Best Friends
Best Friends- siwon/sooyoung; idkwhatgenrethisis; pg; chaptered-turned-oneshot because it's too short; 4,229 words
I was strolling around the park one fine day. I needed a break from everybody; from all the words and numbers, those stupid bodyguards, and the girls stalking me (yes, up until now I still have fangirls). The breeze was very refreshing. I have always liked the view of the river in the park. Everything was perfect. And yes, it reminded me of Sooyoung.
She’s my best friend, my ex best friend maybe. We first met when we were little kids. I hit her head with my Frisbee. Before, we were always together. She understood me, and I understood her. We both know the feeling of being liked by a lot of people because you are rich, or that sadness you get because both of your parents are so busy with their jobs. Or being forced to only doing things you’re supposed to do. And we’re each other’s only company. We were best friends because our dads were best friends too. But then they had a huge fight, both personal and in business, so two years ago my dad told me to never speak to anyone in that family again. Ah, so much for that friendship. They really did try to keep us apart.
This park is very special to us, well, for me it is. We used to take walks here together and just talk and talk. She’s the one who first brought me here. I really like the place. And in fact, I really like her too.
Too bad she still doesn’t know.
I saw her in the park that day. I was so happy. I ran up to her from behind and let out a shout to startle her. She was horrified and gasped. She turned around to face me, and I saw that beautiful face of hers.
After 2 years, she has not changed.
She let out a gleaming smile when she saw me. That smile, it made the sun rise up again even though it was already setting. I will try my best not to be corny, but really, my day was lit up that orange afternoon.
“Siwon oppa!!! I missed you!” She said then gave me a tight hug. It felt amazing hugging her again. Damn, I miss her a lot.
“I missed you too. How’s life?” I said with a smile.
“Fine really. Aahhh, it feels so good to be with you here again.” She replied.
We both let out giggles, not knowing what to say anymore. I just stared at her beautiful side view when she took a look at the wonderful view of the river beside us.
“So what you doing here?” I asked.
“You know, admiring nature, listening to the birds, taking my last stroll here.”
“Your last stroll?” I asked in confusion.
“I’m leaving.” She said.
My mouth fell open.
“I’m going to New York and study there starting this fall.”
I was shocked. After two years of the absence of her in my life, she’s completely leaving me? The news broke out to me so quickly. I was… I… I didn’t know what to think or do. Seriously, I like her. Scratch that, I might even love her already. Every night, I think of her. I try my best to reach out (although I know my father wouldn’t like it), but a lot of things get in the way. I can’t let her leave me. Yes, I let that happen before, but I don’t want it to happen again.
I froze on my spot. My face wore an expression of mixed shock and sadness. What to say? What to do?
“Uhm… Siwon? You okay?”
After a long silence, I replied. “No Soo, I’m not.”
She just looked down at her feet.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately. I… there were a lot of things happening and things I needed to do, plus our fathers… Siwon oppa, I’m just sorry.” She said. She used that voice she always uses when she apologizes to me. Like when she “borrows” my sandwich but never gives it back.
I stared at her. She notices, then our eyes meet. She was sincere. And like everyday, I wonder if she thinks about me too, the way I think of her.
“So, when will you leave?”
Our eyes were still locked to each other, and I can see that change of emotion. She looked more guilty.
“T-t-tomorrow…”
At that point, I really, really didn’t want to say anything anymore. Aside from the shock and sadness, I think I was getting angry too. That thing I felt in my chest when I heard that she was leaving, it turned to something different now, something that hurted me more. How can she not tell me? We were best friends. Oh yeah, we were best friends.
“I can’t believe this.”
I turned around and left. I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but I just really didn’t want to see her. I thought we were friends. Did she try to talk to me, at least secretly? Just to tell me that we might never see each other again for a really long time? Or that it would be much harder to find each other now? No. Maybe I was delusional; it was only to me that we had something really special.
As I left, she grabbed my arm. I think I wasn’t mad enough to shake it off me, so I just turned around. Well, she was still very beautiful, but she really had that guilty look in her face.
“Siwon oppa, I’m so sorry. I know I should’ve told you earlier. We could’ve fixed that friendship of ours that went astray. Maybe we could’ve bonded more, even behind our fathers’ backs. Siwon oppa we-“
She stopped talking when she felt a hand land on her shoulder. She turned and faced an old man in a black corporate suit wearing a pair of intimidating black glasses. I recognized him; he was her dad’s long-time head security guard, Mr. Han. I swear, behind those sunglasses, I knew he was glaring at me.
He stepped forward and put himself between me and Sooyoung. He bowed before talking.
