with Dean straddling him, a very large knife pressed against his neck.
"Where is my brother?"
"Uh." Sam coughed and then raised his eyebrows and tried not to move. Damn, Dean was heavy. "Are you possessed?"
Dean gave him an annoyed look. "Of course I'm not possessed. Who are you?"
"I'm Sam, you jerk." One of the few nights Sam actually got some sleep, and he woke up to a homicidal Dean. It figured.
"Prove it." The knife didn't move.
Sam rolled his eyes. "One time, when you were sixteen and we were down in Texas, you left your Metallica cassette on the dashboard of the Impala, and it melted and you cried."
"Dammit, Sam. I did not cry, the sun was in my eyes. And what did I tell you about telling that story?"
"Not to." Sam grinned.
"So why'd you tell it?"
Sam pushed Dean's hand away from his throat and rolled his eyes. "Because it was either that or the time that succubus--"
"Okay, okay." Dean backed up enough for Sam to move. "You're such a brat."
Sam sat up, and it seemed like ten things happened at once, most notably, long hair falling against his face and the back of his neck, and his chest...his chest. "Um, Dean?"
"Yeah, Sammy?"
"Do I, um. Do I have boobs?"
Dean grinned. "You sure do, princess."
"This is not funny!" Sam punched Dean as hard as he could.
"Sonofabitch." Dean winced and rubbed his shoulder. "Did you have to hit me that hard?"
Sam rolled his eyes. "Don't be such a wuss." Then he looked at where Dean was rubbing, and the skin was already a deep red color. "Oh."
"What the hell, Sam? D'you turn in to Wonder Woman?"
"I..." Sam rubbed his knuckles, but they didn't hurt at all. "Dean, what the hell is going on?"
***
"Okay, explain this one more time," Angel said tiredly.
Cordelia sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, because it will make more sense the twenty-seventh time. A guy and a girl. He's dressed as a priest, she's dressed as a nun. They're fighting something big green and slimey. Wackiness ensues!"
"And that's all? You don't know where they were?"
Oh my god, I'm going to stake him, Cordelia thought, and moved towards him to do just that, but Wes stepped in between them.
"You think this girl was a slayer?" Wes asked.
"Well, she certainly moved like one."
Angel leaned against his desk and crossed his arms. "But it didn't look like Faith or Buffy?"
"Wait, I didn't tell you it was Buffy? Silly me!" Cordelia took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "I didn’t recognize her."
"The thing that I don't understand is, if she's a slayer, and she takes care of this thing in your vision, why does she need our help?"
Kill. Them. All. "I don't know, Wes. I don't get to choose the visions, I just get the fun, skull-splitting headaches that come with them."
"Okay, okay," Angel said, pushing away from his desk. "If it was a nun and a priest--"
"Looked. They looked like a nun and a priest."
"Looked, were, whatever. If that's how they looked, then the place to start would be where the other people who look like that are." Angel turned to Gunn as he walked in the room. "When's the last time you went to confession?"
"Wait, what?" Gunn looked at Angel, then Cordelia, then Wes. "What'd I miss?"
***
"No, no way." Sam shook his head, and Dean tried not to laugh.
"You look like you're in a shampoo commercial when you do that." He held out the robe to Sam again.
Sam crossed his arms, which just served to give him some impressive cleavage. "I'm not dressing up as a nun."
"C'mon. I bet you'd make a sexy nun." Dean cocked his head and smiled. "I mean, don't I make a sexy priest?"
Sam just glared.
"Look, Sammy." Dean ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. "I know we've got this new thing to deal with..."
"You mean the thing where I'm a girl? You mean that thing, Dean?"
"Yes. But we've still got this other demon thing to deal with. The demon thing from your dream. The one that you made us come to L.A. for in the first place."
Before Sam could answer, there was a knock at the door.
"Go change," Dean said, throwing the robe at Sam. "I'll see who it is."
Sam scowled at him and walked into the bathroom.
There was a man in a suit at the door. "Uh, can I help you?"
The man raised his eyebrow and smiled. "Nice outfit. My name is Lindsey McDonald, and I'm really more interested in how I can help you."
"I think you have the wrong room," Dean said and started to shut the door.
