Remember Me!?! Chapter Ten: Wake Up Alone (The Next Time I Woke Up, It Wasn’t You Who Was at My Side
Remember Me!?! Chapter 10
Chapter Ten: Wake Up Alone (The Next Time I Woke Up, It Wasn’t You Who Was at My Side)
Couple: JongKey (Ugh, some MinKey too. Don’t kill me!)
Rated: PG
Chapter Genre: Romance, (Angst?)
Chapter Summary: Kibum’s broken heart gives way to a new mission. A mission to retrieve that large part of his shattered heart, that he had lost. (I woke up and you were already gone. You just left me to freeze in the snow outside of your already empty house. I thought before that my heart had frozen over with my body, but when spring melted the ice, my heart also melted and showed me one thing: I have to get you back)~~~~~~~~~~~
Kibum: Age 16
“Kibum, I....I have to break my promise. W-we.....I can’t marry you....”
The words of the terrorizing nightmare broke into Kibum’s mind, and he shot out of bed quickly, screaming. “Jonghyun don’t go!!” Kibum yelled loudly. However, there was no reply and the cool winter sunshine shone through the frosted window, shining its cold winter light onto the other side of Kibum’s bed, as it lied empty. Kibum looked quickly at the empty side of the bed, eyes wide as he began to realize what had been said was not only a nightmare. As he realized that he really was alone, tears immediately welled up in his eyes, and quickly spilled, falling down his cheeks, onto his collarbones and onto the comforter of the nearly empty bed. The painful memories flashed through his mind like remembering a solemn nightmare, but they were all true. Kibum’s body began to tremble as the words came back to him again.
“Kibum...I’m so sorry.....b-but I have to go with her. I-I can’t leave her, and I can’t leave you, b-but I can’t choose this time. K-Kibum...I love you more than life...b-but...w-we....w-we just aren’t supposed t-to love each other, I-I guess....w-we have no other choice than to...”
“NO!” Kibum screamed loudly, as he remembered. He quickly began looking around the bed and floor. Thrown out on the floor were his own clothes, but Jonghyun’s were gone, and there was absolutely no trace of the older boy left in the nearly empty bedroom.
“I-I’m so sorry...Kibum. I...I have to go with her.”
“NO! Jong-WAIT!! Don’t leave!” Kibum quickly shot out of his bed, tumbling over various objects on the messy bedroom’s floor, hardly even remembering to throw on his snow jacket and boots as he hastily made it to the door. He immediately flung open his bedroom door and flew down the stairs as if he were running away from the devil.
Mrs. Kim glanced up quickly as she noticed her son flying down the stairs as quickly as anyone could run. “A-ah! Kibum! What’s the matter!? What’s going on!?” She asked quickly, as her son flung open the front door of the house and immediately took off, running into the slight snow storm outside.
“You can’t go!!” Kibum yelled as he stumbled and fell through the snow as quickly as his legs could possibly move. He had been in such a hurry when he ran out of his bedroom; he hardly had time to throw on his thin house clothes that he had been wearing the last night before pushing into the storm. As the cold slush of the street snow buried his legs shin deep, the coldness ran through his thin jeans and began to freeze him. However, Kibum didn’t feel the coldness. He felt like if he didn’t reach Jonghyun’s house in the next six minutes his life would end, and he didn’t feel the pain of the icy slush cutting him with its icy blades.
“You can’t leave me, Kim Jonghyun! You can’t! You can’t break a promise!” Kibum screamed loudly, as he reached the snow-covered house in front of him. However, there was no noise in reply besides his own shattered echo and the dripping of water falling off of the icicles on the gutters. Kibum looked around quickly, only to find that the small car that Jonghyun’s mother drove was already gone, and in front of the house there was already a foreclosed sign.
