Only This And Nothing More - J2 - AU - NC17 - twin!verse
Title: Only This, And Nothing More
Author: jeyhawk
Fandom: Supernatural/CW RPS
Disclaimer: I don't own them, don't know them. This is a work of fiction
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/OMC, (Chris/Steve, Mike/Tom).
Rating: NC17
Genre: Romance, angst.
Warnings: AU
Wordcount: ~ 21 000
Summary: Jared's been clinging to Jesse because there is something about him that just feels right. Then one day he runs into Jesse's twin brother and maybe shy and soft-spoken Jensen is who Jared's been reaching for all along.
Notes: In true bigbang fashion the notes will appear at the end of the fic. Written for the Big, Big, Really Big, One-year Anniversary challenge over at 60_minute_fics.
Banner by mesnica
Jared doesn’t like to think about himself as a shallow guy, because, seriously, he isn’t. He cares about people and about important stuff like the environment, and he couldn’t actually care less if people buy their clothes from the GAP or from D&G. He isn’t vain, either, even if he thinks sometimes that he has reason to be, and normally he can’t fucking stand narcisstic assholes.
So there’s really no viable explanation for why he lets Jesse Ackles pull him around by his dick, except for the fact that Jesse is fucking gorgeous. It’s not like Jared even likes Jesse, because he’s a vain self-centered prick that doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself, Jared included.
The stupid thing is that Jared feels like everything about Jesse is right, just slightly skewered. Like in a perfect universe, Jesse would have another personality and they would just click and get married and have a house in the suburbs, or something. It doesn’t make sense at all, and it’s not like Jared is trying to change Jesse, because he’s pretty sure that wouldn’t work at all.
He kinda hates the power Jesse has over him. Jesse can just ignore him for a week, being seen everywhere with a busty blonde on his arm, and then just call and order Jared to come over like nothing happened, and Jared just swallows his anger and does what Jesse tells him to do.
Jared is his own fucking person and he never gave a fuck about what people thought about him, so why is he trying to change his entire life just to accommodate Jesse? It doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense, and Chad says Jared is getting sadly dick-whipped, which might be the only real piece of insight to ever spill from Chad’s lips.
Chad’s a great friend and all, but he’s kind of a douche and half the things he says don’t make sense, even to Jared, who’s known him for a really long time and who normally speaks Chad fluently. Also there’s that thing where Chad really fucking hates Jesse, and at first Jared thought that was about Jesse being the prettiest bitch around, but lately he’s come to the conclusion that it takes one douche to spot another and douches doesn’t play well together.
What’s even worse than Chad hating Jesse is Chris hating Jesse, because Chris is a mean judge of character and he’s never once been wrong.
“Jared, dude… You have to break up with Jesse,” he says one night when they are getting high on Chris's back porch, blowing smoke towards the glinting sky. “He’s bad fucking news.”
“Amen,” Steve says from the floor, where he’s lying spread eagled with his eyes closed.
Jared takes another hit and feels slightly nauseous. Steve's the nicest person Jared ever met, he likes everyone and if he doesn’t like Jesse, it doesn’t bade well.
“We’re not together,” he murmurs, sliding down further on the couch.
“Uh huh,” Chris says, taking the joint from Jared's limp fingers.
“We’re not,” Jared repeats, a hint of annoyance creeping around the edges of his high. Stupid fucking Chris for ruining his mood.
“You’re not…” Steve asks. “Or he’s not?”
Jared presses his lips together, closing his eyes. He loves Chris and Steve like they’re brothers, but sometimes he really fucking hates them.
“Good one,” Chris says, poking Steve's side with his bare foot.
Steve grins and snakes a hand around Chris’s ankle. He leaves it there and something inside Jared shifts, like a pang of almost jealousy. He wants that type of easy affection, too, and he fucking knows he’s never going to get it from Jesse. He’s more likely to kick him out of bed than cuddle, but, damnit, he can’t stop hoping.
“I just don’t get it,” Chris says with a sigh. “It’s not like you to get this hung up on a guy.”
“Love ‘em and leave ‘em,” Steve says, his words slightly slurred, like he’s had enough already. Chris still hands him the joint, so Jared figures he hasn’t.
Jared wants to protest because he’s not really a love ‘em and leave ’em kind of guy, only his track record says that he is. It’s just that Jared isn’t normally the one doing the leaving, but they don’t know that and he’s not going to tell them because, seriously, he hates to look the pussy.
“I used to be this hung up on you,” Jared says softly, staring up at the sky, thinking it really is fucking pretty with all the glinting stars that really might be satellites, but he doesn’t fucking care.
“Oh,” Chris says and Jared thinks that maybe he never really told Chris about that either.
Steve opens his eyes and turns his head, giving Jared a look that asks if this is going to be a problem. Jared might not be the most perceptive of guys, but he knows from Chris’s slight twitch that the grip of fingers on his ankle just shifted to become less loving and more possessive.
Jared smiles a little, shifting his eyes back to the night sky. Chris shifts next to him and Jared knows he’s trying to shake Steve's fingers off without even looking, he also knows that Steve is not going to let go. He watches the sky intently until they hash it out. When they settle and he looks back, Steve's fingers are still curled around Chris’s ankle.
He chuckles a little, giving Chris an amused look. “Dude, I know you’re completely dick-whipped for Steve, so why are you even trying?”
Steve laughs and Jared looks down on him. The question is gone from Steve's eyes and Steve's tilted smile says he’s sorry that he ever asked it. Jared never used to be such an ace at non-verbal communication, but hanging with Chris and Steve, he’d had to learn because the two of them say more with a look than they ever do with their mouths.
“I better head back to campus,” he says, blinking slowly.
“You can stay if you want,” Chris says, and it’s an honest invitation.
“And listen to you guys fucking all night? Thanks, man, but no.”
“You could always join us,” Steve says, and it’s an apology.
Jared shakes his head slowly. “Thanks for the offer. It would be real hot and all, but you know...”
“Jesse wouldn’t approve,” Chris fills in with disdain in his voice.
Jared shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything. He’s pretty sure Jesse couldn’t care less, but he’s never been the cheating type and being the odd one out never appealed to him.
He smiles at Steve because he knows that Steve gets it, even if Chris doesn’t. Steve just nods slightly, rolling over on his side and sliding his hand up Chris’s leg.
“Open invitation if you ever change your mind,” he murmurs, eyes on Chris.
“Yeah,” Jared says and gets up from the beat down couch he’d been sitting on for the last three hours. His head spins with the sudden movement and Chris steadies him with a hand to his wrist.
“Did you drive?” he asks.
Jared shakes his head. “Bike.”
“Good,” Chris responds. “Don’t end up in a ditch.”
Jared grins. “I won’t.”
~*~
Jared's halfway back to campus when his phone starts rocking to the beat of I’m Too Sexy. He puts his foot down on the curb, halting the movement of his bike, because even though he’s been riding in a pretty straight line, he doesn’t trust his co-ordination to be able to bike and talk at the same time.
“Hello,” he says after flipping the phone open.
“Hey,” Jesse responds, and just the sound of his voice sends shivers down Jared's spine. He blames the pot and shifts the phone to his other ear. “Wanna come over?” Jesse purrs, and Jared knows it’s not really a question. Jared's free to say no, but that means he won’t hear from Jesse for a week, or more.
“I’m on my way,” Jared responds, snapping the phone shut.
He feels like an idiot when he kicks off from the curb, but he can’t deny the thrum of his blood or the swelling of his cock. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t have beat off when he got home, the images from Steve's careless invitation running through his mind, so he might as well make it a spectator sport.
He parks his bike outside Jesse’s dorm and locks it up tightly. For the most part, he relies on his bike to get around and he doesn’t want it to go missing. The doors are wide open despite the late hour, and he can hear people talking from inside. He vaguely remembers something about a dorm party and from the looks of the people he passes on his way upstairs, it was one hell of a party.
Jesse’s door is slightly ajar and he pushes it open, stepping inside. Jesse is on his bed with a dark haired chick on his lap, one hand tangled in her long hair, the other resting on the small of her back. They’re kissing and Jared's pretty sure they haven’t even noticed him.
“Close the door,” Jesse says, proving him wrong.
Jared bites his lower lip and does as he’s told, watching as Jesse pulls the girl’s top over her head. She giggles stupidly, throwing her cascade of dark hair back over one shoulder. She turns her head, pinning him with a look, and he realizes that he knows her. She’s in his algebra class, Cassie or Callie or something.
A blush creeps up his cheeks and he doesn’t really know what to do with himself. A part of him is shouting for him to leave, the other part is really kind of interested in the way Jesse’s tanned hands slide up the girl’s back.
“You gonna watch, or join?” Cassie/Callie asks, licking her pretty lips.
Jared takes a step closer to the bed, not really sure of that himself. It’s been a long time since he had sex with a woman. Even though he still considers himself bisexual, he much prefers men. Cassie/Callie is hot, though; he’s spent a couple of lessons watching her tits pressing against her t-shirt to while off the boredom that comes with algebra.
Said tits are really kind of spectacular now that they are all t-shirt-less, full and perky with tight pink little nipples. Jesse notices him looking and moves his hands to cup them, weighing them against his palms. Jared licks his lips, moving even closer to the bed until he’s towering above them.
“Wow,” Cassie/Callie says, sliding her eyes up to his face. “You’re really fucking tall.”
Jared grins, a bit lopsided, and bends down to kiss her, because he has to start somewhere. Her lips are soft and plush under his, parting for his probing tongue and just letting him take what he wants. It’s different from kissing a guy, softer and more pliant, but it gets him hot enough.
“Cassie…” he says when they break apart.
She giggles prettily. “It’s Callie.”
Jared blushes slightly. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she murmurs, one of her hands going around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.
“Callie likes you,” Jesse says as he moves one hand to cup Jared's ass.
Jared stiffens slightly and pulls away from her mouth. Callie licks her lips, a blush staining her pale cheeks.
“You promised you wouldn’t tell,” she murmurs, looking everywhere but at Jared.
Jared straightens up, his eyes locking on Jesse's. Jesse is smirking at him, a challenge in his jade green eyes.
“Fuck you,” Jared says, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He stops halfway down the corridor, maybe expecting Jesse to come after him, but of course he doesn’t. His shoulders slump slightly and he continues to walk after a few moments.
~*~
Chad is fast asleep on his bed when Jared gets back to his dorm room and Jared throws himself on his bed, still fully clothed. Closing his eyes, he wonders what kind of freak life one must have to be able to turn down two threesomes in one night. Most guys spend their lives dreaming about having one; he just turned down two.
He doesn’t really regret turning down Callie and Jesse, except for where it will mean an indefinite dry spell until Jesse is talking to him again. Chris and Steve, though, is another thing. Once he would have jumped at the chance, back when he was still all hung up on Chris and Chris was being so fucking nice about it. Now he just doesn’t want to fuck up their friendship.