Lindsey pushed the door back open and said, "I don't think so, Dean."
"Who are you?"
"Lindsey McDonald, Wolfram & Hart." Lindsey handed Dean a business card.
"The law firm?"
Dean turned to see Sam walking out of the bathroom, still in his ill-fitting jeans and T-shirt. He turned back to find Lindsey's eyes traveling all lazily up Sam's body.
"Yes, ma'am." Lindsey turned back to Dean and cleared his throat. "I actually wanted to talk to Sam."
"Well, you're talking to me," Dean said. He held his hand behind his back, pointing his finger at Sam and hoping that Sam took it as the polite suggestion to shut the fuck up that it was meant to be.
"Tell you what." Lindsey looked between Sam and Dean and then flicked the card Dean was holding. "When you're done playing 'tempted priest', tell Sam to give me a call."
"I'll be sure and do that." Dean shut the door in Lindsey's face and turned back to Sam. "What the hell?"
Sam shrugged. "How did he even know we were here?"
"Well obviously he's evil. What?" Dean asked at Sam's skeptical look. "Oh, come on, Sam. Random lawyer turns up the day you turn into a girl, offering his help all smarmy and...lawyery."
"He didn't know I was a girl, Dean. He thought we were..." Sam trailed off, blushing.
"Right." Dean coughed. "Well, at any rate, we should do some research on this Wolfram and Hart business before you try talking to him. Meanwhile, get nun'ed up, sweetheart. We've got work to do."
***
True to Cordelia's vision, they got there post-slaying to find the nun and the priest covered in goo. Which just sounded like the beginning to a really bad joke. A nun and a priest covered in goo walk into a bar...
The nun shook her hands and said, "I still don't get why we had to dress up."
"Now that I think about it, we probably didn't." The priest smiled and wiped off his face. "What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good priestiform."
Angel turned to Cordelia and raised his eyebrows.
"These are them," she said.
"And who are you?" The priest asked as he finally noticed them. He moved to put himself between them and the girl. As if a slayer needed his protection.
"We're here to help you," Angel said. "Well, not with this, obviously..."
"Oh, you're here to help? D'ya hear that, Sammy?" The guy asked without turning around. "I had no idea L.A. was so freaking helpful." He leaned towards Angel. "I think you guys have gotten a bad rap. You from Wolfram and Hart, too?"
So it was one of those visions. "No, we're definitely not with Wolfram and Hart," Angel said slowly. "Did they try and contact you?"
"Yeah," the guy said guardedly. "Some guy named Lindsey."
"Great." Angel sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Then you're in a lot more need of our help than I thought."
"And why should we trust you?"
"Um." Angel turned back to Cordelia again, who shrugged. "I have an honest face?"
"Dean," the girl said. She walked up behind the priest and rested her hand on his arm, looking over his shoulder. "I think they're legit. I recognize her. From my dream."
"Me?" Cordelia asked.
"Well there you go," Angel said, clapping his hands together. "Shall we?"
The guy looked thoughtful. He reached over and put his hand on top of the girl's. "You sure about this?"
She nodded.
"Okay." He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I’m Dean Winchester, and this is my brother Sam."
"Okay. This is-- Brother?" Angel asked.
Dean smiled stiffly. "You guys are here to help, right?"
"Uhhh." Angel turned to look back at Cordelia, who shrugged. Again. "Right."
***
"Uh, nice place," Sam said as they walked into the hotel that was Angel Investigations' home base.
Cordelia grabbed his hand. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."
"Okay." Sam stumbled after her, casting a look over his shoulder at Dean. Dean just smiled and waved.
"You can shower in my room. I have some clothes that might fit you," Cordelia said. "We look to be about the same size."
"Thank you," Sam said. "Seriously. I really appreciate this."
"It's what we do!" Cordelia said cheerfully.
"Yeah." Sam rubbed the back of his neck. "It's what we do, too."
"Okay." Cordelia opened the door to her room and let Sam in before her. "Shower's through here, and we'll just burn your little costume. Also, is your brother single?"
Sam stopped short and blinked. "Dean...he doesn't really date much."
"Oh, let me guess," Cordelia said as she went through her closet. "He's one of those all dark, broody hero, gotta go it alone types?"
