FIC: Our Life Is Not a Movie or Maybe, 10/11

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10: Climax
Several things must occur at the climax of the film: the hero must face the biggest obstacle of the entire story; she must determine her own fate; and the outer motivation must be resolved once and for all.

February, 2009

Like so many other things, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. Joanna was stressed out about her dress for the Oscars, and couldn't go to her mother because according to McCoy, "Joss would show up to the Oscars in a fedora and a macrame dress if you let her" and that really wasn't Joanna's style at all. Carol's stylist owed her a favor, and Carol and Kirk had always had good luck with her. And Carol owed Kirk kind of a huge favor since he'd just coached her through having a baby and all. So Carol's stylist agreed to take care of Joanna for the Oscars.

But on the appointed day, about a week before the ceremony, the stylist had to send an assistant because she was needed elsewhere. The assistant didn't seem entirely happy to be sent on the assignment, but she was professional and the dresses she'd pulled were all pretty and age-appropriate.

Problem was, they were also all sample sizes, which Joanna was not.

"You know, honey," the woman said, "if you want to make it in this town you're gonna have to lose that pudge."

Cue a teenage girl blinking back tears.

Cue a father turning into an enraged bear.

"What the hell?" McCoy said. "Get out of my house!"

"Excuse me?" the woman asked.

"Jim, she'd better be gone when I come back out," McCoy said. He wrapped an arm around Joanna and led her back into her bedroom.

"Mr. Kirk, you know as well as I do that when she goes up for parts-"

"She's not pudgy; she's just normal-sized. And she's not an actress," Kirk said, still trying to work out what went so horribly wrong. "She's the daughter of a nominated writer."

The woman looked offended. "Then why am I here?" she asked.

"I don't really know," Kirk said. "To do the job you were hired to do, maybe? Which you didn't, so you'd better go."

As he watched the woman packing up, he could feel the panic coming on. But he was not going to fail Joanna. Spock would be of no help, so he called his other fail-safe: Carol. "Yeah, we have a problem. The assistant brought only sample sizes and called Joanna fat, so now she's crying and Bones is fuming."

"Not good," Carol said.

"That's an understatement," Kirk replied.

"Okay, give me two hours, and don't go anywhere. Distract them. It's almost lunchtime anyway."

So Kirk got them all lunch from In-N-Out Burger and told ridiculous stories about Carol until Joanna got a little smile on her face. It was around then that Carol arrived, along with little David in his car seat and a stylish diaper bag of enormous proportions.

"Okay," she said. "You two are going to watch him, and Joanna and I are going to go shopping. Leonard, I assume you know what to do with a baby. Everything you should need is in the bag. He was just fed and is sleeping it off now, but he'll need another bottle in not too long." She turned to Joanna. "Ready?"

Joanna nodded.

"Let's go, the car is waiting outside," she said, and shepherded Joanna out the door not five minutes after she'd arrived.

McCoy turned to Kirk. "What was that?" he asked.

Kirk shrugged. "That was Carol," he replied.

He cocked his head. "She helped you buy that dress for Jo, didn't she?"

"A gentleman never tells," Kirk said, smiling.

"Well, just so you know," McCoy went on, "she's planning on wearing yours to the big spring dance."

Kirk grinned. "Really? That's so excellent!"

Four hours later, Kirk had learned that David really wanted to be held, or sit in his Snugli against one of their chests, when he wasn't being fed; that if McCoy was anything to go by, changing diapers was like riding a bike; and that breast milk wasn't nearly as weird in practice as it had always seemed to him in concept. Other than the physical touch requirement David was a pretty mellow infant, and Kirk figured he'd probably been handled by so many Marcus sisters at this point that he was used to new people swooping in and taking care of him. Kirk had been thinking about David off and on since he'd helped him into the world, but he found that David was hard to think about for too long, because it was just weird. Sure, Kirk had nephews and stuff, but his brother Sam had always been fatherly to him growing up. And McCoy, of course, was all Dad. But Carol wasn't really the motherly type. Yet here David was, all helpless and dependent and big-eyed and saying "take care of me" and you couldn't not do it.

When Joanna returned she looked dazed, which was par for the course when someone experienced the full-court press of Carol Marcus for the first time. She also had three dresses to show her father, and she ran into her room to change into the first one.

"Carol," McCoy said, "I hate to ask-"

Carol held up her hand. "My fault entirely," she said, "so my treat."

"I appreciate that, but-"

"No," she said flatly, sitting down. "Consider it your payment for taking care of David today. How was he?"

Kirk looked down to where David was asleep on his chest. "He was fine."

Carol nodded. "Mom says he's the most low maintenance baby she's ever seen," Carol said. "And before you say it, I have no idea where he gets it from. Certainly not me."

Joanna modeled the three looks, and they all agreed that the violet dress with the full skirt and princess neckline was the winner. "I know you don't care for your mother's taste in clothes," McCoy said, "but I'm pretty sure she'll have some jewelry to go with that. We'll pack it up for the weekend so she can see it in person."

"Okay, Dad," she said. She walked over to Carol. "Thanks!" she said, and gave her a big hug.

"Oh!" Carol said. "You're welcome!"

"Thanks, Jim," she said, giving him a kiss atop the head as she walked by since he still had David curled against his chest.

"I didn't do anything," Kirk said.

"You made it all happen!" Joanna said, and went back into her room.

Kirk turned to Carol. "What's that expression for?" he asked.

"What expression?" Carol asked.

"The one you get when you're scheming," Kirk replied.

"I wasn't scheming," she said. "Leonard, that was awfully classy of you, making sure your ex-wife is involved."

"Oh, well," McCoy said, "if she hadn't looked after Joanna this summer there wouldn't have been an Oscars for us in the first place."

"Then you're both classy," she said.

"I guess so," he said, and Kirk kept his face carefully neutral.

Joanna came back into the living room, now back in her jeans, and sat on the couch next to Kirk. "He's so little," she said.

Carol smiled. "Do you want to hold him?" she asked.

"Can I?" she asked, her eyes widening.