Sighing, he rolls over on his side, sliding a hand into his baggy jeans - the hard on he’s been sporting since Steve's offer proving to be stupidly persistent. The talk about drugs messing with your libido is so not true from where Jared is standing. It might make him slower on the draw, but once he’s hard, he stays hard for hours at end.
He makes his hand into a fist around his cock, jerking himself with hard, fast moves, eyes pressed closed and his mind as blank as he can make it. Random images keep passing before his eyes: Steve and Chris kissing, Callie’s breasts, Jesse's hands, Jesse's mouth, Steve on Chris’s lap, Callie riding Jesse with her head thrown back.
He makes a tiny sound, pumping his fist faster. He just wants a lover that cares for him, is that so damned stupid? He wants what Chris and Steve have, just maybe with a little more verbalization. Someone that looks at him like he’s all the good things in the world, someone that cares how his day has been and what he likes to eat for breakfast.
When he comes it’s with a choked off whimper and the release makes his boxers sticky, making him feel dirty in more ways than the obvious one.
“Dude, I totally heard you,” Chad slurs from the other bed and Jared rolls off the bed with a groan, shuffling towards the bathroom.
He takes shower, but it doesn’t make him feel better, and when he crawls back into bed he’s glad that sleep claims him right away. Some days just need to end.
~*~
He doesn’t feel much better when he gets up the following morning, and even though it’s a Saturday and the sun is shining from clear blue skies, he decides to spend the day studying. Chad takes off for the beach with his fraternity buddies and Jesse doesn’t call. Jared didn’t expect him to, but there’s always hope.
Steve calls, though, asking if he wants to come over, but Jared turns him down. That open invitation is sounding mightily tempting right now, but he knows it’ll just make him feel empty afterwards. Steve and Chris would easily include him in their little world for a few moments, but once morning rolled around he’d be on the outside looking in again, and in his current state of mind he’s not sure he would be able to handle it.
“You sound… off,” Steve says when Jared is about to end the call. “Is it about last night?”
“Yeah,” Jared says. “But not the part you think.”
Steve's silent for a moment. “You know I meant it, right? About it being an open invitation… You’re always welcome, Jay.”
“Yeah,” Jared smiles to himself. “Yeah, I know… It’s just… Not right now.”
“I understand,” Steve responds and Jared knows that he does, because Steve's always awesome like that. “So what happened after you left?”
He’s also scarily perceptive and Jared's not sure he likes that at all. “Jesse called,” he admits, and before he knows it he’s spilled the entire story.
“Jared,” Steve says when he stops talking. “Jesus, Jared...”
There’s the sound of rustling clothes and then it’s Chris on the line instead. “What the fuck did he do?” Chris growls and Jared can hear Steve talking in the background.
“He didn’t…” Jared starts, but apparently Steve is done with retelling the story.
“Seriously, Jared… What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chris asks. “You come over here and have sex with us right the fuck now, because I’d rather have you hung up on me again.”
Jared laughs. “Fuck you, Chris. That train left the station a long time ago. Now I know what kind of fucktard you really are…”
“Dickwad,” Chris says fondly. “I’m serious, though… You need to find someone else, because Jesse… He’s just putting you down, man.”
Jared closes his eyes, rubbing a hand over his brow. “Yeah… Whatever. Talk to you some other day, yeah?”
Chris hesitates and Jared can hear him putting his hand over the speaker. “Yeah, okay,” he says when he’s back.
“Bye,” Jared says and disconnects before Chris has the time to say anything else. It’s great to have friends, but right now. He’s not in the mood to be lectured.
A few hours later, Jared's really fucking tired of studying. He’s put the finishing touches on two essays that aren’t due for a week and studied for an upcoming quiz to the point where he could take it in his sleep. The thing about Jared is that he likes to actually keep ahead of his schedule, so he doesn’t really need to spend entire days studying before it’s time for finals.
He stretches and rolls his neck, making his joints pop and crackle. He really should stuff a board down the back of his shirt when studying to keep himself from slouching.
“You’re back sounds like it needs a break,” a voice says behind him, and he spins around to find Jesse standing with his back to the door.
“When did you get here?” Jared asks.
Jesse shrugs. “A few minutes ago.You were so engrossed in your reading that I didn’t want to disturb you.”
Jared licks his lips, looking down on his hands. He’s still really fucking pissed at Jesse, but it’s hard to maintain the anger when Jesse is looking so contrite.
“Sorry ‘bout last night,” Jesse says, tilting his head to the side. “I was really drunk, man, and I just wanted us to have some fun.”
Jared swallows; Jesse hadn’t looked drunk. “You could have warned me,” he says.
Jesse moves closer, keeping his green eyes locked on Jared's face. “I’m sorry, baby,” he murmurs, sliding down to his knees between Jared's spread legs. “Let me make it up to you.”
He pretty much won Jared over with “baby,” even if he knows it’s really fucking stupid to fall for the endearments, but the hands sliding up his thighs are pretty convincing, too. After that it takes about thirty seconds for Jesse to have Jared face down on the bed with his ass in the air, two teasing fingers stretching him open.
Jared usually has a strict rule about sex in his dorm room, but Chad’s at the beach and he won’t be back as long as the sun’s up. Besides, there’s no way he could have resisted Jesse after the first kiss, he’s pathetic like that.
“You look so hot like this,” Jesse murmurs, and a shiver goes down Jared's spine.
Before Jesse, he’d bottomed maybe a handful of times, it’s another one of those things Jesse changed about him. It’s not that he prefers to bottom now, it’s just that it’s the only way he gets to be with Jesse, because Jesse doesn’t bottom at all. Sometimes Jared thinks that maybe Jesse has issues about being gay, but that’s usually when Jesse twists his fingers to rub Jared's prostate and all thoughts just escape from his mind.
Jesse's fingers disappear and then there’s the burn of being entered. Jared's never really gotten used to it, despite the fact that he’s spent the last six months bottoming for Jesse. He doesn’t mind the prep or the actual fucking, but the part where Jesse just slides in, he hates that. It hurts and Jesse's never patient enough to wait until Jared adjusts.
“Oww,” he groans when Jesse just doesn’t wait at all this time, but the burn soon dissipates and he starts to rock back into Jesse's thrusts.
“Yeah, baby,” Jesse says, snaking a hand around Jared to fist his cock.
Jared makes a strangled sound, biting down on his tongue because Jesse doesn’t like it when he’s loud, and Jared's normally a very vocal person. He closes his eyes and focuses on the feeling of Jesse filling him, deluding himself that it means something. Every thrust is designed to make both of them come as quickly as possible, and it’s easy to get the feeling that Jesse doesn’t even like sex.
The only really great sex they had was when Jesse was fucked up on E and let Jared take all control. Jared's still sure it’s the best sex Jesse ever had, and he really kinda wants Jesse to make the same mistake again. It’s fucked up to be wishing for your boyfriend to take bad drugs, but it’s the only time Jared could think of Jesse as his boyfriend and feel that maybe it was true.
He can feel his orgasm building in his stomach and a few minutes later he comes with a loud groan, spilling over Jesse's hand and the twisted covers. Jesse comes a few thrusts later, pushing deep into Jared one last time. He’s eerily silent when he comes and it always freaks Jared out a little.
Jesse pulls out and disposes of the condom, probably on the floor, because that would be just like him.
I don’t even like you, Jared thinks, sliding down on his stomach, crinkling his nose at the wet spot under him.
Jesse lays down beside him, actually putting a hand over his shoulders and Jared buries his head in the pillow, enjoying the moment for as long as it will last.
“I’m going out of town for a week,” Jesse says.
“Okay,” Jared replies, turning his head to look at Jesse. He just can’t get over how freaking beautiful Jesse is, like he’s a painting or something. He reaches out to touch a hand to the freckles littering his face, but Jesse pulls away.
“Callie and her girlfriends invited me to head down south with them,” Jesse says, rolling out of bed and landing on his feet. “I’ll be back in a week.”
Jared swallows and turns his head the other way. He doesn’t say goodbye when Jesse walks out.
~*~
Jensen really likes LA. Not the glitzy, ditzy, make or break surface stuff, but the other part. The underground theatre groups, tiny back-street cafés, used bookstores that are only open on Sundays that seem to have been rebuilt between every visit, like the one he’s in now. It’s dusty and the bookshelves reach all the way to the roof, making it something of a labyrinth.
He’s half afraid that he’s going to turn the wrong corner and just not find his way back, but he supposes there are worse ways to die than starving to death while reading a century or two’s worth of used books. He’s been leafing through the shelves looking for something interesting for almost an hour now without seeing a single person.
The owner, or whatever the cardigan clad old man behind the makeshift counter is, had assured him there would be a copy of Poe’s The Raven in the poetry section, and Jensen really wants to find it. He has a collection of different editions of The Raven and whenever he’s in a used bookstore he has to look for it.
He doesn’t buy the well preserved ones that have never been loved. He wants the ones with scribbled notes in the margins, underlines and doodles. He’s got half a mind to do something with his collection some day, because it’s like an under-appreciated form of art.
When he’s about ready to bang his head against the shelves in frustration, he finally figures out that the books are not placed alphabetically by author, or by title, but by content. If he hadn’t been as literally inclined as he is, he would never have figured it out, but he finally manages to find The Raven pressed in between two thin volumes of foreign poetry that he guesses have something to do either birds, or ravens, or maybe nature.
He’s just pulled the volume out and is about to open it when he hears someone coming up behind him.
“Seriously… Did you steal those clothes off a homeless man?” a deep voice drawls behind him, and he spins around with a blush, the book dropping from his fingers in the process.
He looks up, up, up, up and locks eyes with the most gorgeous guy he’s ever seen. His blush deepens and he tears his eyes away, scanning the floor for his precious finding.
“God, I’m sorry,” the guy says, bending down and picking up the book that landed at his feet. “I thought you were someone else.”
“I get that a lot,” Jensen murmurs lamely, taking the proffered book from the stranger’s fingers. It figures that the tall, dark and gorgeous guy is a friend of Jesse’s; he always did like to surround himself with good-looking people.
The stranger reaches out suddenly and pulls Jensen’s cap off, and Jensen looks up with a start, to find him grinning. “You’re twins, right?” the stranger asks. “Because if you’re not… I’m never smoking pot ever again.”
Jensen smiles a little at that, reaching for his cap. He bets his hair is all flat and stupid, and not that he normally cares, but this guy knows Jesse. He must be wondering how Jesse can have such an unattractive copy of himself walking around.
He stupidly finds himself wishing that he’d put something else on this morning, maybe the only pair of jeans he has that actually fit and a simple t-shirt, instead of the baggy hoodie that makes him look like a dork that hasn’t figured out it’s 80 degrees outside.
The stranger keeps the cap out of Jensen’s reach with childish glee. “Do you have a name?” he asks. “Your name for your cap.”
“Jensen,” Jensen says and the stranger smiles.
