GLEE: Really Almost but Not Quite
Title: Really Almost but Not Quite
Rating: PG 13
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Kurt Hummel, Ma Puckerman, Sarah Puckerman, Burt Hummel
Pairing: Kurt/Puck
Warnings: Fluff
Spoilers: vague season one (AU)
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_fluff_meme, prompt here.
Summary: With the start of Mr and Mrs Puckerman ending, Kurt and Noah need to determine just how they're going to manage things. With some added drama.
Continuation of Almost but Not Quite Really and Not Quite but Really Almost
Note: As it's AU, and I'm sort of lazy, I have ignored BabyGate in that Quinn never got preggers.
Truth be told, Kurt had never really given much thought to the possibility of Noah and Sarah's Dad ever being back in the picture. Sometimes, he forgot that Ruth wasn't a widow like his Dad was, sometimes he forgot that Ruth had a husband still, in all technicalities. Sometimes it was just easier not to think about. The second he'd seen it though, that day in school, Noah standing there, rage and hate and disgust written all over his face, that man standing there as if it was just another day, his heart had tightened painfully. Because through the anger and rage he could see the hurt, he could see the pain in Noah's eyes, there were issues that were bound to be dragged up and Noah didn't need them thrown all over the school.
The resoluteness and determination that Noah has to keep Sarah away from her father is endearing and somewhat worrying at the same time. Although Kurt sees how it affects Burt, when Puck tells Ruth that Burt is as good as Sarah's father figure. Noah might not need that anymore, but Kurt understands the wish for Sarah to have something like that. He can see it in his Dad when Noah says it, when Ruth and Noah are arguing, "Sarah needs a father," and Noah's instant argument of "She has Burt." Because although Kurt felt oddly possessive of his Dad when things started, he's really noticed how much Burt tries to be a dad to Sarah, and Noah, without overstepping boundaries. It's something that still pushes Noah and Burt from actually bonding, but Sarah just flew right in there to do the father/daughter things with Burt.
It was the first night that Kurt had seen Noah shout at his mother, it was the first night that Ruth had screamed in frustration at her son, it was the first night since the Puckerman family moved in with the Hummel's that they weren't all present for 'family' dinner. But Noah had gone out without his jacket or his phone or his keys, and Burt already asked if Ruth wanted him to go and find the kid. "He'll come home, or go to Finn's. Carole will call if he goes there." Kurt isn't sure if Ruth realises that Noah and Finn aren't talking since Noah slept with Quinn at the start of Sophomore year or if she just assumes they've made up since then -they haven't, Noah doesn't actually have anywhere to go. Sarah is the one who unlocks Noah's bedroom window and pushes it open a little bit, she leaves some dinner on a plate on his desk and steals one of his shirts to sleep in.
Kurt stays up all night, waiting for Noah to come home. And at midnight, when the other boy climbs up the side of the house and sneaks in, Kurt holds his breath, trying to figure out if he should go to Noah or if Noah will come to him. He gets his answer when his door opens and Noah slinks in. It's just a relief to have him home, safe and sound, that Kurt doesn't question where he's been, inviting Noah into his bed and leaning in to cuddle the chilled boy.
"I hate him." Noah doesn't talk about his father much, it's clear that Noah thinks very little of the man, and Kurt understands that, he agrees mostly too.
"I know you do, but your mother doesn't. Gaga only knows why, everything he's put you through." He doesn't understand Ruth; she's strong and independent, even with them merging the families, she still holds this persona of being her own woman. Ruth has to be used to being on her own, raising her kids, that she's grown to just depend on herself. And Kurt's seen the way she's slowly starting to depend on his Dad, the way that Sarah turns to Burt for 'dad' stuff, the way that Noah still sort of quietly seeks approval, the way that Burt thinks of both of them as his too. Kurt has seen Ruth realise it, get a little scared and then just roll with it.
Whatever happens with Elijah Puckerman, Kurt hopes that Ruth sees that her children don't need him, that Noah doesn't want him. Ruth has done enough on her own to turn her children into capable young people and Kurt is worried that Elijah is going to cut that down, that Ruth will show this side he's never seen up until the argument with Noah that night. The side of her that seems soft to whatever it is about her husband that means she's willing to listen to him.
Noah is quiet all through school, he only riles Finn once when he slings an arm over Rachel at school and Rachel knows he's just playing but Kurt sees Finn get that odd look and frankly, just the fact that Noah is acting like himself is comfort enough. He even gets to blow off steam when he terrifies Jacob Ben Israel over his stalking of Rachel. But then school ends and they head home, with Sarah yammering on about Josie McKee and how Josie has blond hair and blue eyes and everyone loves her but Sarah knows that she's prettier, even if she's got brown hair and brown eyes. And besides, Sarah can clothesline half the boys when they play some game called British Bulldog and that is apparently far more cool that braids. Noah gives Sarah a fist bump, even as Kurt promises to show Sarah how to do braids so that she can be extra cool and know how to do both.
When Kurt's Dad stops them in the sitting room, but nods Noah through to the kitchen, Kurt knows that Ruth's attempt to hear out her husband didn't go well. He avoids eavesdropping until Sarah gives him a look and they both linger close enough to hear everything. "C'mon Ma, eight years. We might've needed him some of the time, but he was never there, we coped. Now look at us. You and Burt, Ma, Sarah and me have never seen you this happy. And yeah, I know I fuck up, and I do stupid shit, but Christ Ma, you did great with us. We're great because you're fucking awesome and we don't need him for shit. We're good now, we're a family now. He's not part of it." Even if it is profanity laced, Kurt can't help but smile while Noah convinces his mother that Elijah Puckerman is a waste of space.