“Ah, if I’m not mistaken sir, you’re Choi Siwon. Heir to… Choi Dong Hyuk Group of Companies? Yes…”
I gave him a small bow. As far as I know, he shouldn’t be here. Sooyoung had her own team of body guards. Being children of moguls, we are assigned a group of them, but Sooyoung and I always tried to get away from those creepy guys following us around. Well, so much of those good memories.
He just continued glaring at me. I think those bodyguards are still trying to keep Sooyoung and me apart.
He faced her and said: “Miss Sooyoung, your father’s limousine is waiting outside. He wants to talk to you. Let me escort you to him.”
Sooyoung bowed and followed him out of the park. She looked back at me a lot of times, her expression still the same. She gave me a small smile. I wondered if it will be the last time I’ll be seeing her. We never had the chance to say goodbye.
--
What just happened?
Oh yeah, Sooyoung is leaving for New York and I’m here lying in my bed feeling all beaten down with nothing I can do.
Oh man, I’m so selfish. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at her. I think I should’ve just understood her and everything. I hadn’t even said goodbye. Now she’s gone.
I started to reminisce. I remember that time when I offered her a strawberry when we were little. And then when we were graders, we hosed down our bodyguards while we were trying to water the plants at my house. We also threw bananas and tomatoes at them when we tried to imitate a food fight we saw on TV. During our teenage years, we started to have that deep emotional connection. All our problems and troubles, we shared it with each other. We went to the same university after. The students paired us up with each other and started teasing and saying that we’re a real couple. But Sooyoung will always say “No we’re not! He’s just my best friend! My big brother! Seriously!” At first I just agreed with her. It was true. But the more she said it, the more it didn’t feel right to me anymore. Then suddenly it hit me. I like her more than just a best friend. Just a few weeks after, our friendship was forced to break. We were kept apart. I tried calling her, but she changed her number. We went through the last two years of college without each other. At that time, I got new friends, nasty ones that I should not be hanging out with. I forgot about her for a while. I then realized that I missed her a lot. When I see her around, I take some time to observe her. She’s got new friends now too. Still, we didn’t communicate. And still, my feelings didn’t change.
I slapped myself. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT NOW LOSER, I thought. Just let her be. Just let her learn more stuff in her life. Just let her live a new life without me.
It’s 12:51. Nope, those feelings weren’t gone. I can’t sleep. I closed the lights. No, my eyes won’t close unless I see her face again. I looked at the apple tree outside my window. We used to climb up there and I’ll get her apples. I can still see us sitting there, years and years younger. I’m not angry at her, I’m angry at myself.
But as they say, better late than never.
--
Okay…. I can’t stop panting. After running for a (rather long) while I will pant, but then when I’ll stop I will just continue because I keep on thinking about it. It’s because of the nervousness. I’m not going to waste my efforts. I didn’t sleep and I bought last minute tickets to New York. My stomach is grumbling. I’m here sitting in the pre-departure area, still panting and with just a small backpack, waiting for my flight. Getting away from my bodyguards (and stalkers) was hard.
Finally. I need to get to that plane and go to New York. Maybe I can sleep now. I’m getting there. Let’s just hope she’ll accept me.
But what if she doesn’t? I can’t help but ponder at that. I’m not even sure at what I’m doing right now. Why am I going to New York without thinking much why I should? I can’t even think straight. What am I saying?
Oh, yes. I remember now. I’m going to go to Sooyoung and tell her I love her and make a total ass of myself. That sounds nice.
--
I’m thankful to my resources. They stalk my loved one for me when I can’t help but stare at the plane window because of fear. I finally got the address to her apartment. Funny, my uncle owns that building. I thought she couldn’t get any nearer.
So I finally land, and I go directly to that address. I can’t stay at the hotel first, I might not leave. I almost didn’t leave Korea and the plane. I’m still shaken, and I’m still not sure of what I am doing. Excuse me; I don’t make sense these past hours. I get a cab and rode off. New York is such a wonderful city. Sooyoung is such a wonderful person…
Okay. There’s a black car following the cab. They found me? No. NO. My bodyguards are not going to stop me from doing what I clearly what I want to do.
“Please drop me off here instead. Thank you.” My English is getting better.
I paid the driver and hide into an alley. We got a little farther away from the car (I think they were trying to hide themselves) and then we made a sharp turn and that’s where I got off. I hope the guards didn’t see me. I don’t know when was the last time I tried to hide from them. So I walked cautiously around, trying to understand where I am. I was lost. I walk around and around, but I always seem to go back to the alley where I first hid. What the heck…
One of them saw me. I put on my hood but they still recognized me. I started to run, and he immediately did the same. I turned to the left, and one more bodyguard saw me. I ran faster, turned another left, and then another one saw me. Three. I crossed the street, went into an alley, did a lot of turns, and then two more added. I was running around New York City like a freak, with 5 people in suits doing the same. All I did was run and walk and turn to the left and walk and run. I was pretty sure I was going back to where I have first been.