“Jensen… Jesse and Jensen… Your parents weren’t really of the imaginative type, were they?”
His name shouldn’t sound so good coming from someone else, especially not someone that has managed to insult twice in about as many minutes.
“Do you have a name?” Jensen finds himself asking.
“Jared,” the stranger says, and finally lowers the hand holding the cap to let Jensen grab it and shove it back on his head.
He knows that his cheeks are flaming as he studies the worn book in his heads really hard, waiting for the stranger to leave. He’s not stupid; he knows that he’ll never be able to keep the interest of someone that knows Jesse. He and Jesse are like opposite sides of a coin. Jesse got all the cool and Jensen got the shy, with a side of dork.
“So Jesse never mentioned he has a twin,” Jared says, following Jensen when he starts walking aimlessly down a row of shelves.
“We don’t talk much,” Jensen says as way of explanation.
He’s acutely aware of Jared walking right behind him, so close that if Jensen stopped, Jared would bump into him. He really has to focus to keep on walking.
“Why not?” Jared asks, and Jensen wonders if he’s always this talkative, or if he should feel specially blessed.
“I don’t know,” Jensen murmurs. He’d rather not be talking about Jesse right now. He’d called Jesse the minute he got to LA and had gotten settled in his tiny apartment. Jesse had done his usual - it’s nice to hear from you bro, was the flight all right, we should hang some day, I’ll show you the sights- and Jensen hadn’t heard from him since.
It’s not like he wants to hang on Jesse's shirttails, but he doesn’t know anyone in LA and he’s done so much exploring in the last few weeks that he’s getting sick of it. Talking to his old friends on the phone just makes him homesick, and it would be nice to just go out and have a beer some night.
“Sorry,” Jared says. “Didn’t mean to pry.”
Jensen stops at a random shelf, pretending to the scanning the backs for something. Jared almost bumps into him, but stops himself at the very last instant.
“Are you looking for something? Can I help you?” Jared asks.
Jensen licks his lips nervously, glancing sideways at Jared, who’s leaning against the shelf with a smile on his lips. He really is gorgeous, tall and tanned, with a head full of brown hair, sparkling hazel eyes and the meanest set of dimples Jensen’s ever seen. Unwillingly, he lets his eyes slide lower, over Jared's broad chest hugged by a simple light blue t-shirt, down the calf-length blue jeans to his feet in a dorky pair of flip flops. He doesn’t look groomed enough to be hanging with Jesse's crew, but maybe Jesse was over-powered by the force of that smile.
“I’m just gonna buy this and go grab a cup of coffee somewhere,” Jensen hears himself saying. It sounds a whole lot like an invite, and his face starts burning again. God, he’s such an idiot.
“Cool,” Jared says. “Can I come? I mean, I know this amazing little Italian café not far from here… I promise I won’t insult you, or your heritage again.”
Jensen looks up, his stomach clenching nervously. He was never very good at this sort of thing. He can’t for the life of him figure out if Jared's flirting or just being nice.
“I… uh…” he blushes again.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Jared says with an easy grin.
“No… I… It would be nice,” Jensen manages to get out, blushing even hotter. Someone should just shoot him now and put him out of his misery.
“Great,” Jared says, rubbing his hands together and looking around. “Uh… which way’s out again?”
Jensen looks around, too. “I think it’s that way,” he says, pointing vaguely towards the direction they came from.
Jared takes the lead and Jensen tries really hard to not stare at his ass, failing spectacularly most of the time. It’s a nice ass and Jared has really nice legs, too. He doesn’t look strangely proportioned like most really tall guys do, he’s really kind of perfect and Jensen contemplates hiding between the shelves until he disappears.
They find their way to the counter and Jensen pays for the book he hasn’t even really looked at yet. It only cost him two dollars, though, so he doesn’t mind. It’s not like he’s gonna start looking through it and look like a dork in front of Jared, who’s leaning against the wall next to the door in a far too hot looking slouch.
Jared takes the lead when they get out on the street and he talks animatedly about all and nothing, waving his hands around and shooting occasional grins in Jensen's direction. Jensen doesn’t say much, he was never the talkative type, and he honestly has no idea what Jared would like to hear about.
They’re about to turn a street corner when a squeed Jared reaches their ears and they both turn around to find a tiny dark haired woman running down the street towards them.
“Sandy,” Jared exclaims with obvious delight, and then she’s in his arms being swung around like they’re a couple in a really cheesy romantic movie.
Jensen steps back to avoid being hit by her feet and wonders if maybe he should keep on walking. He’s pretty sure Jared only wanted to have coffee with him because he was bored and this Sandy person is obviously someone he likes.
Jared puts her down on her feet again, still with a delighted grin on his face.
“Sandy, this is Jensen,” he says gesturing towards Jensen. “Jensen… Sandy.”
Sandy grabs one of his hands and shakes it vigorously. “Seriously, Jared,” she says. “Where do you find all these hot boys, and could you maybe find one for me?”
Jensen blushes again because apparently it never gets old.
“Awww and he’s bashful, too. If you don’t want him, can I have him?”
Jensen thinks that this would have been a really good time to just sink through the ground and disappear. Sandy is tiny and gorgeous and she has a killer smile that rivals Jared. He doesn’t go for girls, but she’s just so cute.
“I think you’d better ask Jensen about that,” Jared says with a laugh.
“Can I have you?” Sandy asks, sounding earnest, but her eyes are sparkling. “You don’t want Jared any way. He talks all the time and he spends way too much time studying.”
Jensen glances to Jared for support.
“Leave him alone, Sandy,” Jared says, sliding an arm around Jensen’s shoulders. “He’s the shy type and as outrageous as it might sound… Maybe he doesn’t want either of us.”
“You spoil all my fun,” Sandy says, winking at Jensen. “I have to go now, but why don’t you bring Jensen to my show. He looks like he would appreciate some dancing.”
“I’ll ask him,” Jared says, his fingers tightening on Jensen’s shoulder.
Sandy gives them a cute wave over her shoulder as she takes off down the street.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” Jared says, letting his arm drop from Jensen’s shoulder. “She’s a bit intense.”
“It’s okay,” Jensen murmurs, missing the comforting weight of Jared's arm and the hard body pressed up against his side.
“I…” Jared grows silent. “If I’m too much, you just have to tell me.”
“No,” Jensen says immediately. “I mean… It’s fine. I just… I spent the last year with my nose buried in books and running errands for a ninety-year-old professor in a country where I didn’t know anyone. I’m not used to being around people and I wasn’t really all that witty to begin with.”
Jared laughs and steals Jensen’s cap again, pressing it down on his own unruly hair.
“Hey,” Jensen says, reaching for it, but Jared jumps out of the way.
Jensen’s hand goes to his hair, trying to make something of the flatness going on on top of his head.
“Here, let me,” Jared says, and suddenly there’s huge hands cradling his skull and fingers running through his hair. Jensen shivers and bites back a moan, so thankful that his jeans are baggy, it’s not even funny.
“Better,” Jared says, surveying his handiwork. He pushes Jensen’s wire rimmed glasses up his nose and grins. “Jesse doesn’t wear glasses,” he says, his eyes looking odd, almost wistful.
“He thinks they make him look like a geek,” Jensen says.
“Maybe a little,” Jared says, starting to walk again.
“Hey,” Jensen complains, because Jared did say he wasn’t going to insult him anymore.
“But a really, really hot geek,” Jared throws over his shoulder and, yeah, Jensen melts on the spot.
~*~
It’s almost ten when Jensen gets back to his apartment, and it’s a testament to how really fucking boring his life is that he can’t remember when he last had so much fun. The Italian café was awesome, and they had the best sandwiches ever, and the fact that Jared insisted on paying was even better.
After the café they’d taken a walk, eaten ice cream in the park, gone to an afternoon showing of Casablanca and then had dinner in a French restaurant that Jensen had found while exploring the neighborhood. Jared's charm was just so easy that it hadn’t taken long before Jensen had eased out of his shell, telling Jared about his time in England, the professor and the amount of dust he’d inhaled.
By the end of the night Jared had invited him to Sandy’s show and to some party afterwards, and Jensen had said yes, because it wasn’t like he had anything else planned.
He has a meeting with the Professor that he will be hopefully be an RA for next semester around noon, but other than that, his week is an empty slate.
Before the meeting, Jensen decides, he will go out and buy himself some decent clothes. While in England he certainly needed the shield his baggy, old man’s clothes presented, but in LA they just make him look really ridiculous, and he kinda wants Jared to think he’s hot. It’s not like he’s gonna go buy something really flashy or anything, just normal jeans and t-shirts. He doesn’t want his desperation to be too obvious.
The thing is, Jensen spent all his life living in Jesse's shadow, because Jesse was always the brash outgoing one. Jesse was the first one to hit puberty, the first one to get facial hair, the first one to have a girlfriend and he never ever got a pimple. Jensen had a nervous stutter, blushed crimson every time a girl talked to him, and he needed glasses in fifth grade. Well, Jesse probably needed glasses, too, but he was just devious enough to learn the letters on the optician’s board before hand.
Jensen figured out he was gay in junior high, but he was way too shy to ever dare approach a guy. His sexual experience to this day, and he’s 24 years-old damnit, is limited to a few fumbled handjobs and a really embarrassing blowjob experience. Jesse, on the other hand, has been shopping for both sexes since his early teens, and Jensen’s willing to bet his number of sexual encounters is in the high hundreds.
Maybe moving to LA and being close to Jesse again isn’t the best idea Jensen ever got, but he really wants his PhD, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan is an expert in Jensen’s preferred field of studies. The Professor seemed really pleased with the work Jensen had been doing in England, and hopefully he will want Jensen to assist him next semester. By that time Jesse ought to have gotten his bogus degree, despite all his false starts and he’d be gone from the school.
Jensen is having a hard time focusing on what he’s going to say to Jeffrey, though, because Jared keeps popping into his head. It’s silly, he’s only known the guy for half a day, but the fact that Jared programmed his number into Jensen’s phone makes Jensen want to call him.
He doesn’t have anything to say, though, so it would just be the stupidest conversation ever. He’s half tempted to call and ask if he should be wearing something special for the show and party tomorrow, but that would make him seem really gay and he hasn’t exactly figured out where Jared is on the gay scale.
He ends up calling Jared anyway, because he’s pathetic and lonely and he really wants to have a friend in LA.
Jared picks up after the first ring. “Jared,” he says and just the sound of his voice makes Jensen smile.
“Uh… Hi, it’s Jensen,” Jensen says stupidly.
“Hey,” Jared says and Jensen can hear him moving. “Can you wait a sec? I just got out of the shower and talking on the phone naked always makes me feel dumb.”
Jensen swallows, his cock going from limp to rock hard in 0.3 seconds. Jesus. It takes a few moments and then Jensen hears the phone being picked up again.
“Better,” Jared says. “There’s no telling when my roommate gets back, and he always makes such a fuss when I’m naked.”
