AU RPS: Swim Your Seas And Climb Your Hills 9-12/14
Title: Swim Your Seas And Climb Your Hills.
Author: jeyhawk
Pairings/Characters: Jared/Jensen, Steve/Chris brief mentions of Mike/Tom.
Rating: Overall NC17
Category: Angst, Romance, Erotica, AU
Summary: Introductory post (with pictures) to the stuntman!verse can be found here. Steve's a stuntman, Chris a director, Jensen an actor and Jared's in a wheelchair. Two years ago Jared's accident changed their relationships forever, but now they find themselves on the set for the same movie. Will the past prove to be too much, or can they find their ways back to each other?
Disclaimer: I don't know them, own them or make any money from them. This is just a bunch of inventive lies.
Warnings: AU.
Wordcount: 33 196 for the entire series.
Beta: ames1010 Love you babe!
Thanks to: lissa_bear, titheniel, laugiana_fanfic and sasskitten for encouragement and character evaluations.
Notes: This story is finished, but it'll be posted in parts to give my beta some time to weave her magic wand. :0) Every chapter brings a new POV in the order Steve, Chris, Jensen, Jared and back from the start, but of course pretty much every chapter deals with all of them. :0) Title snatched from Steve with love. :0P
Chapter Nine
Steve was in a right pissy mood, but what else was new? He’d actually been in a pretty good mood a couple of hours ago as he sat down to wait for Jensen to get back so that he could apologize for being a dick lately and patch their friendship up. Not being on speaking terms with Jensen made him feel itchy inside, like something was chafing in his little oyster world.
They’d lost so much already, all of them, and he didn’t want to add another friendship to that list. Of course that was before the hours stretched out without any sign of Jensen, which pissed him off for no particular reason. Of course, between damned near constant twinges from his fucked up back, and the way even hearing Chris’s voice grated on his nerves, it really didn’t take much for him to blow up.
Jensen finally sailed in through the door well after midnight, the grin on his face bright enough to power Las Vegas for days.
“Where have you been?” Steve asked, accusation heavy in his voice.
“Out,” Jensen replied, his grin getting, if possible, even brighter.
“With whom?” Steve asked, getting up from the couch and trailing after Jensen as he moved towards his bedroom.
“None of you business,” Jensen replied, pulling his t-shirt over his head and letting it drop to the floor.
Steve picked it up with an annoyed huff, hanging it over the back of a chair.
“Why do you seem so goddamned happy?”
Jensen turned around to face him, framed by the door to his bedroom. “Because I am goddamned happy and you acting like my fucking wife ain’t going to change that in the slightest.”
The both heard the low hum of Jensen’s phone vibrating in Jensen’s pocket and Jensen fished it out, keeping his eyes trained on Steve like it was a challenge.
“Jensen,” he answered after flipping it open and a few seconds later his grin turned into a pleased husky laugh that made Steve shiver, even though it certainly wasn’t for him. “Yeah,” he murmured into the mouthpiece. “You can bet your ass it was real, you freak. No one has dreams that good.”
He mouthed ‘goodnight’ to Steve, closing the door in his face, the muted sound of his talking drifting to the door as he walked away from it. Steve pressed his lips together and thought of breaking the fucking door down and beating the crap out of him. Jensen being this happy could only mean he met someone and the last he’d heard, Jensen had been heading out to wine and dine some fan. It was none of his business, but he wanted to break every bone in Jensen’s body for giving up on his little brother. Those two at least had a vague shot at happiness. Jensen wasn’t allowed to give that up.
When Steve got out of bed the following morning his mood hadn’t exactly improved, despite the pretty spectacular wet dream he’d had about Chris, but he decided to pay Jared a visit anyway. He’d been neglecting his brother ever since the day of the hill stunt and Jared, if anyone, would be able to deal with his moods.
Jensen’s truck was gone when Steve made his way out to the lot and he frowned, wondering how come he hadn’t heard him leave. It wasn’t like Jensen was normally a morning person and he made an unholy lot of noise as he made breakfast. Pushing the thought away with a renewed surge of annoyance, Steve got into his own dusty truck and turned the key in the ignition.
The engine roared to life and he was just about to put the car into reverse when he noticed Chris walking across the empty space between the trailers. His dark head was bowed low, his shoulders slumped, and Steve followed him with his eyes until he rounded the corner and disappeared out of view. His first instinct was to go after him and find out what was wrong, but then he remembered Chris’s venomous I hate you and decided against it, following him would just lead to another blow up.
The drive to Pine Lodge was uneventful. Chris used to joke that Steve would be able to navigate heavy traffic blindfolded and even though it wasn’t entirely true, it was close to it. He wasn’t stupid enough to let his guard down, though, because even if he trusted himself, he knew that he couldn’t put the same trust in the rest of the morons on the road.
He was surprised to see Jensen’s truck in the parking lot as he pulled up, yet another wave of annoyance suffusing him. Apparently Jensen was even stupider than he’d given him credit for, rushing here to tell Jared his good news about whoever he’d met last night when he was hard pressed to visit him on a normal day.
Convinced that Jared would need him, he stalked in through the main doors, barely nodding to the nurse behind the desk before he took off down the hall towards Jared's room. He was just about to throw the door open when the sound of Jared's laugh made him pause with his hand pressed flat to the cold surface of the door.
He balled his hand into a fist and knocked instead of just running in, a muffled come in reaching his ears. Swallowing, he opened the door and stepped in, his eyes taking in the sight before him. Jared was sitting in his wheelchair beside the bed, while Jensen was lying on his side on the bed, one of Jensen’s hands captured between both of Jared's. The remains of a hearty breakfast for two was left on the table, and the way the two of them were looking at each other told Steve everything he needed to know about the current situation.
Jared looked up when he walked in and tried to let go of Jensen’s hand, only Jensen wouldn’t let him.
“Hey, Steve,” Jared said, smiling a little as a blush crept up his cheeks.
“Hey,” Steve answered, leaning back against the wall and studying them with half a smile on his lips. “And to think I thought I was going to have to kick Jensen’s ass for finding someone else and breaking your heart.”
Jared grinned a little, ducking his chin. Steve let his eyes slide over to Jensen, who was watching him defiantly from the bed, apparently waiting for another round of hard words to come his way.
“So it was Jared, huh?” he said. “That made you so happy last night.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, giving Jared a loving look.
He scooted forward a little and Jared leaned up, the two of them sharing a kiss that seemed to drag on forever.
“Okay, I get it,” he said. “Enough.”
Jared laughed when they broke apart and Steve really hoped he only imagined the husky note to it. “It’s not like I wasn’t damaged in my most formative years by catching you and Chris having sex.”
“It taught you a valuable lesson,” Steve defended himself.
“What Chris looks like sitting on your cock?” Jared asked innocently, making Jensen laugh.
“No,” Steve made a face. “To knock before going into my bedroom.”
Jared laughed again, both he and Jensen positively beaming with the glow of re-found love. Something inside of Steve unravelled and a wistful smile slid on to his face. If only he could do what the two of them had done so easily - pushing the last two years out of the way and reconnecting with each other.
“Uh, Jen,” he said softly, almost shyly. “I’m really sorry for being a dick to you lately.”
“It’s okay,” Jensen said, stretching languidly. “I feel so fucking great right now that I would probably have forgiven you if you’d shot my mom.”
Steve chuckled. “Yeah, I figured.”
Jared gave him a serious look, letting go of Jensen’s hand for a moment in favour of wheeling up to Steve. “Come here,” he said, tugging Steve down for a hug, his long arms wrapping around Steve's neck.
Steve allowed himself to cling to him for a moment, his back sending rather urgent messages to his brain about how much it hated the way he was bending forward. This was not how he’d planned for the day to go, Jared comforting him instead of the other way around.
He straightened up, looking down at his baby brother, who looked so much stronger now than he had the last time he saw him. The shadows were finally gone from his eyes and the damned near constant frown on his face washed away, leaving him looking impossibly young. Jensen must have cut his hair, too, because it no longer reached down to his shoulders.
“You’re looking good, Jay,” he remarked.
“Damn straight,” Jensen filled in from the bed, turning the grin on Jared's face up a few notches.
“I wish I could say the same,” Jared said with a wry look.
He shrugged awkwardly, looking away.
“You should talk to him,” Jared said and Steve didn’t bother to ask who he meant. “It might not solve anything, but you should clear the air.”
“We already tried that,” he said. “It didn’t go down very well.”
Jensen shifted impatiently on the bed behind them and seemingly without conscious thought, Jared rolled backwards until he was next to the foot of the bed, slinging an arm over the leg Jensen moved in his direction - like they couldn’t stand not to be touching. Steve smiled wryly. He remembered what that felt like, even if it had never been quite as easy when Chris was one half of the twosome.
Still, if there was even half a chance he could have that again, with the best friend he ever had, wasn’t it worth fighting for? Chris had never been too good with the emotional shit - that had always been Steve's job - so maybe it was still the same. Maybe all those kisses had been Chris’s way of saying it was still possible, that Steve could have him if he just asked nicely enough.
Jensen was looking at him with an unreadable look on his face. “I don’t think Chris is over you,” he said simply.
Steve smiled a little. “Really? His parting words to me the last time we met were I hate you.”
“If anything, I think that proves my point,” Jensen said, sneakily using his leg to push Jared backwards so that he could reach him with his hands. “If he was really over you, do you think he would bother to hate you? I saw you kissing at the kick off party… those were not the kisses of two people that are over each other.”