“JONGHYUN! YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!” Kibum screamed desperately, as he reached the front step of the house, staring up at the second window on the west side of the house. There was no reply, but Kibum wouldn’t accept the silence. “JONGHYUN!!” He screamed again. This time there was a reply, but it was just a thump of snow falling off of the stick-like branch of the naked tree above the house, falling onto the metal roof of the house. “JONGHYUN!!!” His voice as cracked and desperate, but he couldn’t allow for this to happen. He couldn’t allow for Jonghyun to leave his life. Life wouldn’t go on without him. “JONGHYUN!!!” He screamed one more time. There was still no reply and Kibum kept panting sharply as the coldness of the air bit him harshly.
As the cold wind hit against the back of his neck, Kibum began to freeze. His clothes were made of thin material and his sleeves were only courter length. He left as if the sun had just left, and he was the earth; freezing and broken in its absence. Suddenly, there Kibum’s eyes fell to the doormat in front of the front door. There was a damaged envelope flopping around in the winter’s breeze, but still wedged under the mat so it wouldn’t fly away. Kibum trembled as the messy writing on the front of it broke his heart even more.
Kibum
Jonghyun’s nearly illegible handwriting was written sloppily all over the top of the envelope. His crazy looking “K” was nearly as insane as the blonde’s insane hair, and just as messed up. There was the soft “phat” of a single tear falling onto the envelope as Kibum held it in his hands gently and slowly began to open it.
Kibum,
If you’re reading this, it means that I am already gone. Don’t stand in the snow waiting for me anymore. You’ve always been prone to getting sickness and I don’t want you to die of a cold. Please take care of yourself, Kibummie.
Kibum, I’m so sorry for everything I have done. For doing this to you. But, I have to leave this letter for you, in order to make you fully understand. I wasn’t strong enough to find the words to tell you myself last night, but you need to know, and deserve to be told front up. I have to tell you the whole truth, and tell you everything that I feel.
Kibum, I’ve been with you since you were a new born baby, and have grown up with you ever since. From the moment I’ve been old enough to know what marriage is, I’ve been looking forward to the day I would be able to fulfill the promise you oh-so-forcibly made me make. But, as everything, people and dreams change over time. Promises do too. Kibum, I still love you, but we have to change over time as well. You have to change, and so do I. And, now that I’m gone, I don’t want you to cry for me, or because of the fact that I left. People grow up and apart, and the pain of that separation is what makes us mature. Like the trees in the summer time, we have to learn how to deal with this change and separation. Trees can’t live forever in the summer time with all their leaves. Sooner or later fall and winter will come and steal their leaves away from them and leave them alone and naked. But the trees don’t die in the winter. The winter eventually ends, and spring comes again, and they grow new leafs and become even more beautiful than before. I hope that fate tearing us apart causes for you to have a spring and become even more beautiful than you are now.
You are such a beautiful and talented person, Kibum, and you have the prettiest soul in the world. I want you to acknowledge that, and not spend the time that we are apart despairing. I want you to grow up and develop and mature and become even more beautiful, without me. Please, don’t cry because or me, or wait for me to return. I want you to start to live life for yourself, and become even stronger without me. Know that I support you always, and grow up and do whatever it is you want to do. Spring trees don’t miss their leaves from the pervious summer, and are surrounded by new and even more beautiful leafs. Do this without me, and do not think of me or miss me anymore. Make new and beautiful friends and lovers and live life for today, not yesterday. Please do this for me, Kibum.
I love you, Kibum, please forget me.
-Jonghyun
Kibum’s body trembled with the words as the sunk into his shattered heart and he lost all his strength. His knees gave in and he fell into the snow. Although it was cold, and caused for goosebumps to run up and down his arms. He didn’t move and just stayed still in the snow, crystal tears falling from his eyes and turning to ice on his freezing cheeks. As his body began to freeze, he was sure his heart had began to freeze as well.
~~~~~~~~
The next thing Kibum knew, there were bright lights shining down on him, and the scratchy feeling of the miserably itchy cotton hospital blankets rubbing against him. He reopened his eyes slowly, and glanced around the room. It was a large room, painted all white, with a few strange looking paintings placed on random places of the walls. There was a small TV in the right hand corner, and a couple fake plants placed in various corners. There was an annoying beeping noise that would make its loud noise almost every time Kibum took a breath.