’Naked’, Jensen thinks, his mouth going dry.
“So,” Jared says when the silence stretches out. “Did you want anything?”
Jensen blushes miserably, glad that Jared can’t see him. “I was just thinking about tomorrow… It’s not like formal or anything, is it?”
Jared laughs. “Nah… Just try not to dress like a hobo and you’ll be fine.”
Jensen smiles a little. “I was thinking I’d buy some new clothes. I didn’t exactly come here equipped for LA-land, but I’ve been putting it off. I have to get something for my lunch meeting with Professor Morgan anyway. I bet he doesn’t want an RA that looks like a… what did you say… hobo.”
“Shopping?” Jared sounds delighted. “Want company?”
“Don’t you have lectures?” Jensen asks, because he’s supposed to be the responsible adult here.
“Yeah, but only ‘til nine, then I have study time, but I already did my homework.”
“I… Yeah, you can tag along if you want, but I’m so not buying flip flops.”
“Don’t diss them ‘til you try ‘em,” Jared laughs. “So meet me outside the main building at nine?”
“Yeah,” Jensen says with a grin. “Yeah.”
“It’s a date,” Jared says. “Bye.”
“Bye,” Jensen repeats, hitting the button to end the call.
He sits with the phone in his hand for a few moments before getting up and heading for the shower. He needs some private time, oh yes, he does.
~*~
Jared's already outside when Jensen arrives, talking to a blond guy with something of a squint. He waves when he notices Jensen and the blond guy who follows Jared's line of vision makes the googly eyes.
“Hey, Jen,” Jared says when Jensen walks up to them. “This is Chad.”
“Jesus,” Chad says, licking his lips. “You really are Jesse's twin.”
“Uh, yeah,” Jensen says, trying to not grin too stupidly over Jared calling him Jen.
Chad gives Jared a sideways look Jensen can’t really read, but Jared gives him a shove so Jensen figures it was an insult. He fights the urge to pull his ball cap further down over his face. He learned the hard way that it’s never a good idea to be mistaken for Jesse.
“Ready to go?” Jared asks, which is really pretty stupid since Jensen was ready to go when he left his apartment.
“Yeah,” Jensen says anyway, wondering if Chad’s gonna come too.
“See you later,” Chad says and turns back towards the entrance, so Jensen figures that’s a no.
“Chad didn’t believe me when I told him you were Jesse's twin,” Jared says with an easy smile. “And he couldn’t wait for tonight to find out if it was true either.”
“He’s coming, too?” Jensen asks, feeling a little stupid. He knew it wasn’t a date or something, but he still finds himself reluctant to share Jared.
“Yeah,” Jared says. “And Sandy, of course, and her girlfriends Sophia and Alison, and then there’s Chad, and uh… Steve and Chris, of course, it’s their house. Well, it’s Chris’s house, but Steve kinda lives there these days… I think. You know, I never asked him if he still has his ratty old apartment, he’s always at Chris's so I figured… I don’t know. I have a hard time picturing Chris asking him to move in, though, he’s not that type of guy.”
Jensen blinks, letting the words flush over him as Jared talks about his friends and their lives, coming back to the elusive Chris and Steve from time to time. Jensen chuckles when Jared finally gets himself so worked up over the issue of whether or not Chris and Steve live together that he fishes out his phone and calls Steve. He might have minded if Jared hadn’t put one of his big hands on Jensen’s back to keep him moving in the right direction while he talks.
Jared speaks to Steve for a few minutes before a huge laugh erupts from his throat and he has to stop to catch his breath. Jensen watches him with half a smile while Jared disconnects the call and slips his phone back into his pocket.
“So?” he inquires, because now that he got half the story he wants the rest.
“Steve moved in six months ago and sold his apartment. Chris still hasn’t figured it out.”
Jensen laughs. “Seriously?”
“Communication ain’t their strongest suit,” Jared admits with a grin.
Jensen smiles. He’s looking forward to meeting Jared's friends, they seem to be really cool and at least Steve and Chris seem to be gay, so hopefully no one will mind that he is.
Jared grabs him by the arms and drags him into a store. “I love this place,” he explains and Jensen looks around.
“Jayjay,” the guy behind the counter exclaims happily. “I didn’t think I’d see you until tonight…” He walks out from behind the counter and looks Jensen up and down. “And what are you bringing me?”
Jensen can’t resist the urge to hide behind Jared's bulk, because the look he’s getting is scary. Jared chuckles, snaking an arm out behind him to hug Jensen to his back and, yeah, Jensen’s in heaven.
“Mike, this is Jensen,” Jared says easily. “You have to handle him with care.”
“Yeah, but,” Mike circles around Jared like a predator aiming for his pray, “we got to do something about this boy.” He reaches out and pinches the leg of Jensen’s jeans. “Can I?”
“What?” Jensen asks.
“Make you over,” Mike says and his voice is full of glee.
“It’s okay,” Jared says. “He won’t make you wear flip flops.”
Jensen chuckles and pulls out of Jared's protective half embrace. “Okay.”
Mike looks pretty good up close, if a little crazy and he’s wearing a t-shirt that proudly exclaims I ♥ my wiener.
“Tom,” Mike bellows, clapping his hands excitedly. “Crank up the music, we’re having a chick flick makeover moment.”
The already obnoxiously loud hip hop beat gets louder and a tall dark haired guy rounds a corner. Jensen supposes that it’s only in LA you can find people that look like superman working in a clothing store. A tiny little dachshund is twining excitedly around his legs and as Mike gets down on his knees and baby talks it, Jensen realizes that Mike really does love his wiener.
Soon Jensen finds himself pushed into a changing room with heaps of clothes being thrown at him from every direction. Jared, being all obnoxious, takes a seat in a corner and watches the whole thing with obvious amusement. Jensen flushes beet red as he strips down to his boxers and he can actually feel Jared checking him out.
He can’t stop wondering if Jared ever saw Jesse naked and if he’s comparing. Jesse is much more tanned than Jensen, or so he assumes, and he wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of threadbare boxers like the ones Jensen is wearing. He hadn’t counted on Jared being in the dressing room when he changed clothes.
He tries on the clothes thrown at him dubiously, but it looks like Mike is not only a mean judge of size, but of character, as well. During his walk through the store, Jensen was almost scared by the array of weird clothes, but the ones landing at his feet are pretty sombre and a lot more him.
“I like,” Jared exclaims as Jensen furtively checks out his ass in a pair of dirt blue jeans he just threw on.
Jensen flushes again and glances at Jared, who’s watching him from underneath a pile of clothes that have been deemed keepers. He shimmies out of the jeans and throws them on Jared's pile, making Jared grin brighter than the sun. Jensen is mesmerised for a few moments before he realize he’s staring and tears his eyes away.
He quickly tries on another outfit as Mike pops in wearing Jensen’s ball cap on backwards.
“Nah,” he says dismissively, gesturing towards the plain jeans Jensen put on. “The jeans are so not you, but the t-shirt…” He hmmms meaningfully and waggles his eyebrows. “If I wasn’t a one man kind of guy, I would so have a hard on for you right now.”
Jensen blushes crimson, especially since Tom walks in to the already small space, as well. Tom pointedly looks over Mike's shoulder, down to the front of his jeans.
“Liar,” he says fondly and winks at Jensen. “But it’s what you do with it that counts.”
Jensen wonders if Jared would mind him burying into the pile of clothes on his lap. Jared's laughing, though, and throws a clothes hanger at them.
“Be nice,” he chides. “Can’t you see mah boy’s blushing?”
“But that’s what makes it fun,” Mike complains. “Do you know how rare it is to run into an innocent?”
Jensen feels all shivery inside and he doesn’t really mind that they’re teasing him. It’s nice teasing that doesn’t make him feel like a ginormous dork. He glances at the clock and realizes that if they don’t hurry up, he’ll actually be late for his lunch meeting.
“I have this… interview in a couple of hours,” he says. “It’s for an RA position at the university, got any ideas for what to wear?”
“Oooh,” Mike says, sounding gleeful again. “I’ve got just the thing for you.”
Jensen gives Tom a nervous look, but Tom just grins and follows Mike out of the dressing room. He glances at Jared, who’s folding up the clothes thrown on him, making a neat pile on his lap.
“You have the coolest friends,” he says and he knows he’s sounding a bit wistful.
Jared grins. “Yeah, they’re kinda great and also very… forthcoming. In a couple of weeks you’ll think you’ve known them your entire life.”
Jensen can’t keep his smile off his face. It was nice to imagine being a part of Jared's wonderful group of friends, but he can’t really figure out how Jesse fits into it. It seems that Jared and Jesse are more than classmates, something like friends, but Mike and Tom don’t seem to know Jesse, and neither did Sandy. He doesn’t want to come right out and ask, though. It would feel weird.
Mike returns with an ensemble for Jensen to try on - grey slacks and a black button down shirt. He eyes it dubiously, but he puts it on anyway and Jared whistles behind him.
“Well, hello mister Academic career is coming my way,” he says with obvious appreciation.
Jensen looks at him over his shoulder and Jared grins. “Lets just hope the professor appreciates a nice ass as much as I do,” Jared adds and Jensen’s blushing again, which is getting really fucking old.
Mike pops his head in and looks Jensen up and down. “Yeah,” he says. “Definitively a keeper. I fucking rock!”
Jensen laughs and studies himself in the mirror. It’s a good look, dressy without being formal, casual without being too casual. The worn sneakers peeking out beneath the pants, though, look out of place and he could really use a belt. He tells Mike as much and he disappears, yelling for Tom again.
“Can you really afford all this?” Jared asks and Jensen turns to face Jared who’s looking through the pile on his lap.
“Yeah,” Jensen says with a shrug. “I get the same allowance Jesse does, but I don’t spend mine on designer clothes, dates and booze. Besides, I’ve been working along side my studies most of the time.”
Jared grins. “So you’re, like, rich? Wanna be my sugar daddy?”
Jensen laughs. “I wouldn’t say rich… but, you know… well off.”
Truth is, Jensen never really craved a flashy lifestyle and he likes to have money in his account for a bad month. Over the years, though, the money has grown to considerably more than he ever thought he’d have. He even tried to pay his parents back, but they refused to take the money, saying that if he’d managed to save all that money, then he should spend it any way he wanted. If they paid for Jesse's education, they were damned well going to pay for Jensen’s, as well, whether he wanted it or not.
Tom appears in the door to the dressing room and hands over a pair of dressy shoes. He’s looking flushed and out of breath, but he’s grinning. Jensen toes his sneakers off and tries the dress shoes instead. They’re exactly his size and he wonders what kind of a magic measure eye Mike has.
“Looks good,” Tom says. “Do they fit alright?”
“Yeah. They’re great.” He glances at Jared who nods his approval easily. “I’ll take them.”
“Good,” Tom says with grin. “I would hate to have to run back down the street to find something else.”
Jensen laughs. “Thanks man. You’ve been great. Both of you,” he adds when Mike appears in the door, as well.