"Less dark and broody, more sarcastic and smarmy, but basically, yeah."
"What is with heroes? Right? God!! Does he also have a thing for tiny blondes?"
Sam snorted. "Actually, that's more my area."
Cordelia turned, a surprised look on her face. Then, "Right, because you're--"
"Yeah, um. Shower." Sam pointed and then turned and walked into the bathroom.
He stripped off his slimey robe, then scared the shit out of himself by looking in the mirror. He was never going to get used to being a girl. Though he was sort of pretty. Nice body, cute face, minus the goo.
The shower felt wonderful, and when Sam got out, Cordelia had a set of baby blue pajamas laid out for him.
"There's a shelf-bra built into the tank," she said. "Trust me, you'll appreciate it."
***
When Cordelia went back downstairs, Dean and Angel were in front of the weapons cabinet.
"Seriously, man. This is great," Dean was saying. He was holding some sort of club-sword thingy. "Where can I get me one of these?"
"That one was given to me by a shaman back in the seventeenth century." Angel sounded like a proud father.
Cordelia rolled her eyes. "Boys and their big sticks. I don't think I'm ever going to get it."
Dean turned and tilted his head and gave her a cocky half-grin. "Well, if you want me to explain it sometime, darlin'..."
Cordelia sighed and shook her head. He had that obnoxious sort of swaggering charm that kind of reminded her of Doyle. Except that even dressed as a priest covered in goo, Dean was a way better dresser.
"Okay, then. Where's Sam?"
"He took a shower," Cordelia said pointedly. "Then went to bed."
"Right. Shower." Dean looked down as if he was just now realizing how disgusting he was. "Do you maybe have some extra clothes?"
"I'm sure we can dig something up," Angel said. "If you want to get cleaned up and get some sleep, too. We'll work on finding something to reverse whatever happened to your brother."
"Great." Dean rubbed his hands together. "Where's our room?"
"Our room?" Cordelia raised an eyebrow.
"Me and Sammy. Our room."
"Don't you want your own?" Cordelia asked. "We have a whole hotel full of rooms. I think we can spare an extra one or fifty."
Dean blinked at her. "Right. Of course. Just force of habit." He shrugged. "He's my baby brother. I'm used to looking out for him."
Dammit, Cordelia thought. That is not sexy! "I can put you in the room next to his if you want?"
"Yeah." Dean nodded. "That'd be good."
***
Lilah stormed into Lindsey's office and slammed her hands down on his desk. "I hope you're happy."
"If you're this pissed off, then I really am." Lindsey finished the paragraph he was reading, leisurely closed the file and looked up. "How can I help you?"
"You could help me by not sending the psychic we're after running into the arms of Angel, for starters."
Lindsey shook his head. "I take it the sex change was your idea?" When Lilah didn't answer him, Lindsey continued. "Was the slayer strength also you idea? Because that's what Sam has. So either you did that for some incredibly stupid reason that I'm not aware of, or there's a lot more to this than the Senior Partners are telling us."
Lilah huffed and turned so that she was leaning against Lindsey's desk, her arms crossed over her chest. "Imagine that," she finally said.
***
Dean went from asleep to wide awake as soon as the door to his room opened.
"Dean?"
"The door was locked."
Sam walked across the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "I guess I'm kind of strong."
"What's going on, Sam?"
"I just--I need..." Sam jumped off the bed and started pacing. "I have all this energy. Buzzing under my skin. Like I'm going to fly apart." He made a frustrated sound.
Dean sat up and rubbed his hand over his face. "What are you talking about?"
"I need to kill something, fight something. Or fuck something. Oh, god," Sam said in a low, breathy moan. "I need to be fucked. Long and hard and--"
"Sam!"
"Sorry. I just..." Sam made that sound again.
"Come here." Dean held out his hand and then pulled Sam down onto the bed. "Just try and relax."
"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" Sam asked, even as his body settled against Dean's.
"Shhh, just." Dean pulled Sam against him and stroked his hand down the middle of Sam's back. "They're working on it. I think these guys really can help us."
"I hope so." Sam's breath was hot against Dean's neck, and his fingernails were scratching lightly against Dean's chest.