"I called a lawyer today, Hiram Berry,"
"Rachel's Dad?"
"Yeah, he's going to serve the papers tomorrow." It stuns Kurt for a moment, but then he remembers that Ruth's had the papers ready for a long time, clearly she's no longer in love with her husband, it makes sense that she'd file the papers at last, now that her husband has been located. The evening is somewhat tense for a while, Sarah gets herself ready for her Princess Party, taking three of Kurt's tiaras with her, and Noah and Kurt haunt the upstairs to give Ruth and Kurt's Dad space downstairs. "So," Kurt waits for a while before he tries to broach the subject, worrying slightly, "Your mom and dad are getting that divorce. Dad could ask her to marry him." When they started dating, what feels like forever ago, Kurt never really thought he'd get to this point, reach the point where if his Dad asked Noah Puckerman's mother to marry him, Kurt would be okay with it. Kurt is more than okay with it really, his Dad deserves to be happy, and Ruth makes him happy. Kurt would be fine with her being his step-mom. Except that makes Noah his step-brother.
"We're not related, Kurt. We'd be step-siblings at best, we'd still have different last names and different parents. It's not an issue." Kurt has always envied the way Noah doesn't really care about what people think, he does things because he feels like doing them and later, he may or may not regret them, but at the time, it's just because he wants to. Kurt is constantly worried about what people will think. "Unless it really matters?"
"I don't think it does," Kurt nuzzles a little into Noah's side, loving the softness of his shirt and the scent that is just Noah; fabric softener mixed with Noah's cologne and just what Noah smells like. It's clean and fresh with a hint of spice all at the same time. "But maybe," Kurt doesn't want to hide who they are, he doesn't want to cause problems, but he doesn't want to hide what he and Noah have either.
"We should tell Burt and Ruth? Yeah, I think so too." It marks the start of their plan, to feel each other their parents out and see how they'd react. And 'Cedes, and Rachel, and Sarah. It doesn't go smoothly.
Nothing goes smoothly.
The divorce is drawn out; Elijah is contesting some of the terms, he wants access to his children, wants joint custody and Noah breaks his fist on a wall when his mother says he might get it. Kurt tries to feel out Mercedes and her reaction to him maybe seeing something, but her gossip queen comes out and Kurt hedges off to let Puck talk to her about that -not that he believes that will help because Mercedes might've been the one to let slip that Quinn slept with Noah when Quinn accidentally let that information go in glee one day. Rachel knows enough about their lives right now with the divorce being handled by her father -and even though she doesn't talk about it, Kurt knows that Hiram Berry is worried about the outcome now.
Noah just makes things worse, coming in from school one day with his face bleeding. "Oh, Noah."
"Could you not screech, Ma." Kurt turns on the tap to wet a cloth while Ruth makes Noah sit down. Burt stays where he is at the far end of the table with Sarah, who stopped colouring in when Noah came in bloody. "I think my ear drum got hammered." Noah's right, his ear is bleeding, his temple is cut, there's the start of a bruise building around his jaw and his lip is split and his knuckles are bruised all over again.
"Noah, when you go getting into fights, you deserve everything you get." Ruth is exasperated, just like Kurt is, even as she gets the peas to put on his jaw and Kurt wipes at the blood around Noah's ear. "Is it painful? We might need to go to the hospital, you might've perforated your ear drum. God, Noah, what was it this time?"
"Bitch later," Puck just sighs, rubbing at his eyes, "Sarah, can you go get my glasses, please?" Sarah gives a nod and runs off, just as Ruth gets a piece of paper towel for Noah to take out the contacts. There's only one. "Lost the other when Azimio cracked his meat-paw into my head. Seriously, that hurt." He's blinking his eyes as Kurt hears Sarah in Noah's room, rooting around his drawers for the glasses. "It's not a huge deal, Beiste was there and so was Sylvester, and she likes Kurt so it's cool. I'll get suspended at worst." The fact that Noah mentions Azimio, Sylvester and the fact that the cheerleading coach's affinity for Kurt would be a helpful factor tells Kurt right then what happened.
"Noah, why were you fighting?"
"Because my team-mates are homophobic assholes who need to keep their judgemental little mouths shut or I will wire them." Kurt watches Noah's jaw clench and he's torn between adoration that Noah would defend him like that, and worry that he's going to get himself hurt worse if he keeps it up. "Karofsky and Adams thought it'd be fun to pass remark, Ma, it wasn't cool, so yeah, I got in a fight, and yeah I probably should've just shut the fuck up because Jesus Christ I cannot see straight, but dude, it's Kurt." Kurt can't help it, he strokes his hand over Noah's mohawk in thanks, smiling slightly as he tries to gently wipe away the blood.
"I should ground you."
"Yeah, but we won't." It's the first thing Kurt's Dad has said since Noah came in from practice like the walking wounded. "C'mon Ruth, we want the kids to stick up for each other, punishing him for defending Kurt is just detrimental to that." And Kurt knows his Dad would've done exactly what Noah did if he could've.
"Baby, try and not use your fists so much, okay?" Noah just nods at Ruth's request as Sarah darts into the room with Noah's glasses and slots them on his face.
"You want me to kiss your boo-boos better, y'big baby?"
