broke...
Every once in a while my financial situation gets bad enough so that I'm not just broke, I _feel_ really broke. I look in my wallet and think "OK, how am I going to make that last until next pay day?" I look at the petrol gauge on the car, the bills that are due soon, and the bank balance all together, and it starts to stress me out a bit.
I'm not normally a particularly stressed person. In fact, people who've spent a lot of time with me will most likely tell you that unless you get under my skin, I'm about as casual as they get. Being absolutely broke however, stresses me out. This week, this month however, has been a bit much. Not unusual when you come back from a holiday which you couldn't really afford in the first place, when you spent more money than you intended when you originally couldn't afford it! My bank account is at its overdraft limit, my credit card is maxed out. I've got a phone bill, an electricity bill, an empty tank of petrol, and almost no firewood left just as winter really starts to hit. There's ten dollars in my wallet which will pay for either ice hockey on Sunday, or pool on Monday, but not both, and certainly not anything else in between, including any sort of a social life on Friday, or doing anything with Alex over the weekend - including taking him ice skating which he's been pestering me about for a couple of weeks, or fishing, which requires the buying of bait.
It always stressed me out a little bit. Once when I was a student I got really stuck and spent my week's money after one day on stuff, and then couldn't afford food for the week. I had to borrow money from a friend and that was hard - asking for money is not something I enjoy doing. It's worse when you're a parent though. If it was just me I could walk to and from work every day, and beg lifts off friends. I could live off whatever food was left in the house until there was almost nothing left, and I would cope.
These aren't options for parents however. I need to pick my son up in a car, he can't walk ten kilometres back and forth each day. I need to provide him with proper meals and lunches. I need to be able to take him to his soccer game on Saturday, and make sure that the phone and the electricity stay on.
The silly thing is, that when I'm broke, or know I'm broke, I don't delay the more 'optional' expenditure. I'll buy things that I need, but don't necessarily need immediately. I'll pay off debt and then find myself short of money to buy food. I'll go to Sunday night ice hockey and finish up the week shorter on cash, rather than skip a game I don't need to play. I'm not entirely sure what that says about my priorities - I'd prefer to make myself stressed during my week, so I can enjoy that hour on the ice, or that time playing pool on a Monday, rather than skip those two activities and find myself with more money for buying food or to keep the car going for an extra couple of days.
It's not all bad news though. Pay day is a whole week away, but I've got house guests at the moment, and she gets paid today, so hopefully a tank of gas, and payment of the electricity will be forthcomnig as 'rent'. She's already stocked up the cupboards so I haven't needed to buy much at the supermarket. I would dearly love to live in a two income household - I had this for a few months early last year and it was financial bliss - I was finally able to start to repay debts. Both fortunately, and unfortunately, this two-income-ness is just a temporary thing, so hopefully I'm a bit more financially secure in a couple of weeks when she moves back to her own home. Maybe the credit card will be near its limit, rather than at it. I think I've long since stopped thinking that I could ever pay it off.
I won my pool match on Monday, though I played terribly for 2 and a half frames, before pulling the shot of the evening off and then finishing off in style. That helped my team win for the second week in a row. And won ice hockey 6-2, putting us into the finals, and came third in our quiz, only one point behind the winners. So it's not all bad.
I'm not normally a particularly stressed person. In fact, people who've spent a lot of time with me will most likely tell you that unless you get under my skin, I'm about as casual as they get. Being absolutely broke however, stresses me out. This week, this month however, has been a bit much. Not unusual when you come back from a holiday which you couldn't really afford in the first place, when you spent more money than you intended when you originally couldn't afford it! My bank account is at its overdraft limit, my credit card is maxed out. I've got a phone bill, an electricity bill, an empty tank of petrol, and almost no firewood left just as winter really starts to hit. There's ten dollars in my wallet which will pay for either ice hockey on Sunday, or pool on Monday, but not both, and certainly not anything else in between, including any sort of a social life on Friday, or doing anything with Alex over the weekend - including taking him ice skating which he's been pestering me about for a couple of weeks, or fishing, which requires the buying of bait.
It always stressed me out a little bit. Once when I was a student I got really stuck and spent my week's money after one day on stuff, and then couldn't afford food for the week. I had to borrow money from a friend and that was hard - asking for money is not something I enjoy doing. It's worse when you're a parent though. If it was just me I could walk to and from work every day, and beg lifts off friends. I could live off whatever food was left in the house until there was almost nothing left, and I would cope.
These aren't options for parents however. I need to pick my son up in a car, he can't walk ten kilometres back and forth each day. I need to provide him with proper meals and lunches. I need to be able to take him to his soccer game on Saturday, and make sure that the phone and the electricity stay on.
The silly thing is, that when I'm broke, or know I'm broke, I don't delay the more 'optional' expenditure. I'll buy things that I need, but don't necessarily need immediately. I'll pay off debt and then find myself short of money to buy food. I'll go to Sunday night ice hockey and finish up the week shorter on cash, rather than skip a game I don't need to play. I'm not entirely sure what that says about my priorities - I'd prefer to make myself stressed during my week, so I can enjoy that hour on the ice, or that time playing pool on a Monday, rather than skip those two activities and find myself with more money for buying food or to keep the car going for an extra couple of days.
It's not all bad news though. Pay day is a whole week away, but I've got house guests at the moment, and she gets paid today, so hopefully a tank of gas, and payment of the electricity will be forthcomnig as 'rent'. She's already stocked up the cupboards so I haven't needed to buy much at the supermarket. I would dearly love to live in a two income household - I had this for a few months early last year and it was financial bliss - I was finally able to start to repay debts. Both fortunately, and unfortunately, this two-income-ness is just a temporary thing, so hopefully I'm a bit more financially secure in a couple of weeks when she moves back to her own home. Maybe the credit card will be near its limit, rather than at it. I think I've long since stopped thinking that I could ever pay it off.
I won my pool match on Monday, though I played terribly for 2 and a half frames, before pulling the shot of the evening off and then finishing off in style. That helped my team win for the second week in a row. And won ice hockey 6-2, putting us into the finals, and came third in our quiz, only one point behind the winners. So it's not all bad.