“I assume you’ll be leaving in that outfit,” Mike says, handing him a black leather belt.
“Yeah, if it’s okay,” Jensen says, threading the belt through the loops and buckling it.
“Totally. Anything more you wanna look at, or can we wrap this makeover scene?”
“I’m good,” Jensen says with a smile.
Mike snags the price tags off Jensen’s clothes and Jared hands his pile over to Tom. Jared gets up from the chair and stretches his hands, almost touching the roof, and his shirt rides up to show a sliver of his tanned, ripped stomach.
Tall, Jensen thinks dumbly. Hot.
“Do you’ve time to grab a bite before the interview?” Jared asks.
Jensen glances at his watch again. “Yeah, as long as it’s nearby.”
“There’s a nice place just around the corner.”
Jared follows him as he walks out of the dressing room, grabbing a package of boxer briefs from a nearby stand and thrusts it at Jensen. Jensen looks at them and quirks an eyebrow.
“So not my size,” he says and puts them back, reaching for another package.
Jared blinks and smiles lazily. “I don’t have Mike's amazing size judging powers.”
Jensen grins, taking another package from the stand, because he likes the thought of wearing Jared approved underwear, and to be honest his boxer collection is getting kind of pathetic. Jared is watching him from under half lidded eyes and Jensen fidgets a little under the intense stare.
Jared licks his lips, and for a heart stopping moment he thinks Jared's going to kiss him. Then Doris, the dachshund, comes running, barking happily at them and the moment’s broken. Jared starts before kneeling down to pet her, ruffling her floppy ears and scratching her tiny tummy when she offers it.
Jensen turns towards the front of the store and walks up to the counter where Mike and Tom are both waiting with his bags. He hands over the boxers, as well, and tries not to wince at the total.
“The shoes are included,” Mike says and Jensen smiles.
“Thanks,” he says. “I had a good time.”
“We too,” Tom says. “Are you coming tonight?”
“Yeah,” Jensen glances at Jared, who’s waiting by the door with a casual smile on his lips. “Yeah.”
Part Two
Author: jeyhawk
Fandom: Supernatural/CW RPS
Disclaimer: I don't own them, don't know them. This is a work of fiction
Pairing: Jared/Jensen, Jared/OMC, (Chris/Steve, Mike/Tom).
Rating: NC17
Genre: Romance, angst.
Warnings: AU
Wordcount: ~ 21 000
Summary: Jared's been clinging to Jesse because there is something about him that just feels right. Then one day he runs into Jesse's twin brother and maybe shy and soft-spoken Jensen is who Jared's been reaching for all along.
Notes: In true bigbang fashion the notes will appear at the end of the fic. Written for the Big, Big, Really Big, One-year Anniversary challenge over at 60_minute_fics.
Banner by mesnica
Jared doesn’t like to think about himself as a shallow guy, because, seriously, he isn’t. He cares about people and about important stuff like the environment, and he couldn’t actually care less if people buy their clothes from the GAP or from D&G. He isn’t vain, either, even if he thinks sometimes that he has reason to be, and normally he can’t fucking stand narcisstic assholes.
So there’s really no viable explanation for why he lets Jesse Ackles pull him around by his dick, except for the fact that Jesse is fucking gorgeous. It’s not like Jared even likes Jesse, because he’s a vain self-centered prick that doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself, Jared included.
The stupid thing is that Jared feels like everything about Jesse is right, just slightly skewered. Like in a perfect universe, Jesse would have another personality and they would just click and get married and have a house in the suburbs, or something. It doesn’t make sense at all, and it’s not like Jared is trying to change Jesse, because he’s pretty sure that wouldn’t work at all.
He kinda hates the power Jesse has over him. Jesse can just ignore him for a week, being seen everywhere with a busty blonde on his arm, and then just call and order Jared to come over like nothing happened, and Jared just swallows his anger and does what Jesse tells him to do.
Jared is his own fucking person and he never gave a fuck about what people thought about him, so why is he trying to change his entire life just to accommodate Jesse? It doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense, and Chad says Jared is getting sadly dick-whipped, which might be the only real piece of insight to ever spill from Chad’s lips.
Chad’s a great friend and all, but he’s kind of a douche and half the things he says don’t make sense, even to Jared, who’s known him for a really long time and who normally speaks Chad fluently. Also there’s that thing where Chad really fucking hates Jesse, and at first Jared thought that was about Jesse being the prettiest bitch around, but lately he’s come to the conclusion that it takes one douche to spot another and douches doesn’t play well together.
What’s even worse than Chad hating Jesse is Chris hating Jesse, because Chris is a mean judge of character and he’s never once been wrong.
“Jared, dude… You have to break up with Jesse,” he says one night when they are getting high on Chris's back porch, blowing smoke towards the glinting sky. “He’s bad fucking news.”
“Amen,” Steve says from the floor, where he’s lying spread eagled with his eyes closed.
Jared takes another hit and feels slightly nauseous. Steve's the nicest person Jared ever met, he likes everyone and if he doesn’t like Jesse, it doesn’t bade well.
“We’re not together,” he murmurs, sliding down further on the couch.
“Uh huh,” Chris says, taking the joint from Jared's limp fingers.
“We’re not,” Jared repeats, a hint of annoyance creeping around the edges of his high. Stupid fucking Chris for ruining his mood.
“You’re not…” Steve asks. “Or he’s not?”
Jared presses his lips together, closing his eyes. He loves Chris and Steve like they’re brothers, but sometimes he really fucking hates them.
“Good one,” Chris says, poking Steve's side with his bare foot.
Steve grins and snakes a hand around Chris’s ankle. He leaves it there and something inside Jared shifts, like a pang of almost jealousy. He wants that type of easy affection, too, and he fucking knows he’s never going to get it from Jesse. He’s more likely to kick him out of bed than cuddle, but, damnit, he can’t stop hoping.
“I just don’t get it,” Chris says with a sigh. “It’s not like you to get this hung up on a guy.”
“Love ‘em and leave ‘em,” Steve says, his words slightly slurred, like he’s had enough already. Chris still hands him the joint, so Jared figures he hasn’t.
Jared wants to protest because he’s not really a love ‘em and leave ’em kind of guy, only his track record says that he is. It’s just that Jared isn’t normally the one doing the leaving, but they don’t know that and he’s not going to tell them because, seriously, he hates to look the pussy.
“I used to be this hung up on you,” Jared says softly, staring up at the sky, thinking it really is fucking pretty with all the glinting stars that really might be satellites, but he doesn’t fucking care.
“Oh,” Chris says and Jared thinks that maybe he never really told Chris about that either.
Steve opens his eyes and turns his head, giving Jared a look that asks if this is going to be a problem. Jared might not be the most perceptive of guys, but he knows from Chris’s slight twitch that the grip of fingers on his ankle just shifted to become less loving and more possessive.
Jared smiles a little, shifting his eyes back to the night sky. Chris shifts next to him and Jared knows he’s trying to shake Steve's fingers off without even looking, he also knows that Steve is not going to let go. He watches the sky intently until they hash it out. When they settle and he looks back, Steve's fingers are still curled around Chris’s ankle.
He chuckles a little, giving Chris an amused look. “Dude, I know you’re completely dick-whipped for Steve, so why are you even trying?”
Steve laughs and Jared looks down on him. The question is gone from Steve's eyes and Steve's tilted smile says he’s sorry that he ever asked it. Jared never used to be such an ace at non-verbal communication, but hanging with Chris and Steve, he’d had to learn because the two of them say more with a look than they ever do with their mouths.
“I better head back to campus,” he says, blinking slowly.
“You can stay if you want,” Chris says, and it’s an honest invitation.
“And listen to you guys fucking all night? Thanks, man, but no.”
“You could always join us,” Steve says, and it’s an apology.
Jared shakes his head slowly. “Thanks for the offer. It would be real hot and all, but you know...”
“Jesse wouldn’t approve,” Chris fills in with disdain in his voice.
Jared shakes his head, but doesn’t say anything. He’s pretty sure Jesse couldn’t care less, but he’s never been the cheating type and being the odd one out never appealed to him.
He smiles at Steve because he knows that Steve gets it, even if Chris doesn’t. Steve just nods slightly, rolling over on his side and sliding his hand up Chris’s leg.
“Open invitation if you ever change your mind,” he murmurs, eyes on Chris.
“Yeah,” Jared says and gets up from the beat down couch he’d been sitting on for the last three hours. His head spins with the sudden movement and Chris steadies him with a hand to his wrist.
“Did you drive?” he asks.
Jared shakes his head. “Bike.”
“Good,” Chris responds. “Don’t end up in a ditch.”
Jared grins. “I won’t.”
~*~
Jared's halfway back to campus when his phone starts rocking to the beat of I’m Too Sexy. He puts his foot down on the curb, halting the movement of his bike, because even though he’s been riding in a pretty straight line, he doesn’t trust his co-ordination to be able to bike and talk at the same time.
“Hello,” he says after flipping the phone open.
“Hey,” Jesse responds, and just the sound of his voice sends shivers down Jared's spine. He blames the pot and shifts the phone to his other ear. “Wanna come over?” Jesse purrs, and Jared knows it’s not really a question. Jared's free to say no, but that means he won’t hear from Jesse for a week, or more.
“I’m on my way,” Jared responds, snapping the phone shut.
He feels like an idiot when he kicks off from the curb, but he can’t deny the thrum of his blood or the swelling of his cock. It wasn’t like he wouldn’t have beat off when he got home, the images from Steve's careless invitation running through his mind, so he might as well make it a spectator sport.
He parks his bike outside Jesse’s dorm and locks it up tightly. For the most part, he relies on his bike to get around and he doesn’t want it to go missing. The doors are wide open despite the late hour, and he can hear people talking from inside. He vaguely remembers something about a dorm party and from the looks of the people he passes on his way upstairs, it was one hell of a party.
Jesse’s door is slightly ajar and he pushes it open, stepping inside. Jesse is on his bed with a dark haired chick on his lap, one hand tangled in her long hair, the other resting on the small of her back. They’re kissing and Jared's pretty sure they haven’t even noticed him.
“Close the door,” Jesse says, proving him wrong.
Jared bites his lower lip and does as he’s told, watching as Jesse pulls the girl’s top over her head. She giggles stupidly, throwing her cascade of dark hair back over one shoulder. She turns her head, pinning him with a look, and he realizes that he knows her. She’s in his algebra class, Cassie or Callie or something.
A blush creeps up his cheeks and he doesn’t really know what to do with himself. A part of him is shouting for him to leave, the other part is really kind of interested in the way Jesse’s tanned hands slide up the girl’s back.
“You gonna watch, or join?” Cassie/Callie asks, licking her pretty lips.
Jared takes a step closer to the bed, not really sure of that himself. It’s been a long time since he had sex with a woman. Even though he still considers himself bisexual, he much prefers men. Cassie/Callie is hot, though; he’s spent a couple of lessons watching her tits pressing against her t-shirt to while off the boredom that comes with algebra.