“Yeah…” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, well…”
“One of you is going to have to be the grown up,” Jared said, and it was unbecoming of them to team up on him, and also to hold each others hands like they were doing because it looked like sex.
“And we all know it ain’t going to be Chris,” Jensen filled in, smiling at Jared.
Steve looked at them for a few seconds before deciding that it was time to leave before whatever they were doing with their hands became X rated.
“I’ll think on it,” he said vaguely. “Anyway, I’m gonna go now.”
“You don’t have to,” Jared said, sounding entirely unconvincing.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You two have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said. “We have.”
“Okay, so… See you another day, Jare. See you later, Jen.”
“Yeah,” they said in unison and he shook his head fondly, a little of their happiness managing to catch on him.
As he walked down the corridor and back out to his car, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He couldn’t believe his baby brother had finally gotten his happily ever after, if they even thought of trying for something else, he would hit them over the head with something hard. Now maybe it was time to start thinking about what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. The money he would make for 100 Proof would be more then enough to pay for Jared's hospital bills and the stay at Pine Lodge.
Jared paid for law school himself through a well-earned scholarship and once he was out of Pine Lodge, Steve knew he wanted to care for himself best as he could. He had been very worried about that, the thought of Jared living on his own, scaring the crap out of him, but now that Jared had Jensen he knew that it would be all right. They might not move in together, but at least Jensen would be keeping tabs on Jared in a way that Jared would never let him do.
So where did he want to go? The answer to that question was as simple as it had always been. Back in time.
Chapter Ten
If there was one thing Chris had learned, it was that life always threw you curve balls. Once he’d thought that recognition and fame was all he really wanted. Boy, had he been wrong about that, because although recognition and the respect that came with it was nice, fame wasn’t really all it had been cranked up to be. He was sick and tired of being recognized, of people wanting a piece of him.
He craved the anonymousity he’d once had, when the only people recognizing him had been people he actually knew. Now he found himself floundering all too often, wondering if the person accosting him was someone he was supposed to recognize, someone he’d fucked or worked with. He hid his insecurity behind a mask of indifference and that wasn’t right, because he’d never been anything if not sure of himself.
The whole situation on set was another thing that hadn’t gone as he planned at all. He’d hired Jensen on a whim and because he knew Jen had a lot more in him than being the hottest star on TV. His beauty, while a blessing, would always be something of a curse because people didn’t look to see what was beneath the surface (another curve ball, right there). Now Chris knew him, knew Jensen had a depth that few people would ever see, so he’d wanted to give him a chance to prove that.
He’d thought that working with Jensen would be great, that they’d watch the dailies and kick back in the evenings, having a few beers, catching up. But Jensen had added Steve into the mix, and when Chris had realized what was going on it was already too late, Jeff having made up his mind. So in the end, Chris had a great cast, a great script and a set full of friends that didn’t want to hang with him. It was loserish and pathetic, but he’d never been so lonely in his life.
“Jesus, Chris, are you moping again?” Chris looked up with a scowl as Mike stepped into his trailer without knocking.
“I don’t mope,” he snarled, giving Mike a hostile look.
“Uh huh,” Mike answered, walking over to the beer cooler and putting a new bottle in front of Chris on the table. “I’ve noticed.”
Chris took the offered bottled, twisting the cap off and taking a few long pulls. Mike was making himself comfortable in one of the armchairs, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“Tom wanted me to ask if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight.”
Chris glanced at him over the bottle. “Will Tom be the one cooking?”
“Yeah.”
“In that case…No.”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Tommy’s cooking.”
Chris snorted. “You are the only person in the known universe that can even fathom eating his cooking. Seriously, people have died from just seeing it on a plate.”
Mike pouted. “Don’t be mean to my man, I might have to kick your ass.”
Chris huffed. “I’d like to see you try.”
A few more gulps finished the bottle and Chris put it down on the table with a clonk.
“How did the two of you meet anyway?”
It was a sad testament to how fucking horrible Chris was at the buddy-buddy stuff, that he’d know Mike for almost two years and never actually asked.
“He broke my arm,” Mike said with a fond smile, pulling his sleeve up to show the faint traces of a scar lining his left lower arm.
Chris blinked. “He broke your arm?”
“Yeah, he ran me over with his bike.”
“Oh.”
Mike laughed. “I was late for some meeting, or another, hurrying down the street, when suddenly out of nowhere this out of control biker appears, running right into me and knocking me over. Next thing I know, I’m lying on the street, clutching my arm that just felt wrong somehow and he was leaning over me. I thought I’d…”
“If you say anything about heaven, or angels, I will use this bottle to show you the real thing.”
“Chris… You’re the only person I’ve ever met that is actually allergic to flower talk. Seriously, how did you ever manage to have a relationship that lasted longer than three minutes?” Mike asked, sounding exasperated.
“Who says I’ve had one?”
“No one, but if that stuntman you can’t stop mooning over isn’t your ex, then Tom is fucking Superman.”
Chris clenched his jaw, he did not want to think about Steve at the moment. “So what happened next? You were lying there with a broken arm, looking up at Tom and thinking sappy thoughts…”
“He followed me to the hospital, waiting around while they did the x-rays and put the cast on, apologizing once every two seconds…”
“They put a cast on? Then how did you get the scar?”
“It didn’t set right, so when they took the cast off they had to break the bone again and use titanium screws to set it right… Your anal retentive attention to detail can really ruin a story, do you know that?”
Chris didn’t even answer that, choosing to use the lull in conversation to get himself another beer.
“So anyway,” Mike continued when it became clear Chris wasn’t going to answer. “Once I was done, it was really late and all I really wanted was to get home and sleep for a year. Tom wanted to make sure I got home safely and I ended up asking him to stay over.” Mike grinned. “He hasn’t moved out since.”
Chris smiled a little. “Just like that?”
“There was just something… right… about him, about us.”
Chris didn’t answer, staring unseeingly at the turned off TV. “Do you believe there is just one right person for everyone?” he asked.
Mike pursed his lips. “I don’t know. Maybe there are a lot of rights out there, but chances are your paths will never cross, so if you find one and everything about you clicks, then you better hold on to that person because who knows when the next right one will come along.”
“But isn’t it ever difficult? Don’t you ever fight?”
Mike laughed. “We fight all the time and we used to break up once a month, like clockwork. My family… they hate Tom. I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that he’s a man, but they don’t think he’s got the right class. I was the one to propose, but when it came down to it, I backed out so many times Tom almost gave up on me. Just because we’re right for each other, and goddamned happy, it doesn’t mean it was always easy.”
“You freak me out when you’re all reasonable and deep,” Chris pointed out.
Mike laughed. “Good thing it doesn’t happen very often then.”
Chris emptied the new bottle, putting it down beside the other one the table. “Steve is… was my best friend. I’ve known him since I was seven years old.”
Mike didn’t comment, seemingly holding his breath and waiting for Chris to go on.
“We grew up in the same neighbourhood and Steve was just the coolest kid on the street, you know? It didn’t matter that he was one year younger than me because he could do the coolest things.” Chris grinned. “Both his parents were stuntmen and they taught their kids the trade early on. It was like having a superhero for a friend.”
Mike laughed a little, getting up to get himself a beer and bringing one back for Chris, as well. Chris took it and studied the label for a few seconds, sometimes he’d kill for a Corona, no matter how many unwelcome memories the taste carried with it.
“So the two of you were friends… and you both know Jensen somehow…”
“Yeah. Jen moved into the house next to Steve's when I was sixteen and he was such a baby, you know, so we wouldn’t have hung out with him if it wasn’t for the fact that we spent a whole lotta time babysitting Jared, Steve's baby brother. Jared thought Jensen was the shit for some reason, so we let Jensen tag along to keep an eye on Jare because that kid was on speed through most of his pre-pubertal life.”
Mike chuckled. “I’ve never met him, but from what I’ve heard of Jared Padalecki, that didn’t change much later on… Why don’t they have the same last name, by the way?”
“Their parents never married, so Steve has his dad’s name and Jared their mom’s. Don’t really know why.”
“So… you were only friends then? Nothing more.”
Chris looked up to find Mike watching him with a little smile. “Oh we were more, a whole lot more even,” he said, breaking eye contact and looking down at his bottle. “I was like, seventeen, the first time I thought of Steve as something more of a friend, but I didn’t act on it for years and when I finally did, it took a whole lotta convincing.” He chuckled. “Steve didn’t find my track record with relationships all that impressive. He was always a one person at a time kind of guy, you know? Dedicated and loving and all that jazz, while I never committed to anyone.”
“Like now, then,” Mike remarked.
Chris huffed. “Yeah… kind of like now. There really only ever was one person that was worth all my time, you know?” His face fell. “But in the end he decided he didn’t want it.”
Mike put his bottle down on the table and looked at him. “So how about that dinner?” he asked, smiling softly. There was something like pity in his eyes and Chris didn’t need anyone’s pity.
He shook his head stubbornly, refusing to even look at Mike.
“Come on. We’ll pick up some take out on the way. By now Tom ought to have demolished the kitchen and ruined dinner good and proper. It’ll be nice, just hanging out. So right now you don’t have what you used to have… the four of you being so close you couldn’t get a paper in between you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have friends. So stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself and count your blessings instead of your woes.”
Chris looked up with a start, smiling a little. “Yeah, well…” he grumbled. “I am kind of hungry.”
“That’s my boy,” Mike said getting up. “Grab your jacket and let’s get out of here.”
Chris got up, as well, looking around the trailer to see if there was anything else he needed. Mike was right, of course, he’d spent way too much time feeling sorry for himself lately. Thinking about the past changed nothing about the present; only he could do that, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he really wanted.
