Remember Me!?! Chapter 16!
Remember Me!?!
Chapter 16: Asleep [My Dreaming]
Couple: JONGKEY/MinKey
Genre: Romance, Drama, Triangle
Rated: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own SHINee
Chapter Summary: Sleep can ease a restless or overworked mind, and dreams can show the hidden desire. In dreams one can do what they do not have the courage to do in reality. In dreams, pain can be wiped away by gentle lips of distant lovers. In dreams, the past is golden, and future doesn’t matter, and present is all that remains. Dreams can comfort a broken soul, but waking from them to find them gone can break a soul.
Chapter 15 Link: http://community.livejournal.com/jongkey/301313.html#cutid1
Jonghyun: Age 20 (Current Day)
Jonghyun quickly ducked under the awnings of the small flower shop as he got off of the bus, and ran forward in order to get out of the heavy rain. The raindrops fell into the already deep puddles and splashed up on the grey windows, causing for their droplets to fall slowly down the cold glass as Jonghyun hesitantly pushed open the glass door of the shop and entered slowly.
“Welcome...” A sweet voice said, muffled as its owner continued to duck under the counter in order to put some ribbon in its place. “I’ll be with you in just a moment. Feel free to look around.” She added.
Jonghyun only let out a pained breath as he took his hands out of his pockets and continued to look towards the counter. It had been a long time since he was in this shop last. Too long. Since he graduated high school, and moved to more of the heart of Daegu, he hadn’t been out of the main city like this for a long time. It used to be, that he would sit at the small table in the left corner of the store and stare at the droplets running down the cold glass of the windows, and whisper out lonesome songs that played over and over in his mind, as one person’s face continued to consume his heart and mind. But, since he graduated, he hadn’t had the heart to come there anymore, and think about the face. It had even been far too long since he saw the one behind the counter, who still continued to work hard, despite the coming of her age.
“Umma...” Jonghyun said after a moment, turning back towards the counter, walking away from the window and table in the left corner of the room, and making his way towards the desk of the small flower shop.
The one behind the counter immediately stopped her working, and glanced up quickly. As her eyes confirmed the deep voice to be her son’s, Jonghyun’s umma smiled widely and sweetly, immediately wiping her hands on her apron and coming out from behind the counter.
“Jonghyun-baby! What are you doing here?” She asked happily, immediately embrace her rain-wetted son in her arms, not caring about the water that came off of his jacket and wetted her sweater and apron.
Jonghyun softened and relaxed in his mothers hug before letting out a slight breath and hugging her back. With all the recent troubles and worries in his heart, the gentle and caring embrace of his mother soothed his restless soul, and he closed his eyes before wrapping both his arms around her.
“I missed you, Umma.” Jonghyun said quietly, after a moment, as his arms unlatched from his mother’s thin waist, and his mother’s arms unwrapped from around his neck. His umma smiled softly at him before suddenly noticing something, and allowed for her eyes to flash slightly with concern.
“Jonghyun angel, you don’t look very good. You have such dark bags under your eyes, and your face looks so pale...what’s the matter, Sweetie?” She asked, frowning and smoothing her thumbs over Jonghyun’s cheeks and under his eyes as she spoke.
Jonghyun glanced down slowly and half sighed. Should he tell his mother about Kibum’s return? Perhaps not. It would be too troublesome. However, his mother was always pro at figuring out what was bothering him, no matter how hard he tried to cover it up. It was just that he was so confused about the whole situation about Kibum that he just didn’t want to think about it right then. His mind and soul were too tried to try to think clearly, and, no matter how much he hated himself for it, he had been forced to run away from Kibum when he told him about his past. With his heart and mind at its current tiredness, he would have never been able to respond correctly. He half smiled solemnly before looking back at his mother. If he were to tell her about Kibum, he would have to tell her later. Right then, he just needed to be restful.
“I just needed to get out of the city for a little while, Umma.” Jonghyun said quietly, after a moment. “I thought that maybe I could come here for the weekend and help you out around the shop, like when I was younger and we both first moved here.” He tried.
Jonghyun’s umma laughed lightly and continued to smooth her thumbs across her son’s obviously sleep deprived face, not believing a word her son was saying, but trying to humor the boy so that he could be more restful.