"I got a boo-boo for you, ya little brat." Sarah yells and giggles all the way up the stairs as Noah chases her out, apparently tended enough that the little girls wild yelling isn't affecting him or he's completely fine with taking the abuse. Kurt sits down at the table, watching Ruth tidy up while biting her lower lip.
"What's wrong?" Both Kurt and his Dad know that Ruth only bites her lip when she's worrying over something.
"Look at him," she waves her hand towards the hall, where they can still hear Sarah and Noah goofing around. "Broken knuckles, bruised face, fights at school. What if they say I can't manage him, what if they take away my custody. Elijah doesn't want them, he just wants to hurt me." Kurt sighs, he knew it was too much to hope that they'd get through everything quick and easy. Even if Noah is almost eighteen and will be declared an adult soon, Sarah has a long way to go, and if Mr Puckerman is awarded custody, despite everything, she'll have a long time before she gets to choose.
Later, after Sarah's calmed down and come to help Ruth with dinner, Deadliest Catch is on for Kurt's Dad and Kurt sort of trails up the stairs to find Noah on the floor in his room, finishing his chemistry homework and Call of Duty paused behind him on the television. "What did they say?"
"'m not telling you." Noah doesn't look up from his notes, scribbling whatever he's doing on his notepad and drawing the molecular components.
"Noah, I'm used to it. What did they say?"
"No, okay, because you're used to being called a fairy, or a queer, or a pillow-biting pantywaister. But," Noah took a breath, looking at Kurt and shaking his head, "Just leave it, okay. It's taken care of." It's things like this that make him wonder about their relationship, because Noah is protective to the point of almost getting his jaw unhinged -because Kurt knows that it would've been Karofsky and Azimio, and Noah's fairly well versed at taking care of himself, yes, but both of them are big and just that little bit stronger. Noah may not have gotten his ass kicked, but he certain didn't come out of it as the victor.
"See, here's the thing," Kurt sat down on the floor, leaning in close to Noah just to feel the press of his shoulder, "your mom is freaking out." Noah sighs, dropping his pen and ignoring his chemical equations for a moment, leaning back and pressing in closer to Kurt, "There's a chance your dad might get custody, at least partial, and she's stressing and you're defending my honour -thank you, for that- but it's just making things that little bit harder on her." Kurt hates playing the Ruth card, because there are times when Noah doesn't even look to be the same person because he's making things easier on his mom and it's a total personality turn around. Kurt gets that there's been this weight on Noah's shoulders for far too long, because he had to play the role of co-parent while Ruth was working and he's had to grow up faster and take on more responsibilities. Kurt doesn't want to use that to twist Noah to do something, but sometimes it's the only way to stop Noah and his stubborn streak.
"You're right, I'm sorry, but seriously, just drop the Karofsky and Adams stuff, it's dealt with and done." Kurt isn't so sure, "No, really, Coach S. was there and that shit is scary."
True enough, school the following day, even with a stiff moving and bloody Puckerman turning up, Azimio and Karofsky skitter around like wounded field mice. "Oh my God, Noah, what happened?" Rachel and Mercedes do their own mothering, Kurt holding Noah's glasses while Rachel applies arnica cream to Noah's eye to bring down the bruise and Mercedes inspects his ear and hisses in sympathy. Noah tries to bat off their attention, but fails miserably.
"I had to speak with you anyway, Daddy says that you and Sarah have to write out a formal letter detailing whether or not you'd like your parents to share joint custody. It's not exactly a traditional method, but Daddy thinks that the judge preceding over the case would be more swayed by the view points of the children. Considering your father hasn't even met Sarah, it could be a good idea."
"Yeah, sure, whatever."
"I was going to suggest that you help Sarah with her letter, but maybe Kurt should assist both of you. Profanity is frowned upon in formal writing, Noah." Rachel just gives him a look that states he can argue with her if he wants, but she's already made her point. Mercedes walks down the hall with her arm through Kurt's and Rachel does the same with Noah until they get to glee where everyone detangles and heads inside.
"Can't I just say that he's a fucking deadbeat and I'd sooner punch him than look at him?"
"No, Noah, while I encourage you to express your feelings, violent or otherwise, you need to keep it PG rated. Not PG thirteen, PG." Noah raises his eyebrow as much as the bruising allows and shakes his head.
"This is way too after school special. You know I'll just write whatever and Kurt'll have to take out more than two thirds of it and then it won't make sense. You need those extra shits and fucks to make sense."
Noah tells Ruth about Rachel's Daddy's suggestion later, Sarah instantly wants to write her letting in crayon, just like she does when she's writing to their Bubbie. After dinner, Noah disappears to his room again and Kurt waits until after Project Runway to come and find him. "How far have you gotten?" There are sheets of paper on the bed, a few discarded attempts from what Kurt can tell.
"To whom it may concern." Kurt waits for the rest but Noah just shrugs, "That's it. It feels stupid, you know. I mean, I hate the motherfucker but putting that into words is fucking difficult." Kurt just nods, closing the door and crossing the room to lean against the desk. He's barely gotten to have a look at the piece of paper before Noah's hands pull him into the other boys lap. "This'll help me think better." Kurt laughs as Noah tips his head up for a kiss, hands holding to Kurt's hips to keep him in place while they kiss -softer than they'd usually do, but Noah's lip is still somewhat torn from his fight and Kurt is loath to hurt him.
"What do you remember of your Dad?" Kurt winds his arms around Noah's neck, fingers stroking the base of his mohawk to sooth and calm while Noah considers the question.