Said tits are really kind of spectacular now that they are all t-shirt-less, full and perky with tight pink little nipples. Jesse notices him looking and moves his hands to cup them, weighing them against his palms. Jared licks his lips, moving even closer to the bed until he’s towering above them.
“Wow,” Cassie/Callie says, sliding her eyes up to his face. “You’re really fucking tall.”
Jared grins, a bit lopsided, and bends down to kiss her, because he has to start somewhere. Her lips are soft and plush under his, parting for his probing tongue and just letting him take what he wants. It’s different from kissing a guy, softer and more pliant, but it gets him hot enough.
“Cassie…” he says when they break apart.
She giggles prettily. “It’s Callie.”
Jared blushes slightly. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she murmurs, one of her hands going around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.
“Callie likes you,” Jesse says as he moves one hand to cup Jared's ass.
Jared stiffens slightly and pulls away from her mouth. Callie licks her lips, a blush staining her pale cheeks.
“You promised you wouldn’t tell,” she murmurs, looking everywhere but at Jared.
Jared straightens up, his eyes locking on Jesse's. Jesse is smirking at him, a challenge in his jade green eyes.
“Fuck you,” Jared says, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room, slamming the door behind him. He stops halfway down the corridor, maybe expecting Jesse to come after him, but of course he doesn’t. His shoulders slump slightly and he continues to walk after a few moments.
~*~
Chad is fast asleep on his bed when Jared gets back to his dorm room and Jared throws himself on his bed, still fully clothed. Closing his eyes, he wonders what kind of freak life one must have to be able to turn down two threesomes in one night. Most guys spend their lives dreaming about having one; he just turned down two.
He doesn’t really regret turning down Callie and Jesse, except for where it will mean an indefinite dry spell until Jesse is talking to him again. Chris and Steve, though, is another thing. Once he would have jumped at the chance, back when he was still all hung up on Chris and Chris was being so fucking nice about it. Now he just doesn’t want to fuck up their friendship.
Sighing, he rolls over on his side, sliding a hand into his baggy jeans - the hard on he’s been sporting since Steve's offer proving to be stupidly persistent. The talk about drugs messing with your libido is so not true from where Jared is standing. It might make him slower on the draw, but once he’s hard, he stays hard for hours at end.
He makes his hand into a fist around his cock, jerking himself with hard, fast moves, eyes pressed closed and his mind as blank as he can make it. Random images keep passing before his eyes: Steve and Chris kissing, Callie’s breasts, Jesse's hands, Jesse's mouth, Steve on Chris’s lap, Callie riding Jesse with her head thrown back.
He makes a tiny sound, pumping his fist faster. He just wants a lover that cares for him, is that so damned stupid? He wants what Chris and Steve have, just maybe with a little more verbalization. Someone that looks at him like he’s all the good things in the world, someone that cares how his day has been and what he likes to eat for breakfast.
When he comes it’s with a choked off whimper and the release makes his boxers sticky, making him feel dirty in more ways than the obvious one.
“Dude, I totally heard you,” Chad slurs from the other bed and Jared rolls off the bed with a groan, shuffling towards the bathroom.
He takes shower, but it doesn’t make him feel better, and when he crawls back into bed he’s glad that sleep claims him right away. Some days just need to end.
~*~
He doesn’t feel much better when he gets up the following morning, and even though it’s a Saturday and the sun is shining from clear blue skies, he decides to spend the day studying. Chad takes off for the beach with his fraternity buddies and Jesse doesn’t call. Jared didn’t expect him to, but there’s always hope.
Steve calls, though, asking if he wants to come over, but Jared turns him down. That open invitation is sounding mightily tempting right now, but he knows it’ll just make him feel empty afterwards. Steve and Chris would easily include him in their little world for a few moments, but once morning rolled around he’d be on the outside looking in again, and in his current state of mind he’s not sure he would be able to handle it.
“You sound… off,” Steve says when Jared is about to end the call. “Is it about last night?”
“Yeah,” Jared says. “But not the part you think.”
Steve's silent for a moment. “You know I meant it, right? About it being an open invitation… You’re always welcome, Jay.”
“Yeah,” Jared smiles to himself. “Yeah, I know… It’s just… Not right now.”
“I understand,” Steve responds and Jared knows that he does, because Steve's always awesome like that. “So what happened after you left?”
He’s also scarily perceptive and Jared's not sure he likes that at all. “Jesse called,” he admits, and before he knows it he’s spilled the entire story.
“Jared,” Steve says when he stops talking. “Jesus, Jared...”
There’s the sound of rustling clothes and then it’s Chris on the line instead. “What the fuck did he do?” Chris growls and Jared can hear Steve talking in the background.
“He didn’t…” Jared starts, but apparently Steve is done with retelling the story.
“Seriously, Jared… What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chris asks. “You come over here and have sex with us right the fuck now, because I’d rather have you hung up on me again.”
Jared laughs. “Fuck you, Chris. That train left the station a long time ago. Now I know what kind of fucktard you really are…”
“Dickwad,” Chris says fondly. “I’m serious, though… You need to find someone else, because Jesse… He’s just putting you down, man.”
Jared closes his eyes, rubbing a hand over his brow. “Yeah… Whatever. Talk to you some other day, yeah?”
Chris hesitates and Jared can hear him putting his hand over the speaker. “Yeah, okay,” he says when he’s back.
“Bye,” Jared says and disconnects before Chris has the time to say anything else. It’s great to have friends, but right now. He’s not in the mood to be lectured.
A few hours later, Jared's really fucking tired of studying. He’s put the finishing touches on two essays that aren’t due for a week and studied for an upcoming quiz to the point where he could take it in his sleep. The thing about Jared is that he likes to actually keep ahead of his schedule, so he doesn’t really need to spend entire days studying before it’s time for finals.
He stretches and rolls his neck, making his joints pop and crackle. He really should stuff a board down the back of his shirt when studying to keep himself from slouching.
“You’re back sounds like it needs a break,” a voice says behind him, and he spins around to find Jesse standing with his back to the door.
“When did you get here?” Jared asks.
Jesse shrugs. “A few minutes ago.You were so engrossed in your reading that I didn’t want to disturb you.”
Jared licks his lips, looking down on his hands. He’s still really fucking pissed at Jesse, but it’s hard to maintain the anger when Jesse is looking so contrite.
“Sorry ‘bout last night,” Jesse says, tilting his head to the side. “I was really drunk, man, and I just wanted us to have some fun.”
Jared swallows; Jesse hadn’t looked drunk. “You could have warned me,” he says.
Jesse moves closer, keeping his green eyes locked on Jared's face. “I’m sorry, baby,” he murmurs, sliding down to his knees between Jared's spread legs. “Let me make it up to you.”
He pretty much won Jared over with “baby,” even if he knows it’s really fucking stupid to fall for the endearments, but the hands sliding up his thighs are pretty convincing, too. After that it takes about thirty seconds for Jesse to have Jared face down on the bed with his ass in the air, two teasing fingers stretching him open.
Jared usually has a strict rule about sex in his dorm room, but Chad’s at the beach and he won’t be back as long as the sun’s up. Besides, there’s no way he could have resisted Jesse after the first kiss, he’s pathetic like that.
“You look so hot like this,” Jesse murmurs, and a shiver goes down Jared's spine.
Before Jesse, he’d bottomed maybe a handful of times, it’s another one of those things Jesse changed about him. It’s not that he prefers to bottom now, it’s just that it’s the only way he gets to be with Jesse, because Jesse doesn’t bottom at all. Sometimes Jared thinks that maybe Jesse has issues about being gay, but that’s usually when Jesse twists his fingers to rub Jared's prostate and all thoughts just escape from his mind.
Jesse's fingers disappear and then there’s the burn of being entered. Jared's never really gotten used to it, despite the fact that he’s spent the last six months bottoming for Jesse. He doesn’t mind the prep or the actual fucking, but the part where Jesse just slides in, he hates that. It hurts and Jesse's never patient enough to wait until Jared adjusts.
“Oww,” he groans when Jesse just doesn’t wait at all this time, but the burn soon dissipates and he starts to rock back into Jesse's thrusts.
“Yeah, baby,” Jesse says, snaking a hand around Jared to fist his cock.
Jared makes a strangled sound, biting down on his tongue because Jesse doesn’t like it when he’s loud, and Jared's normally a very vocal person. He closes his eyes and focuses on the feeling of Jesse filling him, deluding himself that it means something. Every thrust is designed to make both of them come as quickly as possible, and it’s easy to get the feeling that Jesse doesn’t even like sex.
The only really great sex they had was when Jesse was fucked up on E and let Jared take all control. Jared's still sure it’s the best sex Jesse ever had, and he really kinda wants Jesse to make the same mistake again. It’s fucked up to be wishing for your boyfriend to take bad drugs, but it’s the only time Jared could think of Jesse as his boyfriend and feel that maybe it was true.
He can feel his orgasm building in his stomach and a few minutes later he comes with a loud groan, spilling over Jesse's hand and the twisted covers. Jesse comes a few thrusts later, pushing deep into Jared one last time. He’s eerily silent when he comes and it always freaks Jared out a little.
Jesse pulls out and disposes of the condom, probably on the floor, because that would be just like him.
I don’t even like you, Jared thinks, sliding down on his stomach, crinkling his nose at the wet spot under him.
Jesse lays down beside him, actually putting a hand over his shoulders and Jared buries his head in the pillow, enjoying the moment for as long as it will last.
“I’m going out of town for a week,” Jesse says.
“Okay,” Jared replies, turning his head to look at Jesse. He just can’t get over how freaking beautiful Jesse is, like he’s a painting or something. He reaches out to touch a hand to the freckles littering his face, but Jesse pulls away.
“Callie and her girlfriends invited me to head down south with them,” Jesse says, rolling out of bed and landing on his feet. “I’ll be back in a week.”
Jared swallows and turns his head the other way. He doesn’t say goodbye when Jesse walks out.
~*~
Jensen really likes LA. Not the glitzy, ditzy, make or break surface stuff, but the other part. The underground theatre groups, tiny back-street cafés, used bookstores that are only open on Sundays that seem to have been rebuilt between every visit, like the one he’s in now. It’s dusty and the bookshelves reach all the way to the roof, making it something of a labyrinth.
He’s half afraid that he’s going to turn the wrong corner and just not find his way back, but he supposes there are worse ways to die than starving to death while reading a century or two’s worth of used books. He’s been leafing through the shelves looking for something interesting for almost an hour now without seeing a single person.
The owner, or whatever the cardigan clad old man behind the makeshift counter is, had assured him there would be a copy of Poe’s The Raven in the poetry section, and Jensen really wants to find it. He has a collection of different editions of The Raven and whenever he’s in a used bookstore he has to look for it.