“Well, not like this you’re not, Angel. You’re so worn out.” She said, half laughing. “Why don’t you go back to the house and go to sleep for a little while? Then we can talk together, and you can tell me everything that’s on your mind, alright, Baby?” She asked, looking Jonghyun in the eyes with an expression saying “You might as well just say okay to me”.
Jonghyun half smiled lightly before kissing his umma on the cheek lightly and nodding slowly and obediently. “I’m sorry I can’t help you out right now, Umma. I promise I’ll be up soon so I can help you.” He said, after a moment.
Jonghyun’s umma laughed lightly before pushing her son’s messy bangs from his face gently and kissing his forehead lightly. “You know that you can come here whenever you need to be consoled or to be comforted, Honey, don’t feel guilty. Now, go back up to your bedroom and go get some sleep. I can tell you’re not feeling well. I’ll come give you some dinner and something warm to drink in a little while, alright?” She asked, after a moment.
Jonghyun half smiled lightly and gratefully to his mother before nodding slowly, and turning back to walk behind the shop, where the small house they had moved into four years back was. He felt bad coming to his mother just to make her comfort him, but he had really run out of strength this time. He figured that if he were to get any sleep, here would be the most restful place; and he could possibly think through the mess his life had been made into in the last few days.
As Jonghyun walked up the small, rickety stair case, he slowly ran his hand across the wall, and looked at the picture frames hanging on it. In a small but sentimental frame, hung on the last spot of the stairwell, hung a small picture of Kibum. It was the only picture that Jonghyun had managed to keep hanging (and not hidden away in some box) through the years. It had always been his favorite picture of him. He remembered the day so clearly. It was Jonghyun’s eleventh birthday, he had gotten his first ever camera (one of the old fashioned kinds that when you took the picture, it would immediately develop and come out on a small and glossy picture card). He and Kibum had taken so many pictures of each other with it, that it almost ran out of picture cards on the first day, and Jonghyun had a whole trunk full by the next month. The reason why he liked this picture of Kibum so much was because he had been standing in front of a mirror (where he had just finished fixing his hair in-yes, a diva at age 9), and the picture captured the huge smile on both of the boys’ faces. Kibum’s smile seemed so happy and carefree, and his eyes had been so bright that day. He just looked so happy that it made him look like the most beautiful being in the whole entire world.
Jonghyun sighed as he slowly took the picture off of the wall, and continued to look at it, until he walked into his old bedroom slowly. It was a little cold inside, due to a cracked open window, but still homey, for his mother would still dust it every time she did house cleaning, and looked exactly the way it did when Jonghyun used to be in his last year of high school.
Jonghyun let out a sigh as he fell onto his bed exhaustedly, but continued to stare at Kibum’s eyes in the picture, and held it above him as he lied on his back.
“I’m sorry...Kibum.” He whispered, quietly. “I...didn’t want to run from you. I-it’s just...what am I supposed to do? I just can’t figure it out. I’m afraid that my indecisiveness will only hurt you more. S-so...until I can figure it out...p-please forgive me, okay?” He asked, still staring at the picture.
~~~~~~~~~~
Kibum yawned as he leaned his head lightly against Minho’s shoulder as they continued to sit, hiding away from the rain in the bus station. Somehow all of his energy seemed to have been burned out with seeing Jonghyun again. He had tried so hard to be mature with him, but it seemed that he only spouted out everything he was feeling again, and made things just as bad as they were before. However, he still couldn’t understand one thing. If Jonghyun really didn’t care about him at all, and didn’t spare a feeling for him, even after hearing about his past, why would he have cried when Kibum told him about his feelings about feeling alone and scared? Kibum couldn’t figure it out. He replayed the situation over and over in his mind, but each time it pointed to Jonghyun caring about hurting him.
Kibum glanced up slowly, upon having something catch his eye. Jonghyun was still looking away from him, and still remained silent, but had his eyes closed tightly. Suddenly, a single tear began to push its way out of his eye, and fall softly down his high cheek bone. Kibum felt himself hesitantly move his hand up, but had to think for a moment. It wasn’t appropriate to touch Jonghyun then, let alone wipe his tear away...but he couldn’t help it. He loved him so much. Jonghyun had his eyes closed tightly, and didn’t see the younger boy move closer to him, and only stayed still. Kibum watched as his hand trembled in the air next to Jonghyun before finally mustering up all the courage he had to shakily wipe the tear off of Jonghyun’s cheek softly. Jonghyun winced at the touch, as if he was electrocuted by the contact. Kibum half smiled lightly at the softness of the older boy’s cheek, before moving his hand back to his side.