"Sure," Carol said. "You hold him while we pack up his life, and then you can put him in his seat."

Kirk handed him over, and Joanna was transfixed. "His mouth is perfect," she said.

Kirk laughed. "I think you've got another sitter for when you run out of sisters, Carol," he said.

"I think so," Carol said, and smiled.

Winona came into town the day before Oscars. Mother and son knew that a visit of longer than three days wasn't good for either of them, but Kirk also couldn't imagine taking anyone else with him to the ceremony. It would be cute, Kirk there with his mom and McCoy there with his daughter. Kirk had never been nominated before and had only attended once, right after the first Bibi Besch movie, as Carol's escort when she presented an award. That was crazy enough, and Carol took so much time getting ready that they were nearly late, probably the last ones to go in, though Kirk always wondered if she hadn't planned that so the photographers could get the best view of her dress. You never knew with Carol.

Kirk got up around eight and went for a swim, then zipped down to the Waffle House with Winona to meet up with his crew. From there, Gaila and Uhura took Joanna and Winona over to Carol's house to get ready. Carol's price from her stylist for the debacle with Joanna was to do the accessories for all the ladies, and arrange for hair and makeup at her house. It was a nice treat for Winona and Joanna, and Kirk was grateful for it; Winona and Carol had always gotten along.

The men, including Chekov, Scotty and Sulu, went to Kirk's place for the best Rock Band tournament ever, which kept at least some of the nerves away. Even still, McCoy was looking a little green around the gills. They had a late lunch of quesadillas before Geordi, McCoy's personal shopper from Barney's, showed up with a men's barber in tow, some enormous man named Worf. While Geordi made sure they all had the right socks and cufflinks and studs and whatever else to go with their tuxes, Worf wrestled their hair and critiqued their shaves. Even Spock was coiffed to perfection before they were allowed to get into the cars and go get the ladies. Khan met up with them there, and some pictures were taken before they finally got on their way to Hollywood and the usual completely insane traffic.

Kirk was in a car with his mother, McCoy and Joanna. McCoy had teared up when he saw Joanna, though Kirk was pretty sure he'd deny it if asked. Winona was striking as ever in the soft blue dress her son had bought for her, her greying hair in an elaborate up do. She had also, apparently, spent some time with the baby.

"That David is a charmer," she said.

"He's pretty great," Kirk agreed. "Kinda chill."

"Yes, he's a happy baby," she said.

Kirk nodded, but said nothing; he really didn't want to know Winona's thoughts on babies. He'd always tried to be understanding of his mother's difficulties after his father died, but when he'd taken care of David that afternoon at McCoy's house, and held him in his arms, he couldn't imagine looking at a helpless little baby like that and not wanting to do everything for them. And that wasn't a conversation to have with Winona in a limo headed to the Academy Awards. "What stars do you want me to introduce you to, Mom?" he asked.

"Oh I don't know," she said. "I wouldn't mind seeing Chris Pike again, if he's there."

"He'll be at the party afterwards," Kirk said. "I'll make sure you get some time to talk to him. No one else?"

"You're my star, Jim," she said, and Kirk decided to believe it, if only for the night.

"Thanks, Mom," Kirk said. "Let's listen to some music, can we do that, driver?"

"I've got my iPhone here," McCoy said.

Kirk smiled. "Of course you do, Bones," he said, and they listened to R.E.M. all the way to the theater-appropriate, since that band now always made him think of Georgia, and That Which Survives, and riding in a car with McCoy.

Will Riker was waiting at the end of the red carpet to wrangle them down the line of press. Some of the fans on the bleachers were shouting Kirk's name, so he signed a few things before heading over to the bank of photographers. Riker kept he and McCoy together as they moved along the press line, answering the same questions they had been since the nominations were announced but with the added, "Ralph Lauren" for Kirk and "Calvin Klein" for McCoy. McCoy actually kept his cool pretty well, maybe because Joanna was there, and maybe because it was finally almost over.

They got inside with thirty minutes to spare. Winona and Joanna headed off to the ladies' room while Kirk and McCoy procured champagne. Spock and Uhura were already seated, and McCoy and Kirk took their seats directly behind them. The actors filed in soon after, and they were all sitting pretty close to each other on one of the aisles, Khan in the second row and the rest of them in behind him.

Kirk leaned over to McCoy. "You ready, Bones?"

McCoy took in a deep breath. "As I'll ever be," he said.

Later, Kirk could only remember the night in a haze. The producers of the show had gotten a Broadway type to host, so there was a proper opening number with singing and dancing-old-fashioned, sure, but it felt appropriate. Then the usual jokes at the audience's expense, something about Khan retiring from being a master criminal to raise Russian children in Georgia that they all pretended to laugh at.

One of those still-hot white-haired English actresses came on stage and Kirk held his breath, then jumped up and shouted when she called out Khan's name. Kirk had kept his promise, a promise Khan actually mentioned in his acceptance speech, so whatever else happened would be gravy.

Chekov and Miri came on stage then, Chekov giving a hug to Khan as he walked past. They presented the best animated film, which Kirk supposed was a joke since they were both Disney stars. Then a musician Kirk hadn't heard of but McCoy had won best song and McCoy cheered.

Original screenplay was next, and McCoy sat ramrod straight next to Kirk.

"Smile, Bones," he said. "There's a camera."

So McCoy smiled nervously, holding Joanna's hand and Kirk's, and when they called his name he squeezed them even harder, then hugged Kirk, kissed Joanna and bounded up on stage and made a speech not unlike his WGA speech. Kirk mostly remembered his grin, Joanna's happy tears, and how the audience applauded.

Joanna slid in next to Kirk to make room for the seat filler and it was all those short film and documentary awards that make or break office pools, the winners having to come up to the stage from the cheap seats in the back.

McCoy got back from the press room and asked, "What'd I miss?"

"Not much," Kirk said. "Did you kill any reporters?"

"Nope," he said, grinning. "I was a good boy."