Chapter Eleven
Jensen was stupidly, ridiculously happy - so happy that he couldn’t keep his shit-eating grin off his face at any hour of the day, really. He was pretty sure he even grinned in his sleep, even though his bed felt huge and lonely without Jared. It was a nice feeling, or well, really fricking awesome feeling, but it messed with his work to the point where he got called to the sidelines by Chris after fucking up the seventh take of a very deep and emotional scene with his grin.
“Jensen,” Chris said, shaking his head slightly. “This isn’t working. Now I know you are happy, and I’m happy for you, but you are messing with my movie and I don’t like that at all.”
Jensen tried to answer, but Chris cut him off. “I want you to think really hard about that day Jared had the accident, okay? I want you to consider the two years you wasted, letting him lie in his lonely bed, reaching for any scrap of you that he could have. I want you to remember that you didn’t have the decency to even give him your new number when you changed it. How do you think that made him feel, huh?”
Jensen’s face fell and he licked his lips, glancing towards his chair where he’d left his cell phone. He had treated Jared like crap and he did know that Jared hadn’t forgotten and that he very likely was just waiting for it to happen again.
“He knows you’re surrounded by beautiful people all day long, people who have their own lives and legs to walk on. People who have been wiping their own asses for the last couple of years, and he’s bound to be thinking that you’re going to hook up with one of them. We both know Jared, Jen. He’s scarily transparent sometimes.”
“I better…” Jensen got half a step towards his phone before Chris stopped him with an arm over his chest.
“No, you better get back to your mark and nail this fucking scene for me or I will call Jared and tell him that you and me decided that we were just too pretty to not get it on with each other.”
Jensen blinked. “You wouldn’t.”
“Oh yes, I would,” Chris said, sounding deadly serious.
Jensen licked his lips and glanced towards his phone again. Chris made a warning noise, giving him a little shove in the right direction (that apparently wasn’t his phone). Jensen trudged back to his mark, thinking about Jared back at Pine Lodge with nothing better to do than physiotherapy and waiting for Jensen. It was already late enough that it would be well after nine before he got there and he knew that whatever Jared said, he started worrying after nine.
When Chris yelled action he immediately shoved the thoughts of Jared out of his mind, entering the mindset of Chance, the character he was portraying. He found that it came much easier to him this time - Chance feeling crappy and guilt ridden in the same way Chris had made him feel. They did three takes in a row with Jensen delivering increasingly emotional and desperate performances as the clock ticked towards ten. This time no one could fault Jensen’s performance, the delays were all about Chris’s nitpickiness.
They did a fourth and final take and once Chris yelled cut, he knew they got it. Chris approached him with a huge grin on his face.
“I knew there was a reason I cast you,” he said. “That was awesome, man.”
Jensen grinned with his entire face, even though Chris was his friend, he didn’t give praise unless it was well deserved.
“Well, what are you still doing here?” Chris asked when Jensen didn’t make any move to leave. “I thought you’d be halfway to Pine Lodge by now.”
Jensen blinked and then he took off running towards his trailer, with Chris’s laughter following him. Steve was on the couch when he got in, watching TV and having a beer, but he barely had time to nod at him before he was in the bedroom shrugging out of Chance’s clothes and hitting the shower. Twenty minutes later he emerged in his own jeans and t-shirt, bringing Chance’s clothes with him, neatly folded.
“Steve, could you drop these off at wardrobe for me?” he asked, showing him the pile of clothes.
“Sure,” Steve said, taking them from Jensen’s hands. “Give Jared my love.”
“I will,” Jensen said and turned towards the door. He glanced back one last time before leaving, catching Steve with a look of near despair on his face that pretty much gutted him. It morphed into a smile and a questioning glance when he noticed Jensen looking, though, and Jensen smiled back, throwing a goodbye over his shoulder.
He parked his truck far away from the main building and hurried up to the entrance. Even though he did have the right to come and go 24-hours a day, he was still embarrassed to show up in the middle of the night. He had the pass pinned to his shirt, but they barely looked at it before letting him in. Word had spread that Jensen Ackles had a friend in the facility and they all saw him on a pretty much daily basis.
A few days ago he’d even made the rounds around the patients, chatting and writing autographs to those who wanted. Amanda’s mom had asked him if he’d consider it, at least for the children in the place, and he hadn’t minded in the slightest. Despite Jared's protests he’d dragged him along, as well, gushing to everyone about his best friend.
Jared was asleep when he pushed the door open, the only illumination in the room the TV’s flickering light playing over his face. Jensen smiled at him, closing the door softly after himself. He walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, touching a hand to Jared's face and waking him with a start.
“Hey,” Jared said, giving him a sleepy smile.
“Hey,” Jensen responded with an answering smile on his lips.
Jared pushed himself into sitting position and they shared a short, sweet kiss before Jared let himself fall back on the bed.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, glancing at the clock. “I thought you had an early call tomorrow.”
“I do,” Jensen answered. “I just… I wanted to see you.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t hear me complaining.” Jared reached out and curled a hand around Jensen’s wrist.
Jared scooted over slightly and Jensen kicked his shoes off, lying down on his side next to him. It was a bit of a tight fit, but it wasn’t like Jensen minded having to hold on to Jared.
“So how was your day?” Jensen asked, putting his head on Jared's shoulder; the energy that had kept him going for the last few hours draining away slowly.
Jared ran his fingers through Jensen’s still damp hair. “I finished up the last essay, so now I’m essentially on vacation until the next semester, having made up for the stuff I missed after the surgery.”
“Congratulations,” Jensen said, flattening his palm against Jared's broad chest. “How was the poking and prodding of the day?”
“It was okay. They say I’m making progress.”
Jensen smiled a little, snuggling closer. Jared didn’t like to talk about the physiotherapy or what the doctors were saying, either because he didn’t want to jinx it, or because he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Jensen really had no idea if Jared would ever be able to walk again, or if he would be carried by a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He found that he didn’t really care. He wanted Jared to be able to walk again for his own sake, because Jared wanted it. He would just as well take Jared exactly as he was now.
“You know…” Jared said. “It’s only three months until they let me out of here. After that I will have three appointments a week, then two, then one and then at some point in the future, when they have done all they can for me… none.”
“Can’t wait to have you to myself,” Jensen said sincerely. “You are moving in with me, right?”
There was a startled silence. “I… uhm… you want me to?”
“Of course.”
Jared used a finger to tilt Jensen’s chin up for a slow, deep kiss. “Yeah,” Jared murmured when they broke apart, his breath moist on Jensen's lips. “Yeah, I’m moving in with you.”
Jensen made a content sound at the back of his throat and tucked his head in under Jared's chin. He had to leave soon, but until then he wanted to snuggle. After that first time, they’d done their best to keep their urges under control. The risk was too high and the two of them getting caught could lead to a whole lot of agony neither of them needed right now.
Jared went back to threading his fingers through Jensen’s hair. “You falling asleep on me?” Jared asked.
“Almost,” Jensen answered. “Can’t wait til I can sleep curled around you every night.”
Jared chuckled, his hand on Jensen’s head pausing for a moment. “You really want me to move in with you?”
“Yeah, just you try to get a place of your own.”
“But what about your career?”
“I guess I’ll have to go back to doing TV, or playing the token gay guy in every other movie, maybe doing a bit of theatre…” He shrugged awkwardly. “We keep it under wraps for as long as we can, and when the truth gets out… Well, then it does.”
“I love you,” Jared said, his voice slightly rough.
“Sap,” Jensen responded, but he was smiling.
“Sue me.”
Jensen chuckled, shifting a little closer and pressing a kiss to Jared's neck. They stayed like that for half an hour, slumbering and just enjoying each other’s company before Jared shook Jensen’s shoulder slightly to rouse him.
“You should get back to set,” he said. “Get some real sleep before morning.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, reluctantly pushing himself into a sitting position. “Hate to leave you, though.”
He could feel Jared's grin against his back. “Well… I hate to see you go.”
Jensen laughed. “Only three more months.”
“Yeah. Ninety days. We can do that.”
“Yeah.”
Jared chuckled, running a hand over Jensen’s back and pulling his shirt up enough to be able to splay his fingers over Jensen’s lower back. “It does seem awfully long, though, when you are looking so fine.” He traced an idle pattern in the soft hairs of Jensen’s back.
“I’m not gonna be able to wait ninety seconds if you keep doing that,” Jensen groaned, arching his back to press against Jared's clever fingers.
Jared laughed and removed his hand, giving Jensen’s back one last pat. “Now off with you before I pull you down and make you stay the night.”
Jensen got up from the bed, albeit reluctantly, and turned to look at Jared who had his brave face on. The one that said, I don’t mind that you’re leaving for the real world, but please come back. Jensen smiled at him, bending over the bed to give him a quick kiss. Jared's brave face suddenly reminded him of the look on Steve's face as he’d left and he sighed as he straightened up.
“You know,” he said. “We need to do something about Chris and Steve.”
“Yeah,” Jared answered. “We’ll work something out.”
They shared a smile and then Jensen reluctantly turned towards the door. “Ninety days?” he asked as he put his fingers on the handle.
“Ninety days,” Jared assured him.
Jensen nodded slightly and opened the door. Ninety days was nothing, he could do it, and then Jared would be all his. If now they only could find a way to make Chris and Steve reconnect, or at least stop all the hurting, things would be great.
