CROSSOVER FIC: Five Things Methos Said to the Doctor. 5/5 (HL/DW)
Title: Five Things Methos Said to the Doctor (5/5)
Author: jinxed_wood
Fandoms: Doctor Who/Highlander
Genre: Humour
Characters: 10th Doctor, Methos, and a gaggle of Daleks
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 946
Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine…
Previous Parts ONE / TWO / THREE / FOUR
Five Things Methos Said to the Doctor - Part Five
“What exactly are you looking for?” Methos asked, as the Doctor shuffled along the wall, his ear pressed up against it.
“Ssssh,” the Doctor said. “We don’t have much time.” He pushed himself away from the wall and frowned at it. “Hmm, that’s funny…ah, of course!” A smile lit up his face as he stared at his shoes. “How interesting.”
Methos sighed, tapping his foot impatiently, as the Doctor fell to his knees and put his ear to the floor. “I don’t think there’s a train coming,” he drawled.
“Hmm?
Methos watched in disbelief as the Doctor licked the floor, then spat, as if he’d suddenly found something disagreeable in his mouth. No doubt about it, he was a very strange individual…well, he’d met worse, he supposed. He never really understood Byron’s attachment to that goat, for instance…
“Found it! Better stand back.” The screwdriver glowed, and Methos hastily retreated as the part of the floor began to liquidise.
“What, the hell, is that?” he asked as the Doctor scrambled to his feet.
“That, my dear…what are you calling yourself nowadays, anyway?”
“You mean you don’t already know?” Methos teased, then relented as the Doctor quirked an eyebrow. “Call me Adam.”
“Nice, I like the way you picked your words…and you may still call me the Doctor.
“Great, now that we’ve got the pseudonyms out of the way, could you tell me what happened to the floor?”
“Oh, that’s easy, there is no floor. There is only the Gateway.”
“Why thank you, Padiwan,” Methos said, sarcasm lacing his voice. “Now could I have that in English, please?”
“Ooh, a pop reference. There’s hope for you yet.” The Doctor grinned as he dove for the nearest vat, and started pulling wires out of its base. “No time to explain, just to get ready to run.”
“Why did I know you were going to say that?”
“Exterminate! Exterminate!”
“Doctor, I think the bad guys have found us,” Methos said, his eyes trained on the open doorway.
“No need to worry,” the Doctor said. “By the time they get here they’ll have bigger things to deal with.”
“Oh, in that case…” Methos muttered under his breath.
“I heard that,” the Doctor said genially, as he fused the mess of wires together. “Have a little faith.”
“I’d rather a have a weapon,” Methos said, warily watching the door. “Preferably something along the lines of a rocket launcher.”
“Nah, too messy, don’t want to bring down the coliseum down on top of us, do we?”
It wasn’t just what he said, it was the way he said it, Methos mused as he studied the back of the Doctor’s head. As if he came to a conclusion by a completely different route to everyone else…his world must be very strange place. Methos tried to imagine an entire civilisation made up of Doctors…and then shuddered.
“Hello, Earth to Methos? Time to go.”
Methos blinked, and stared at the Doctor as he jumped up. “I thought you didn’t know my name.”
The Doctor’s eyes filled with humour. “I said I didn’t know what you were calling yourself,” he pointed out smugly. “I never said I didn’t know your name.”
“Why you little-”
The vats suddenly began to gurgle, and the Doctor grabbed his arm. “I wasn’t kidding when I said it was time to go,” he said.
“Exterminate! Exterminate!”
“Run for your life!” the Doctor crowed. The words had the sound of practice.
They had barely gained the corridor when the first Dalek floated into view, and they both skidded to a halt.
Methos caught the Doctor’s eye. “The other way?” he asked.
“The other way,” the Doctor confirmed. They spun around and ran…for their lives.
Methos wasn’t really sure in what direction they were going anymore, he just followed the Doctor’s lead, which was disturbing on many levels. Did he really trust the Doctor with his life? Apparently, he did.
Huh.
“This way,” the Doctor yelled, grabbing his arm as he barrelled through a doorway and up a flight of steps.
“Why are we in such a hurry?” Methos asked, slightly out of breath. “They don’t seem to be following us.”
“Because if we’re not on the other side of the door at the top of these steps in thirty seconds, we’re going to be sucked into the nether-world and die a horrible, and very final death.”
“Good enough for me.”
They burst through the door, finding themselves above ground once more, and the Doctor slammed it behind him, resting against it as he caught his breath. “Five,” he panted. “Four, three, two….one.”
There was nothing. No sound, no boom, nothing.
Methos raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure it worked?” he asked.
“Not really, no,” he admitted. “Want to find out?” Not waiting for an answer, he opened the door a crack and poked his head in.
“Well?” Methos asked impatiently.
“See for yourself,” he said, opening the door wide. On the other side was a small stone alcove the size of a cupboard.
“Where have the steps gone?” Methos asked, frowning.
The Doctor shrugged. "The Daleks don’t exist anymore, so neither does their secret base.”
“Handy that,” Methos observed.
The Doctor smiled happily. “Yes, isn’t it? Shall we go?”
“Go where?”
The Doctor clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I have a tie to collect.
Methos kept his lips firmly shut; there was no way in hell he was going to ask.
The Doctor sighed. “You’re no fun. Come on, I’ll drop you off on the way there.”
And Methos grinned at his back as the Time Lord led the way.
FINIS
Author’s note: Firstly, my apologies to Kerrovonsen. This was supposed to be a response to your prompt but Methos had a lot more than five things to say to him! And I don’t believe I’m going to do this, but I’m actually going to write a follow up - mischief5, it’s all your fault!