Kibum stayed quiet and kept looking around the room for a minute, before realizing something. There was the presence of another person next to him, and he could feel a warm and comforting hand holding his own gently. Kibum smiled widely before looking towards the other boy quickly.
“Jonghyu-M-Minho?” Kibum started to shout out his boyfriend’s name happily, but when he saw who it actually was, his voice died down. “M-Minho...wh-what are you doing here?” He asked quietly, voice light from confusion.
Minho glanced up slowly. The response was a little bitter, but he understood why. Although Minho had spoken to Jonghyun a total of two whole times (both times ended up getting yelled at for being too tall), he knew what was going on, and he knew why Kibum was the way he was right then.
As it turned out, Minho had recently moved into the large vacant house across the street of Jonghyun last week. He hadn’t really noticed that it was Jonghyun’s house across the street until the day prior when he noticed the blonde bobbing around in the snow, talking loudly on the phone about how he finally managed to buy the iPhone he had been wanting for the last two and a half years. Minho hadn’t even gotten a chance to try to approach the moody short thing to tell him that they were now neighbors (he wasn’t that thrilled about it. He and Jonghyun didn’t get along well), before he glanced out his window one day to see a few bankers talking to someone who looked like they could be Jonghyun’s mother. He wasn’t eavesdropping, but he couldn’t help but hear about a foreclosure. However, since he wasn’t close to Jonghyun or his family, he kept his mouth shut about it until now.
It just so happened that yesterday, Minho was outside of his house getting the paper (he had always been an early-waker and didn’t like to sleep past the hour of seven), when he suddenly heard a familiar voice screaming something, their voice cracking and obviously distressed.
“You can’t leave me, Kim Jonghyun! You can’t! You can’t break a promise!”
Minho glanced up slowly from his mailbox, upon seeing Kibum stumbling through the snow, trying to make his way to Jonghyun’s house as quickly as possible. “Key?” He thought, slowly. He stuck his hands in his pockets and stopped for a moment to watch as Kibum quickly ran to the front steps of the house.
“JONGHYUN! YOU GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!!” Kibum screamed desperately, as he reached the front step of the house, causing for Minho to watch him closer. He had thought he heard some cars leaving the house early that morning, but he wasn’t too sure it was Jonghyun’s. Why was Kibum screaming so desperately for him to come out of the house? Were they fighting? Minho kept his eyes on Kibum.
“JONGHYUN!” Kibum yelled again, loudly. Minho kept his hands in his pockets, but couldn’t help but notice that Kibum was only wearing a thin looking quarter length shirt and a pair of skinny jeans.
“Isn’t he really cold in that?” Minho thought slowly, keeping his eyes on Kibum as he continued screaming loudly for Jonghyun. He slowly glanced back towards the seemingly empty house. He had noticed late in the evening that a foreclosure sign had been put in front of the house. “Did Jonghyun move somewhere or something? Wouldn’t he have told Key if he was going to leave?” He thought slowly.
Minho glanced back down from the house after a moment, upon not hearing Kibum screaming anymore. Suddenly, his eyes widened as he noticed Kibum drop a small white letter from his trembling grasp, allowing for it to flutter down into the snow. He was about to wonder what was going on, when Kibum suddenly fell into the snow. Minho held himself back from rushing to the other boy as he watched him fall. It wasn’t his place to suddenly show up out of nowhere and start asking questions. However, as he saw Kibum only shaking and sobbing in the snow, curling into a little ball and laying still, it took every part of him not to run to him. He stamped his feet into the snow in order to stop himself from rushing to his friend, but he kept his eyes glued on him, waiting for him stand back up and take care of himself.
Minho stood in his place for what seemed like forever until he noticed Kibum stop shaking and shivering and just lay still. That was too much for him to take and just stand there and watch. He quickly left his mail box and ran across the street quickly and made it to Kibum’s side.
“Key? Are you okay?” Minho asked, as he rushed to the raven’s side.