He doesn’t buy the well preserved ones that have never been loved. He wants the ones with scribbled notes in the margins, underlines and doodles. He’s got half a mind to do something with his collection some day, because it’s like an under-appreciated form of art.
When he’s about ready to bang his head against the shelves in frustration, he finally figures out that the books are not placed alphabetically by author, or by title, but by content. If he hadn’t been as literally inclined as he is, he would never have figured it out, but he finally manages to find The Raven pressed in between two thin volumes of foreign poetry that he guesses have something to do either birds, or ravens, or maybe nature.
He’s just pulled the volume out and is about to open it when he hears someone coming up behind him.
“Seriously… Did you steal those clothes off a homeless man?” a deep voice drawls behind him, and he spins around with a blush, the book dropping from his fingers in the process.
He looks up, up, up, up and locks eyes with the most gorgeous guy he’s ever seen. His blush deepens and he tears his eyes away, scanning the floor for his precious finding.
“God, I’m sorry,” the guy says, bending down and picking up the book that landed at his feet. “I thought you were someone else.”
“I get that a lot,” Jensen murmurs lamely, taking the proffered book from the stranger’s fingers. It figures that the tall, dark and gorgeous guy is a friend of Jesse’s; he always did like to surround himself with good-looking people.
The stranger reaches out suddenly and pulls Jensen’s cap off, and Jensen looks up with a start, to find him grinning. “You’re twins, right?” the stranger asks. “Because if you’re not… I’m never smoking pot ever again.”
Jensen smiles a little at that, reaching for his cap. He bets his hair is all flat and stupid, and not that he normally cares, but this guy knows Jesse. He must be wondering how Jesse can have such an unattractive copy of himself walking around.
He stupidly finds himself wishing that he’d put something else on this morning, maybe the only pair of jeans he has that actually fit and a simple t-shirt, instead of the baggy hoodie that makes him look like a dork that hasn’t figured out it’s 80 degrees outside.
The stranger keeps the cap out of Jensen’s reach with childish glee. “Do you have a name?” he asks. “Your name for your cap.”
“Jensen,” Jensen says and the stranger smiles.
“Jensen… Jesse and Jensen… Your parents weren’t really of the imaginative type, were they?”
His name shouldn’t sound so good coming from someone else, especially not someone that has managed to insult twice in about as many minutes.
“Do you have a name?” Jensen finds himself asking.
“Jared,” the stranger says, and finally lowers the hand holding the cap to let Jensen grab it and shove it back on his head.
He knows that his cheeks are flaming as he studies the worn book in his heads really hard, waiting for the stranger to leave. He’s not stupid; he knows that he’ll never be able to keep the interest of someone that knows Jesse. He and Jesse are like opposite sides of a coin. Jesse got all the cool and Jensen got the shy, with a side of dork.
“So Jesse never mentioned he has a twin,” Jared says, following Jensen when he starts walking aimlessly down a row of shelves.
“We don’t talk much,” Jensen says as way of explanation.
He’s acutely aware of Jared walking right behind him, so close that if Jensen stopped, Jared would bump into him. He really has to focus to keep on walking.
“Why not?” Jared asks, and Jensen wonders if he’s always this talkative, or if he should feel specially blessed.
“I don’t know,” Jensen murmurs. He’d rather not be talking about Jesse right now. He’d called Jesse the minute he got to LA and had gotten settled in his tiny apartment. Jesse had done his usual - it’s nice to hear from you bro, was the flight all right, we should hang some day, I’ll show you the sights- and Jensen hadn’t heard from him since.
It’s not like he wants to hang on Jesse's shirttails, but he doesn’t know anyone in LA and he’s done so much exploring in the last few weeks that he’s getting sick of it. Talking to his old friends on the phone just makes him homesick, and it would be nice to just go out and have a beer some night.
“Sorry,” Jared says. “Didn’t mean to pry.”
Jensen stops at a random shelf, pretending to the scanning the backs for something. Jared almost bumps into him, but stops himself at the very last instant.
“Are you looking for something? Can I help you?” Jared asks.
Jensen licks his lips nervously, glancing sideways at Jared, who’s leaning against the shelf with a smile on his lips. He really is gorgeous, tall and tanned, with a head full of brown hair, sparkling hazel eyes and the meanest set of dimples Jensen’s ever seen. Unwillingly, he lets his eyes slide lower, over Jared's broad chest hugged by a simple light blue t-shirt, down the calf-length blue jeans to his feet in a dorky pair of flip flops. He doesn’t look groomed enough to be hanging with Jesse's crew, but maybe Jesse was over-powered by the force of that smile.
“I’m just gonna buy this and go grab a cup of coffee somewhere,” Jensen hears himself saying. It sounds a whole lot like an invite, and his face starts burning again. God, he’s such an idiot.
“Cool,” Jared says. “Can I come? I mean, I know this amazing little Italian café not far from here… I promise I won’t insult you, or your heritage again.”
Jensen looks up, his stomach clenching nervously. He was never very good at this sort of thing. He can’t for the life of him figure out if Jared's flirting or just being nice.
“I… uh…” he blushes again.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Jared says with an easy grin.
“No… I… It would be nice,” Jensen manages to get out, blushing even hotter. Someone should just shoot him now and put him out of his misery.
“Great,” Jared says, rubbing his hands together and looking around. “Uh… which way’s out again?”
Jensen looks around, too. “I think it’s that way,” he says, pointing vaguely towards the direction they came from.
Jared takes the lead and Jensen tries really hard to not stare at his ass, failing spectacularly most of the time. It’s a nice ass and Jared has really nice legs, too. He doesn’t look strangely proportioned like most really tall guys do, he’s really kind of perfect and Jensen contemplates hiding between the shelves until he disappears.
They find their way to the counter and Jensen pays for the book he hasn’t even really looked at yet. It only cost him two dollars, though, so he doesn’t mind. It’s not like he’s gonna start looking through it and look like a dork in front of Jared, who’s leaning against the wall next to the door in a far too hot looking slouch.
Jared takes the lead when they get out on the street and he talks animatedly about all and nothing, waving his hands around and shooting occasional grins in Jensen's direction. Jensen doesn’t say much, he was never the talkative type, and he honestly has no idea what Jared would like to hear about.
They’re about to turn a street corner when a squeed Jared reaches their ears and they both turn around to find a tiny dark haired woman running down the street towards them.
“Sandy,” Jared exclaims with obvious delight, and then she’s in his arms being swung around like they’re a couple in a really cheesy romantic movie.
Jensen steps back to avoid being hit by her feet and wonders if maybe he should keep on walking. He’s pretty sure Jared only wanted to have coffee with him because he was bored and this Sandy person is obviously someone he likes.
Jared puts her down on her feet again, still with a delighted grin on his face.
“Sandy, this is Jensen,” he says gesturing towards Jensen. “Jensen… Sandy.”
Sandy grabs one of his hands and shakes it vigorously. “Seriously, Jared,” she says. “Where do you find all these hot boys, and could you maybe find one for me?”
Jensen blushes again because apparently it never gets old.
“Awww and he’s bashful, too. If you don’t want him, can I have him?”
Jensen thinks that this would have been a really good time to just sink through the ground and disappear. Sandy is tiny and gorgeous and she has a killer smile that rivals Jared. He doesn’t go for girls, but she’s just so cute.
“I think you’d better ask Jensen about that,” Jared says with a laugh.
“Can I have you?” Sandy asks, sounding earnest, but her eyes are sparkling. “You don’t want Jared any way. He talks all the time and he spends way too much time studying.”
Jensen glances to Jared for support.
“Leave him alone, Sandy,” Jared says, sliding an arm around Jensen’s shoulders. “He’s the shy type and as outrageous as it might sound… Maybe he doesn’t want either of us.”
“You spoil all my fun,” Sandy says, winking at Jensen. “I have to go now, but why don’t you bring Jensen to my show. He looks like he would appreciate some dancing.”
“I’ll ask him,” Jared says, his fingers tightening on Jensen’s shoulder.
Sandy gives them a cute wave over her shoulder as she takes off down the street.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” Jared says, letting his arm drop from Jensen’s shoulder. “She’s a bit intense.”
“It’s okay,” Jensen murmurs, missing the comforting weight of Jared's arm and the hard body pressed up against his side.
“I…” Jared grows silent. “If I’m too much, you just have to tell me.”
“No,” Jensen says immediately. “I mean… It’s fine. I just… I spent the last year with my nose buried in books and running errands for a ninety-year-old professor in a country where I didn’t know anyone. I’m not used to being around people and I wasn’t really all that witty to begin with.”
Jared laughs and steals Jensen’s cap again, pressing it down on his own unruly hair.
“Hey,” Jensen says, reaching for it, but Jared jumps out of the way.
Jensen’s hand goes to his hair, trying to make something of the flatness going on on top of his head.
“Here, let me,” Jared says, and suddenly there’s huge hands cradling his skull and fingers running through his hair. Jensen shivers and bites back a moan, so thankful that his jeans are baggy, it’s not even funny.
“Better,” Jared says, surveying his handiwork. He pushes Jensen’s wire rimmed glasses up his nose and grins. “Jesse doesn’t wear glasses,” he says, his eyes looking odd, almost wistful.
“He thinks they make him look like a geek,” Jensen says.
“Maybe a little,” Jared says, starting to walk again.
“Hey,” Jensen complains, because Jared did say he wasn’t going to insult him anymore.
“But a really, really hot geek,” Jared throws over his shoulder and, yeah, Jensen melts on the spot.
~*~
It’s almost ten when Jensen gets back to his apartment, and it’s a testament to how really fucking boring his life is that he can’t remember when he last had so much fun. The Italian café was awesome, and they had the best sandwiches ever, and the fact that Jared insisted on paying was even better.
After the café they’d taken a walk, eaten ice cream in the park, gone to an afternoon showing of Casablanca and then had dinner in a French restaurant that Jensen had found while exploring the neighborhood. Jared's charm was just so easy that it hadn’t taken long before Jensen had eased out of his shell, telling Jared about his time in England, the professor and the amount of dust he’d inhaled.
By the end of the night Jared had invited him to Sandy’s show and to some party afterwards, and Jensen had said yes, because it wasn’t like he had anything else planned.
He has a meeting with the Professor that he will be hopefully be an RA for next semester around noon, but other than that, his week is an empty slate.
Before the meeting, Jensen decides, he will go out and buy himself some decent clothes. While in England he certainly needed the shield his baggy, old man’s clothes presented, but in LA they just make him look really ridiculous, and he kinda wants Jared to think he’s hot. It’s not like he’s gonna go buy something really flashy or anything, just normal jeans and t-shirts. He doesn’t want his desperation to be too obvious.
The thing is, Jensen spent all his life living in Jesse's shadow, because Jesse was always the brash outgoing one. Jesse was the first one to hit puberty, the first one to get facial hair, the first one to have a girlfriend and he never ever got a pimple. Jensen had a nervous stutter, blushed crimson every time a girl talked to him, and he needed glasses in fifth grade. Well, Jesse probably needed glasses, too, but he was just devious enough to learn the letters on the optician’s board before hand.
