Gay or Queer?

[johanna_hypatia]

I'm writing this largely with copperstewart in mind. His explorations in the subject have opened up much for me to ponder about it. This is just to set out some basic concepts that may not be clear to everyone, especially the older generation of hetero people. In my experience it's been mostly older people who question our use of "queer." It may even come

Comments

Queer

[indifferenthues]

I was even in some "Queer Nation" actions back in the day. Plus one of my favorite names for an LJ Community is queerdammit.

[kesnit]

Queer is just a word, and to be honest, one of the least offensive things I have heard thrown at GLBT people. All it means is "different" or "not the norm," which really doesn't say anything at all. Using it as a self-identifier has never struck me as "radical" or "old fashioned." It just is.

IMO, people who use the word "genderqueer" are only fooling themselves. Society will bestow a label, whether "male" or "female." You (general you, not a specific person) can call yourself "genderqueer" until you are blue in the face, but the checkout clerk at the grocery store will still call you "sir" or "ma'am." The best society will grant is "androgynous male" or "masculine woman."

[johanna_hypatia]

Society will bestow a label, whether "male" or "female." You (general you, not a specific person) can call yourself "genderqueer" until you are blue in the face, but the checkout clerk at the grocery store will still call you "sir" or "ma'am." The best society will grant is "androgynous male" or "masculine woman."

I have to admit this is quite true, sir. In the real world, gender duality dominates, whether we like it or not. Some activists want to change that by changing society. Hey, there has been some social progress with race and feminism-- why not gender? I don't know-- I rather suspect gender is a far more deep-seated and instinctual perception, that is not very susceptible to social change. It triggers much more primal responses in humans, on the level of, for example, the immediate apprehension in one's environment of threat vs. safety, or food vs. not-food.

[ailado]

We might be sirred and madamed, but in the end I like to think we identify ourselves. True that the perceptions of others affect us, but I like to believe we are capable of self-determination. Just because one person says we're something doesn't make us that.

[johanna_hypatia]

Good point. It's always a dynamic process. I had to confront this question when I first began to come out-- will my self-understanding prevail, or will society's judgment beat me back into submission? Well as it turned out, I ultimately prevailed, and society has to a large extent validated me (although I ran into plenty of discrimination, bigotry, and heartbreaks that haven't all been resolved yet).

But then I'm a very gender-conforming woman, a femme lesbian who outwardly appears straight (except when holding my sweetie's hand as we walk down the street, we've gotten some stares). I haven't challenged that binary gender structure at all, I fit comfortably right into the female half of it. So I don't have the experience to evaluate what it's like to color outside the lines with my gender identity. In my post I tried to give a fair account of the genderqueer phenomenon, even though I don't share in it. I think people need to understand it-- it's going to be significant for society in the future, as so many young people are down with

[hrolleif]

I don't mind the word queer myself. But one thing I always wonder about when I hear people saying they are "reclaiming" words that a particular community has never used to describe individual members, is what exactly is being "reclaimed"? It doesn't seem to me that you can reclaim something you never had in the first place.

[johanna_hypatia]

For me:
Pride, dignity, self-esteem, the power to define ourselves, the power of self-actualization.

[hrolleif]

I guess I would see that as taking and/or shifting of power, rather than reclaiming it.

[johanna_hypatia]

I see your point of view. I was taking the long view looking back historically throughout various world cultures, including some Western cultures in ancient times, in which queer/gay/transgender persons have been revered as sacred and special, to be honored rather than trashed.

[mysanal]

Thank you for sharing this! Very thought-provoking.