Kibum kept his eyes closed tightly, body trembling from the cold, and didn’t reply to Minho. Minho gnawed his lip as he looked at him closer. If he lied in the snow any longer, he would surely get seriously sick. He quickly glanced to his side, to see the letter sitting open in the snow. What was it that was in that letter that made Kibum react so much? He didn’t really know what he was doing before he slowly glanced over at the letter.
Do this without me, and do not think of me or miss me anymore. Make new and beautiful friends and lovers and live life for today, not yesterday. Please do this for me, Kibum.
I love you, Kibum, please forget me.
-Jonghyun
Minho glanced back at Kibum quickly, upon reading over the last paragraph of the letter. Did Jonghyun break up with him!? How could he do that? Every time he saw them together, they both looked so smitten. Suddenly, the pieces pieced themselves together like a puzzle in his mind, and it all became clear. Jonghyun’s house foreclosing, Kibum screaming at him saying that he couldn’t leave, the letter, everything made sense suddenly. Minho quickly turned to Kibum.
“Key...” Minho started, walking towards Kibum. “I know what you’re going through...but you can’t stand here anymore...” He started. Suddenly, he noticed something. Kibum wasn’t responding at all. Originally he had only thought that Kibum was in shock or depressed and was only laying there in defeat, but now as he noticed the way his body was shaking violently and his eyes were closed lightly, that it wasn’t just the overemotional boy’s reaction.
“Key!” Minho said quickly, jumping onto his knees next to Kibum, but the other boy didn’t reply. “Key, you have to get up!” He tried again. However, there was still no response. Minho gnawed his lip and quickly grabbed Kibum’s shoulders, sitting him up. “Key, are you okay!?” He asked, quickly. The other boy didn’t reply and only fell limp into his lap. Minho’s eyes widened as he felt the shaking of the other’s frail body. What he was wearing was way too thin to do him any good in the coldness, and laying in the snow made his whole body cold as ice. Minho didn’t waste another moment before he had Kibum in his arms, quickly rushing him forward to take him to the hospital
Minho kept his eyes on Kibum as his eyes flashed with the sadness of realizing that it was Minho who was at his side, holding his hand, not Jonghyun. Minho swallowed slowly before looking down at their hands. He shouldn’t have held onto Kibum’s hand for so long, but when he had come back into the hospital room that morning, Kibum caught it quickly and held it as if his life depended on it. Even when Kibum closed his eyes lighter at their touch and whispered Jonghyun quietly, Minho felt as if he had to hold the other boy’s hand gently and comfortingly. He glanced up slowly and looked back at Kibum after a minute or so.
“Are you feeling any better, Key?” He asked quietly, after a moment. He couldn’t think of any other words to say to the other at that moment, he looked as if his heart had just been all but pulled out of his chest.
Kibum didn’t answer his friend and only kept looking down. He couldn’t even bring himself to think about how he was holding onto Minho’s hand, and his heart felt as if it were cased in ice. He wanted to cry so much, but tears wouldn’t come to his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. All he knew was that Jonghyun was gone. Gone for good, and he didn’t even want to think about each other anymore. Why would Jonghyun insist on breaking all their ties? It didn’t make any sense. But his heart was too frozen to feel hurt, or even angry. All he could do was look down at the itchy blanket draped over him.
“Where am I...Minho?” Was all that Kibum could manage to get himself to say, his voice almost perfectly reflecting the brokenness inside of him.
Minho glanced down, obviously pained by the other’s sadness. “You’re in the hospital. You passed out in the snow outside of Jonghyun’s house due to coldness. You’ve been asleep for the last twenty-eight hours. You’ve been diagnosed with pneumonia.” He answered truthfully.
Kibum kept his eyes down, looking at the blanket. Why was it that when he found that he was seriously sick with pneumonia that he didn’t even feel fear? Why was it that when his heart was completely broken, he couldn’t even cry? Why did he feel nothing but the biting of coldness in his chest? He nipped his lip lightly, but asked what was on his mind.
“Is he gone....Minho?”
Minho glanced down slowly before nodding slowly and apologetically.
“Yes.”
Kibum swore he must have stopped breathing, and yet, tears did not come. His heart was frozen over, and no emotion could come to him. Minho only kept looking at him sympathetically.
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