Tired and panting again, I was back at that alley. I lost them. Instead of going left I go right. I hit a couple of boxes on the street and I hear something crack. I think I broke something. Why are there boxes in the sidewalk? I tried to check, but instead I saw Korean characters written on the box’s flaps. Did it just say Choi Sooyoung? I look up and I see a plaque with the address texted to me on my phone. I picked up a box and I went inside the building.
So maybe that’s reason why the driver gave me a funny smile. I just told him to drop me off where I told him to in the first place. And now I keep on ending up in the same alley. Destiny? No. Ew. Well, maybe.
I climbed nervously up the stairs. My heart was beating fast (again). I don’t need more things in this box to break. Okay. Second floor. 7… 8… 9… Apartment 10. I held the huge box in one hand and I reached out for the doorknob. Breathe… breathe… I let go of the box when the knob turned by itself. The door opened and I saw her there, wearing a pink sweater and her long hair falling freely on her shoulders. She looked shocked and she put her hand over her mouth.
My mind went blank and I didn’t know what to do. I just looked at her face, looking a little haggard already. Still, she was very beautiful. Before I could even crouch down to get the box, she took my arm and pulled me closer for a hug. I felt a sense of warmth as she hugged me. Her arms were tight around my body, and after overcoming the shock I got when she held me, I wrapped my arms around her too. I felt her face dig in into my shoulder, as if looking for comfort. I smiled.
“Siwon oppa…”
“I’m here, Sooyoung.”
“I love you.”
What?
--
I pulled her away from me. I kept my hands fastened on her shoulders as I showed her my face of bewilderment. Did she just… did she just say that she loves me? She… loves me. Wow.
Her eyes suddenly grew big and her mouth formed an O. She shook my hands off her and ran inside her apartment. She tried to close the door but before she did I stopped it, with my now aching foot. I went after her, but she was ahead of me already and as I followed her to her bedroom I came face to face with a mint green door slammed shut seconds before I almost came in.
I knocked on the door. “Sooyoung?”
“Not now!”
“Please! I wanna talk to you!”
“Please leave! We’ll talk another time!”
“No! I need to tell it to you now!”
Momentary pause.
“Tell me what?” Her voice was softer now. She seemed to forget her seemingly accidental confession to me.
“Open the door and I’ll tell you.” I used my best convincing voice. After a pause, she opened the door. A face of embarrassment (or shame?) was her expression. She looked quite nervous, too.
“I love you, too.” I said to her.
She suddenly turned to a tomato. She looked away, with a sense of shock on her pretty face. She ran her hand through her hair like she was trying to figure out what to do. We met eyes again, mine totally intent on hers. Immediately she ran inside her bedroom like trouble was chasing her but before she can even get out of my reach, I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the living room.
“I’m going to say it again. I love you, Choi Sooyoung.”
I sincerely told her what I have felt for a very long time. I felt free. I was holding her hand, and we stayed still for a moment. I let the good feeling sink into me, and I hope that she’s doing the same. She told me she loved me, right? The way she said it and the feeling that I got, I knew it was real.
I was waiting for her to answer. She looked speechless, but I really wanted her to answer back. Maybe… we already said what we’re supposed to say. Words are enough. I need to show it to her.
I hugged her. I ran my fingers through her fragrant her. I let her head lay down on my shoulders. I just held her, letting her feel what I feel, and letting her sense my heartbeat. She hugged me back and I felt comfortable. We both felt comfortable. I did all this thinking about how much I love her and hope that I’ll ever hug her again.
When she pulled away she pinched me on the cheek and gave me a cute smile. I can’t help but give her a wide one of my own. I was really, really happy. We both were. Before I could forget, I unzipped my backpack and brought out the Woody doll she gave me once as a gift. It wasn’t really a gift, though. She had lots of Woody dolls, and I forced her to give one to me.
I showed it to Sooyoung, and I think a flood of good memories came back to her. She took it with her hand and we just smiled once more.
--
Woody dropped to the floor. I think my sudden kiss was the cause. My emotions overtook me and before I knew it, our lips have touched. It was sweet, and it was chaste. When we broke off, we still had those smiles and our arms were tightly wrapped to each other.
We sat in the soft blue sofa and decided to talk. But first we just laughed, and laughed and laughed. We were talking casually again, like before, but now with maybe an even better relationship.
“I still can’t bear to believe this.” Sooyoung said.
“Me, too. I was surprised, because I always thought you don’t feel, or won’t ever feel the same way.” I replied.