They stayed like that for awhile, Dean petting Sam down his back, his fingers tangling in Sam's silky-soft hair. Then he made the mistake of stroking down Sam's arm, over the back, and then around to stroke the soft skin on the inside of his elbow.
Sam sucked in a sharp breath and whimpered, and now Dean could feel the energy buzzing under his skin as well.
"Maybe you should go back to your room," Dean whispered.
"Maybe I should go to Gunn's."
Sam started to get up, and Dean didn't even think about it, just grabbed Sam and rolled them until he was on top, straddling Sam's hips like he'd done that morning, but with completely different intent. He wasn't about to let Sam go try and seduce a complete stranger.
"Dean." Sam writhed under him.
Dean grabbed Sam's arms and pinned them over his head. "Hold still," he gritted out. He needed a second to think.
"I can't." Sam's voice sounded torn. "I can't--this feeling. I need... God, they did something to me!" The frustrated desperation of Sam's expression was clear, even in what little light was afforded them by the clock on the nightstand. "I can't turn it off, Dean. I can't make it stop."
"I know, Sam. I just don't know what--"
Dean didn't get to finish his thought as Sam easily broke the grip Dean had on his arms and reached up and kissed him. So fucked, Dean thought, because he was hot and hard and definitely kissing back.
It was like being in the eye of a storm, the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in Dean's ears, and Sam a force of nature beneath him, vibrating with all kinds of barely contained power. Sam's mouth was sweet, hot, wet and full of dirty promise as they kissed, frantic and sloppy and all-consuming perfection.
Dean's hand automatically slid under the shirt Sam wore to stroke at the soft skin of Sam's stomach, then down, under the elastic waist of the pajama pants. Sam broke this kiss, his fingernails digging into Dean's shoulders as he arched his hips, and Dean hadn't even gotten there yet.
Suddenly Sam was moving away, sitting up and Dean leaned back, unsure of what was going on. His mouth went dry as Sam wriggled out of his pants and then straddled Dean's lap.
"Sam, we can't--" Dean said as Sam started to move on top of him, Dean's boxers the only thing keeping them from making a huge mistake.
"Sure we can," Sam said against Dean's lips as he kissed him. "Nobody has to know. I need you, Dean."
Dean laid Sam back on the bed, both disappointed and relieved that Sam had chosen to keep his shirt on. "I wish it were a moral objection." Dean rested his forehead against Sam's neck as he rolled his hips and Sam made an encouraging noise in the back of his throat. "I don't have a condom."
"What?" Sam asked with a sort of hysterical laughter.
"We don't know what did this to you, and we can't risk you getting pregnant. That would be...Well that would just be bad."
"Oh god," Sam groaned.
Dean reached between Sam's legs and stroked at his clit and groaned in frustration at how wet Sam was. "I'll do what I can for you, Sammy. And if it's still a problem tomorrow, I swear I will go to the store and buy a box of condoms and fuck you until neither of us can move."
"Fuck," Sam said, his hips arching against Dean's hand as Dean slipped two fingers into him.
"Deal?"
Sam bit his bottom lip and nodded, then said, "Deal."
***
Angel watched as Cordelia talked, mostly to herself, as Sam paced the lobby of the hotel like a caged animal.
"And that brings us to Buffy," Cordelia said, which was Angel's cue to step in.
"Where's Dean?" he asked, walking into the room.
"He went the motel to get our stuff. He thought I should stay here, what with all the evil lawyers out to get me." Sam looked tense and fidgety, probably unable to cope with the power he now possessed.
"You want to spar?" Angel asked casually.
Sam's eyes widened and he nodded. "God, yes."
Angel attacked without any further warning and found that while Sam's powers were new, his instincts were ingrained and Sam was one hell of a fighter. They fought hard, neither of them holding back, and Angel realized that he'd missed this--having someone as strong as he was to play off of.
It was obvious the moment Dean walked in the room, because Sam was momentarily distracted and Angel got in a kick in that sent Sam flying across the room. Sam landed against the wall hard.
"Sam!" Dean ran to where his brother was picking himself off the ground. "Are you okay?"
Sam looked up at him and smiled. "I'm fantastic. I could so kick your ass right now." He tilted his head and scrunched his nose. "Not that I totally couldn't before."