McCoy got to see his buddy Mark Piper win adapted screenplay, and then they all held hands for Gaila. When she won they jumped some more, Uhura was crying, and then Gaila started giggling before thanking Uhura, Kirk, McCoy, Khan, Chekov, Spock, everyone ever, and Scotty for being her light, which Kirk thought was sweet.

Not long after that it was time for That Which Remains to be presented as a nominated film, which they all had agreed should be done by Carol. She was the one who'd set everything into motion; she was the person closest to the production without being a part of it; and besides, what befit a movie star more than to make her first public appearance after having her baby at the Academy Awards? She was in her usual teal, corseted within an inch of her life to both hide the baby weight she hadn't lost yet and make the most of her "bonus tits" as she liked to call them. They'd kept her appearance under wraps as much as possible, and she hadn't wanted to walk the red carpet anyway, so the audience reacted with surprised cheers. She smiled graciously.

"Apparently what my friend Jim Kirk does to pass the time while I'm off having a baby is direct an award-winning film!" she ad-libbed, and the audience laughed. But she stuck pretty close to the script after that. "That Which Remains stars Pavel Chekov as Walter, who comes home from his first year of college to the news that his father is dying. Over that final summer, with help from a no-nonsense nurse, he comes to accept his father's fate. That Which Remains is about courage, hope and disappointment; loss, love and life. Gaila and Khan have already received Academy Awards tonight for their performances. Produced by my friends Spock and Nyota Uhura from an Academy Award-winning script by my new friend Leonard McCoy and directed by Academy Award nominee and my old friend Jim Kirk, this is That Which Remains."

The clip they chose was the dish-washing scene that had caused all the trouble on set. Now, it was the scene Kirk was the proudest of.

Kirk's attention wandered a little through the next few awards. Narada got a bunch of the effects, editing and visual awards, which was fine; the movie was mostly effects and probably deserved it, and anyway Kirk's team had won those effects awards in the past. He didn't begrudge Nero jumping around like a lunatic at his seat so much as he didn't need to see it.

At the last ad break, with just the four major awards left, McCoy turned to him and said, "How ya holdin' up?"

Kirk shrugged. "I'm just glad it was me who had to wait and not you," he said. 'You would have vibrated your seat right out into the aisle by now."

"Probably," McCoy said, chuckling.

Kirk looked around the audience. At the other breaks there had been a good bit of seat jumping, with everyone eager to talk to rarely-seen friends, but now they were all too tired or too nervous to bother. Nero caught Kirk's eye and gave him a thumbs-up and a smile, which Kirk returned.

"What the hell is he up to?" McCoy said.

Kirk turned to McCoy, who was scowling fiercely in Nero's direction. "You're hilarious, you know that?" he said, laughing.

Spock turned around in his seat. "Good luck, Jim," he said, and they shook hands.

"You too," Kirk said. "And you, Ms. Uhura."

Uhura smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Kirk."

The break over, Kirk settled back in his seat. Actor and actress were Robert April and Sarah Poole, the two leads from The Cloud Minders. Kirk was glad that they won, since they'd won most of the other acting awards. "Think we should make a romance, Bones?" he asked over the applause.

"I don't know about a romance," McCoy said. "Romantic comedy, maybe."

Kirk's heart came up in his throat when Jonathan Archer came out on stage; he hadn't known his idol was going to present Best Director. Archer's career had inspired Kirk in so many ways, particularly on That Which Remains, and now he hoped even more that he, and not Nero, would get the award.

No muss, no fuss in this presentation. Archer read out the names, they each smiled for the camera while the audience applauded, and then he opened the envelope and everything went silent. Archer was smiling as he looked at the name-what could that mean?

"James T. Kirk," he said.

Kirk blinked, and wondered what he was supposed to do next.

McCoy poked him. "Get up, you dumb ass. You just won an Oscar."

Kirk kissed his mother, and then hugged everyone that was between him and the stage, though he was still a little dazed. Jonathan Archer shook his hand-Jonathan Archer shook his hand-said, "Good job, Kirk," and handed him the statue.

"So!" he said. "I feel like we've all gotten up here and said a long list of people, all of whom deserve our thanks, and I'll just say thank you to my entire crew, because each one of them, whatever they were doing, contributed to making this movie what it was. I'd also like to thank everyone at Fleet for being so encouraging, Carol for having a baby-" the audience laughed then, and Kirk laughed with them-"my agent Janice Rand who put this script into my hands, and Christopher Pike for everything he's done for me." He looked out into the audience and found Spock. "Spock, who's like my brother. I've never made a movie without him and I never want to. And Nyota and Leonard, who came into our cozy little partnership and just fit so well that it was like they'd always been there. My mom, who's a really great date. And finally thanks to all of you, and all the moviemakers of the past. You inspire me every day." He held up the statue and stepped back from the mike as the audience applauded.

Kirk didn't go to the press room after he got off stage, as Best Picture was next. The stage went dark and then, in a pool of light, stood the actress affectionately known in the industry as "Number One." She needed no introduction, just the audience's applause as she walked up to the microphone. She was semi-retired now, only taking a few roles here and there, and most of those on stage. She didn't need to do anything she didn't want to; after all, she had two statues of her own and plenty of popular success on top of that.

"Wow," she said as the applause died down. "With a reception like that I feel like I should be saying 'I'm Mrs. Norman Maine.'" She paused for the laughter of those in the audience who caught the reference. "Well, I am Mrs. Christopher Pike, and he is alive and well and making a lot of trouble backstage, so let's get on with it. The nominees are: Catspaw, The Cloud Minders, Dagger of the Mind, Narada, and That Which Remains. And the Best Picture of 2008 is-" she opened the envelope and smiled, and Kirk knew, he fucking knew as she looked down into the audience. "Get up here, you two. That Which Remains!"

Kirk was shouting as he jumped back out on the stage, and as soon as Spock had gotten up the stairs he jumped into Spock's arms, Oscar in hand, his legs around Spock's waist. "We did it, man! We did it!"

"It would appear so, Jim," Spock said.