"Not a lot. He used to play, the guitar. I spent a really long time ignoring that, because I loved playing and I knew that is was something I shared with him. I just never wanted to go back to that. But Ma kept telling me to go back to it, to enjoy it, made me play so that he couldn't take that from us too." Noah's hands mimicked Kurt's, stroking up Kurt's spine, fingers pressing to each bone. "He used to drink, he'd come in from work, grunt at Ma or whatever and then go out to the bar. I don't know if he spent even half the nights of the week at home." Ruth was always on the go, like she always had to be doing something. Kurt found out just a few months ago that it was more because she was so used to always having something else to do. But Kurt's Dad cleaned up too, he cooked some nights, he did some of the house hold chores. It had just been Kurt and Burt for long enough that they had to. It Ruth could slow down a little. "He never hit us or anything, he just didn't seem to care enough to bother. Once in a while he'd do something like take me and Ma out, y'know? Go to the park or the mall or just hang out at home, it was one of those things that you remember, even through all the bad stuff. Cause there's just a few ones. Never enough though."
Kurt presses another soft kiss to Noah's lips. "What about here?"
"With Burt?" There's a smile, Kurt sees it. "Ma sings in the shower y'know? She's not that good, but you can hear her, right?" Kurt nodded, "She never did that before, ever. Like, I haven't heard her do it at all. Not when he was home, not when Sarah was born. Never. Cause she was always so stressed out and worried and run down. But like, Burt makes her laugh and Sarah slips up and calls him dad," Kurt heard that once, but the expression on her face and his Dad's told him it wasn't the first time. "She used to come and ask me to do that dad shit, y'know. Like helping her with homework or when she had problems at school, or that stupid little brat down the street that kept stealing her damn shoelaces. Even when we first moved in, she did it, until she figured out that she could ask Burt. She doesn't know what our Dad looks like, who he is. Throwing her in there is gonna mess her all up again."
"What about you? C'mon Noah, what're your feelings?" While Noah isn't a totally closed book, he's still pretty well sealed. Kurt wasn't foolish enough to believe that living together and being together would suddenly make Noah more likely to share his feelings, but he isn't completely against talking about things.
"I don't want to see him, because we weren't good enough. But with Burt it's like, you don't have to try. I nailed your fucking lawn furniture to the roof and he just made me take it off. He fixed my wreck of a truck completely free of charge because it broke down on the way home from a game and I had to walk nine miles. He's at every football game and I'm not even his kid. He even goes to Sarah's dance recitals and those are boring as hell. He's more like a dad than we've ever had, okay. And y'know, I was always a little jealous of that. Cause everyone knows your Dad is the bomb, okay, he's like super Dad or something. And that being even remotely directed towards me and Sarah? Yeah, I don't want our no-good waste of space old man around when we've got Burt and it doesn't matter if he's ours or yours cause he's just there."
"And you only swore once." So Noah wrote his letter, which was really more of a slew of memories and opinions and Kurt stopped him from swearing too much and then they sealed it in an envelope. It sat on the desk, forgotten, as Noah moved to the bed where Kurt was lying, fiddling with Noah's alarm clock.
"If that doesn't go off tomorrow," the words were spoken as Noah placed kisses along Kurt's throat, tiny nips making Kurt arch into it as Noah's hand slid along Kurt's side, "I'm blaming you." Kurt just smirked as Noah's mouth covered his, the alarm clock falling to the bed while Kurt gripped to Noah's head and pressed his body closer. Lying out on the bed, pressed against each other and sharing lazy, drawn out kisses, always reminded Kurt of just how badly he wanted Noah; the reaction of his body, the sighs he made, the way his skin tingled when Noah ran his hand up under Kurt's clothes. Everything just highlighted how badly he wanted to take things further with Noah, but they were both just that little bit hesitant. Because their parents still didn't know, and Kurt knew they were meant to tell them this week but things just got too out of control and they never got the chance.
"Sarah's away next weekend, isn't she?" Kurt let the last part of his question out with a gasp as Noah bit on the join of Kurt's jaw and neck, just below his ear.
"Yeah, something about Hippopotamus birthday or something. Why?" There was just something nerve tinglingly good about Noah's fingers brushing along Kurt's ribcage, the way each of his fingers skirted over the bones and the way the calluses felt against Kurt's smooth skin.
"Because, I really, really want us to go further than getting off over the clothes," Noah stops his hands, pulling back just slightly, "Like, you know, I want, I mean, I'm ready to-"
"Yeah?" Kurt nodded as Noah licked his bottom lip. They'd both agreed that they'd take things slow -it was the first time for both of them, so it wasn't like they wanted to rush it. At first, Kurt had been apprehensive, because Noah wasn't exactly known for his celibacy; he slept with his best friends girlfriend for Gaga's sake. But they'd settled for make outs, and then progressed to hands doing a little exploring, and occasionally, things got hot and heavy enough that a mutual handjob was in order. But Noah never pushed for more and Kurt just wasn't ready. Until now.
"I want to tell Ruth and Dad first." It didn't feel right, having his first serious relationship and hiding it from his father. He'd shared everything, from the day he'd finally built up the courage to come out, he'd never lied to his Dad. He doesn't want to start that with a relationship that feels this important. "So, next weekend, we tell them?"
"Yeah, babe, we tell them." He's not sure if he should worry about Noah's determination or not, but there just seems to be this small hesitation in his boyfriend. And that does worry him.