“Why?” She looked a little alarmed.
“I don’t know… It… it just felt like it, maybe. But that doesn’t matter, you love me now.” I smiled curtly as I said this, and she did the same. Her smile was rather short too, because then she seemed to realize how great she can hide her feelings. She was like this to almost everybody, even to Siwon and most especially her parents.
“You know, I came here last minute to tell you that I love you, before you can completely be out of my reach. I can’t sleep, or even eat. I know you’ll be angry with me for not eating, but you yourself are the only cure for that.” I continued.
Out of nowhere, she took a granola bar from behind her and gave it to me. I took off the wrapper and ate it with my hands. For a while I just ate and she just looked at me doing it. I think we were both thinking of each other.
“I realized I loved you when we were forced to be apart. I felt that way even before your absence, but the fact that I was really in love with you came to me when you were not there anymore.” Sooyoung said this without looking at me. I, on the other hand, never looked away from her face.
“Remember that night, when we were up on the roof, at your vacation house in Busan?” she said.
“We never went to the roof.”
“Get your memories straight, dumbass. Not the blue house, the red one.”
“Oh.” I remember. That cool night at the red house, we climbed to the roof to look at the stars which were surprisingly visible at the time. Then came an awkward moment…
“The stars were twinkling, and I checked to see if you had the same expression as mine. Instead my eyes landed on your lips and for some reason, I thought of kissing you.”
“Yeah. Then you leaned towards me and our faces were inches apart… and then you slapped me.”
She stifled a laugh, and I can’t believe she is still amused by that. I, for one, wasn’t; I thought it was romantic then it came out as a joke.
“I almost kissed you; but then I realized what I was doing, and I saw your expression, so I slapped you to make it look like I was messing with you.”
“You’re a pain in the ass.”
“Not to mention a pain in your heart.”
“Shut up.”
Note: I was filled with hope that she might actually like me when that happened. She looked like she was entranced by me. I almost leaned in to kiss her too. I was on the roof on a moonlit night, under a starry sky with the person I love. And then she acts like that. What a jerk. My jerk, at least.
“Kiss me now.” She said suddenly.
“Why?”
“I like your lips.”
A smirk appeared on my face. We both leaned in… 3 inches… 2 inches… an inch… I can smell her perfume already… and then I slapped her. Payback time.
“You’re a bitch.” Sooyoung said, touching her cheek and pouting.
“Your bitch.” I said.
We both laughed, and I don’t know how long it went that way, but later we became quiet and reality sunk into us. The reality that we’re both in New York, and that only one will stay.
“So what happens next?” She asked, her face more serious now.
Instead of answering, I ran my fingers through my hair and heaved a heavy sigh. I really, really, don’t want to leave.
“Do you think a long distance relationship could work?” I ask.
“I must admit, I’m not sure, Siwon.” She says in a hushed tone and we both looked hurt. Seconds pass and I spoke again.
“Okay. Let’s make a deal, then. We have no romantic relationship, so no commitments to each other. But, if you come back to Korea and we both don’t have relationships with somebody else, and you still genuinely love me, then you’ll become my girlfriend, and I’ll be yours automatically.”
Sooyoung laughed at this, but I think she kind of agreed with me.
“Siwon, you left me alone for two years and I still love you. The distance will only make our love stronger. I’ll come back, and we’ll be together, more in love than before.”
She gave me a reassuring smile. Out of the blue, a picture of her in a wedding dress with that same smile came to my mind, and I was sure what she was saying was true.
Sooyoung took Woody from the floor, and she held him like she was making him talk.
“Hey! Siwon! When you go back to Korea, don’t forget to communicate with me, okay?! Call me, chat me, email me, Skype me, send me pictures! Everything!” Woody (or Sooyoung) said.
“Yes. And I’ll visit you whenever I can.” I said while trying not to laugh.
“Well you better be!!”
“But visit Korea, too.”
“Okay.” Sooyoung said in her own voice now, while laying Woody at her side.
I took her hand, and gave her my own reassuring smile.
“No matter how far we are from each other, I’m always here for you.” I say.
“Don’t ever change, oppa.”
“I won’t.”
“Do you want me to say it again?” Sooyoung asked.
“Say what?”
“That I love you?”
“No, I want to say it first this time. I love you, Choi Sooyoung.”
“And I love you too, Choi Siwon.”
Like automatically, we kissed. Our foreheads touched, and our lips touched, and we had that happy feeling again. I’m glad to have my best friend back, and not only just a best friend anymore. We just hit the corny level, though.