Kirk jumped down and went to the mike while Uhura was getting the statue from Number One. "Nyota's going to talk but I want everyone up here. Pavel, Bones, Gaila, Khan, Scotty, Sulu, everyone up here!" He stepped back, letting Spock and Uhura soak up the spotlight while he hugged everyone as they came up on stage, keeping McCoy by his side.

"Wow, this is, um, this is really overwhelming!" Uhura said. Spock stood beside her and took her hand. "I'm a d-girl! This is the first movie I've produced!" The crowd laughed. "So I have to thank Spock and Jim for letting me into their process, because while they're nothing alike, when it comes to making movies they have one mind. Thanks to Chris Pike for assigning me to this project and giving us the freedom to do as we pleased. Thanks to Leonard McCoy for writing such an amazing script, and Gaila, Khan and Pavel for bringing it to life, and the entire cast and crew, and the state of Georgia for being so welcoming. Thanks to everyone who's seen the movie or is going to after tonight. And thanks, very much, to the Academy."

Uhura stepped aside and Spock leaned into the mike. "The people on this stage would like to thank all of our fathers, and all of our mothers."

And that was it. After almost a year, it was over. It was over, and they had won.

Kirk, Spock and Uhura had to go through the press room and then it was on to the Governor's Ball, where they ate like a starving tribe and Joanna had her promised first glass of champagne. Carol was there, too, and Kirk was pleased that she'd simply attached herself to the That Which Remains crew as though she'd been in the film; it was very Carol of her, and in a way she had been a big part of it. Glad handing was a lot more fun when you were the one being glad handed, Kirk found, especially when one of the glad handers was Nero. Not that he saw it that way, of course.

"Kirk!" he bellowed. "Looks like we tied up!"

"Did we?" Kirk asked, smiling. "How'd you figure?"

"Five and five!" Nero said, grinning.

"Oh," Kirk replied. "In all the excitement I kind of lost track myself."

"Well," Nero said.

"And the way I see it," Kirk went on, "we've gone five-for-five, while you've gone five-for-nine. We didn't lose to anyone, and we got the big prize. I'd say we're pretty damn satisfied around here."

"As well you should be," Nero said. "You made a moving little film there."

"Thanks," Kirk said. "Likewise, I'm sure." They shook hands.

As soon as Nero was out of earshot, Scotty said, "Meow!"

"I know, right?" Kirk said, grinning. "Okay, let's get to the Fleet party. Pike's already texted me three times."

In his years as a director, Kirk had become very good at herding cats, which came in handy on occasions such as this. He had his crew out and in their limos in fifteen minutes, and they were off to see Pike.

The Fleet party was at the Four Seasons, and Kirk went right up to Pike, his mother on his arm. "Winona!" he said. "Aren't you a sight?"

"Hello, Chris," she said, and gave him a hug, then sat down next to him. "How have you been? Has my boy been driving you to distraction?"

Pike shrugged. "That's what he does best. But, you two got me my statue years ago, for Best Documentary, so I thought I'd return the favor."

"Thanks," Kirk said.

"Don't mention it," Pike said, in a tone that meant, "really, we will speak no further of this," so Kirk left them to it and went in search of a drink. Uhura was talking to her coworkers-well, soon to be former, but that hadn't been announced yet-and Spock was sitting with Scotty and Sulu, back to the wall and observing as he always did at parties. Number One was gliding around hostessing it up, and Kirk caught Gaila staring at her with admiration, while Khan had as big a gaggle of admirers here as he had after the BAFTAs. Kirk found McCoy and Joanna on a couch and joined them, carrying with him three glasses of virgin punch.

"You know, Jo," he said, "if you want to follow your dad into the industry you should be chatting up Pike, and he'd give you an internship or something."

"Yeah," Joanna said, shrugging.

"She wants to write novels," McCoy said.

"Ah," Kirk said. "Then you should talk to Spock."

"I know!" Joanna said, excited. "Dad told me. But I don't have to do that tonight."

"No," Kirk replied. "Tonight's just for fun."

The Fleet party was like the good kind of family holiday-Kirk had been at the studio for so long that he knew everyone on the lot and they were all there, congratulating him as one of their own, their pride in him so evident that he was relieved he hadn't let them down. He made his way back over to Pike a bit later, and the man patted the chair next to him.

"Well, you can thank Nyota for wearing me down," he said, "but even though you stole her out from under my nose, we'll find a bigger bungalow for you at Fleet."

Kirk's eyes widened. "Really?" he asked.

"Don't make me repeat myself," Pike said irritably. "I just can't imagine the lot without you, all right?"

Kirk smiled. "You know it was really Spock who stole her from you," he said. "He's the one who charmed her, not me."

"Yeah," Pike said, looking at the two of them talking in the corner, their heads close together. "It's the darnedest thing, isn't it?"

Winona was ready to go home after that, as was Joanna, so Carol took them home in her limo.

The remaining crew hit the Vanity Fair party last, and the room was packed with winners, fellow nominees, and other Hollywood types. McCoy's action-star clients were practically lined up to congratulate him, and also themselves on keeping him employed through the lean years, and McCoy was gracious enough to let them. Sulu and Chekov could finally sit together without attracting attention, though they were still not doing much canoodling, and Scotty and Gaila were mostly just beaming at each other. Kirk was getting another drink at the bar when Spock came up to him, hand in hand with Uhura.

"Apparently Nero has been saying that since he has an Oscar already he's happy to let you have one now," he said.

"Really?" Kirk asked. "My god this is so high school." He rolled his eyes.

"Is that what it is?" Spock asked. "I thought it was just pettiness on his part."

Kirk smiled a little. "Pretty much."

"You talking about Nero?" McCoy asked as he joined them at the bar. "I'm gonna sock that guy in the jaw if he's not careful."

"What happened now?" Kirk asked.

"Oh, one of my clients-Nero didn't know I was writing for the guy, didn't know the lines the actor seemed to have come up with on his own were all from me. I guess he'd thought I'd never touched any of his movies." McCoy drained his glass, set it down on the bar, and motioned the bartender for another. "Idiot, I've done everyone's movies."

"Except mine," Kirk said.

"Yeah, but that's not true anymore, is it?" McCoy asked.