Dean frowned and said, "Yeah, whatever you need to tell yourself. I got our stuff."
"Yeah. Okay. Good."
It seemed like a normal enough exchange, except that there was a weird undercurrent that Angel couldn't quite figure out.
"So what do we know about changing Sam back?" Dean asked, turning away from Sam to look at Angel.
"I contacted a friend of mine, a pretty powerful witch. She thinks she can reverse whatever spell has been cast."
Willow had actually been disturbingly excited about the whole prospect. Oh, wow! Yeah. I've read a lot about transgender spells. I've just never had a chance to put it into practice. Slayer strength, you say? Fun! Angel wisely refrained from mentioning all of that, though.
"Great. When can she do it?" Dean asked.
"Tomorrow," Angel said, ignoring the panicked look in Dean's eyes. "Meanwhile, we should talk. We need to figure out why Wolfram and Hart is after you."
"I think it's because we're so pretty," Dean said. "Well, I mean, I am. They had to turn Sam into a girl to make him--Ow!" He rubbed his shoulder where Sam had punched him and glared. "Dammit, Sam. What did I tell you about hitting me?"
Sam grinned and batted his eyelashes. "You said not to."
***
It wasn't as though Sam hadn't tried. He had done everything he could to exhaust himself. He'd paced and done push-ups, sit-ups. He had sparred with Angel three times over the course of the day, but the minute he crawled into bed to try and go to sleep, it was like he'd been zapped with a bolt of electricity.
And he tried to take matters into his own hands, so to speak. He really did, but dammit it was way more difficult as a girl. Sam couldn’t shut his brain off, and it was like he could feel Dean's presence through the thin wall that separated their rooms.
Dean, right there, so close and overwhelming with the promise of release, and Sam could no more stop himself from going to him than he could keep the world from turning.
"Come in," Dean whispered, his voice low and rough as Sam cracked the door to his room open.
Sam wondered if Dean had been waiting for him.
"I tried," Sam whispered.
Dean reached out and pulled Sam down onto his lap. He was already hard. "It's okay." And it was, because it was dark, and Sam was a girl, and Dean kissed Sam like the world would end if he stopped.
Sam ran his fingers through Dean's hair as they kissed, and Dean's hands ran up Sam's back, pushing up the tank top he was wearing until Sam leaned away so that he could pull it off completely. Then Dean swung them around so that Sam was on his back, fully on the bed, and they were really going to do this.
Dean hooked his fingers under the elastic of Sam's pants and slowly slid them down, his fingers curving over Sam's legs as he went. Then he slid out of his boxers and crawled back up the bed, settling his body between Sam's thighs.
"You still with me?" Dean asked against Sam's neck between soft, biting kisses.
"Yes," Sam moaned. "Please tell me you got condoms."
Dean moved back so that Sam could see his cocky grin. "I told you I would, didn't I?"
Sam pulled Dean down and bit and sucked at his bottom lip until Dean was thrusting against him, his cock hard against Sam's stomach. "You also promised to fuck me until I couldn’t move," he said when Dean pulled away.
"And a promise is a promise." Dean reached over Sam's head and grabbed something off the nightstand. A single condom, no fumbling with a box or anything, which meant that Dean had been waiting.
"Tell me you want me," Sam whispered, and it seemed as though Dean's hands shook a little as he rolled the condom on.
"A whole lot more than I should, Sammy," Dean said as he moved over Sam again. "You ready?"
Sam answered by wrapping his legs around Dean's back, and then Dean was sliding into him, hot and hard and ohgodsogood, but way too slow to do anything but tease the buzzing under Sam's skin. He dug his nails into Dean's back and pressed against him.
"Jesus, Sam!"
"Hard." Sam bit Dean's shoulder and then licked over the spot. "As much as you've got. I can take it."
It sounded like Dean whispered fuck me, but Sam couldn't be sure because Dean took his request to heart, his next thrust hard enough to knock the headboard of the bed against the wall. Sam arched his neck and wrapped his legs higher around Dean's back, moving his hips up to meet Dean's.
Sam scratched at Dean's back and Dean bit at Sam's neck, and they were fucking like they fought, moving together with necessary violence. It was exactly what Sam needed, enough to feed the energy that had been building through his body since yesterday morning.