Chapter Twelve
Chris was the first one to arrive, striding into Jared's room without knocking, looking sharp in black slacks and a red tailored shirt. Jared smirked at the way he’d tucked the shirt in, showing off his flat stomach, but he refrained from pointing out how supremely gay it looked. Chris trust something that looked like flowers in a paper wrapping at Jared, before claiming one of the chairs and slouching down in a very Chris like manner.
“Thanks,” Jared said. “And hi.”
“Hey,” Chris responded, looking around with his mouth pressed into a think line. “So where are you hiding him?”
Jared winced. “Hiding who?” he asked, trying to sound innocent while he unwrapped the flowers.
“Steve,” Chris said, giving him a sourly look.
“Uh…” Jared pulled the flowers out and looked at them. It was a beautiful bouquet sparkling with colors and bound with green leaves. “Wow, they’re gorgeous,” he said, smelling them. “There’s a vase in the bathroom, mind getting it for me?”
Chris snorted. “Yes, but I’ll hold your flowers while you get it.”
Jared grinned and handed the flowers over before wheeling himself into the bathroom to get the vase. Chris was the only one that refused to treat him as an invalid. The others didn’t mean to, and they did it out of care, but it was nice to have someone that didn’t. He pulled the vase down from the shelf, grateful for his long arms, and filled it halfway with water before pressing it between his thighs and wheeling back out to Chris.
He’d only just gotten out of the bathroom when Steve and Jensen walked in, making Chris jump up from his sitting position, the flowers still clutched in his hand. Jensen silently moved over to stand next to Jared, putting a hand on Jared's shoulder as they watched Chris and Steve stare at each other. Then Chris promptly handed Jared's flowers over to Steve, who took them from him with a surprised look.
“The fuck, Chris,” Steve said and Chris looked mortified.
“Hey, douchebag,” Jared said. “I though those were my flowers.”
“Shut up,” Jensen hissed. “I’ll buy you new flowers tomorrow.”
Jared grinned at him and looked back in time to see Steve actually blushing slightly, an all too rarely seen treat.
“I brought a vase for you to keep them in until later,” Jared said, wheeling up to them.
“Thanks,” Steve said absentmindedly, still looking at Chris.
Jared sighed and extracted the flowers from Steve's hand, shoving them into the vase without removing the plastic. He put the flowers down on the table and gestured for Jensen to bring the take out that was tantalizing his nose from its greasy bags. After talking it through, they had decided on Chinese, because it had a good feeling to it. They used to eat Chinese take out on hung-over Sundays, all four of them lounging in Steve's living room because he was the only one that knew how to clean.
Jensen set the table with plastic plates and cutlery they had borrowed from the Pine Lodge kitchen, while Jared brought four beers from his tiny fridge. Steve and Chris both sat down at the table, not talking, but at least not running away either. Jensen unpacked the food and lined the containers up on the table before sitting down as well.
After a few moments of silence, Jared reached for one of the food containers, piling rice on his plate. They all turned to look at him like food were a foreign concept and he rolled his eyes.
“If y’all wanna sit there and look glum, it’s fine by me, but I’m going to eat.”
Jensen chuckled and soon they were all reaching for the food. It was funny how easily they fell into their old routine of shuffling the food around to each other, smelling and tasting before moving it around. Most of the talking during the meal was done by Jared and Jensen, as they discussed every safe subject they could possibly come up with, while trying not to be all over each other in an untimely way. Jared didn’t miss the way Steve and Chris kept glancing at each other, though, quick darting looks while the other wasn’t looking.
After they’d eaten their fill, Steve cleared the table efficiently, throwing away the empty containers and rinsing the cutlery off in the bathroom. Chris watched him with obvious amusement and Jared grinned at Jensen, maybe this hadn’t been a horrific idea after all. Following their plan, Jared and Jensen unsmoothly excused themselves for the kitchen, claiming they had to return the cutlery. Both Steve and Chris gave them pointed looks, but they ignored them. Jensen sat down on Jared's lap and put his feet on top of Jared's, grinning widely at them.
“One of us got to navigate, you know,” he said and Jared laughed, pressing his forehead against Jensen’s back.
He wheeled the two of them out of the room with a little help from Jensen’s running commentary of where they were going, stopping just outside the door to let Jensen off his lap. They had already agreed that Jared would stay and watch the door, not letting anyone run off in anger, while Jensen ran to the kitchen with the cutlery.
Jared parked himself by the side of the door and watched it warily, like it might explode if he was unlucky. Nothing had happened by the time Jensen got back, so he slid down on Jared's lap to wait with him. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s waist, leaning his head between his shoulder blades.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” he asked.
“I dunno,” Jensen answered. “I still think we should have handed out that list of conversation topics. I bet they’re just staring at each other.”
Jared chuckled, nuzzling his face against Jensen’s back. “I said you could give it to them if you wanted. It was just that I wouldn’t do it.”
“I have to work with them,” Jensen said. “While you can hide out here and have them banned if they are being difficult.”
“Yeah, but I can’t run away.”
“Hmpf,” Jensen said, his hands coming to rest over Jared's on his stomach. “How much would it cost me to have you drop your hands to my lap?”
Jared laughed. “I’d do it for free, but do you really want them to catch us with my hands down your pants?”
“Uh… Sorry, you lost me when you started talking about putting your hands in my pants… How many days?”
“Seventy-nine.”
“Not less?”
“No.”
“Seventy-nine,” Jensen repeated. “I can get through another seventy-nine days without sex. It’s no big deal.”
“Baby,” Jared huffed. “I’ve gotten through more than two years without sex, you better get through the next seventy-nine days, or I will kick your sorry ass.”
“I’m the last person you had sex with,” Jensen said suddenly.
“I know.”
“I… That’s just… wow.”
Jared didn’t answer, pressing his lips against the worn cotton of Jensen’s t-shirt. He didn’t like to think about the fact that he was not the last person Jensen had sex with, well he was, but before that. Sometimes at night he couldn’t stop thinking about all the nameless persons that had passed through Jensen’s bed since their night, wondering if he’d find someone he knew there… Chris? Steve?
“Jen?”
“Yeah?”
“Was there… Did you…” He cut himself off, not even knowing what he wanted to ask.
“Did I what?” Jensen asked.
“Forget it,” Jared said. “I don’t really want to know.”
“Did I have sex with other people in the last two years? Yes. Did any of them mean anything to me, more than a hole to shove my dick in? No.”
Jared smiled a little. “Do I mean more than a hole to shove your dick in?” he asked.
“See, now you’re just fishing for it, and just so you know, I plan for the shoving to be on your part.”
Jared grinned, deftly pulling Jensen’s t-shirt up to lick the tanned skin of his back. “Sounds like a plan,” he murmured, his cock doing its best to initiate some shoving through their clothes.
Jensen groaned. “I changed my mind, I don’t care if the entire world sees you with your hands down my pants.”
Jared chuckled and pulled Jensen’s shirt down again, shifting to press against Jensen’s ass for a second. “I don’t think so,” he said. “You’ll get it in due time.”
Jensen huffed and sat in silence for a few moments. “I love you,” he said then, the words never failing to make Jared feel mushy inside.
“Yeah,” Jared said, leaning his cheek against Jensen’s shoulder blade. “Me too.”
The door to Jared's room opened and Chris walked out. He stopped when he caught sight of the two of them.
“Jen, would you walk me to my car?” he asked.
“Sure,” Jensen said, getting up from Jared's knees. Chris started walking and Jensen mouthed ‘see you later’ over his shoulder before hurrying to catch up with him.
Jared looked after them for a moment before wheeling himself into his room, where Steve was seated on his bed, looking at the flowers on the table.
“So,” Jared said when Steve didn’t volunteer any information.
“I don’t know if I love you or hate you,” Steve said, turning to fix him with a blue-eyed glare.
Jared winced. “You can’t fault us for trying. We just want to see you happy.”
“Did it ever occur to you that compared to you and Jensen, pretty much everything pales? It’s hard to talk about the past and not be judging when we both know we screwed up our chance of having what you have.”
“I’m sorry,” Jared said, licking his lips. “Not for being happy, because if you excuse me, I think I deserve it, but for trying to fix something that was my fault to begin with.”
“Your fault? Jared, no. It wasn’t like that.”
“So you’re saying you would have broken up with Chris and screwed your chances to have the perfect life even if it wasn’t for me?”
“Yes… No. Fuck, Jare, you can’t phrase it like that. Breaking up with Chris was my mistake and nothing I’ve ever blamed you for.”
Jared huffed and rolled over to the window, looking out over the park. “Did you at least talk things through?”
“Yeah, we did.”
“And…”
“And we decided to at least be civil to each other. We both made mistakes, it happened and we can’t go back in time. I hurt him, he hurt me, it’s water under the bridge.”
Jared nodded. “It’s a start, yeah? Maybe you can at least be friends again.”
“I don’t know,” Steve said. “I still can’t look at him and not want more, you know.”
Jared chuckled. “Believe me, I know.”
He spun around and Steve smiled at him. “Thanks for making us sit down and talk. No matter where we go from here… We needed that.”
Jared smiled. “So you love me then.”
Steve laughed. “Always, Jare. Always. I better go now… If I let Jensen come back here to get me, I won’t be back for another few hours, and Jeff wanted to go through the car we’re using for the jump with me.”
Jared laughed. “Okay, see you, bro.”
“See you.”
Steve walked out the door and disappeared down the corridor. Jared looked after him for the longest of whiles, hoping against hope that things would work out for his brother and Chris. It was so obvious that old feelings were still there; it was just a question if they would ever be ready to give in to them again.