Nothing could be better. Nothing can ever ruin the simple moment. Well, maybe Mr. Han and some of my bodyguards walking into the apartment without knocking while we were busy trying to taste each other is an exception. #
I was strolling around the park one fine day. I needed a break from everybody; from all the words and numbers, those stupid bodyguards, and the girls stalking me (yes, up until now I still have fangirls). The breeze was very refreshing. I have always liked the view of the river in the park. Everything was perfect. And yes, it reminded me of Sooyoung.
She’s my best friend, my ex best friend maybe. We first met when we were little kids. I hit her head with my Frisbee. Before, we were always together. She understood me, and I understood her. We both know the feeling of being liked by a lot of people because you are rich, or that sadness you get because both of your parents are so busy with their jobs. Or being forced to only doing things you’re supposed to do. And we’re each other’s only company. We were best friends because our dads were best friends too. But then they had a huge fight, both personal and in business, so two years ago my dad told me to never speak to anyone in that family again. Ah, so much for that friendship. They really did try to keep us apart.
This park is very special to us, well, for me it is. We used to take walks here together and just talk and talk. She’s the one who first brought me here. I really like the place. And in fact, I really like her too.
Too bad she still doesn’t know.
I saw her in the park that day. I was so happy. I ran up to her from behind and let out a shout to startle her. She was horrified and gasped. She turned around to face me, and I saw that beautiful face of hers.
After 2 years, she has not changed.
She let out a gleaming smile when she saw me. That smile, it made the sun rise up again even though it was already setting. I will try my best not to be corny, but really, my day was lit up that orange afternoon.
“Siwon oppa!!! I missed you!” She said then gave me a tight hug. It felt amazing hugging her again. Damn, I miss her a lot.
“I missed you too. How’s life?” I said with a smile.
“Fine really. Aahhh, it feels so good to be with you here again.” She replied.
We both let out giggles, not knowing what to say anymore. I just stared at her beautiful side view when she took a look at the wonderful view of the river beside us.
“So what you doing here?” I asked.
“You know, admiring nature, listening to the birds, taking my last stroll here.”
“Your last stroll?” I asked in confusion.
“I’m leaving.” She said.
My mouth fell open.
“I’m going to New York and study there starting this fall.”
I was shocked. After two years of the absence of her in my life, she’s completely leaving me? The news broke out to me so quickly. I was… I… I didn’t know what to think or do. Seriously, I like her. Scratch that, I might even love her already. Every night, I think of her. I try my best to reach out (although I know my father wouldn’t like it), but a lot of things get in the way. I can’t let her leave me. Yes, I let that happen before, but I don’t want it to happen again.
I froze on my spot. My face wore an expression of mixed shock and sadness. What to say? What to do?
“Uhm… Siwon? You okay?”
After a long silence, I replied. “No Soo, I’m not.”
She just looked down at her feet.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you immediately. I… there were a lot of things happening and things I needed to do, plus our fathers… Siwon oppa, I’m just sorry.” She said. She used that voice she always uses when she apologizes to me. Like when she “borrows” my sandwich but never gives it back.
I stared at her. She notices, then our eyes meet. She was sincere. And like everyday, I wonder if she thinks about me too, the way I think of her.
“So, when will you leave?”
Our eyes were still locked to each other, and I can see that change of emotion. She looked more guilty.
“T-t-tomorrow…”
At that point, I really, really didn’t want to say anything anymore. Aside from the shock and sadness, I think I was getting angry too. That thing I felt in my chest when I heard that she was leaving, it turned to something different now, something that hurted me more. How can she not tell me? We were best friends. Oh yeah, we were best friends.
“I can’t believe this.”
I turned around and left. I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but I just really didn’t want to see her. I thought we were friends. Did she try to talk to me, at least secretly? Just to tell me that we might never see each other again for a really long time? Or that it would be much harder to find each other now? No. Maybe I was delusional; it was only to me that we had something really special.
As I left, she grabbed my arm. I think I wasn’t mad enough to shake it off me, so I just turned around. Well, she was still very beautiful, but she really had that guilty look in her face.
“Siwon oppa, I’m so sorry. I know I should’ve told you earlier. We could’ve fixed that friendship of ours that went astray. Maybe we could’ve bonded more, even behind our fathers’ backs. Siwon oppa we-“
She stopped talking when she felt a hand land on her shoulder. She turned and faced an old man in a black corporate suit wearing a pair of intimidating black glasses. I recognized him; he was her dad’s long-time head security guard, Mr. Han. I swear, behind those sunglasses, I knew he was glaring at me.
He stepped forward and put himself between me and Sooyoung. He bowed before talking.
