Merry Christmas, nellie_darlin!
Title: It Really Wasn't His Fault...
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros.
Author's Notes: I’m not a smut writer, normally (I’m an angst and parody person), so I tried…I did write some, and it sucked, so I left it out. So you get pre-smut. Sorry. I may continue this, if you’d like me to.
Warnings: none.
Prompt #24: MWPP, sexy Remus, a prank gone wrong. Not too saccharine, but hold the angst, please. Smut is lovely
To: nellie_darlin
from your Secret Santa
He’d never in all his life known Divination to be this boring. Sure, the professor was a nut, but he was a very interesting nut. Today, however…
“Prongs…” he whined, but the would-be subject to his complaints was wise and did not grace Sirius with a reply. The latter sighed, and turned to Remus, who sat next to him on the other side. “Mooooony…”
Remus rolled his eyes, but turned around. “What is it now?”
“I’m bored, Moony.”
Remus sighed, but it sounded like he was suppressing laughter, so Sirius ploughed on. “And in Divination I’m never bored. So obviously there’s something wrong with the world, and James is ignoring me, and you’re smart, so amuse me. Please.” Remus sighed again, but did not refuse him, which most likely meant that he was bored too.
“How shall I amuse you, then?” he inquired tiredly.
“We should come up with a prank. Preferably one we can do now.”
“Somehow I knew that was coming.” Remus shook his head and proceeded to take out his wand. “What, then, shall we do?”
Sirius drummed his fingers. “I don’t know, that’s your job.”
“Someone should have a vision. A good one. Maybe about an unlikely couple or something…and commentate the goings-on.” A wicked grin was sprouting on Remus’ face, one that no one in their mind should trust. Then again, one could not exactly call Sirius Black “in his right mind”, or in any mind for that matter. It was a decidedly overlooked fact that Remus was the mastermind of the Marauders, even to the other Marauders.
“Prongs,” hissed the oblivious one, and this time he turned around.
“What now?” he moaned, but with relief. It was a very boring Divination lesson.
“We have an idea. Or rather, Moony does.”
James’ face lit up in sudden glee. “Let’s hear it. Wait - Wormtail! We have an idea brewing here to alleviate boredom.” He appeared proud of his use of a large word, which Remus had only taught him the previous class.
“A prank?” asked Peter hopefully. When the others nodded, he cracked a grin to rival Remus’.
“So, Moony thinks we can give people false visions! Of uncomfortable occurrences! Just imagine! Frank…prophesising about Snivellus and Filch!” Sirius’ face took on an expression of pure bliss. “Or Snivellus yelling about Dumbledore and McGonagall…” The others all exchanged disgusted glances.
“But let’s change it. People have dreams about it.”
“As long as I’m not the one dreaming this, let’s do it,” decided James, and that, of course, was that.
“No. Absolutely not. You are out of your mind!”
“But Moony!”
“No. I will not adjust it for Lily to dream of herself and you. That is not what I agreed to - it’s random, I told you. I can’t do anything about your dreams, but I will not alter hers more than I will anyone else’s.” Remus glared at James, who was now going from indignant to sulking. Peter and Sirius smothered laughs.
Something Sirius had been noticing as of late was that Remus was never actually angry with either one of them, but rather pretended to be. He’d mentioned this to Peter, who looked at him for a moment in one of those ways that made you wonder what James had charmed to be spelled on your forehead this time, and then shrugged and said he didn’t generally study people. Sirius wasn’t sure what this meant. He didn’t study people, and Remus was no exception.
James had no idea, and had just stared blankly when Sirius offered the idea. No surprise, as James was oblivious to everyone and everything except his two loves: Quidditch and Lily Evans.
Sirius had drawn the conclusion that his friends were simply not as observant as he was, and did not explore the concept further. He did continue to watch over Remus, as someone had to and no one else did. Someone that responsible was bound to get into trouble one of these days, and then where would the rest of them be? Not to mention Remus, who of course would be in the thick of it all and probably emerge physically and mentally scarred for life and good for nothing more than target practice for the Slytherins.