Chapter Thirteen and Chapter Fourteen
Author: jeyhawk
Pairings/Characters: Jared/Jensen, Steve/Chris brief mentions of Mike/Tom.
Rating: Overall NC17
Category: Angst, Romance, Erotica, AU
Summary: Introductory post (with pictures) to the stuntman!verse can be found here. Steve's a stuntman, Chris a director, Jensen an actor and Jared's in a wheelchair. Two years ago Jared's accident changed their relationships forever, but now they find themselves on the set for the same movie. Will the past prove to be too much, or can they find their ways back to each other?
Disclaimer: I don't know them, own them or make any money from them. This is just a bunch of inventive lies.
Warnings: AU.
Wordcount: 33 196 for the entire series.
Beta: ames1010 Love you babe!
Thanks to: lissa_bear, titheniel, laugiana_fanfic and sasskitten for encouragement and character evaluations.
Notes: This story is finished, but it'll be posted in parts to give my beta some time to weave her magic wand. :0) Every chapter brings a new POV in the order Steve, Chris, Jensen, Jared and back from the start, but of course pretty much every chapter deals with all of them. :0) Title snatched from Steve with love. :0P
Chapter Nine
Steve was in a right pissy mood, but what else was new? He’d actually been in a pretty good mood a couple of hours ago as he sat down to wait for Jensen to get back so that he could apologize for being a dick lately and patch their friendship up. Not being on speaking terms with Jensen made him feel itchy inside, like something was chafing in his little oyster world.
They’d lost so much already, all of them, and he didn’t want to add another friendship to that list. Of course that was before the hours stretched out without any sign of Jensen, which pissed him off for no particular reason. Of course, between damned near constant twinges from his fucked up back, and the way even hearing Chris’s voice grated on his nerves, it really didn’t take much for him to blow up.
Jensen finally sailed in through the door well after midnight, the grin on his face bright enough to power Las Vegas for days.
“Where have you been?” Steve asked, accusation heavy in his voice.
“Out,” Jensen replied, his grin getting, if possible, even brighter.
“With whom?” Steve asked, getting up from the couch and trailing after Jensen as he moved towards his bedroom.
“None of you business,” Jensen replied, pulling his t-shirt over his head and letting it drop to the floor.
Steve picked it up with an annoyed huff, hanging it over the back of a chair.
“Why do you seem so goddamned happy?”
Jensen turned around to face him, framed by the door to his bedroom. “Because I am goddamned happy and you acting like my fucking wife ain’t going to change that in the slightest.”
The both heard the low hum of Jensen’s phone vibrating in Jensen’s pocket and Jensen fished it out, keeping his eyes trained on Steve like it was a challenge.
“Jensen,” he answered after flipping it open and a few seconds later his grin turned into a pleased husky laugh that made Steve shiver, even though it certainly wasn’t for him. “Yeah,” he murmured into the mouthpiece. “You can bet your ass it was real, you freak. No one has dreams that good.”
He mouthed ‘goodnight’ to Steve, closing the door in his face, the muted sound of his talking drifting to the door as he walked away from it. Steve pressed his lips together and thought of breaking the fucking door down and beating the crap out of him. Jensen being this happy could only mean he met someone and the last he’d heard, Jensen had been heading out to wine and dine some fan. It was none of his business, but he wanted to break every bone in Jensen’s body for giving up on his little brother. Those two at least had a vague shot at happiness. Jensen wasn’t allowed to give that up.
When Steve got out of bed the following morning his mood hadn’t exactly improved, despite the pretty spectacular wet dream he’d had about Chris, but he decided to pay Jared a visit anyway. He’d been neglecting his brother ever since the day of the hill stunt and Jared, if anyone, would be able to deal with his moods.
Jensen’s truck was gone when Steve made his way out to the lot and he frowned, wondering how come he hadn’t heard him leave. It wasn’t like Jensen was normally a morning person and he made an unholy lot of noise as he made breakfast. Pushing the thought away with a renewed surge of annoyance, Steve got into his own dusty truck and turned the key in the ignition.
The engine roared to life and he was just about to put the car into reverse when he noticed Chris walking across the empty space between the trailers. His dark head was bowed low, his shoulders slumped, and Steve followed him with his eyes until he rounded the corner and disappeared out of view. His first instinct was to go after him and find out what was wrong, but then he remembered Chris’s venomous I hate you and decided against it, following him would just lead to another blow up.
The drive to Pine Lodge was uneventful. Chris used to joke that Steve would be able to navigate heavy traffic blindfolded and even though it wasn’t entirely true, it was close to it. He wasn’t stupid enough to let his guard down, though, because even if he trusted himself, he knew that he couldn’t put the same trust in the rest of the morons on the road.
He was surprised to see Jensen’s truck in the parking lot as he pulled up, yet another wave of annoyance suffusing him. Apparently Jensen was even stupider than he’d given him credit for, rushing here to tell Jared his good news about whoever he’d met last night when he was hard pressed to visit him on a normal day.
Convinced that Jared would need him, he stalked in through the main doors, barely nodding to the nurse behind the desk before he took off down the hall towards Jared's room. He was just about to throw the door open when the sound of Jared's laugh made him pause with his hand pressed flat to the cold surface of the door.
He balled his hand into a fist and knocked instead of just running in, a muffled come in reaching his ears. Swallowing, he opened the door and stepped in, his eyes taking in the sight before him. Jared was sitting in his wheelchair beside the bed, while Jensen was lying on his side on the bed, one of Jensen’s hands captured between both of Jared's. The remains of a hearty breakfast for two was left on the table, and the way the two of them were looking at each other told Steve everything he needed to know about the current situation.
Jared looked up when he walked in and tried to let go of Jensen’s hand, only Jensen wouldn’t let him.
“Hey, Steve,” Jared said, smiling a little as a blush crept up his cheeks.
“Hey,” Steve answered, leaning back against the wall and studying them with half a smile on his lips. “And to think I thought I was going to have to kick Jensen’s ass for finding someone else and breaking your heart.”
Jared grinned a little, ducking his chin. Steve let his eyes slide over to Jensen, who was watching him defiantly from the bed, apparently waiting for another round of hard words to come his way.
“So it was Jared, huh?” he said. “That made you so happy last night.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, giving Jared a loving look.
He scooted forward a little and Jared leaned up, the two of them sharing a kiss that seemed to drag on forever.
“Okay, I get it,” he said. “Enough.”
Jared laughed when they broke apart and Steve really hoped he only imagined the husky note to it. “It’s not like I wasn’t damaged in my most formative years by catching you and Chris having sex.”
“It taught you a valuable lesson,” Steve defended himself.
“What Chris looks like sitting on your cock?” Jared asked innocently, making Jensen laugh.
“No,” Steve made a face. “To knock before going into my bedroom.”
Jared laughed again, both he and Jensen positively beaming with the glow of re-found love. Something inside of Steve unravelled and a wistful smile slid on to his face. If only he could do what the two of them had done so easily - pushing the last two years out of the way and reconnecting with each other.
“Uh, Jen,” he said softly, almost shyly. “I’m really sorry for being a dick to you lately.”
“It’s okay,” Jensen said, stretching languidly. “I feel so fucking great right now that I would probably have forgiven you if you’d shot my mom.”
Steve chuckled. “Yeah, I figured.”
Jared gave him a serious look, letting go of Jensen’s hand for a moment in favour of wheeling up to Steve. “Come here,” he said, tugging Steve down for a hug, his long arms wrapping around Steve's neck.
Steve allowed himself to cling to him for a moment, his back sending rather urgent messages to his brain about how much it hated the way he was bending forward. This was not how he’d planned for the day to go, Jared comforting him instead of the other way around.
He straightened up, looking down at his baby brother, who looked so much stronger now than he had the last time he saw him. The shadows were finally gone from his eyes and the damned near constant frown on his face washed away, leaving him looking impossibly young. Jensen must have cut his hair, too, because it no longer reached down to his shoulders.
“You’re looking good, Jay,” he remarked.
“Damn straight,” Jensen filled in from the bed, turning the grin on Jared's face up a few notches.
“I wish I could say the same,” Jared said with a wry look.
He shrugged awkwardly, looking away.
“You should talk to him,” Jared said and Steve didn’t bother to ask who he meant. “It might not solve anything, but you should clear the air.”
“We already tried that,” he said. “It didn’t go down very well.”
Jensen shifted impatiently on the bed behind them and seemingly without conscious thought, Jared rolled backwards until he was next to the foot of the bed, slinging an arm over the leg Jensen moved in his direction - like they couldn’t stand not to be touching. Steve smiled wryly. He remembered what that felt like, even if it had never been quite as easy when Chris was one half of the twosome.
Still, if there was even half a chance he could have that again, with the best friend he ever had, wasn’t it worth fighting for? Chris had never been too good with the emotional shit - that had always been Steve's job - so maybe it was still the same. Maybe all those kisses had been Chris’s way of saying it was still possible, that Steve could have him if he just asked nicely enough.
Jensen was looking at him with an unreadable look on his face. “I don’t think Chris is over you,” he said simply.
Steve smiled a little. “Really? His parting words to me the last time we met were I hate you.”
“If anything, I think that proves my point,” Jensen said, sneakily using his leg to push Jared backwards so that he could reach him with his hands. “If he was really over you, do you think he would bother to hate you? I saw you kissing at the kick off party… those were not the kisses of two people that are over each other.”
“Yeah…” Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, well…”
“One of you is going to have to be the grown up,” Jared said, and it was unbecoming of them to team up on him, and also to hold each others hands like they were doing because it looked like sex.
