Shayera joins him quietly, barefoot and probably more anxious than she'd care to admit. The problem with having superhero friends is that they always tend to be in some sort of mortal peril, and it's not always possible to help them out. She knows that. She knows she needs to choose her battles. She knows that getting involved in a war of this nature would only make things worse - that Diana herself has requested that the JLA stay out of it. She knows that running off to war would be the worst thing for the reconnecting that she and Katar have been doing, and are still doing. As much as she might wish it was that simple, it's not like they can just pick up where they left off after five years and so much heartache. She knows that she can't do everything
( ... )
She takes a deep breath. Drawing some strength from him, maybe.
"When you left - or... died, or whatever that was, I thought... I just had to wait. Half the damn JLA has died and come back. But you were gone so long, and I -"
Tears starting all over again. Damnit.
"I never blamed you. I love you so much. I couldn't blame you. But when you didn't come back, I just... there was no closure. You just disappeared. And you chose to go, and when you didn't come back, I thought maybe part of it was because you didn't... love me as much as I love you, or... you didn't want to come back... because I wasn't enough."
She's fighting to regain her composure and losing spectacularly.
"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life, and I still... I still lost you... and for all I know, I'm just going to lose you again, and I can't - I can't do that - and I only lost you because I failed you, and I'm so sorry, Katar..."
He just holds her tighter. Completely accepting her lack of composure. She's safe to lose it with him.
His throat constricts with her words. His voice is only a whisper.
"Gods, Shayera... none of this is your fault, I swear by Falomer. You were right to leave me. The man you left was no longer the man you loved... and I didn't have the sense to let that be my wake-up call. You did everything you could."
A kiss to the top of her head.
"And seven hells, don't you ever, EVER doubt how much I love you."
"No, trying is not enough," he manages, firmly, despite the softness of his voice, eyes meeting hers. "You need to know. You need to understand
( ... )
It's her turn to listen now. Her turn to hold him tighter, as if to reassure him that she's here and she's listening, and she's not going anywhere.
She knows he loves her, even when she has trouble figuring out exactly why (and, gods, he hopes to be worthy of her) but to lay out her insecurities and have him dismiss them directly...
She has never been so glad to be wrong.
Nor has she ever felt so guilty (well... OK, she's felt AS guilty, but not more). All those years in hell, he'd been thinking of her, loving her, and she'd been trying to forget and failing miserably.
"I understand," she says. "Gods, Katar, I -"
No. Enough apologies. Moving past that.
"There's no way you could ever... not be worthy of me. None. I'm not some... hero, or... I'm not like you. I'm not good and selfless. I just want to be with you. OK? I just want us to be together now."
As hard as it is sometimes, they're getting back to normal. Being with Katar always makes things seem better, or at least more hopeful.
She takes her time, almost memorizing the kiss itself. She's been doing that a lot lately, just enjoying his presence. It's helped her accept that yes, he really is here and they really are together.
When the kiss finally does break, she gives a short, almost-self conscious laugh.
"OK. I think I'm done. No more breakdowns for at least another twenty-four hours." A small grin. "Promise."
"It does, a bit," she says thoughtfully. "I mean, I'd say there's nothing that can happen now that could possibly surprise us, but then something would just come along and prove me wrong."
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"When you left - or... died, or whatever that was, I thought... I just had to wait. Half the damn JLA has died and come back. But you were gone so long, and I -"
Tears starting all over again. Damnit.
"I never blamed you. I love you so much. I couldn't blame you. But when you didn't come back, I just... there was no closure. You just disappeared. And you chose to go, and when you didn't come back, I thought maybe part of it was because you didn't... love me as much as I love you, or... you didn't want to come back... because I wasn't enough."
She's fighting to regain her composure and losing spectacularly.
"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my entire life, and I still... I still lost you... and for all I know, I'm just going to lose you again, and I can't - I can't do that - and I only lost you because I failed you, and I'm so sorry, Katar..."
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His throat constricts with her words. His voice is only a whisper.
"Gods, Shayera... none of this is your fault, I swear by Falomer. You were right to leave me. The man you left was no longer the man you loved... and I didn't have the sense to let that be my wake-up call. You did everything you could."
A kiss to the top of her head.
"And seven hells, don't you ever, EVER doubt how much I love you."
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"I'll try not to."
Then she sighs.
"Just... don't leave me like that again," she says. She's quiet, almost pleading now. "Please."
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She knows he loves her, even when she has trouble figuring out exactly why (and, gods, he hopes to be worthy of her) but to lay out her insecurities and have him dismiss them directly...
She has never been so glad to be wrong.
Nor has she ever felt so guilty (well... OK, she's felt AS guilty, but not more). All those years in hell, he'd been thinking of her, loving her, and she'd been trying to forget and failing miserably.
"I understand," she says. "Gods, Katar, I -"
No. Enough apologies. Moving past that.
"There's no way you could ever... not be worthy of me. None. I'm not some... hero, or... I'm not like you. I'm not good and selfless. I just want to be with you. OK? I just want us to be together now."
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"You're my hero."
Then, a kiss, to drive that point home.
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As hard as it is sometimes, they're getting back to normal. Being with Katar always makes things seem better, or at least more hopeful.
She takes her time, almost memorizing the kiss itself. She's been doing that a lot lately, just enjoying his presence. It's helped her accept that yes, he really is here and they really are together.
When the kiss finally does break, she gives a short, almost-self conscious laugh.
"OK. I think I'm done. No more breakdowns for at least another twenty-four hours." A small grin. "Promise."
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"Good to hear. But I will always be here to pick up the pieces, should it happen again."
A peck on her forehead.
"It feels... like the old days, doesn't it? The two of us, alone against everything?"
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There's a slight tease to his smile.
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He nods his head toward the doorway.
"Come on. Let's do that thing you were talking about. That 'being together' thing."
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