Seeing as this was such an important theory, and James and Peter had proven their unworthiness, and Remus most likely would deny all claims, Padfoot’s Theory of Consequences (In Responsibility) was unburdened on poor Lily Evans. She was perhaps enlightened to the true wisdom of Sirius, for she had softened, smiled at him, and told him in an unfamiliar tone of voice that she’d never realised how considerate he could be. It never occurred to him that it could have more to do with how the plan had come about as opposed to the plan itself.
All of this meant that Lily had taken to apparently helping him watch over Remus, which delighted James to no end. Sirius kept the real reason a secret like any good mate would and allowed James to speculate that “Evans is finally warming up to me!” as the besotted boy put it. Remus had shaken his head with his expression of indulgence laced with amusement that he reserved for James’ love life and Sirius’ theories. The latter’s creator did not understand why Remus didn’t at least have the decency to appear interested in either, but as it was Remus there would always be room for exception.
He was startled back to the present at a nudge from Peter. The others all had their respective wands out. “Let’s go, then,” said James airily as Sirius grinned apologetically and fished his wand out of his pocket, cursing his inability to pay attention.
He was in what he assumed to be the Room of Requirement, because that was the only room in Hogwarts that could possibly be…this. Made for a certain type of encounter that Sirius had no objections to…
Well, no objections as long as it wasn’t with Snape.
A silky touch on his shoulder; he spun slowly and came face to face with…Remus.
“Could this be true? Padfoot all to myself for the night?” Remus caressed him again, and with no small shock, Sirius realised he was completely and utterly fine with this…maybe even the slightest bit pleased.
But he didn’t have much of a chance to think this through, because this was the point in which Remus kissed him.
And it might have just been the dream, but the werewolf was quite the kisser…
They toppled over, and in the same joyous motion their clothing miraculously disappeared. I love dreaming, thought Sirius vaguely, but who wouldn’t when Remus Lupin was above you and doing insane things with his tongue…
His last coherent thought was a hope that this dream lasted for a very long time.
Sirius woke slowly, but after a long time contemplating his dream it occurred to him to be disturbed. Or at least confused, as he wasn’t supposed to have dreamed anything. Prongs must have messed it up - yes, that explains it. Stupid deer.
A nagging voice proceeded to poke him with the idea that perhaps it was merely coincidental that the dream had occurred the night of the prank, and that it was not caused by said prank.
He told the voice to sod off, and after a short debate with himself, tiptoed to the bathrooms to wash up before anyone else woke up and wanted to discuss the success of the last night’s pranks.
Upon returning, he found he needn’t have bothered; none of the others seemed about to wake up any time soon.
As a final test, he allowed himself to rest his gaze on Remus. His cheeks warmed. I don’t blush… bugger, this can’t be good.
He dressed and retreated down to the common room, seeing a blessed sight ahead - Lily Evans.
She was evidently pleased with herself, which concerned Sirius for a moment until he realised that she must have had a dream last night as well…
“I have come to the conclusion,” she told him as he sat on a couch, “that you are either very good at hiding things, or very oblivious.” At his confused expression, she chuckled. “The latter is more likely. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure out…”
“What out?” he demanded.
“You,” she replied, “and Remus.”
Had Sirius had a mirror, he would have been strongly reminded of a fish. “How - wait, I - but - how…” he trailed off, unsure of how best to phrase something he had not quite discovered yet for himself.
Luckily, Lily was nothing if not perceptive. “I must have beat you to it. Poor Sirius. I am right, aren’t I?”
“Depends on what about,” he muttered.
“You fancy Remus.”
“I suppose you could put it that way -” Sirius began, but then Lily had engulfed him in a bone-crushing hug.
“I knew it!” she almost shrieked. “If you need any help with…anything, please ask me, I’ve been wanting to set someone up for ages…ooh, I’m so excited! You two would be so cute together!”