“And we all know it ain’t going to be Chris,” Jensen filled in, smiling at Jared.
Steve looked at them for a few seconds before deciding that it was time to leave before whatever they were doing with their hands became X rated.
“I’ll think on it,” he said vaguely. “Anyway, I’m gonna go now.”
“You don’t have to,” Jared said, sounding entirely unconvincing.
“It’s okay,” he said. “You two have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said. “We have.”
“Okay, so… See you another day, Jare. See you later, Jen.”
“Yeah,” they said in unison and he shook his head fondly, a little of their happiness managing to catch on him.
As he walked down the corridor and back out to his car, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He couldn’t believe his baby brother had finally gotten his happily ever after, if they even thought of trying for something else, he would hit them over the head with something hard. Now maybe it was time to start thinking about what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. The money he would make for 100 Proof would be more then enough to pay for Jared's hospital bills and the stay at Pine Lodge.
Jared paid for law school himself through a well-earned scholarship and once he was out of Pine Lodge, Steve knew he wanted to care for himself best as he could. He had been very worried about that, the thought of Jared living on his own, scaring the crap out of him, but now that Jared had Jensen he knew that it would be all right. They might not move in together, but at least Jensen would be keeping tabs on Jared in a way that Jared would never let him do.
So where did he want to go? The answer to that question was as simple as it had always been. Back in time.
Chapter Ten
If there was one thing Chris had learned, it was that life always threw you curve balls. Once he’d thought that recognition and fame was all he really wanted. Boy, had he been wrong about that, because although recognition and the respect that came with it was nice, fame wasn’t really all it had been cranked up to be. He was sick and tired of being recognized, of people wanting a piece of him.
He craved the anonymousity he’d once had, when the only people recognizing him had been people he actually knew. Now he found himself floundering all too often, wondering if the person accosting him was someone he was supposed to recognize, someone he’d fucked or worked with. He hid his insecurity behind a mask of indifference and that wasn’t right, because he’d never been anything if not sure of himself.
The whole situation on set was another thing that hadn’t gone as he planned at all. He’d hired Jensen on a whim and because he knew Jen had a lot more in him than being the hottest star on TV. His beauty, while a blessing, would always be something of a curse because people didn’t look to see what was beneath the surface (another curve ball, right there). Now Chris knew him, knew Jensen had a depth that few people would ever see, so he’d wanted to give him a chance to prove that.
He’d thought that working with Jensen would be great, that they’d watch the dailies and kick back in the evenings, having a few beers, catching up. But Jensen had added Steve into the mix, and when Chris had realized what was going on it was already too late, Jeff having made up his mind. So in the end, Chris had a great cast, a great script and a set full of friends that didn’t want to hang with him. It was loserish and pathetic, but he’d never been so lonely in his life.
“Jesus, Chris, are you moping again?” Chris looked up with a scowl as Mike stepped into his trailer without knocking.
“I don’t mope,” he snarled, giving Mike a hostile look.
“Uh huh,” Mike answered, walking over to the beer cooler and putting a new bottle in front of Chris on the table. “I’ve noticed.”
Chris took the offered bottled, twisting the cap off and taking a few long pulls. Mike was making himself comfortable in one of the armchairs, stretching his legs out in front of him.
“Tom wanted me to ask if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight.”
Chris glanced at him over the bottle. “Will Tom be the one cooking?”
“Yeah.”
“In that case…No.”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with Tommy’s cooking.”
Chris snorted. “You are the only person in the known universe that can even fathom eating his cooking. Seriously, people have died from just seeing it on a plate.”
Mike pouted. “Don’t be mean to my man, I might have to kick your ass.”
Chris huffed. “I’d like to see you try.”
A few more gulps finished the bottle and Chris put it down on the table with a clonk.
“How did the two of you meet anyway?”
It was a sad testament to how fucking horrible Chris was at the buddy-buddy stuff, that he’d know Mike for almost two years and never actually asked.
“He broke my arm,” Mike said with a fond smile, pulling his sleeve up to show the faint traces of a scar lining his left lower arm.
Chris blinked. “He broke your arm?”
“Yeah, he ran me over with his bike.”
“Oh.”
Mike laughed. “I was late for some meeting, or another, hurrying down the street, when suddenly out of nowhere this out of control biker appears, running right into me and knocking me over. Next thing I know, I’m lying on the street, clutching my arm that just felt wrong somehow and he was leaning over me. I thought I’d…”
“If you say anything about heaven, or angels, I will use this bottle to show you the real thing.”
“Chris… You’re the only person I’ve ever met that is actually allergic to flower talk. Seriously, how did you ever manage to have a relationship that lasted longer than three minutes?” Mike asked, sounding exasperated.
“Who says I’ve had one?”
“No one, but if that stuntman you can’t stop mooning over isn’t your ex, then Tom is fucking Superman.”
Chris clenched his jaw, he did not want to think about Steve at the moment. “So what happened next? You were lying there with a broken arm, looking up at Tom and thinking sappy thoughts…”
“He followed me to the hospital, waiting around while they did the x-rays and put the cast on, apologizing once every two seconds…”
“They put a cast on? Then how did you get the scar?”
“It didn’t set right, so when they took the cast off they had to break the bone again and use titanium screws to set it right… Your anal retentive attention to detail can really ruin a story, do you know that?”
Chris didn’t even answer that, choosing to use the lull in conversation to get himself another beer.
“So anyway,” Mike continued when it became clear Chris wasn’t going to answer. “Once I was done, it was really late and all I really wanted was to get home and sleep for a year. Tom wanted to make sure I got home safely and I ended up asking him to stay over.” Mike grinned. “He hasn’t moved out since.”
Chris smiled a little. “Just like that?”
“There was just something… right… about him, about us.”
Chris didn’t answer, staring unseeingly at the turned off TV. “Do you believe there is just one right person for everyone?” he asked.
Mike pursed his lips. “I don’t know. Maybe there are a lot of rights out there, but chances are your paths will never cross, so if you find one and everything about you clicks, then you better hold on to that person because who knows when the next right one will come along.”
“But isn’t it ever difficult? Don’t you ever fight?”
Mike laughed. “We fight all the time and we used to break up once a month, like clockwork. My family… they hate Tom. I don’t think it has anything to do with the fact that he’s a man, but they don’t think he’s got the right class. I was the one to propose, but when it came down to it, I backed out so many times Tom almost gave up on me. Just because we’re right for each other, and goddamned happy, it doesn’t mean it was always easy.”
“You freak me out when you’re all reasonable and deep,” Chris pointed out.
Mike laughed. “Good thing it doesn’t happen very often then.”
Chris emptied the new bottle, putting it down beside the other one the table. “Steve is… was my best friend. I’ve known him since I was seven years old.”
Mike didn’t comment, seemingly holding his breath and waiting for Chris to go on.
“We grew up in the same neighbourhood and Steve was just the coolest kid on the street, you know? It didn’t matter that he was one year younger than me because he could do the coolest things.” Chris grinned. “Both his parents were stuntmen and they taught their kids the trade early on. It was like having a superhero for a friend.”
Mike laughed a little, getting up to get himself a beer and bringing one back for Chris, as well. Chris took it and studied the label for a few seconds, sometimes he’d kill for a Corona, no matter how many unwelcome memories the taste carried with it.
“So the two of you were friends… and you both know Jensen somehow…”
“Yeah. Jen moved into the house next to Steve's when I was sixteen and he was such a baby, you know, so we wouldn’t have hung out with him if it wasn’t for the fact that we spent a whole lotta time babysitting Jared, Steve's baby brother. Jared thought Jensen was the shit for some reason, so we let Jensen tag along to keep an eye on Jare because that kid was on speed through most of his pre-pubertal life.”
Mike chuckled. “I’ve never met him, but from what I’ve heard of Jared Padalecki, that didn’t change much later on… Why don’t they have the same last name, by the way?”
“Their parents never married, so Steve has his dad’s name and Jared their mom’s. Don’t really know why.”
“So… you were only friends then? Nothing more.”
Chris looked up to find Mike watching him with a little smile. “Oh we were more, a whole lot more even,” he said, breaking eye contact and looking down at his bottle. “I was like, seventeen, the first time I thought of Steve as something more of a friend, but I didn’t act on it for years and when I finally did, it took a whole lotta convincing.” He chuckled. “Steve didn’t find my track record with relationships all that impressive. He was always a one person at a time kind of guy, you know? Dedicated and loving and all that jazz, while I never committed to anyone.”
“Like now, then,” Mike remarked.
Chris huffed. “Yeah… kind of like now. There really only ever was one person that was worth all my time, you know?” His face fell. “But in the end he decided he didn’t want it.”
Mike put his bottle down on the table and looked at him. “So how about that dinner?” he asked, smiling softly. There was something like pity in his eyes and Chris didn’t need anyone’s pity.
He shook his head stubbornly, refusing to even look at Mike.
“Come on. We’ll pick up some take out on the way. By now Tom ought to have demolished the kitchen and ruined dinner good and proper. It’ll be nice, just hanging out. So right now you don’t have what you used to have… the four of you being so close you couldn’t get a paper in between you, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have friends. So stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself and count your blessings instead of your woes.”
Chris looked up with a start, smiling a little. “Yeah, well…” he grumbled. “I am kind of hungry.”
“That’s my boy,” Mike said getting up. “Grab your jacket and let’s get out of here.”
Chris got up, as well, looking around the trailer to see if there was anything else he needed. Mike was right, of course, he’d spent way too much time feeling sorry for himself lately. Thinking about the past changed nothing about the present; only he could do that, and he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what he really wanted.
