Fic: Five times Jack and Methos met on vacation (PG13) (2/4) DW/HL
Title: Five times Jack and Methos met on vacation
Author: jinxed_wood
Fandoms: Highlander/Doctor Who
Characters: Methos, Jack, a Dalek and a really pissed off Egyptian
Genre: Humour
Rating: PG13 - for sword fights, murderous Daleks, and sexual innuendo
Previous Parts: One
Edited to add: Sorry about the formatting, it should be fixed now J
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but after twenty-nine centuries, the memory can get a bit hazy. Especially when you’re a little busy holding onto your head
California, 1864 CE
Grimacing, Methos head-butted the irate Egyptian and reached for his sword. “I told you, I never looked at your wife!”
“That’s not what she said,” Ramset roared.
Methos bit his tongue. Sofia’s wandering eyes, and Ramset’s refusal to see it, was well known among Immortal circles. One way or another, a head was going to roll tonight. “I don’t need this,” Methos muttered as he pulled his sword free. “I’m supposed to be on vacation, damn it!
“Don’t worry, Adams, by the time I’m finished with you, you will be on a permanent vacation.” Ramset snorted, grinning at his own wit.
Methos rolled his eyes. “Let’s get this over with,” he snapped, raising his blade. With a scream of steel, their swords met and-
“Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here! I thought I recognised your voice.”
“Oh great, we have an audience, ” thought Methos, not daring to turn his head around. “Just what I need.” Cursing under his breath, he tried to keep his mind on the problem at hand. Namely, the six-foot angry Egyptian who was trying to part his head from his shoulders.
“Yo, Michael, don’t you remember me?”
“Michael, who the hell is Michael?” The thought went rambling through Methos’s mind as he parried another swipe, wincing as the force of the Egyptians sword carried down his arm
“Still waving that great big chunk of metal around, I see. Hey, that guy’s good. Oh! Look out!”
“Do you mind? I’m a little busy here,” Methos sniped irritably, leaning back just in time to avoid Ramset’s blade.
“Not doing so well, are you?” Methos glared as the stranger strolled into his field of vision and waved his fingers, leaning against the wall, “My, oh my, you’re getting creamed.”
“Will you shut up?”
“Who’s your crazy friend, Adams?” Ramset muttered, through gritted teeth.
“Don’t ask me,” Methos returned. “I thought he was with you.”
“Hey guys, guys, please, no need to fight over me. There’s enough of Jack for everybody,” the stranger drawled, his smile widening suggestively into a brilliant grin.
For a moment, the two immortals froze in place and locked eyes. “Did he just say what I think he said?” the Egyptian said, uncertainly.
Methos shrugged in commiseration. “Probably,” he muttered, before launching another attack.
“So, which century are you from, Michael; fiftieth, fifty-first? Where’s your ship?” the idiot yelled over the din. “Got any room for a passenger?” Blithely disregarding the life and death battle, the stranger - Jack - sat on a crate and made himself comfortable while Ramset forced Methos back against the wall.
“For the first, and last, time, my name is not Michael. It’s Adams, Doctor Benjamin Adams, now would you bugger off and leave me in peace.” Methos grunted, trying, and failing, to break the deadlock Ramset held him in.
“I’d love to, my friend,” Jack said, sighing. “But I just can’t do that.”
“And why is that,” Methos panted grimly as he tried to lever the edge of Ramset’s sword away from his neck.
“Exterminate, exterminate!”
“Ah, right on cue,” Jack said cheerily as he pulled out a small, puny, shiny …
Methos’s eyes narrowed, a distant memory surging to the surface. “Wait a minute, I remember you,” he said, menace creeping into his voice.
“Exterminate!”
“Sorry, can’t stop to reminisce, Michael - oops, sorry, Benjamin - and now would be a good time to duck.”
The alley exploded with light and Methos threw himself to the ground just in time to feel the whistle of something flying through the air where his head had been.
“You. Will. Be. Destroyed.”
Methos risked a glance upward, only to be greeted by Ramset’s glowering features. ”Who is this man?” Ramset yelled over the explosive din.
“I don’t know and I don’t want to know!” Methos shot back, the glimmer of something large, metallic and suspended in mid air catching the corner of his eye.
“Maybe we should continue this some other time,” Ramset suggested, worry showing in his eyes.
“I think that may be a very good idea. Shall we make a run for it?”