---
Rating: PG 13
Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Kurt Hummel, Ma Puckerman, Sarah Puckerman, Burt Hummel
Pairing: Kurt/Puck
Warnings: Fluff
Spoilers: vague season one (AU)
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_fluff_meme, prompt here.
Summary: With the start of Mr and Mrs Puckerman ending, Kurt and Noah need to determine just how they're going to manage things. With some added drama.
Continuation of Almost but Not Quite Really and Not Quite but Really Almost
Note: As it's AU, and I'm sort of lazy, I have ignored BabyGate in that Quinn never got preggers.
Truth be told, Kurt had never really given much thought to the possibility of Noah and Sarah's Dad ever being back in the picture. Sometimes, he forgot that Ruth wasn't a widow like his Dad was, sometimes he forgot that Ruth had a husband still, in all technicalities. Sometimes it was just easier not to think about. The second he'd seen it though, that day in school, Noah standing there, rage and hate and disgust written all over his face, that man standing there as if it was just another day, his heart had tightened painfully. Because through the anger and rage he could see the hurt, he could see the pain in Noah's eyes, there were issues that were bound to be dragged up and Noah didn't need them thrown all over the school.
The resoluteness and determination that Noah has to keep Sarah away from her father is endearing and somewhat worrying at the same time. Although Kurt sees how it affects Burt, when Puck tells Ruth that Burt is as good as Sarah's father figure. Noah might not need that anymore, but Kurt understands the wish for Sarah to have something like that. He can see it in his Dad when Noah says it, when Ruth and Noah are arguing, "Sarah needs a father," and Noah's instant argument of "She has Burt." Because although Kurt felt oddly possessive of his Dad when things started, he's really noticed how much Burt tries to be a dad to Sarah, and Noah, without overstepping boundaries. It's something that still pushes Noah and Burt from actually bonding, but Sarah just flew right in there to do the father/daughter things with Burt.
It was the first night that Kurt had seen Noah shout at his mother, it was the first night that Ruth had screamed in frustration at her son, it was the first night since the Puckerman family moved in with the Hummel's that they weren't all present for 'family' dinner. But Noah had gone out without his jacket or his phone or his keys, and Burt already asked if Ruth wanted him to go and find the kid. "He'll come home, or go to Finn's. Carole will call if he goes there." Kurt isn't sure if Ruth realises that Noah and Finn aren't talking since Noah slept with Quinn at the start of Sophomore year or if she just assumes they've made up since then -they haven't, Noah doesn't actually have anywhere to go. Sarah is the one who unlocks Noah's bedroom window and pushes it open a little bit, she leaves some dinner on a plate on his desk and steals one of his shirts to sleep in.
Kurt stays up all night, waiting for Noah to come home. And at midnight, when the other boy climbs up the side of the house and sneaks in, Kurt holds his breath, trying to figure out if he should go to Noah or if Noah will come to him. He gets his answer when his door opens and Noah slinks in. It's just a relief to have him home, safe and sound, that Kurt doesn't question where he's been, inviting Noah into his bed and leaning in to cuddle the chilled boy.
"I hate him." Noah doesn't talk about his father much, it's clear that Noah thinks very little of the man, and Kurt understands that, he agrees mostly too.
"I know you do, but your mother doesn't. Gaga only knows why, everything he's put you through." He doesn't understand Ruth; she's strong and independent, even with them merging the families, she still holds this persona of being her own woman. Ruth has to be used to being on her own, raising her kids, that she's grown to just depend on herself. And Kurt's seen the way she's slowly starting to depend on his Dad, the way that Sarah turns to Burt for 'dad' stuff, the way that Noah still sort of quietly seeks approval, the way that Burt thinks of both of them as his too. Kurt has seen Ruth realise it, get a little scared and then just roll with it.
Whatever happens with Elijah Puckerman, Kurt hopes that Ruth sees that her children don't need him, that Noah doesn't want him. Ruth has done enough on her own to turn her children into capable young people and Kurt is worried that Elijah is going to cut that down, that Ruth will show this side he's never seen up until the argument with Noah that night. The side of her that seems soft to whatever it is about her husband that means she's willing to listen to him.
Noah is quiet all through school, he only riles Finn once when he slings an arm over Rachel at school and Rachel knows he's just playing but Kurt sees Finn get that odd look and frankly, just the fact that Noah is acting like himself is comfort enough. He even gets to blow off steam when he terrifies Jacob Ben Israel over his stalking of Rachel. But then school ends and they head home, with Sarah yammering on about Josie McKee and how Josie has blond hair and blue eyes and everyone loves her but Sarah knows that she's prettier, even if she's got brown hair and brown eyes. And besides, Sarah can clothesline half the boys when they play some game called British Bulldog and that is apparently far more cool that braids. Noah gives Sarah a fist bump, even as Kurt promises to show Sarah how to do braids so that she can be extra cool and know how to do both.
When Kurt's Dad stops them in the sitting room, but nods Noah through to the kitchen, Kurt knows that Ruth's attempt to hear out her husband didn't go well. He avoids eavesdropping until Sarah gives him a look and they both linger close enough to hear everything. "C'mon Ma, eight years. We might've needed him some of the time, but he was never there, we coped. Now look at us. You and Burt, Ma, Sarah and me have never seen you this happy. And yeah, I know I fuck up, and I do stupid shit, but Christ Ma, you did great with us. We're great because you're fucking awesome and we don't need him for shit. We're good now, we're a family now. He's not part of it." Even if it is profanity laced, Kurt can't help but smile while Noah convinces his mother that Elijah Puckerman is a waste of space.