P.S. To those of you who are new to my LJ, I wrote another 5 times meme fic a while back, called Five Times Methos met Jack (Harkness) on Vacation.
Author: jinxed_wood
Fandoms: Doctor Who/Highlander
Genre: Humour
Characters: 10th Doctor, Methos, and a gaggle of Daleks
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 946
Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine…
Previous Parts ONE / TWO / THREE / FOUR
Five Things Methos Said to the Doctor - Part Five
“What exactly are you looking for?” Methos asked, as the Doctor shuffled along the wall, his ear pressed up against it.
“Ssssh,” the Doctor said. “We don’t have much time.” He pushed himself away from the wall and frowned at it. “Hmm, that’s funny…ah, of course!” A smile lit up his face as he stared at his shoes. “How interesting.”
Methos sighed, tapping his foot impatiently, as the Doctor fell to his knees and put his ear to the floor. “I don’t think there’s a train coming,” he drawled.
“Hmm?
Methos watched in disbelief as the Doctor licked the floor, then spat, as if he’d suddenly found something disagreeable in his mouth. No doubt about it, he was a very strange individual…well, he’d met worse, he supposed. He never really understood Byron’s attachment to that goat, for instance…
“Found it! Better stand back.” The screwdriver glowed, and Methos hastily retreated as the part of the floor began to liquidise.
“What, the hell, is that?” he asked as the Doctor scrambled to his feet.
“That, my dear…what are you calling yourself nowadays, anyway?”
“You mean you don’t already know?” Methos teased, then relented as the Doctor quirked an eyebrow. “Call me Adam.”
“Nice, I like the way you picked your words…and you may still call me the Doctor.
“Great, now that we’ve got the pseudonyms out of the way, could you tell me what happened to the floor?”
“Oh, that’s easy, there is no floor. There is only the Gateway.”
“Why thank you, Padiwan,” Methos said, sarcasm lacing his voice. “Now could I have that in English, please?”
“Ooh, a pop reference. There’s hope for you yet.” The Doctor grinned as he dove for the nearest vat, and started pulling wires out of its base. “No time to explain, just to get ready to run.”
“Why did I know you were going to say that?”
“Exterminate! Exterminate!”
“Doctor, I think the bad guys have found us,” Methos said, his eyes trained on the open doorway.
“No need to worry,” the Doctor said. “By the time they get here they’ll have bigger things to deal with.”
“Oh, in that case…” Methos muttered under his breath.
“I heard that,” the Doctor said genially, as he fused the mess of wires together. “Have a little faith.”
“I’d rather a have a weapon,” Methos said, warily watching the door. “Preferably something along the lines of a rocket launcher.”
“Nah, too messy, don’t want to bring down the coliseum down on top of us, do we?”
It wasn’t just what he said, it was the way he said it, Methos mused as he studied the back of the Doctor’s head. As if he came to a conclusion by a completely different route to everyone else…his world must be very strange place. Methos tried to imagine an entire civilisation made up of Doctors…and then shuddered.
“Hello, Earth to Methos? Time to go.”
Methos blinked, and stared at the Doctor as he jumped up. “I thought you didn’t know my name.”
The Doctor’s eyes filled with humour. “I said I didn’t know what you were calling yourself,” he pointed out smugly. “I never said I didn’t know your name.”
“Why you little-”
The vats suddenly began to gurgle, and the Doctor grabbed his arm. “I wasn’t kidding when I said it was time to go,” he said.
“Exterminate! Exterminate!”
“Run for your life!” the Doctor crowed. The words had the sound of practice.
They had barely gained the corridor when the first Dalek floated into view, and they both skidded to a halt.
Methos caught the Doctor’s eye. “The other way?” he asked.
“The other way,” the Doctor confirmed. They spun around and ran…for their lives.
Methos wasn’t really sure in what direction they were going anymore, he just followed the Doctor’s lead, which was disturbing on many levels. Did he really trust the Doctor with his life? Apparently, he did.
Huh.
“This way,” the Doctor yelled, grabbing his arm as he barrelled through a doorway and up a flight of steps.
“Why are we in such a hurry?” Methos asked, slightly out of breath. “They don’t seem to be following us.”
“Because if we’re not on the other side of the door at the top of these steps in thirty seconds, we’re going to be sucked into the nether-world and die a horrible, and very final death.”
“Good enough for me.”
They burst through the door, finding themselves above ground once more, and the Doctor slammed it behind him, resting against it as he caught his breath. “Five,” he panted. “Four, three, two….one.”
There was nothing. No sound, no boom, nothing.
Methos raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure it worked?” he asked.
“Not really, no,” he admitted. “Want to find out?” Not waiting for an answer, he opened the door a crack and poked his head in.
“Well?” Methos asked impatiently.
“See for yourself,” he said, opening the door wide. On the other side was a small stone alcove the size of a cupboard.
“Where have the steps gone?” Methos asked, frowning.
The Doctor shrugged. "The Daleks don’t exist anymore, so neither does their secret base.”
“Handy that,” Methos observed.
The Doctor smiled happily. “Yes, isn’t it? Shall we go?”
“Go where?”
The Doctor clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I have a tie to collect.
Methos kept his lips firmly shut; there was no way in hell he was going to ask.
The Doctor sighed. “You’re no fun. Come on, I’ll drop you off on the way there.”
And Methos grinned at his back as the Time Lord led the way.
FINIS
Author’s note: Firstly, my apologies to Kerrovonsen. This was supposed to be a response to your prompt but Methos had a lot more than five things to say to him! And I don’t believe I’m going to do this, but I’m actually going to write a follow up - mischief5, it’s all your fault!
P.S. To those of you who are new to my LJ, I wrote another 5 times meme fic a while back, called Five Times Methos met Jack (Harkness) on Vacation.