Chapter Eleven
Jensen was stupidly, ridiculously happy - so happy that he couldn’t keep his shit-eating grin off his face at any hour of the day, really. He was pretty sure he even grinned in his sleep, even though his bed felt huge and lonely without Jared. It was a nice feeling, or well, really fricking awesome feeling, but it messed with his work to the point where he got called to the sidelines by Chris after fucking up the seventh take of a very deep and emotional scene with his grin.
“Jensen,” Chris said, shaking his head slightly. “This isn’t working. Now I know you are happy, and I’m happy for you, but you are messing with my movie and I don’t like that at all.”
Jensen tried to answer, but Chris cut him off. “I want you to think really hard about that day Jared had the accident, okay? I want you to consider the two years you wasted, letting him lie in his lonely bed, reaching for any scrap of you that he could have. I want you to remember that you didn’t have the decency to even give him your new number when you changed it. How do you think that made him feel, huh?”
Jensen’s face fell and he licked his lips, glancing towards his chair where he’d left his cell phone. He had treated Jared like crap and he did know that Jared hadn’t forgotten and that he very likely was just waiting for it to happen again.
“He knows you’re surrounded by beautiful people all day long, people who have their own lives and legs to walk on. People who have been wiping their own asses for the last couple of years, and he’s bound to be thinking that you’re going to hook up with one of them. We both know Jared, Jen. He’s scarily transparent sometimes.”
“I better…” Jensen got half a step towards his phone before Chris stopped him with an arm over his chest.
“No, you better get back to your mark and nail this fucking scene for me or I will call Jared and tell him that you and me decided that we were just too pretty to not get it on with each other.”
Jensen blinked. “You wouldn’t.”
“Oh yes, I would,” Chris said, sounding deadly serious.
Jensen licked his lips and glanced towards his phone again. Chris made a warning noise, giving him a little shove in the right direction (that apparently wasn’t his phone). Jensen trudged back to his mark, thinking about Jared back at Pine Lodge with nothing better to do than physiotherapy and waiting for Jensen. It was already late enough that it would be well after nine before he got there and he knew that whatever Jared said, he started worrying after nine.
When Chris yelled action he immediately shoved the thoughts of Jared out of his mind, entering the mindset of Chance, the character he was portraying. He found that it came much easier to him this time - Chance feeling crappy and guilt ridden in the same way Chris had made him feel. They did three takes in a row with Jensen delivering increasingly emotional and desperate performances as the clock ticked towards ten. This time no one could fault Jensen’s performance, the delays were all about Chris’s nitpickiness.
They did a fourth and final take and once Chris yelled cut, he knew they got it. Chris approached him with a huge grin on his face.
“I knew there was a reason I cast you,” he said. “That was awesome, man.”
Jensen grinned with his entire face, even though Chris was his friend, he didn’t give praise unless it was well deserved.
“Well, what are you still doing here?” Chris asked when Jensen didn’t make any move to leave. “I thought you’d be halfway to Pine Lodge by now.”
Jensen blinked and then he took off running towards his trailer, with Chris’s laughter following him. Steve was on the couch when he got in, watching TV and having a beer, but he barely had time to nod at him before he was in the bedroom shrugging out of Chance’s clothes and hitting the shower. Twenty minutes later he emerged in his own jeans and t-shirt, bringing Chance’s clothes with him, neatly folded.
“Steve, could you drop these off at wardrobe for me?” he asked, showing him the pile of clothes.
“Sure,” Steve said, taking them from Jensen’s hands. “Give Jared my love.”
“I will,” Jensen said and turned towards the door. He glanced back one last time before leaving, catching Steve with a look of near despair on his face that pretty much gutted him. It morphed into a smile and a questioning glance when he noticed Jensen looking, though, and Jensen smiled back, throwing a goodbye over his shoulder.
He parked his truck far away from the main building and hurried up to the entrance. Even though he did have the right to come and go 24-hours a day, he was still embarrassed to show up in the middle of the night. He had the pass pinned to his shirt, but they barely looked at it before letting him in. Word had spread that Jensen Ackles had a friend in the facility and they all saw him on a pretty much daily basis.
A few days ago he’d even made the rounds around the patients, chatting and writing autographs to those who wanted. Amanda’s mom had asked him if he’d consider it, at least for the children in the place, and he hadn’t minded in the slightest. Despite Jared's protests he’d dragged him along, as well, gushing to everyone about his best friend.
Jared was asleep when he pushed the door open, the only illumination in the room the TV’s flickering light playing over his face. Jensen smiled at him, closing the door softly after himself. He walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge of it, touching a hand to Jared's face and waking him with a start.
“Hey,” Jared said, giving him a sleepy smile.
“Hey,” Jensen responded with an answering smile on his lips.
Jared pushed himself into sitting position and they shared a short, sweet kiss before Jared let himself fall back on the bed.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, glancing at the clock. “I thought you had an early call tomorrow.”
“I do,” Jensen answered. “I just… I wanted to see you.”
“Yeah, well, you don’t hear me complaining.” Jared reached out and curled a hand around Jensen’s wrist.
Jared scooted over slightly and Jensen kicked his shoes off, lying down on his side next to him. It was a bit of a tight fit, but it wasn’t like Jensen minded having to hold on to Jared.
“So how was your day?” Jensen asked, putting his head on Jared's shoulder; the energy that had kept him going for the last few hours draining away slowly.
Jared ran his fingers through Jensen’s still damp hair. “I finished up the last essay, so now I’m essentially on vacation until the next semester, having made up for the stuff I missed after the surgery.”
“Congratulations,” Jensen said, flattening his palm against Jared's broad chest. “How was the poking and prodding of the day?”
“It was okay. They say I’m making progress.”
Jensen smiled a little, snuggling closer. Jared didn’t like to talk about the physiotherapy or what the doctors were saying, either because he didn’t want to jinx it, or because he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Jensen really had no idea if Jared would ever be able to walk again, or if he would be carried by a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He found that he didn’t really care. He wanted Jared to be able to walk again for his own sake, because Jared wanted it. He would just as well take Jared exactly as he was now.
“You know…” Jared said. “It’s only three months until they let me out of here. After that I will have three appointments a week, then two, then one and then at some point in the future, when they have done all they can for me… none.”
“Can’t wait to have you to myself,” Jensen said sincerely. “You are moving in with me, right?”
There was a startled silence. “I… uhm… you want me to?”
“Of course.”
Jared used a finger to tilt Jensen’s chin up for a slow, deep kiss. “Yeah,” Jared murmured when they broke apart, his breath moist on Jensen's lips. “Yeah, I’m moving in with you.”
Jensen made a content sound at the back of his throat and tucked his head in under Jared's chin. He had to leave soon, but until then he wanted to snuggle. After that first time, they’d done their best to keep their urges under control. The risk was too high and the two of them getting caught could lead to a whole lot of agony neither of them needed right now.
Jared went back to threading his fingers through Jensen’s hair. “You falling asleep on me?” Jared asked.
“Almost,” Jensen answered. “Can’t wait til I can sleep curled around you every night.”
Jared chuckled, his hand on Jensen’s head pausing for a moment. “You really want me to move in with you?”
“Yeah, just you try to get a place of your own.”
“But what about your career?”
“I guess I’ll have to go back to doing TV, or playing the token gay guy in every other movie, maybe doing a bit of theatre…” He shrugged awkwardly. “We keep it under wraps for as long as we can, and when the truth gets out… Well, then it does.”
“I love you,” Jared said, his voice slightly rough.
“Sap,” Jensen responded, but he was smiling.
“Sue me.”
Jensen chuckled, shifting a little closer and pressing a kiss to Jared's neck. They stayed like that for half an hour, slumbering and just enjoying each other’s company before Jared shook Jensen’s shoulder slightly to rouse him.
“You should get back to set,” he said. “Get some real sleep before morning.”
“Yeah,” Jensen said, reluctantly pushing himself into a sitting position. “Hate to leave you, though.”
He could feel Jared's grin against his back. “Well… I hate to see you go.”
Jensen laughed. “Only three more months.”
“Yeah. Ninety days. We can do that.”
“Yeah.”
Jared chuckled, running a hand over Jensen’s back and pulling his shirt up enough to be able to splay his fingers over Jensen’s lower back. “It does seem awfully long, though, when you are looking so fine.” He traced an idle pattern in the soft hairs of Jensen’s back.
“I’m not gonna be able to wait ninety seconds if you keep doing that,” Jensen groaned, arching his back to press against Jared's clever fingers.
Jared laughed and removed his hand, giving Jensen’s back one last pat. “Now off with you before I pull you down and make you stay the night.”
Jensen got up from the bed, albeit reluctantly, and turned to look at Jared who had his brave face on. The one that said, I don’t mind that you’re leaving for the real world, but please come back. Jensen smiled at him, bending over the bed to give him a quick kiss. Jared's brave face suddenly reminded him of the look on Steve's face as he’d left and he sighed as he straightened up.
“You know,” he said. “We need to do something about Chris and Steve.”
“Yeah,” Jared answered. “We’ll work something out.”
They shared a smile and then Jensen reluctantly turned towards the door. “Ninety days?” he asked as he put his fingers on the handle.
“Ninety days,” Jared assured him.
Jensen nodded slightly and opened the door. Ninety days was nothing, he could do it, and then Jared would be all his. If now they only could find a way to make Chris and Steve reconnect, or at least stop all the hurting, things would be great.
