Passive Aggressive Notes
I may or may not have shared that for a while the best site in teh interwebs in the history of mankind forever is/was passiveaggressivenotes.com, a site I still admire at least bi-weekly. I have always felt like contributing to this site, but my social isolation (working from home, being kind of a jerk that most folks avoid, etc.) does not put me in proximity to the areas most of the notes on the site, mainly the workplace.
However I hit gold the other day while walking to the store, just up the street. So yesterday I grabbed a camera on the off chance it would still be there. It was. I submit for your consideration the following.
1. Location, Location, Location...
Posted about 1½ feet off the ground. Is it just me, or does this seem like possibly not the best location to post a note, unless its intended audience is a child, or a Munchkin. I would have gone for "on top of the mailbox" so that anyone checking their mail would have to look at it. But that's just me.
The Note...
To The owner of a
gray longhaired female cat-
you should be careful
leaving him out all night -
Coyotes roam the area at
night looking for tasty kitties
Ignoring for a moment that in the 11+ years in the same house I have never seen a coyote in the hood, I suppose bands of coyotes could be roaming my neighborhood, a neighborhood more or less in the dead center of town. And while I suspect coyotes will eat pretty much anything, I was not aware that they were hunting specifically for tasty kitties, eschewing tasty bunnies, tasty small dogs, tasty food scraps thrown into easily-accessible trash cans. Coyotes are well known the be the gourmands of the animal kingdom and will never seek out "untasty kitties."
Of course the subtext of the note is clear, it's also clear the note's author doesn't give a damn about the cat and wants the cat not to be outside, but why drag coyotes into it? They have a bad enough image already, don't you think?
I am also curious as to why the cat's owner should be the one exercising caution. Assuming the gray longhaired cat qualifies as "tasty," my assumption is the cat should be the one exercising caution. Unless, of course, the coyotes have a more dastardly scheme to come after the cat's owner for not ensuring the cat has the proper flavor or to eat the cat as a first course, whetting their appetites for human flesh of the cat's owner for the main offering.
But the sweetest of all isn't that someone wrote this passive-aggressive gem and posted it anonymously on a mail box. The best part about this is that after wrting this and taping it up the poster went back to change the note, changing it from a "female" to "male" and changing "her" to "him." How did the poster realize his or her error? Why? Dies the poster only care about the male gray longhaired cat, not giving a good goddamn about the female gray longhaired cat? And how did the poster realize his/her gender error? By checking the cat's undercarriage?
I am very tempted to write and post a response. Maybe something "from the coyotes who roam the neighborhood."
However I hit gold the other day while walking to the store, just up the street. So yesterday I grabbed a camera on the off chance it would still be there. It was. I submit for your consideration the following.
1. Location, Location, Location...
Posted about 1½ feet off the ground. Is it just me, or does this seem like possibly not the best location to post a note, unless its intended audience is a child, or a Munchkin. I would have gone for "on top of the mailbox" so that anyone checking their mail would have to look at it. But that's just me.
The Note...
To The owner of a
gray longhaired female cat-
you should be careful
leaving him out all night -
Coyotes roam the area at
night looking for tasty kitties
Ignoring for a moment that in the 11+ years in the same house I have never seen a coyote in the hood, I suppose bands of coyotes could be roaming my neighborhood, a neighborhood more or less in the dead center of town. And while I suspect coyotes will eat pretty much anything, I was not aware that they were hunting specifically for tasty kitties, eschewing tasty bunnies, tasty small dogs, tasty food scraps thrown into easily-accessible trash cans. Coyotes are well known the be the gourmands of the animal kingdom and will never seek out "untasty kitties."
Of course the subtext of the note is clear, it's also clear the note's author doesn't give a damn about the cat and wants the cat not to be outside, but why drag coyotes into it? They have a bad enough image already, don't you think?
I am also curious as to why the cat's owner should be the one exercising caution. Assuming the gray longhaired cat qualifies as "tasty," my assumption is the cat should be the one exercising caution. Unless, of course, the coyotes have a more dastardly scheme to come after the cat's owner for not ensuring the cat has the proper flavor or to eat the cat as a first course, whetting their appetites for human flesh of the cat's owner for the main offering.
But the sweetest of all isn't that someone wrote this passive-aggressive gem and posted it anonymously on a mail box. The best part about this is that after wrting this and taping it up the poster went back to change the note, changing it from a "female" to "male" and changing "her" to "him." How did the poster realize his or her error? Why? Dies the poster only care about the male gray longhaired cat, not giving a good goddamn about the female gray longhaired cat? And how did the poster realize his/her gender error? By checking the cat's undercarriage?
I am very tempted to write and post a response. Maybe something "from the coyotes who roam the neighborhood."