A squealing girl was not helping him in his predicament. He had a feeling that James did not know this side of Lily - the annoying, fangirlish side. He forced out a “thanks” and retreated to the safety of his dorm, too late realising that now he would have to face the questions of his friends.
I officially hate my Divination teacher as of now…
Sirius stayed quiet most of the morning, worrying all three other Marauders and Professor McGonagall, who went as far as to take his temperature. Remus in particular was concerned, and kept demanding if he was all right. It was hard to meet his eyes and reply that he was when every time he was reminded of his dream, and had to bite his tongue to keep from asking for advice…
Finally he could stand it no more and retreated to the common room to seek out Lily. James’ beloved was more than willing to offer her say.
“You should tell him, of course,” she told him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He jerked his head up and stared at her, horrified.
“Are you mad?” he finally croaked out. “How do you think he’d feel? He’d feel guilty because I’m his friend, and I am not about to make him feel any worse about himself.” He folded his arms and mentally dared Lily to try to object.
She didn’t. “If that’s how you feel about it, then I suppose it’s your decision. But that’s my advice.” She shrugged, and made as if to leave.
“Wait!” Lily turned around again, wearing what could have been an amused smile on her face, and sat down next to him. “Look, I’m no good at this. Generally I’m the one being asked. So what exactly do I do? How do I break it to him easily?”
Lily was now most definitely grinning now. “Just tell him. Not about the dream, though…somehow I think that should wait until after he accepts.”
“You think he will?”
“I don’t see any reason why he shouldn’t,” she replied mysteriously, and proceeded to explain to him the benefits of being serious (“no, Sirius, as in the opposite of joking”) as best she could to an adolescent wizard.
Remus was not in the library today, nearly killing Sirius with shock. A cursory glance over the Marauder’s Map informed him that the werewolf was instead up on the top of the main castle. Sirius bolted for the nearest stairway up, pausing halfway there as nerves kicked in. He was indecisive for a few moments, made up his mind (again), and then finished the climb. He slowed to a walk as he reached to top to maintain a relaxed composure.
The castle top was larger than he’d imagined, and it seemed to be a maze of stairs and chimneys, from which many different colours of smoke were being exhaled. Eventually he located Remus leaning against a chimneystack emitting pale mauve steam, and meandered over. He wondered if Remus would hear him coming from the deafening palpitation of his own heart.
Apparently not. Remus was immersed in some book, most likely something old and using funny language, perhaps by the Wild man. Or the Spear-Shaker. He ignored it, and sat down next to the other boy, who did not appear to notice.
“Moony? Anyone home?”
The boy looked around wildly before noticing Sirius next to him. “Make some noise, will you?” he instructed good-naturedly. Sirius managed a nervous laugh.
“Look, Moony, can I talk to you? Without you reading the book, I mean.” Remus sighed, and placed the book in front of him on the ground.
“I’m all yours,” he replied.
If only, Sirius thought sadly. “Moony. Remus. I - well - there isn’t any easy way to put this, is there? Um. I, uh, fancy you. Don’t know how long for, only just realised it this week. Sorry.” He turned away so Remus couldn’t see his flaming visage. There was a long moment of silence between the two.
Finally, Remus responded. “I appreciate that you told me soon after finding out,” he said slowly. Sirius’ hopes rose; maybe Remus wouldn’t be uncomfortable around him. Another moment of silence passed, as both tried to find the right words.
“Can we ignore this?” begged Sirius as Remus finished, “It took me a lot less time, and I still haven’t.”
They stared at each other. “So,” Remus began again, slowly, “you really do? Fancy me?”
“Did you say…so did you?” Sirius asked, not daring to hope, but hoping nonetheless. Remus only nodded, once. A slow smile spread across his face. “Both of us, then?”
“Both of us,” confirmed Remus, and his hand found Sirius’ own.