"I called a lawyer today, Hiram Berry,"
"Rachel's Dad?"
"Yeah, he's going to serve the papers tomorrow." It stuns Kurt for a moment, but then he remembers that Ruth's had the papers ready for a long time, clearly she's no longer in love with her husband, it makes sense that she'd file the papers at last, now that her husband has been located. The evening is somewhat tense for a while, Sarah gets herself ready for her Princess Party, taking three of Kurt's tiaras with her, and Noah and Kurt haunt the upstairs to give Ruth and Kurt's Dad space downstairs. "So," Kurt waits for a while before he tries to broach the subject, worrying slightly, "Your mom and dad are getting that divorce. Dad could ask her to marry him." When they started dating, what feels like forever ago, Kurt never really thought he'd get to this point, reach the point where if his Dad asked Noah Puckerman's mother to marry him, Kurt would be okay with it. Kurt is more than okay with it really, his Dad deserves to be happy, and Ruth makes him happy. Kurt would be fine with her being his step-mom. Except that makes Noah his step-brother.
"We're not related, Kurt. We'd be step-siblings at best, we'd still have different last names and different parents. It's not an issue." Kurt has always envied the way Noah doesn't really care about what people think, he does things because he feels like doing them and later, he may or may not regret them, but at the time, it's just because he wants to. Kurt is constantly worried about what people will think. "Unless it really matters?"
"I don't think it does," Kurt nuzzles a little into Noah's side, loving the softness of his shirt and the scent that is just Noah; fabric softener mixed with Noah's cologne and just what Noah smells like. It's clean and fresh with a hint of spice all at the same time. "But maybe," Kurt doesn't want to hide who they are, he doesn't want to cause problems, but he doesn't want to hide what he and Noah have either.
"We should tell Burt and Ruth? Yeah, I think so too." It marks the start of their plan, to feel each other their parents out and see how they'd react. And 'Cedes, and Rachel, and Sarah. It doesn't go smoothly.
Nothing goes smoothly.
The divorce is drawn out; Elijah is contesting some of the terms, he wants access to his children, wants joint custody and Noah breaks his fist on a wall when his mother says he might get it. Kurt tries to feel out Mercedes and her reaction to him maybe seeing something, but her gossip queen comes out and Kurt hedges off to let Puck talk to her about that -not that he believes that will help because Mercedes might've been the one to let slip that Quinn slept with Noah when Quinn accidentally let that information go in glee one day. Rachel knows enough about their lives right now with the divorce being handled by her father -and even though she doesn't talk about it, Kurt knows that Hiram Berry is worried about the outcome now.
Noah just makes things worse, coming in from school one day with his face bleeding. "Oh, Noah."
"Could you not screech, Ma." Kurt turns on the tap to wet a cloth while Ruth makes Noah sit down. Burt stays where he is at the far end of the table with Sarah, who stopped colouring in when Noah came in bloody. "I think my ear drum got hammered." Noah's right, his ear is bleeding, his temple is cut, there's the start of a bruise building around his jaw and his lip is split and his knuckles are bruised all over again.
"Noah, when you go getting into fights, you deserve everything you get." Ruth is exasperated, just like Kurt is, even as she gets the peas to put on his jaw and Kurt wipes at the blood around Noah's ear. "Is it painful? We might need to go to the hospital, you might've perforated your ear drum. God, Noah, what was it this time?"
"Bitch later," Puck just sighs, rubbing at his eyes, "Sarah, can you go get my glasses, please?" Sarah gives a nod and runs off, just as Ruth gets a piece of paper towel for Noah to take out the contacts. There's only one. "Lost the other when Azimio cracked his meat-paw into my head. Seriously, that hurt." He's blinking his eyes as Kurt hears Sarah in Noah's room, rooting around his drawers for the glasses. "It's not a huge deal, Beiste was there and so was Sylvester, and she likes Kurt so it's cool. I'll get suspended at worst." The fact that Noah mentions Azimio, Sylvester and the fact that the cheerleading coach's affinity for Kurt would be a helpful factor tells Kurt right then what happened.
"Noah, why were you fighting?"
"Because my team-mates are homophobic assholes who need to keep their judgemental little mouths shut or I will wire them." Kurt watches Noah's jaw clench and he's torn between adoration that Noah would defend him like that, and worry that he's going to get himself hurt worse if he keeps it up. "Karofsky and Adams thought it'd be fun to pass remark, Ma, it wasn't cool, so yeah, I got in a fight, and yeah I probably should've just shut the fuck up because Jesus Christ I cannot see straight, but dude, it's Kurt." Kurt can't help it, he strokes his hand over Noah's mohawk in thanks, smiling slightly as he tries to gently wipe away the blood.
"I should ground you."
"Yeah, but we won't." It's the first thing Kurt's Dad has said since Noah came in from practice like the walking wounded. "C'mon Ruth, we want the kids to stick up for each other, punishing him for defending Kurt is just detrimental to that." And Kurt knows his Dad would've done exactly what Noah did if he could've.
"Baby, try and not use your fists so much, okay?" Noah just nods at Ruth's request as Sarah darts into the room with Noah's glasses and slots them on his face.
"You want me to kiss your boo-boos better, y'big baby?"