"Dean, god, Dean," Sam said, over and over, hoping that Dean heard it as, Yes, god, more.
The pressure curled like smoke through Sam's body, filling up every part of him until he couldn't stand it anymore, and Dean knew somehow, because he sat up, pulling Sam down into his lap, hard as he thrust up and Sam's orgasm exploded through his body. Sam shook through the aftershocks, his face pressed against Dean's neck as Dean came, Sam's name on his lips.
Dean lowered Sam back down onto the bed as he pulled away. Dispose of condom, Sam thought. Can't get pregnant. He curled against Dean's body when Dean laid back down, the buzz under his skin no more than a pleasant lazy hum now.
"Okay?" Dean asked, stroking his fingers down Sam's spine.
"Perfect," Sam murmured, sleep already starting to claim him.
Dean laughed softly. "Careful, Sammy. I might start getting cocky."
Sam snorted. "Too late."
***
Willow eyed the leggy brunette as she (he!) walked into the room in baggy jeans and an oversized T-shirt. Angel had filled her in on the whole Wolfram and Hart deal, but Willow didn't really think the 'why' mattered so much as the 'how'. There were really only three major gender-bending spells, and out of those, only one with even remotely accessible ingredients. She was fairly certain she'd be able to reverse it.
"So," she said as the Sam approached her. "You sure you want to be a guy again? I mean, hey! There are some definite benefits to being a girl."
"No, I definitely want to be a guy again," Sam said, a light blush creeping over his cheeks.
"Why?" Dean asked from behind him. "You can do it, right?"
"Oh, sure!" Willow said, enthusiastically. "Pretty sure."
Dean's eyes narrowed at that. "What do you mean, 'pretty sure'?"
"Well, there's a slight chance that the spell will actually split Sam in two, but don't worry," she rushed. "If that happens, I totally know how to put him back together again."
"That's...less than reassuring," Dean said.
Angel smiled and shook his head. "Don't worry about it, guys. Willows the best I know."
"Awww, thank you, Angel!" Willow smiled at him and then turned back to Sam and Dean and clapped her hands together. "Okay, everyone around the circle. Sam, get in the middle. Let's do this thing!"
***
"I think you guys should stay," Angel said as Dean finished loading the car. "Wolfram and Hart might still be after you. At least stick around until we have more information."
Dean shook his head. "I appreciate the offer, but Sam and I have our own thing and we can't hang around just because some big bad is out to get us." He laughed. "I mean, they've pretty much been out to get us since we were kids."
"You'll at least keep in touch?" Angel asked.
"Definitely. With the resources you've got..." Dean looked over to see Sam chatting with Cordelia, who was showing a great deal more interest in Sam now that he was a guy again. Dean ignored the jealousy that surged through his body and turned back to Angel. "We're on the same side, right?"
"Right." Angel held out his hand and Dean shook it, felt it as an acknowledgement of a fellow warrior. He would definitely be keeping in touch with Angel. If nothing else, it was good to know someone who had access to a powerful witch.
"Sammy, come on!"
Sam hugged Cordelia and jogged over to the car. "Tell Willow thanks again," he said as he shook Angel's hand. "I wasn't really looking forward to PMS."
Dean rolled his eyes. "Thank god. You're pissy enough on a regular basis anyway."
"No problem," Angel said. "You guys take care."
"Yeah." Dean nodded as he slid into the car. "We will. You do the same."
Angel gave him a weird smile. "I always do."
***
"So how pissed are they?" Lindsey asked as he walked into Lilah's office.
Lilah gave him a considering look and shook her head. "Not at all, actually. It seems that while we didn't accomplish the objective as it was stated, we didn't completely screw it up either."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know." Lilah stood up and grabbed her coat. "Something about their loyalty to each other, fodder for evil. You know how it is with them. The point is, neither of us got the upper hand on this one, so do you want to go get a drink? Your treat, of course."
Lindsey thought about it for a minute and then shrugged. "Why not?" It had been a long week. "You're going to have to explain your reasoning with the girl thing, though."
"Deal," Lilah said, slinging her purse over her shoulder. "Let's go."