"Nope," Kirk said. "From now on it's all you, baby."

Kirk and McCoy finally poured themselves into the limo around two a.m., not really drunk but under the influence. They were so exhausted physically and emotionally that all they could do was slump down against the seat and lay their heads back. Tomorrow Winona would go home and Kirk's life would go back to normal, only it was this new normal where Spock had Uhura and Carol had David and Kirk wasn't sure what he had other than this statue.

Well, he had his Bones, sure, but he wasn't really sure what that meant. He sighed.

"What was that for?" McCoy asked.

"Just thinking," Kirk replied. "I'm sorry that I fucked up the whole Joanna's dress thing."

"What?" McCoy said, sitting up slightly. "You didn't fuck it up, Jim. You fixed it."

"That was Carol."

"You called her."

"Yeah, well," Kirk said. "You were just so angry-understandably-and I-"

"Well, I got angry because it's so tough to raise a girl in this town," he replied. "Joss sees a lot of young dancers with eating disorders and all kinds of body image problems and we've worked hard to make Joanna feel strong. She danced when she was little, and she rides horses now, and it helps that she sees her body as a tool that can do things, rather than just how she looks in a swimsuit."

"She's a good kid," Kirk said.

"Yeah, she is," he replied.

They pulled up outside of McCoy's house not long after that.

"Well, this is me," he said, sitting up a bit and fishing his keys out of his pocket. He turned and looked at Kirk, staring so long that Kirk squirmed a little, then clasped his hand in Kirk's and kissed the back of it. "Thanks, Jim" he said.

"Thanks, Bones," Kirk replied.

"Talk to you soon," he said, and got out of the limo and went into the house.

All the way home, Kirk couldn't get the look on McCoy's face out of his mind. There was something to it, and he certainly didn't want to fuck it up. But he had the niggling sense that there was a ball in his court and he wasn't sure how to play it.

When Kirk woke up the next day, he was still weary, so he went down stairs without bothering to put in his contacts or throw a t-shirt on. Winona had coffee brewing and the griddle out on the stove, and was sitting at the kitchen counter using one of the guest laptops. "Watcha making, Mom?" he asked.

She looked up. "Tiberius's corn flapjacks," she said. "I didn't realize so many people on Facebook watched the Oscars! My wall is full!"

Kirk smiled. "It makes the news, you know," he said.

"Well, I can leave answering these until later," she said. "You're a real hometown hero now, James."

"I guess so," Kirk said, scratching his stomach and reaching for his mug.

"But I did want to show you a couple of pictures. You know your brother put all those family photos online for me."

"Yeah," Kirk replied.

"I thought you'd get a kick out of these," she said, turning the computer around.

Kirk pulled it closer as Winona hopped off the stool and started up the stove. "You took pictures of David yesterday?" he asked.

"No," she said. "That black and white one on the left is your father, and the one on the right is you."

Kirk blinked, adjusted his glasses, and looked again. "Huh," he said.

"Newborns often look like their fathers," Winona said, spreading oil on the surface of the griddle. "Evolutionary advantage. It's after a month or so that they start looking like themselves."

Kirk turned to Winona. "What are you trying to say?" he asked.

"You can't be that surprised," she said. "I don't know what that girl means in not telling you. I'm sure she has her reasons. But I also know how you feel about fathers." She smiled, a little sadly. "You've certainly shared that with me. And I know the kind of man you are. Now, do you want three flapjacks, or four?"

"Four," Kirk said. "Maybe five." He'd need them, to get through the day he suspected was ahead of him.

As soon as Winona left for the airport, Kirk got on his bike and went over to Carol's. He had the code to her gate and the keys to her house, and he walked in quietly. It was after one and the house was dark, though Carol had said she was managing to nap when David napped. Kirk slipped up the stairs and into the nursery, and sure enough David was on his back in his crib, sleeping. Kirk looked down at the baby, so tiny in his little t-shirt with the spaceship on it. He wasn't sure how long he'd stood there staring before David suddenly opened his eyes and looked at him. He couldn't quite remember if David's eyes could focus at this age-books! He needed books, he'd ask Bones-or if David could recognize him, but he decided it didn't really matter, today.

"Hey, David," he whispered. "Turns out I'm your dad! I'm sorry I couldn't be here the whole nine weeks you've been alive, and I'm gonna make up for that. But I'm so glad you're here. I'm not entirely sure what a dad does other than love you a lot, so we'll have to make it up as we go along, okay?"

David was listening, he thought, but also trying very hard to reach his mouth with his toes while waving his hands around. Kirk reached down into the crib, putting his fingers on David's stomach where the t-shirt had ridden up. David made a face, one Kirk recognized from the day he and McCoy had looked after him as the "I'm thinking about crying" face.

"Don't do that," Kirk said, and picked David up. "Let's not wake Mom up just yet, huh? Because your mother does not like to be woken up." Kirk settled into the nearby rocking chair and let David curl up into his chest. "But I bet you know that. Or I bet she makes an exception for you." Kirk smiled. "I am going to tell you so much about your mom, and she's going to tell you so much about me. But we really do love each other. Remember that."

David had been squirming a little, snuggling closer, but now he was still, his slow even breathing indicating he'd gone back to sleep. Kirk kept stroking his soft baby skin as he rocked slowly in the chair.

He looked up and saw Carol standing in the door. No telling how long she'd been there.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

"Why didn't you ask?" she replied.

"I trusted that you'd think it was something I'd want to know. I asked Spock and he agreed."

"So you asked Spock and not me?" she said, moving further into the room. "No, Jimmy. You didn't want to know."

Kirk sighed. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Carol picked up a toy and started fumbling with it. "I was scared. When I found out I was pregnant I knew I wanted to keep the baby. I was scared you'd try to get me to do something ... else."

Kirk's jaw set, angrily. "Only assholes try to get girls to get abortions or not get abortions. What the hell, Carol?"

"You never said anything about wanting a family."

"Neither did you."

She sat down in another chair. "I'm sorry, okay? I panicked. I couldn't be sure." She sighed. "You aren't going to want to marry me now or something, are you?"