Chapter Twelve
Chris was the first one to arrive, striding into Jared's room without knocking, looking sharp in black slacks and a red tailored shirt. Jared smirked at the way he’d tucked the shirt in, showing off his flat stomach, but he refrained from pointing out how supremely gay it looked. Chris trust something that looked like flowers in a paper wrapping at Jared, before claiming one of the chairs and slouching down in a very Chris like manner.
“Thanks,” Jared said. “And hi.”
“Hey,” Chris responded, looking around with his mouth pressed into a think line. “So where are you hiding him?”
Jared winced. “Hiding who?” he asked, trying to sound innocent while he unwrapped the flowers.
“Steve,” Chris said, giving him a sourly look.
“Uh…” Jared pulled the flowers out and looked at them. It was a beautiful bouquet sparkling with colors and bound with green leaves. “Wow, they’re gorgeous,” he said, smelling them. “There’s a vase in the bathroom, mind getting it for me?”
Chris snorted. “Yes, but I’ll hold your flowers while you get it.”
Jared grinned and handed the flowers over before wheeling himself into the bathroom to get the vase. Chris was the only one that refused to treat him as an invalid. The others didn’t mean to, and they did it out of care, but it was nice to have someone that didn’t. He pulled the vase down from the shelf, grateful for his long arms, and filled it halfway with water before pressing it between his thighs and wheeling back out to Chris.
He’d only just gotten out of the bathroom when Steve and Jensen walked in, making Chris jump up from his sitting position, the flowers still clutched in his hand. Jensen silently moved over to stand next to Jared, putting a hand on Jared's shoulder as they watched Chris and Steve stare at each other. Then Chris promptly handed Jared's flowers over to Steve, who took them from him with a surprised look.
“The fuck, Chris,” Steve said and Chris looked mortified.
“Hey, douchebag,” Jared said. “I though those were my flowers.”
“Shut up,” Jensen hissed. “I’ll buy you new flowers tomorrow.”
Jared grinned at him and looked back in time to see Steve actually blushing slightly, an all too rarely seen treat.
“I brought a vase for you to keep them in until later,” Jared said, wheeling up to them.
“Thanks,” Steve said absentmindedly, still looking at Chris.
Jared sighed and extracted the flowers from Steve's hand, shoving them into the vase without removing the plastic. He put the flowers down on the table and gestured for Jensen to bring the take out that was tantalizing his nose from its greasy bags. After talking it through, they had decided on Chinese, because it had a good feeling to it. They used to eat Chinese take out on hung-over Sundays, all four of them lounging in Steve's living room because he was the only one that knew how to clean.
Jensen set the table with plastic plates and cutlery they had borrowed from the Pine Lodge kitchen, while Jared brought four beers from his tiny fridge. Steve and Chris both sat down at the table, not talking, but at least not running away either. Jensen unpacked the food and lined the containers up on the table before sitting down as well.
After a few moments of silence, Jared reached for one of the food containers, piling rice on his plate. They all turned to look at him like food were a foreign concept and he rolled his eyes.
“If y’all wanna sit there and look glum, it’s fine by me, but I’m going to eat.”
Jensen chuckled and soon they were all reaching for the food. It was funny how easily they fell into their old routine of shuffling the food around to each other, smelling and tasting before moving it around. Most of the talking during the meal was done by Jared and Jensen, as they discussed every safe subject they could possibly come up with, while trying not to be all over each other in an untimely way. Jared didn’t miss the way Steve and Chris kept glancing at each other, though, quick darting looks while the other wasn’t looking.
After they’d eaten their fill, Steve cleared the table efficiently, throwing away the empty containers and rinsing the cutlery off in the bathroom. Chris watched him with obvious amusement and Jared grinned at Jensen, maybe this hadn’t been a horrific idea after all. Following their plan, Jared and Jensen unsmoothly excused themselves for the kitchen, claiming they had to return the cutlery. Both Steve and Chris gave them pointed looks, but they ignored them. Jensen sat down on Jared's lap and put his feet on top of Jared's, grinning widely at them.
“One of us got to navigate, you know,” he said and Jared laughed, pressing his forehead against Jensen’s back.
He wheeled the two of them out of the room with a little help from Jensen’s running commentary of where they were going, stopping just outside the door to let Jensen off his lap. They had already agreed that Jared would stay and watch the door, not letting anyone run off in anger, while Jensen ran to the kitchen with the cutlery.
Jared parked himself by the side of the door and watched it warily, like it might explode if he was unlucky. Nothing had happened by the time Jensen got back, so he slid down on Jared's lap to wait with him. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s waist, leaning his head between his shoulder blades.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” he asked.
“I dunno,” Jensen answered. “I still think we should have handed out that list of conversation topics. I bet they’re just staring at each other.”
Jared chuckled, nuzzling his face against Jensen’s back. “I said you could give it to them if you wanted. It was just that I wouldn’t do it.”
“I have to work with them,” Jensen said. “While you can hide out here and have them banned if they are being difficult.”
“Yeah, but I can’t run away.”
“Hmpf,” Jensen said, his hands coming to rest over Jared's on his stomach. “How much would it cost me to have you drop your hands to my lap?”
Jared laughed. “I’d do it for free, but do you really want them to catch us with my hands down your pants?”
“Uh… Sorry, you lost me when you started talking about putting your hands in my pants… How many days?”
“Seventy-nine.”
“Not less?”
“No.”
“Seventy-nine,” Jensen repeated. “I can get through another seventy-nine days without sex. It’s no big deal.”
“Baby,” Jared huffed. “I’ve gotten through more than two years without sex, you better get through the next seventy-nine days, or I will kick your sorry ass.”
“I’m the last person you had sex with,” Jensen said suddenly.
“I know.”
“I… That’s just… wow.”
Jared didn’t answer, pressing his lips against the worn cotton of Jensen’s t-shirt. He didn’t like to think about the fact that he was not the last person Jensen had sex with, well he was, but before that. Sometimes at night he couldn’t stop thinking about all the nameless persons that had passed through Jensen’s bed since their night, wondering if he’d find someone he knew there… Chris? Steve?
“Jen?”
“Yeah?”
“Was there… Did you…” He cut himself off, not even knowing what he wanted to ask.
“Did I what?” Jensen asked.
“Forget it,” Jared said. “I don’t really want to know.”
“Did I have sex with other people in the last two years? Yes. Did any of them mean anything to me, more than a hole to shove my dick in? No.”
Jared smiled a little. “Do I mean more than a hole to shove your dick in?” he asked.
“See, now you’re just fishing for it, and just so you know, I plan for the shoving to be on your part.”
Jared grinned, deftly pulling Jensen’s t-shirt up to lick the tanned skin of his back. “Sounds like a plan,” he murmured, his cock doing its best to initiate some shoving through their clothes.
Jensen groaned. “I changed my mind, I don’t care if the entire world sees you with your hands down my pants.”
Jared chuckled and pulled Jensen’s shirt down again, shifting to press against Jensen’s ass for a second. “I don’t think so,” he said. “You’ll get it in due time.”
Jensen huffed and sat in silence for a few moments. “I love you,” he said then, the words never failing to make Jared feel mushy inside.
“Yeah,” Jared said, leaning his cheek against Jensen’s shoulder blade. “Me too.”
The door to Jared's room opened and Chris walked out. He stopped when he caught sight of the two of them.
“Jen, would you walk me to my car?” he asked.
“Sure,” Jensen said, getting up from Jared's knees. Chris started walking and Jensen mouthed ‘see you later’ over his shoulder before hurrying to catch up with him.
Jared looked after them for a moment before wheeling himself into his room, where Steve was seated on his bed, looking at the flowers on the table.
“So,” Jared said when Steve didn’t volunteer any information.
“I don’t know if I love you or hate you,” Steve said, turning to fix him with a blue-eyed glare.
Jared winced. “You can’t fault us for trying. We just want to see you happy.”
“Did it ever occur to you that compared to you and Jensen, pretty much everything pales? It’s hard to talk about the past and not be judging when we both know we screwed up our chance of having what you have.”
“I’m sorry,” Jared said, licking his lips. “Not for being happy, because if you excuse me, I think I deserve it, but for trying to fix something that was my fault to begin with.”
“Your fault? Jared, no. It wasn’t like that.”
“So you’re saying you would have broken up with Chris and screwed your chances to have the perfect life even if it wasn’t for me?”
“Yes… No. Fuck, Jare, you can’t phrase it like that. Breaking up with Chris was my mistake and nothing I’ve ever blamed you for.”
Jared huffed and rolled over to the window, looking out over the park. “Did you at least talk things through?”
“Yeah, we did.”
“And…”
“And we decided to at least be civil to each other. We both made mistakes, it happened and we can’t go back in time. I hurt him, he hurt me, it’s water under the bridge.”
Jared nodded. “It’s a start, yeah? Maybe you can at least be friends again.”
“I don’t know,” Steve said. “I still can’t look at him and not want more, you know.”
Jared chuckled. “Believe me, I know.”
He spun around and Steve smiled at him. “Thanks for making us sit down and talk. No matter where we go from here… We needed that.”
Jared smiled. “So you love me then.”
Steve laughed. “Always, Jare. Always. I better go now… If I let Jensen come back here to get me, I won’t be back for another few hours, and Jeff wanted to go through the car we’re using for the jump with me.”
Jared laughed. “Okay, see you, bro.”
“See you.”
Steve walked out the door and disappeared down the corridor. Jared looked after him for the longest of whiles, hoping against hope that things would work out for his brother and Chris. It was so obvious that old feelings were still there; it was just a question if they would ever be ready to give in to them again.
Chapter Thirteen and Chapter Fourteen