"I got a boo-boo for you, ya little brat." Sarah yells and giggles all the way up the stairs as Noah chases her out, apparently tended enough that the little girls wild yelling isn't affecting him or he's completely fine with taking the abuse. Kurt sits down at the table, watching Ruth tidy up while biting her lower lip.
"What's wrong?" Both Kurt and his Dad know that Ruth only bites her lip when she's worrying over something.
"Look at him," she waves her hand towards the hall, where they can still hear Sarah and Noah goofing around. "Broken knuckles, bruised face, fights at school. What if they say I can't manage him, what if they take away my custody. Elijah doesn't want them, he just wants to hurt me." Kurt sighs, he knew it was too much to hope that they'd get through everything quick and easy. Even if Noah is almost eighteen and will be declared an adult soon, Sarah has a long way to go, and if Mr Puckerman is awarded custody, despite everything, she'll have a long time before she gets to choose.
Later, after Sarah's calmed down and come to help Ruth with dinner, Deadliest Catch is on for Kurt's Dad and Kurt sort of trails up the stairs to find Noah on the floor in his room, finishing his chemistry homework and Call of Duty paused behind him on the television. "What did they say?"
"'m not telling you." Noah doesn't look up from his notes, scribbling whatever he's doing on his notepad and drawing the molecular components.
"Noah, I'm used to it. What did they say?"
"No, okay, because you're used to being called a fairy, or a queer, or a pillow-biting pantywaister. But," Noah took a breath, looking at Kurt and shaking his head, "Just leave it, okay. It's taken care of." It's things like this that make him wonder about their relationship, because Noah is protective to the point of almost getting his jaw unhinged -because Kurt knows that it would've been Karofsky and Azimio, and Noah's fairly well versed at taking care of himself, yes, but both of them are big and just that little bit stronger. Noah may not have gotten his ass kicked, but he certain didn't come out of it as the victor.
"See, here's the thing," Kurt sat down on the floor, leaning in close to Noah just to feel the press of his shoulder, "your mom is freaking out." Noah sighs, dropping his pen and ignoring his chemical equations for a moment, leaning back and pressing in closer to Kurt, "There's a chance your dad might get custody, at least partial, and she's stressing and you're defending my honour -thank you, for that- but it's just making things that little bit harder on her." Kurt hates playing the Ruth card, because there are times when Noah doesn't even look to be the same person because he's making things easier on his mom and it's a total personality turn around. Kurt gets that there's been this weight on Noah's shoulders for far too long, because he had to play the role of co-parent while Ruth was working and he's had to grow up faster and take on more responsibilities. Kurt doesn't want to use that to twist Noah to do something, but sometimes it's the only way to stop Noah and his stubborn streak.
"You're right, I'm sorry, but seriously, just drop the Karofsky and Adams stuff, it's dealt with and done." Kurt isn't so sure, "No, really, Coach S. was there and that shit is scary."
True enough, school the following day, even with a stiff moving and bloody Puckerman turning up, Azimio and Karofsky skitter around like wounded field mice. "Oh my God, Noah, what happened?" Rachel and Mercedes do their own mothering, Kurt holding Noah's glasses while Rachel applies arnica cream to Noah's eye to bring down the bruise and Mercedes inspects his ear and hisses in sympathy. Noah tries to bat off their attention, but fails miserably.
"I had to speak with you anyway, Daddy says that you and Sarah have to write out a formal letter detailing whether or not you'd like your parents to share joint custody. It's not exactly a traditional method, but Daddy thinks that the judge preceding over the case would be more swayed by the view points of the children. Considering your father hasn't even met Sarah, it could be a good idea."
"Yeah, sure, whatever."
"I was going to suggest that you help Sarah with her letter, but maybe Kurt should assist both of you. Profanity is frowned upon in formal writing, Noah." Rachel just gives him a look that states he can argue with her if he wants, but she's already made her point. Mercedes walks down the hall with her arm through Kurt's and Rachel does the same with Noah until they get to glee where everyone detangles and heads inside.
"Can't I just say that he's a fucking deadbeat and I'd sooner punch him than look at him?"
"No, Noah, while I encourage you to express your feelings, violent or otherwise, you need to keep it PG rated. Not PG thirteen, PG." Noah raises his eyebrow as much as the bruising allows and shakes his head.
"This is way too after school special. You know I'll just write whatever and Kurt'll have to take out more than two thirds of it and then it won't make sense. You need those extra shits and fucks to make sense."
Noah tells Ruth about Rachel's Daddy's suggestion later, Sarah instantly wants to write her letting in crayon, just like she does when she's writing to their Bubbie. After dinner, Noah disappears to his room again and Kurt waits until after Project Runway to come and find him. "How far have you gotten?" There are sheets of paper on the bed, a few discarded attempts from what Kurt can tell.
"To whom it may concern." Kurt waits for the rest but Noah just shrugs, "That's it. It feels stupid, you know. I mean, I hate the motherfucker but putting that into words is fucking difficult." Kurt just nods, closing the door and crossing the room to lean against the desk. He's barely gotten to have a look at the piece of paper before Noah's hands pull him into the other boys lap. "This'll help me think better." Kurt laughs as Noah tips his head up for a kiss, hands holding to Kurt's hips to keep him in place while they kiss -softer than they'd usually do, but Noah's lip is still somewhat torn from his fight and Kurt is loath to hurt him.
"What do you remember of your Dad?" Kurt winds his arms around Noah's neck, fingers stroking the base of his mohawk to sooth and calm while Noah considers the question.