"Okay, you have got to stop thinking of me as a character in a Lifetime movie and concentrate on the man who's been your friend for nine years."

"Look at this room," she said. "I've become a character in a Lifetime movie."

Kirk looked around at the fluffy clouds and smiling sun on the walls. "I think it's sweet," he said.

David made a little snuffling noise then, and tried to bury his head further into Kirk's chest.

"He's going to want to eat in a minute," she said.

"Oh," Kirk said. "You want him, then?"

Carol hesitated, then stood up. "Yeah, let me take him." As Kirk cleared out of the rocking chair she said, "Just give me a few days? Then we can talk about how this is going to work."

Kirk handed her the baby. "Okay," he said. He kissed David's head. "I'll see you soon, kiddo."

David didn't seem to mind. As soon as Carol sat down and opened her robe his mouth latched onto her breast.

"Impressive," Kirk said.

Carol rolled her eyes. "David, when you grow up, don't be vulgar like your father," she said. "Go away, Jim. I'll call you."

"Okay," he said, leaving, "but if you don't I still have keys."

Kirk sat on his bike in Carol's driveway trying to decide what to do next. He knew what he wanted to do, though it felt a little selfish. He glanced at his watch and thought, well, fuck it, and headed for Venice.

From the porch Kirk could see McCoy sitting on his couch, reading a book and taking some notes. The Oscar was sitting on his coffee table. McCoy looked up, hearing his steps. "Come in," he said, setting the book down. "I was going to text you and see what you were up to this week."

Kirk read the book upside down. "Fitzgerald again?"

McCoy shrugged. "Thought I'd see if I could make something out of that pirate story," he said.

Kirk smiled and nodded. "Cool."

McCoy stood. "I only have about fifteen minutes before I have to pick up Jo, but you're welcome to hang around and stay for dinner if you want to," he said.

"Well, I have some stuff I have to say," he replied. "To you. So I guess I should say it now."

"Okay," McCoy said, and leaned against the archway to the dining room.

Kirk nodded. "So it turns out that I'm David's father. Which, maybe you already figured out, maybe not, but it's true, and Carol and I are going to work something out."

"I ... suspected," McCoy admitted. "Once I saw him in person."

"Yeah," Kirk said. "So I'll probably be asking you about books and stuff because you're pretty much an awesome father."

"Thanks. Happy to help."

"But that's not why I'm here. I mean, I did want to tell you that, but it isn't what I have to say."

McCoy looked confused, but nodded. "All right," he said.

Kirk cleared his throat. "We make a good team, you and I, and not just for making movies. You're good at calling me on my bullshit and I'm good at calming you the fuck down and we had great sex that one time-well, three times. I've been told that while I'm an amazing director as a boyfriend I kinda suck, but I'd try hard to be awesome if I was your boyfriend. And it isn't just oh, I'm a dad now and I need help, though that's true because I didn't have a dad so I'll have no idea what I'm doing but you're a great dad and I can tell that you had a great dad, too. But anyway I was thinking about you before I knew about David, and I understand what you said about Carol but I promise, Bones, that's totally over and different now and basically-"

"Shut up, Jim," McCoy said, advancing on him and looking a little wild-eyed.

"Bones?" Kirk asked.

"I said, 'shut up, Jim,'" McCoy said, and kissed him.

It took Kirk a half-second to get with the program but get with it he did. And then McCoy pulled away.

"Why'd you stop?" Kirk asked.

"Because nice as this is, I still have to go pick up my kid."

"How about I get her," Kirk said, "which is faster because I have the bike, so we can make out for fifteen more minutes. Then while I'm gone you can start dinner?"

McCoy grinned. "Why Jim Kirk," he said, "that's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me."

If it had been a movie Kirk would have ended it there. Pull back from our united lovers, out the door, pan to the ocean, the end. But what actually happened is that when Kirk returned with Joanna, McCoy handed him his Costco card and the keys to his car and asked him to go get some paper towels. Kirk nodded because he wasn't an idiot-of course McCoy wanted to talk to Joanna. Kirk got paper towels and an enormous container of early strawberries and filled the gas tank and generally dawdled. When he returned McCoy and Joanna were taking dinner out of the oven.

"Hey, berries!" Joanna said.

"Yeah," Kirk replied. "They looked good." He set them down on the counter, suddenly very nervous even though he'd been to their house for dinner many times.

Joanna looked at him with that serious McCoy expression. "Don't mess it up," she said, wagging her finger.

"I'll do my best not to," Kirk replied, just as serious.

"Okay," she said, and that was that.

Kirk left after dinner, and it was weird but also kind of awesome to have some goodbye kisses with McCoy out on the porch. "Come over this weekend?" he asked. "And by weekend I mean, show up after you drop Jo off at school Friday morning and leave my place Monday afternoon to pick her up."

"I'd like that," McCoy said, and Kirk could feel feel McCoy's eyes on him as he got on his bike and drove away.

Kirk went over to Spock's place from there, after checking that he was home and that Uhura was around. It just felt right to do it all in one day. But he did bring them a bottle of wine.

"So," Kirk said, "what I have now that I didn't have when I saw you last is a boyfriend and a son. Or well, I kinda had both but I didn't know it, only now I know it and they know it and so you should know it too."

"I see," Spock said, and thought for a bit. "It is more logical for Carol to have had your baby, than anyone else's."

"I think so," Kirk said.

"Am I right in presuming that the boyfriend in question is Leonard McCoy?" he asked.

"Yes," Kirk said. "I guess we should have called our production company 'Abba.'"

"Because we are Swedish?" Spock asked.

"What does Joanna think of this?" Uhura asked.

"She threatened me," he said, smiling at her, "and then we had dinner."

"Well, I'm happy for you, Jim," she said, and gave him a hug.

"Spock?" Kirk asked.

Spock cocked his head. "It cannot be a coincidence," he said, "that we all have had such significant change in our lives over this past year. Perhaps the party was the precipitating event? You and Carol slept together that night, and the movie was made at least in part because Carol became pregnant. And making the film certainly brought us in closer contact with new people."