Kibum couldn’t help himself from smiling lightly at the remembrance of Jonghyun’s soft cheek, and at the idea that he did care about him after all. He closed his eyes lighter before pressing his lips against his hand for a moment.
“I love you...Jonghyun...” He thought slowly, as he rubbed his own cheek with his hand before burying his face more into the shoulder of Minho’s sweater, feeling himself become sleepy.
Minho glanced over his shoulder slowly at Kibum, who seemed to snuggle into his shoulder before letting out a quiet breath as he drifted off into sleep, as they both sat, waiting for the bus to come. Minho half smiled lightly at Kibum’s sleeping smile before pulling his jacket more over Kibum’s shoulders, making sure he was wrapped up like a blanket. Although the rain hard already nearly stopped, it was still chilly outside, and he had to make sure he stayed warm. However, when he noticed how wet he was, Minho glanced back towards the sky. If Kibum continued to stay wet and asleep outside like this, he could become sick again.
Minho looked back at the sky, as he noticed that the rain drops stopped falling, and everything was quiet and still, before looking back towards Kibum. He softened a little before pushing the bangs out of his face before standing back up. Kibum closed his eyes a little tighter as he felt Minho move, but stayed asleep. Minho half smiled at him before turning around and kneeling down, pulling Kibum over his shoulders gently.
As Kibum felt himself be picked up, he made a little moan in his sleep, but shifted onto Minho’s back comfortably, and managed to wrap his arms around Minho’s neck loosely. Minho hoisted him up a little before taking under his knees gently and began walking with him. He stayed true to his promise. He would protect Kibum no matter what, and would stay at his side until Jonghyun took him back. And, if Jonghyun never took him back, he would stay with him forever, and help dry his tears. That was his duty. It didn’t matter now that he found out that he was in love with him after all. It was important for him to keep his promise.
~~~~~~~~~~
There was a soft tapping on Jonghyun’s bedroom door, but no reply. Jonghyun’s umma knocked one more time lightly before slowly cracking open the door, and peeking in towards her son. He lied on his side, picture of Kibum on the pillow next to his cheek, fast asleep for the first time in two days. She smiled lightly at him before slipping into his bedroom slowly, silently shutting the cracked open window, and picking up a small but warm blanket before walking over to her son’s bed.
As Jonghyun felt the warmth of a blanket being pulled over him, and the softness of lips against his forehead, he moved a little in his sleep, moaning quietly before moving his hand up, unconsciously placing his hand on the picture of Kibum’s chest lightly.
“Ki...Kibum...I’m sorry....” He muttered quietly in his sleep, moving under the warmth of the blanket a little more. “I...I love you too, but I can’t tell you so. P-please forgive me...” He whispered.
Jonghyun’s umma stopped where she was and looked at her son slowly. She let out quiet and sad breath as she looked on the expression on her son’s face. She knew him coming home so disoriented and exhausted had something to do with Kibum. She could tell by the sadness and regret in her son’s tired eyes. But...what made him suddenly start thinking so much about Kibum again? Did he still have a girlfriend back at the university? She softened before brushing the bangs out of her son’s face. Whatever it was, she would wait for him to tell her himself.
~~~~~~~
Minho softened as he laid Kibum down softly on the hotel bed, after taking his wet jacket, and Kibum’s wet jacket off of him, and wrapping him up in blankets, in order to warm him up again. As he covered him up, he slowly kneeled next to the bed before beginning to take his shoes off of him, and covering his feet back up again. Then, he softly pulled the blanket up to under his chin, and made sure his hair wasn’t too wet by gently brushing his hand over his bangs, moving them from his eyes.
Kibum rolled over onto his side and made a light noise as he fell deeper asleep, when Minho gently traced his hand over his forehead. Minho half smiled at him and was about to turn away when Kibum whispered something quietly.
“I-I miss you...Jonghyun...b-but I can’t be upset with you. I’ll wait for you...” He whispered lightly, a soft half smile spread lightly across his cheeks as he dreamed.
Minho let out a quiet breath as he turned away from Kibum, and walked out of the hotel room, turning off the light behind him as he left.