"Not a lot. He used to play, the guitar. I spent a really long time ignoring that, because I loved playing and I knew that is was something I shared with him. I just never wanted to go back to that. But Ma kept telling me to go back to it, to enjoy it, made me play so that he couldn't take that from us too." Noah's hands mimicked Kurt's, stroking up Kurt's spine, fingers pressing to each bone. "He used to drink, he'd come in from work, grunt at Ma or whatever and then go out to the bar. I don't know if he spent even half the nights of the week at home." Ruth was always on the go, like she always had to be doing something. Kurt found out just a few months ago that it was more because she was so used to always having something else to do. But Kurt's Dad cleaned up too, he cooked some nights, he did some of the house hold chores. It had just been Kurt and Burt for long enough that they had to. It Ruth could slow down a little. "He never hit us or anything, he just didn't seem to care enough to bother. Once in a while he'd do something like take me and Ma out, y'know? Go to the park or the mall or just hang out at home, it was one of those things that you remember, even through all the bad stuff. Cause there's just a few ones. Never enough though."
Kurt presses another soft kiss to Noah's lips. "What about here?"
"With Burt?" There's a smile, Kurt sees it. "Ma sings in the shower y'know? She's not that good, but you can hear her, right?" Kurt nodded, "She never did that before, ever. Like, I haven't heard her do it at all. Not when he was home, not when Sarah was born. Never. Cause she was always so stressed out and worried and run down. But like, Burt makes her laugh and Sarah slips up and calls him dad," Kurt heard that once, but the expression on her face and his Dad's told him it wasn't the first time. "She used to come and ask me to do that dad shit, y'know. Like helping her with homework or when she had problems at school, or that stupid little brat down the street that kept stealing her damn shoelaces. Even when we first moved in, she did it, until she figured out that she could ask Burt. She doesn't know what our Dad looks like, who he is. Throwing her in there is gonna mess her all up again."
"What about you? C'mon Noah, what're your feelings?" While Noah isn't a totally closed book, he's still pretty well sealed. Kurt wasn't foolish enough to believe that living together and being together would suddenly make Noah more likely to share his feelings, but he isn't completely against talking about things.
"I don't want to see him, because we weren't good enough. But with Burt it's like, you don't have to try. I nailed your fucking lawn furniture to the roof and he just made me take it off. He fixed my wreck of a truck completely free of charge because it broke down on the way home from a game and I had to walk nine miles. He's at every football game and I'm not even his kid. He even goes to Sarah's dance recitals and those are boring as hell. He's more like a dad than we've ever had, okay. And y'know, I was always a little jealous of that. Cause everyone knows your Dad is the bomb, okay, he's like super Dad or something. And that being even remotely directed towards me and Sarah? Yeah, I don't want our no-good waste of space old man around when we've got Burt and it doesn't matter if he's ours or yours cause he's just there."
"And you only swore once." So Noah wrote his letter, which was really more of a slew of memories and opinions and Kurt stopped him from swearing too much and then they sealed it in an envelope. It sat on the desk, forgotten, as Noah moved to the bed where Kurt was lying, fiddling with Noah's alarm clock.
"If that doesn't go off tomorrow," the words were spoken as Noah placed kisses along Kurt's throat, tiny nips making Kurt arch into it as Noah's hand slid along Kurt's side, "I'm blaming you." Kurt just smirked as Noah's mouth covered his, the alarm clock falling to the bed while Kurt gripped to Noah's head and pressed his body closer. Lying out on the bed, pressed against each other and sharing lazy, drawn out kisses, always reminded Kurt of just how badly he wanted Noah; the reaction of his body, the sighs he made, the way his skin tingled when Noah ran his hand up under Kurt's clothes. Everything just highlighted how badly he wanted to take things further with Noah, but they were both just that little bit hesitant. Because their parents still didn't know, and Kurt knew they were meant to tell them this week but things just got too out of control and they never got the chance.
"Sarah's away next weekend, isn't she?" Kurt let the last part of his question out with a gasp as Noah bit on the join of Kurt's jaw and neck, just below his ear.
"Yeah, something about Hippopotamus birthday or something. Why?" There was just something nerve tinglingly good about Noah's fingers brushing along Kurt's ribcage, the way each of his fingers skirted over the bones and the way the calluses felt against Kurt's smooth skin.
"Because, I really, really want us to go further than getting off over the clothes," Noah stops his hands, pulling back just slightly, "Like, you know, I want, I mean, I'm ready to-"
"Yeah?" Kurt nodded as Noah licked his bottom lip. They'd both agreed that they'd take things slow -it was the first time for both of them, so it wasn't like they wanted to rush it. At first, Kurt had been apprehensive, because Noah wasn't exactly known for his celibacy; he slept with his best friends girlfriend for Gaga's sake. But they'd settled for make outs, and then progressed to hands doing a little exploring, and occasionally, things got hot and heavy enough that a mutual handjob was in order. But Noah never pushed for more and Kurt just wasn't ready. Until now.
"I want to tell Ruth and Dad first." It didn't feel right, having his first serious relationship and hiding it from his father. He'd shared everything, from the day he'd finally built up the courage to come out, he'd never lied to his Dad. He doesn't want to start that with a relationship that feels this important. "So, next weekend, we tell them?"
"Yeah, babe, we tell them." He's not sure if he should worry about Noah's determination or not, but there just seems to be this small hesitation in his boyfriend. And that does worry him.
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