"Maybe it was the planets coming together, Spock," Kirk said. "Maybe our little group had grown too incestuous and we needed fresh blood, and Carol was the first person to figure that out." He paused. "Maybe we all needed to make a movie about our dads so we would grow the fuck up."

"Perhaps," Spock allowed. "It is an interesting puzzle. In any case, good luck to you, Jim. I have every confidence that this relationship will not have the same outcome as the others."

"Oh really?" Kirk asked. "Why?"

"In part because you are correct in saying that we have matured in the last year," he said. "And McCoy is a mature adult as well."

"Well," Kirk said, "I hope you're right. At least, I'll do everything I can to prove you right."

"I know you will," Spock said.

At midweek Kirk and Carol went to his lawyer Gary Mitchell's office with her lawyer and a notary public. They signed a bunch of forms that said that Kirk was David's father, and gave them to Gary who knew someone in Sacramento who could speed the process along. "Two weeks, tops," he said, and Kirk would be on the birth certificate. But David would keep Carol's name-after all, Carol had nothing but sisters, but Kirk's brother had kids. Then Gary and Carol's lawyer referred them to a confidential family practice that could draw up a simple joint custody agreement. It was strangely easy to put things straight, after all the months of subterfuge.

They went to lunch after the forms were filed, just the three of them, and it was weird and nice and overwhelming and wow, he had a family now. Like, officially.

"I have a crazy idea," Carol said.

"And that's different than your other ideas how?" Kirk asked.

"I'm going to wean at six months," she said. "Mom thinks I should nurse for a lot longer but ugh, no. I can't work worrying about saggy tits."

"Okay," Kirk said.

"So maybe you can take him then."

Kirk cocked his head. "For how long?"

"I don't know, two months? That's long enough for a nice spa vacation, maybe travel a little. Treat my sisters."

"You sure you can handle the separation?" he asked. "It doesn't have to be that drastic. I'm going to see him all the time now."

"I'm not sure I can, but I want to make it up to you," she said, "the two months you didn't get to be his dad. And-I need to make sure I don't lose myself."

"Well, we can't have that," Kirk said. "That doesn't help anyone." He leaned over to David, who was playing with a blanket in his carrier. "Especially not you!"

"Do you mean that?" she asked.

Kirk smiled at her. "We'll work it out," he said. "We always do. I mean, sure, with a lot of shouting and ridiculousness, but still. We made all these movies and stayed friends through that. Bones and his wife had a pretty bad breakup but they seem able to co-parent their kid. Why can't we?"

Carol smiled at him then, really smiled, and Kirk realized how much those months of hiding and worry had clouded her features. But they were wide open now. "You're right," Carol said. "We absolutely can."

McCoy arrived at Kirk's house at eight a.m. on Friday morning, and Kirk was waiting for him with a cup of coffee and some corn fritters.

"What's in the bag?" he asked.

"Clothes?" McCoy said. "A swim suit?"

"What makes you think you'll need those?"

"For when we leave the house?"

"What makes you think we'll be doing that?"

"Well, at the very least," he said, "I'll need a clean shirt and different pants to pick up Joanna. She's a teenage girl; she notices things like that. And while she knows I'm here, she doesn't need to feel like I'm on a four-day-old walk of shame."

"That, I'll allow," Kirk said, stepping forward and pulling McCoy into his arms. "But otherwise it's naked time. I've got plenty of sunscreen."

"Good," McCoy said, muttering against Kirk's lips. "I wouldn't want to burn anything."

They kissed then, just standing in the kitchen making out, and it struck Kirk again how normal it all was. He hadn't had anything like normal in a long time.

Kirk pulled back. "Let's take this upstairs," he said.

McCoy just nodded; he seemed more interested in getting in some more kisses than speaking.

Kirk grabbed the fritters on the way out of the kitchen-sex burned calories after all-so he walked up to the bedroom behind McCoy, and wasn't that a sight. McCoy was setting his bag down in the corner, bending over, and suddenly Kirk heard himself saying, "God I can't wait to fuck you."

McCoy stood up, turned, and raised an eyebrow. "Why wait?" he asked, kicking off his shoes and laying on the bed, leaning back on his elbows.

"And when's the last time you were fucked, Bones?" Kirk asked, sitting next to him. "Because knowing you, you didn't let any of those tricks from West Hollywood fuck you."

"You're right about that," McCoy said. "The last time there was a person fucking me? Yeah, that was a long time ago. The last time there was a cock-shaped object up my ass? That would be yesterday."

Kirk grinned and bounced a little on the bed, then straddled McCoy. "Yesterday? You were totally thinking about me, weren't you?"

McCoy glanced away. "I knew I shouldn't have told you …"

"No, no, it's awesome!" Kirk said. "What, you think I haven't been jacking off thinking about you since Monday night? Though I admit I was thinking more about those cocksucker lips of yours." He leaned in and kissed them. "Since I had a memory for that."

McCoy's hands were on Kirk's biceps, steadying him. "Good memory," he said. "Let's make some more." He slid his hands under Kirk's shirt, sliding it up and off, then sat up slightly so Kirk could do the same for him.

"Lovely," Kirk said, leaning down for another kiss and rubbing against McCoy, feeling him hard and hot under his jeans, just as Kirk was himself.

"Jesus, Jim," McCoy said eventually, "you gonna fuck me with that thing or what?"

Kirk sat up, smirking. "You're going to be a bossy, bitchy little bottom aren't you?"

McCoy grinned, entirely unrepentant, and damn was it a good look on him. "Pretty much," he said.

Kirk got up off the bed to grab the lube, while McCoy shucked his jeans and boxers and pulled the covers down.

"By the way," McCoy said, "not only a bottom. Just to be clear."

"Oh, I know," Kirk said, tossing him the lube and getting naked himself. "I'll be riding you before the weekend is over. Hell, maybe even before the day is over." He grabbed a condom and joined McCoy on the bed, laying on top of him and between his invitingly spread legs.