“Ah, if I’m not mistaken sir, you’re Choi Siwon. Heir to… Choi Dong Hyuk Group of Companies? Yes…”
I gave him a small bow. As far as I know, he shouldn’t be here. Sooyoung had her own team of body guards. Being children of moguls, we are assigned a group of them, but Sooyoung and I always tried to get away from those creepy guys following us around. Well, so much of those good memories.
He just continued glaring at me. I think those bodyguards are still trying to keep Sooyoung and me apart.
He faced her and said: “Miss Sooyoung, your father’s limousine is waiting outside. He wants to talk to you. Let me escort you to him.”
Sooyoung bowed and followed him out of the park. She looked back at me a lot of times, her expression still the same. She gave me a small smile. I wondered if it will be the last time I’ll be seeing her. We never had the chance to say goodbye.
--
What just happened?
Oh yeah, Sooyoung is leaving for New York and I’m here lying in my bed feeling all beaten down with nothing I can do.
Oh man, I’m so selfish. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at her. I think I should’ve just understood her and everything. I hadn’t even said goodbye. Now she’s gone.
I started to reminisce. I remember that time when I offered her a strawberry when we were little. And then when we were graders, we hosed down our bodyguards while we were trying to water the plants at my house. We also threw bananas and tomatoes at them when we tried to imitate a food fight we saw on TV. During our teenage years, we started to have that deep emotional connection. All our problems and troubles, we shared it with each other. We went to the same university after. The students paired us up with each other and started teasing and saying that we’re a real couple. But Sooyoung will always say “No we’re not! He’s just my best friend! My big brother! Seriously!” At first I just agreed with her. It was true. But the more she said it, the more it didn’t feel right to me anymore. Then suddenly it hit me. I like her more than just a best friend. Just a few weeks after, our friendship was forced to break. We were kept apart. I tried calling her, but she changed her number. We went through the last two years of college without each other. At that time, I got new friends, nasty ones that I should not be hanging out with. I forgot about her for a while. I then realized that I missed her a lot. When I see her around, I take some time to observe her. She’s got new friends now too. Still, we didn’t communicate. And still, my feelings didn’t change.
I slapped myself. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT NOW LOSER, I thought. Just let her be. Just let her learn more stuff in her life. Just let her live a new life without me.
It’s 12:51. Nope, those feelings weren’t gone. I can’t sleep. I closed the lights. No, my eyes won’t close unless I see her face again. I looked at the apple tree outside my window. We used to climb up there and I’ll get her apples. I can still see us sitting there, years and years younger. I’m not angry at her, I’m angry at myself.
But as they say, better late than never.
--
Okay…. I can’t stop panting. After running for a (rather long) while I will pant, but then when I’ll stop I will just continue because I keep on thinking about it. It’s because of the nervousness. I’m not going to waste my efforts. I didn’t sleep and I bought last minute tickets to New York. My stomach is grumbling. I’m here sitting in the pre-departure area, still panting and with just a small backpack, waiting for my flight. Getting away from my bodyguards (and stalkers) was hard.
Finally. I need to get to that plane and go to New York. Maybe I can sleep now. I’m getting there. Let’s just hope she’ll accept me.
But what if she doesn’t? I can’t help but ponder at that. I’m not even sure at what I’m doing right now. Why am I going to New York without thinking much why I should? I can’t even think straight. What am I saying?
Oh, yes. I remember now. I’m going to go to Sooyoung and tell her I love her and make a total ass of myself. That sounds nice.
--
I’m thankful to my resources. They stalk my loved one for me when I can’t help but stare at the plane window because of fear. I finally got the address to her apartment. Funny, my uncle owns that building. I thought she couldn’t get any nearer.
So I finally land, and I go directly to that address. I can’t stay at the hotel first, I might not leave. I almost didn’t leave Korea and the plane. I’m still shaken, and I’m still not sure of what I am doing. Excuse me; I don’t make sense these past hours. I get a cab and rode off. New York is such a wonderful city. Sooyoung is such a wonderful person…
Okay. There’s a black car following the cab. They found me? No. NO. My bodyguards are not going to stop me from doing what I clearly what I want to do.
“Please drop me off here instead. Thank you.” My English is getting better.
I paid the driver and hide into an alley. We got a little farther away from the car (I think they were trying to hide themselves) and then we made a sharp turn and that’s where I got off. I hope the guards didn’t see me. I don’t know when was the last time I tried to hide from them. So I walked cautiously around, trying to understand where I am. I was lost. I walk around and around, but I always seem to go back to the alley where I first hid. What the heck…
One of them saw me. I put on my hood but they still recognized me. I started to run, and he immediately did the same. I turned to the left, and one more bodyguard saw me. I ran faster, turned another left, and then another one saw me. Three. I crossed the street, went into an alley, did a lot of turns, and then two more added. I was running around New York City like a freak, with 5 people in suits doing the same. All I did was run and walk and turn to the left and walk and run. I was pretty sure I was going back to where I have first been.