Heads down, the two immortals dashed from the alley, not daring to look back.
Part Three
Author: jinxed_wood
Fandoms: Highlander/Doctor Who
Characters: Methos, Jack, a Dalek and a really pissed off Egyptian
Genre: Humour
Rating: PG13 - for sword fights, murderous Daleks, and sexual innuendo
Previous Parts: One
Edited to add: Sorry about the formatting, it should be fixed now J
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but after twenty-nine centuries, the memory can get a bit hazy. Especially when you’re a little busy holding onto your head
California, 1864 CE
Grimacing, Methos head-butted the irate Egyptian and reached for his sword. “I told you, I never looked at your wife!”
“That’s not what she said,” Ramset roared.
Methos bit his tongue. Sofia’s wandering eyes, and Ramset’s refusal to see it, was well known among Immortal circles. One way or another, a head was going to roll tonight. “I don’t need this,” Methos muttered as he pulled his sword free. “I’m supposed to be on vacation, damn it!
“Don’t worry, Adams, by the time I’m finished with you, you will be on a permanent vacation.” Ramset snorted, grinning at his own wit.
Methos rolled his eyes. “Let’s get this over with,” he snapped, raising his blade. With a scream of steel, their swords met and-
“Well, well, well, fancy meeting you here! I thought I recognised your voice.”
“Oh great, we have an audience, ” thought Methos, not daring to turn his head around. “Just what I need.” Cursing under his breath, he tried to keep his mind on the problem at hand. Namely, the six-foot angry Egyptian who was trying to part his head from his shoulders.
“Yo, Michael, don’t you remember me?”
“Michael, who the hell is Michael?” The thought went rambling through Methos’s mind as he parried another swipe, wincing as the force of the Egyptians sword carried down his arm
“Still waving that great big chunk of metal around, I see. Hey, that guy’s good. Oh! Look out!”
“Do you mind? I’m a little busy here,” Methos sniped irritably, leaning back just in time to avoid Ramset’s blade.
“Not doing so well, are you?” Methos glared as the stranger strolled into his field of vision and waved his fingers, leaning against the wall, “My, oh my, you’re getting creamed.”
“Will you shut up?”
“Who’s your crazy friend, Adams?” Ramset muttered, through gritted teeth.
“Don’t ask me,” Methos returned. “I thought he was with you.”
“Hey guys, guys, please, no need to fight over me. There’s enough of Jack for everybody,” the stranger drawled, his smile widening suggestively into a brilliant grin.
For a moment, the two immortals froze in place and locked eyes. “Did he just say what I think he said?” the Egyptian said, uncertainly.
Methos shrugged in commiseration. “Probably,” he muttered, before launching another attack.
“So, which century are you from, Michael; fiftieth, fifty-first? Where’s your ship?” the idiot yelled over the din. “Got any room for a passenger?” Blithely disregarding the life and death battle, the stranger - Jack - sat on a crate and made himself comfortable while Ramset forced Methos back against the wall.
“For the first, and last, time, my name is not Michael. It’s Adams, Doctor Benjamin Adams, now would you bugger off and leave me in peace.” Methos grunted, trying, and failing, to break the deadlock Ramset held him in.
“I’d love to, my friend,” Jack said, sighing. “But I just can’t do that.”
“And why is that,” Methos panted grimly as he tried to lever the edge of Ramset’s sword away from his neck.
“Exterminate, exterminate!”
“Ah, right on cue,” Jack said cheerily as he pulled out a small, puny, shiny …
Methos’s eyes narrowed, a distant memory surging to the surface. “Wait a minute, I remember you,” he said, menace creeping into his voice.
“Exterminate!”
“Sorry, can’t stop to reminisce, Michael - oops, sorry, Benjamin - and now would be a good time to duck.”
The alley exploded with light and Methos threw himself to the ground just in time to feel the whistle of something flying through the air where his head had been.
“You. Will. Be. Destroyed.”
Methos risked a glance upward, only to be greeted by Ramset’s glowering features. ”Who is this man?” Ramset yelled over the explosive din.
“I don’t know and I don’t want to know!” Methos shot back, the glimmer of something large, metallic and suspended in mid air catching the corner of his eye.
“Maybe we should continue this some other time,” Ramset suggested, worry showing in his eyes.
“I think that may be a very good idea. Shall we make a run for it?”
Heads down, the two immortals dashed from the alley, not daring to look back.
Part Three