They made out for a little longer, despite McCoy's earlier protest, because the kissing was addictive, and they really did have the entire weekend. Kirk picked up the lube eventually, squirting some onto his fingers and slipping them between McCoy's legs. They were still kissing, and Kirk could feel McCoy react as one, then two fingers slid inside him, stretching him. When Kirk added a third McCoy pulled back, gasping, though his arms still held Kirk close.

"One of these times," Kirk said, "I'm gonna watch you prepare yourself. God, must be so hot."

"You're doing just fine," McCoy said, a little hitch in his voice.

"Why thank you," Kirk said, smirking. He pulled his fingers out of McCoy, who hissed in response, and wiped them off on the sheet before reaching for the condom.

"Let me do that," McCoy said, taking it from him.

Kirk sat up on his knees and watched as McCoy rolled on the condom and then slicked him up with lube, giving his balls a grope for good measure. Then McCoy grabbed a pillow, slipped it under his back, and spread his legs even further. Kirk just stared.

"What?" McCoy asked grouchily, knitting his brows.

Kirk had to grin at that, McCoy being his usual self and reassuring Kirk that yes, this was actually happening in the real world. "Nothing," he said, lining himself up and pushing into McCoy. "Just you."

McCoy hummed and Kirk went slow, relishing the tight fit, feeling McCoy's body shifting around him. McCoy tipped his hips up just a little more, making the angle easier, and wrapped his legs around Kirk's waist.

Once he was all the way in, he asked, "Ready?"

McCoy rolled his eyes. "I was ready ten damn minutes ago."

Kirk snickered. "You're gonna regret that."

"Make me," McCoy replied.

"Gladly," Kirk said, and got to work with long, deep strokes that hit that sweet spot more often than not, gradually gaining speed until he was shifting the bed with every thrust, pounding into McCoy with all he had, and McCoy was taking it with a little smile on his face.

And of course he was a talker. "Fuck yeah, Jim, that's good, just like that," he said, digging his heels into Kirk's back. "Keep going, open me right up darlin'."

Hot as that was, Kirk decided his goal should be to get McCoy to incoherence, so he leaned forward, his cock hitting its target with every thrust now. McCoy reached up to fist himself but Kirk batted his hand away, replacing it with his own, and McCoy was doing nothing but moaning now, which was more like it. Then he made another sound, low and guttural, and he was coming all over Kirk's hand and their stomachs. Didn't take much after that, between the way McCoy's ass clutched at his cock and how damn gorgeous he was when he came, red-faced and gasping, for Kirk to go over the edge as well. One last long thrust and he collapsed atop McCoy, panting and sticky.

McCoy's hand was softly stroking Kirk's hair when he came back down from the high, and he smiled, planting a kiss on McCoy's chest before slipping out of him and rolling off him and onto his back. "That what you wanted, Bones?" he asked.

McCoy chuckled, getting rid of the pillow and turning onto his side, propping his head up with one hand. "Yeah," he said. "That was just what I wanted."

Later-some time on Saturday afternoon when they were bothering to actually talk again-McCoy said, "So I was thinking about a rom-com."

"Oh, the pirate movie?"

"Not that," he said. "I think that's gonna take a while. This one's about a career woman who always meant to have a family, but just never met that right guy."

"Okay, standard," Kirk said, "but I like that she's thought about it."

"Yeah. So she starts working with this single father, something collaborative."

"The rom-com demo loves single dads."

"The guy has sacrificed his career to be a more involved dad, though he always thought he'd set the world on fire."

"Right, right. Nice role-reversal."

"Maybe he's a writer? And she's his editor, and he's finally publishing his novel?"

"Or maybe," Kirk said, sitting up in bed, "he's a lawyer, but he's always been kinda small time, personal service, hang out a shingle, and suddenly he's in on a big case, and she's the litigator brought in to help him?"

"Yeah, I like that better," McCoy said.

"That can give us the non-romantic b-plot."

"She helps him become a better lawyer, and he turns out to be the right guy."

"She doesn't have a baby by her ex-boyfriend in the middle of all this, does she?"

"No," McCoy said, shaking his head. "We can skip that part."

"An unnecessary complication."

"In the narrative," McCoy said. "Narratives are sleek and clean, like a well-oiled machine. Life, it seems to me, is a long series of unnecessary complications."

Kirk raised his eyebrows. "You're really philosophical after sex, you know that?"

"Yeah," McCoy said, looking away. "It's a thing."

"I like it," Kirk said.

"Anyway," McCoy said, and Kirk was pretty sure he was blushing, "I don't think David is an unnecessary complication."

"Me neither. I think he's tiny and awesome and terrifying."

"That sounds about right," McCoy said.

"So, we'll make the movie?"

"Yeah, let's make it. But for now," McCoy said, and dragged Kirk back down onto the bed.

Kirk laughed. "Sex and movies?" he asked. "I love you, Leonard McCoy."

"Damn right you do," McCoy said.

"When did you know?" McCoy asked.

It was early Sunday morning and they'd made eggs and potatoes and were sitting out by the pool, eating.

"Christmas," Kirk answered. "Well, that's when I knew I loved you, anyway, and when I started to think you might love me. But it wasn't until Oscar night that I really knew, when you said I hadn't fucked up, with Joanna."

"You didn't."

"I know, but when you said it-I don't know, something about it."

"I wanted to kiss you."

"Yeah, maybe that was it. You can do that now if you want to."

"All right," McCoy said, and did.

"When did you know?" Kirk asked.

"Christmas. Or really, when I invited you for Christmas because I was so upset that you might be alone. That was when I knew I loved you. About you, well, sort of at Christmas, when you were so protective of me, but I was still hesitant because so many people had warned me about you."

"For good reason," Kirk said.

"I don't know about that," McCoy said, "but I knew for sure when you took care of Joanna, and then seeing you with David. That's when I knew you loved me, and I thought it was about time I went after something I wanted."

"Well, I'm glad it was me, and I'm glad you did," Kirk said, and kissed him. They were quiet for a bit and then he said, "You know what? Let's call the Oscars our first date."

McCoy smiled. "That sounds good to me," he said.

eleven