Tired and panting again, I was back at that alley. I lost them. Instead of going left I go right. I hit a couple of boxes on the street and I hear something crack. I think I broke something. Why are there boxes in the sidewalk? I tried to check, but instead I saw Korean characters written on the box’s flaps. Did it just say Choi Sooyoung? I look up and I see a plaque with the address texted to me on my phone. I picked up a box and I went inside the building.
So maybe that’s reason why the driver gave me a funny smile. I just told him to drop me off where I told him to in the first place. And now I keep on ending up in the same alley. Destiny? No. Ew. Well, maybe.
I climbed nervously up the stairs. My heart was beating fast (again). I don’t need more things in this box to break. Okay. Second floor. 7… 8… 9… Apartment 10. I held the huge box in one hand and I reached out for the doorknob. Breathe… breathe… I let go of the box when the knob turned by itself. The door opened and I saw her there, wearing a pink sweater and her long hair falling freely on her shoulders. She looked shocked and she put her hand over her mouth.
My mind went blank and I didn’t know what to do. I just looked at her face, looking a little haggard already. Still, she was very beautiful. Before I could even crouch down to get the box, she took my arm and pulled me closer for a hug. I felt a sense of warmth as she hugged me. Her arms were tight around my body, and after overcoming the shock I got when she held me, I wrapped my arms around her too. I felt her face dig in into my shoulder, as if looking for comfort. I smiled.
“Siwon oppa…”
“I’m here, Sooyoung.”
“I love you.”
What?
--
I pulled her away from me. I kept my hands fastened on her shoulders as I showed her my face of bewilderment. Did she just… did she just say that she loves me? She… loves me. Wow.
Her eyes suddenly grew big and her mouth formed an O. She shook my hands off her and ran inside her apartment. She tried to close the door but before she did I stopped it, with my now aching foot. I went after her, but she was ahead of me already and as I followed her to her bedroom I came face to face with a mint green door slammed shut seconds before I almost came in.
I knocked on the door. “Sooyoung?”
“Not now!”
“Please! I wanna talk to you!”
“Please leave! We’ll talk another time!”
“No! I need to tell it to you now!”
Momentary pause.
“Tell me what?” Her voice was softer now. She seemed to forget her seemingly accidental confession to me.
“Open the door and I’ll tell you.” I used my best convincing voice. After a pause, she opened the door. A face of embarrassment (or shame?) was her expression. She looked quite nervous, too.
“I love you, too.” I said to her.
She suddenly turned to a tomato. She looked away, with a sense of shock on her pretty face. She ran her hand through her hair like she was trying to figure out what to do. We met eyes again, mine totally intent on hers. Immediately she ran inside her bedroom like trouble was chasing her but before she can even get out of my reach, I grabbed her arm and pulled her into the living room.
“I’m going to say it again. I love you, Choi Sooyoung.”
I sincerely told her what I have felt for a very long time. I felt free. I was holding her hand, and we stayed still for a moment. I let the good feeling sink into me, and I hope that she’s doing the same. She told me she loved me, right? The way she said it and the feeling that I got, I knew it was real.
I was waiting for her to answer. She looked speechless, but I really wanted her to answer back. Maybe… we already said what we’re supposed to say. Words are enough. I need to show it to her.
I hugged her. I ran my fingers through her fragrant her. I let her head lay down on my shoulders. I just held her, letting her feel what I feel, and letting her sense my heartbeat. She hugged me back and I felt comfortable. We both felt comfortable. I did all this thinking about how much I love her and hope that I’ll ever hug her again.
When she pulled away she pinched me on the cheek and gave me a cute smile. I can’t help but give her a wide one of my own. I was really, really happy. We both were. Before I could forget, I unzipped my backpack and brought out the Woody doll she gave me once as a gift. It wasn’t really a gift, though. She had lots of Woody dolls, and I forced her to give one to me.
I showed it to Sooyoung, and I think a flood of good memories came back to her. She took it with her hand and we just smiled once more.
--
Woody dropped to the floor. I think my sudden kiss was the cause. My emotions overtook me and before I knew it, our lips have touched. It was sweet, and it was chaste. When we broke off, we still had those smiles and our arms were tightly wrapped to each other.
We sat in the soft blue sofa and decided to talk. But first we just laughed, and laughed and laughed. We were talking casually again, like before, but now with maybe an even better relationship.
“I still can’t bear to believe this.” Sooyoung said.
“Me, too. I was surprised, because I always thought you don’t feel, or won’t ever feel the same way.” I replied.
“Why?” She looked a little alarmed.
