You Have No Claim Over My Dancing

[joreth]

So there's a guy who pissed me off recently and I want to delve into it to process the incident. As ya'll know, I do a form of ballroom dancing that's called "social dancing". It's basically people who have learned at least a little bit of formal ballroom, Latin, and/or swing dancing who then go out either to public venues or to ballroom dance

Comments

Hustle

[edm]

My reading of the situation you describe is that what was triggered (for the dance partner complaining) was jealousy, combined with some view of his Fantasy Perfect Partner (that he'd spent time teaching "just right") slipping away. Both the interaction with your other dance partner, and the later interaction with you have that sort of read to me, even if the words used aren't directly "jealousy"/"fantasy". Neither of which is particularly desirable, especially in a dance partner. Nor particularly "mature

Re: Hustle

[joreth]

You're right, a good follow, which comes with dancing with lots of people, can become very good at honing in on a particular partner's style or learning the step because they're communicating about it, whereas someone who only learns that one partner is learning more by rote. They're basically memorizing the motions, they're not necessarily having a "conversation", they're reciting a script. Which is fine, especially for performance and competition dancers, if that's what two people want to do. But it's not social dancing, and it's not a relationship I agreed to have. The follow who learns that way will have a very hard time dancing with any other partner

Re: Hustle

[joreth]

cont

Re: Hustle

[edm]

Thanks for all the information, and the video links.

Having watched the basic footwork video for East Coast Swing that you linked to, the basic step timing is the same as Rock'n'Roll (and basic Salsa too, for that matter). But at least the Rock'n'Roll danced here has more foot movement to it (for the lead: step left, close right to left, step right, close left to right and transfer weight, rock back on the right, rock forward with right; the basic for the follow is the mirror), and the rock step is on the other foot. So I think it'll feel "familiar but different". (I see what you mean about Cha Cha danced to the same music, but the triple step I learned for Cha Cha is a travelling one, whereas it looks like the triple step in East Coast Swing is basically on the spot

[corpsefairy]

Gah. The ownership that some men believe they have over women is infuriating.

I wouldn't dance with him either.

[joreth]

Y'know, the warning signs were there that he was a controlling jackass. When I first started going, I would sit by myself at a table kind of in the back. After he noticed me, he started inviting me to sit at his table, which was three or four of them pushed together. The group of dancers pretty much fills up the entire available seating, but he likes to claim that section for "his people