“I don’t know… It… it just felt like it, maybe. But that doesn’t matter, you love me now.” I smiled curtly as I said this, and she did the same. Her smile was rather short too, because then she seemed to realize how great she can hide her feelings. She was like this to almost everybody, even to Siwon and most especially her parents.
“You know, I came here last minute to tell you that I love you, before you can completely be out of my reach. I can’t sleep, or even eat. I know you’ll be angry with me for not eating, but you yourself are the only cure for that.” I continued.
Out of nowhere, she took a granola bar from behind her and gave it to me. I took off the wrapper and ate it with my hands. For a while I just ate and she just looked at me doing it. I think we were both thinking of each other.
“I realized I loved you when we were forced to be apart. I felt that way even before your absence, but the fact that I was really in love with you came to me when you were not there anymore.” Sooyoung said this without looking at me. I, on the other hand, never looked away from her face.
“Remember that night, when we were up on the roof, at your vacation house in Busan?” she said.
“We never went to the roof.”
“Get your memories straight, dumbass. Not the blue house, the red one.”
“Oh.” I remember. That cool night at the red house, we climbed to the roof to look at the stars which were surprisingly visible at the time. Then came an awkward moment…
“The stars were twinkling, and I checked to see if you had the same expression as mine. Instead my eyes landed on your lips and for some reason, I thought of kissing you.”
“Yeah. Then you leaned towards me and our faces were inches apart… and then you slapped me.”
She stifled a laugh, and I can’t believe she is still amused by that. I, for one, wasn’t; I thought it was romantic then it came out as a joke.
“I almost kissed you; but then I realized what I was doing, and I saw your expression, so I slapped you to make it look like I was messing with you.”
“You’re a pain in the ass.”
“Not to mention a pain in your heart.”
“Shut up.”
Note: I was filled with hope that she might actually like me when that happened. She looked like she was entranced by me. I almost leaned in to kiss her too. I was on the roof on a moonlit night, under a starry sky with the person I love. And then she acts like that. What a jerk. My jerk, at least.
“Kiss me now.” She said suddenly.
“Why?”
“I like your lips.”
A smirk appeared on my face. We both leaned in… 3 inches… 2 inches… an inch… I can smell her perfume already… and then I slapped her. Payback time.
“You’re a bitch.” Sooyoung said, touching her cheek and pouting.
“Your bitch.” I said.
We both laughed, and I don’t know how long it went that way, but later we became quiet and reality sunk into us. The reality that we’re both in New York, and that only one will stay.
“So what happens next?” She asked, her face more serious now.
Instead of answering, I ran my fingers through my hair and heaved a heavy sigh. I really, really, don’t want to leave.
“Do you think a long distance relationship could work?” I ask.
“I must admit, I’m not sure, Siwon.” She says in a hushed tone and we both looked hurt. Seconds pass and I spoke again.
“Okay. Let’s make a deal, then. We have no romantic relationship, so no commitments to each other. But, if you come back to Korea and we both don’t have relationships with somebody else, and you still genuinely love me, then you’ll become my girlfriend, and I’ll be yours automatically.”
Sooyoung laughed at this, but I think she kind of agreed with me.
“Siwon, you left me alone for two years and I still love you. The distance will only make our love stronger. I’ll come back, and we’ll be together, more in love than before.”
She gave me a reassuring smile. Out of the blue, a picture of her in a wedding dress with that same smile came to my mind, and I was sure what she was saying was true.
Sooyoung took Woody from the floor, and she held him like she was making him talk.
“Hey! Siwon! When you go back to Korea, don’t forget to communicate with me, okay?! Call me, chat me, email me, Skype me, send me pictures! Everything!” Woody (or Sooyoung) said.
“Yes. And I’ll visit you whenever I can.” I said while trying not to laugh.
“Well you better be!!”
“But visit Korea, too.”
“Okay.” Sooyoung said in her own voice now, while laying Woody at her side.
I took her hand, and gave her my own reassuring smile.
“No matter how far we are from each other, I’m always here for you.” I say.
“Don’t ever change, oppa.”
“I won’t.”
“Do you want me to say it again?” Sooyoung asked.
“Say what?”
“That I love you?”
“No, I want to say it first this time. I love you, Choi Sooyoung.”
“And I love you too, Choi Siwon.”
Like automatically, we kissed. Our foreheads touched, and our lips touched, and we had that happy feeling again. I’m glad to have my best friend back, and not only just a best friend anymore. We just hit the corny level, though.
Nothing could be better. Nothing can ever ruin the simple moment. Well, maybe Mr. Han and some of my bodyguards walking into the apartment without knocking while we were busy trying to taste each other is an exception. #