Jensen figured out he was gay in junior high, but he was way too shy to ever dare approach a guy. His sexual experience to this day, and he’s 24 years-old damnit, is limited to a few fumbled handjobs and a really embarrassing blowjob experience. Jesse, on the other hand, has been shopping for both sexes since his early teens, and Jensen’s willing to bet his number of sexual encounters is in the high hundreds.
Maybe moving to LA and being close to Jesse again isn’t the best idea Jensen ever got, but he really wants his PhD, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan is an expert in Jensen’s preferred field of studies. The Professor seemed really pleased with the work Jensen had been doing in England, and hopefully he will want Jensen to assist him next semester. By that time Jesse ought to have gotten his bogus degree, despite all his false starts and he’d be gone from the school.
Jensen is having a hard time focusing on what he’s going to say to Jeffrey, though, because Jared keeps popping into his head. It’s silly, he’s only known the guy for half a day, but the fact that Jared programmed his number into Jensen’s phone makes Jensen want to call him.
He doesn’t have anything to say, though, so it would just be the stupidest conversation ever. He’s half tempted to call and ask if he should be wearing something special for the show and party tomorrow, but that would make him seem really gay and he hasn’t exactly figured out where Jared is on the gay scale.
He ends up calling Jared anyway, because he’s pathetic and lonely and he really wants to have a friend in LA.
Jared picks up after the first ring. “Jared,” he says and just the sound of his voice makes Jensen smile.
“Uh… Hi, it’s Jensen,” Jensen says stupidly.
“Hey,” Jared says and Jensen can hear him moving. “Can you wait a sec? I just got out of the shower and talking on the phone naked always makes me feel dumb.”
Jensen swallows, his cock going from limp to rock hard in 0.3 seconds. Jesus. It takes a few moments and then Jensen hears the phone being picked up again.
“Better,” Jared says. “There’s no telling when my roommate gets back, and he always makes such a fuss when I’m naked.”
’Naked’, Jensen thinks, his mouth going dry.
“So,” Jared says when the silence stretches out. “Did you want anything?”
Jensen blushes miserably, glad that Jared can’t see him. “I was just thinking about tomorrow… It’s not like formal or anything, is it?”
Jared laughs. “Nah… Just try not to dress like a hobo and you’ll be fine.”
Jensen smiles a little. “I was thinking I’d buy some new clothes. I didn’t exactly come here equipped for LA-land, but I’ve been putting it off. I have to get something for my lunch meeting with Professor Morgan anyway. I bet he doesn’t want an RA that looks like a… what did you say… hobo.”
“Shopping?” Jared sounds delighted. “Want company?”
“Don’t you have lectures?” Jensen asks, because he’s supposed to be the responsible adult here.
“Yeah, but only ‘til nine, then I have study time, but I already did my homework.”
“I… Yeah, you can tag along if you want, but I’m so not buying flip flops.”
“Don’t diss them ‘til you try ‘em,” Jared laughs. “So meet me outside the main building at nine?”
“Yeah,” Jensen says with a grin. “Yeah.”
“It’s a date,” Jared says. “Bye.”
“Bye,” Jensen repeats, hitting the button to end the call.
He sits with the phone in his hand for a few moments before getting up and heading for the shower. He needs some private time, oh yes, he does.
~*~
Jared's already outside when Jensen arrives, talking to a blond guy with something of a squint. He waves when he notices Jensen and the blond guy who follows Jared's line of vision makes the googly eyes.
“Hey, Jen,” Jared says when Jensen walks up to them. “This is Chad.”
“Jesus,” Chad says, licking his lips. “You really are Jesse's twin.”
“Uh, yeah,” Jensen says, trying to not grin too stupidly over Jared calling him Jen.
Chad gives Jared a sideways look Jensen can’t really read, but Jared gives him a shove so Jensen figures it was an insult. He fights the urge to pull his ball cap further down over his face. He learned the hard way that it’s never a good idea to be mistaken for Jesse.
“Ready to go?” Jared asks, which is really pretty stupid since Jensen was ready to go when he left his apartment.
“Yeah,” Jensen says anyway, wondering if Chad’s gonna come too.
“See you later,” Chad says and turns back towards the entrance, so Jensen figures that’s a no.
“Chad didn’t believe me when I told him you were Jesse's twin,” Jared says with an easy smile. “And he couldn’t wait for tonight to find out if it was true either.”
“He’s coming, too?” Jensen asks, feeling a little stupid. He knew it wasn’t a date or something, but he still finds himself reluctant to share Jared.
“Yeah,” Jared says. “And Sandy, of course, and her girlfriends Sophia and Alison, and then there’s Chad, and uh… Steve and Chris, of course, it’s their house. Well, it’s Chris’s house, but Steve kinda lives there these days… I think. You know, I never asked him if he still has his ratty old apartment, he’s always at Chris's so I figured… I don’t know. I have a hard time picturing Chris asking him to move in, though, he’s not that type of guy.”
Jensen blinks, letting the words flush over him as Jared talks about his friends and their lives, coming back to the elusive Chris and Steve from time to time. Jensen chuckles when Jared finally gets himself so worked up over the issue of whether or not Chris and Steve live together that he fishes out his phone and calls Steve. He might have minded if Jared hadn’t put one of his big hands on Jensen’s back to keep him moving in the right direction while he talks.
Jared speaks to Steve for a few minutes before a huge laugh erupts from his throat and he has to stop to catch his breath. Jensen watches him with half a smile while Jared disconnects the call and slips his phone back into his pocket.
“So?” he inquires, because now that he got half the story he wants the rest.
“Steve moved in six months ago and sold his apartment. Chris still hasn’t figured it out.”
Jensen laughs. “Seriously?”
“Communication ain’t their strongest suit,” Jared admits with a grin.
Jensen smiles. He’s looking forward to meeting Jared's friends, they seem to be really cool and at least Steve and Chris seem to be gay, so hopefully no one will mind that he is.
Jared grabs him by the arms and drags him into a store. “I love this place,” he explains and Jensen looks around.
“Jayjay,” the guy behind the counter exclaims happily. “I didn’t think I’d see you until tonight…” He walks out from behind the counter and looks Jensen up and down. “And what are you bringing me?”
Jensen can’t resist the urge to hide behind Jared's bulk, because the look he’s getting is scary. Jared chuckles, snaking an arm out behind him to hug Jensen to his back and, yeah, Jensen’s in heaven.
“Mike, this is Jensen,” Jared says easily. “You have to handle him with care.”
“Yeah, but,” Mike circles around Jared like a predator aiming for his pray, “we got to do something about this boy.” He reaches out and pinches the leg of Jensen’s jeans. “Can I?”
“What?” Jensen asks.
“Make you over,” Mike says and his voice is full of glee.
“It’s okay,” Jared says. “He won’t make you wear flip flops.”
Jensen chuckles and pulls out of Jared's protective half embrace. “Okay.”
Mike looks pretty good up close, if a little crazy and he’s wearing a t-shirt that proudly exclaims I ♥ my wiener.
“Tom,” Mike bellows, clapping his hands excitedly. “Crank up the music, we’re having a chick flick makeover moment.”
The already obnoxiously loud hip hop beat gets louder and a tall dark haired guy rounds a corner. Jensen supposes that it’s only in LA you can find people that look like superman working in a clothing store. A tiny little dachshund is twining excitedly around his legs and as Mike gets down on his knees and baby talks it, Jensen realizes that Mike really does love his wiener.
Soon Jensen finds himself pushed into a changing room with heaps of clothes being thrown at him from every direction. Jared, being all obnoxious, takes a seat in a corner and watches the whole thing with obvious amusement. Jensen flushes beet red as he strips down to his boxers and he can actually feel Jared checking him out.
He can’t stop wondering if Jared ever saw Jesse naked and if he’s comparing. Jesse is much more tanned than Jensen, or so he assumes, and he wouldn’t be caught dead in a pair of threadbare boxers like the ones Jensen is wearing. He hadn’t counted on Jared being in the dressing room when he changed clothes.
He tries on the clothes thrown at him dubiously, but it looks like Mike is not only a mean judge of size, but of character, as well. During his walk through the store, Jensen was almost scared by the array of weird clothes, but the ones landing at his feet are pretty sombre and a lot more him.
“I like,” Jared exclaims as Jensen furtively checks out his ass in a pair of dirt blue jeans he just threw on.
Jensen flushes again and glances at Jared, who’s watching him from underneath a pile of clothes that have been deemed keepers. He shimmies out of the jeans and throws them on Jared's pile, making Jared grin brighter than the sun. Jensen is mesmerised for a few moments before he realize he’s staring and tears his eyes away.
He quickly tries on another outfit as Mike pops in wearing Jensen’s ball cap on backwards.
“Nah,” he says dismissively, gesturing towards the plain jeans Jensen put on. “The jeans are so not you, but the t-shirt…” He hmmms meaningfully and waggles his eyebrows. “If I wasn’t a one man kind of guy, I would so have a hard on for you right now.”
Jensen blushes crimson, especially since Tom walks in to the already small space, as well. Tom pointedly looks over Mike's shoulder, down to the front of his jeans.
“Liar,” he says fondly and winks at Jensen. “But it’s what you do with it that counts.”
Jensen wonders if Jared would mind him burying into the pile of clothes on his lap. Jared's laughing, though, and throws a clothes hanger at them.
“Be nice,” he chides. “Can’t you see mah boy’s blushing?”
“But that’s what makes it fun,” Mike complains. “Do you know how rare it is to run into an innocent?”
Jensen feels all shivery inside and he doesn’t really mind that they’re teasing him. It’s nice teasing that doesn’t make him feel like a ginormous dork. He glances at the clock and realizes that if they don’t hurry up, he’ll actually be late for his lunch meeting.
“I have this… interview in a couple of hours,” he says. “It’s for an RA position at the university, got any ideas for what to wear?”
“Oooh,” Mike says, sounding gleeful again. “I’ve got just the thing for you.”
Jensen gives Tom a nervous look, but Tom just grins and follows Mike out of the dressing room. He glances at Jared, who’s folding up the clothes thrown on him, making a neat pile on his lap.
“You have the coolest friends,” he says and he knows he’s sounding a bit wistful.
Jared grins. “Yeah, they’re kinda great and also very… forthcoming. In a couple of weeks you’ll think you’ve known them your entire life.”
Jensen can’t keep his smile off his face. It was nice to imagine being a part of Jared's wonderful group of friends, but he can’t really figure out how Jesse fits into it. It seems that Jared and Jesse are more than classmates, something like friends, but Mike and Tom don’t seem to know Jesse, and neither did Sandy. He doesn’t want to come right out and ask, though. It would feel weird.
Mike returns with an ensemble for Jensen to try on - grey slacks and a black button down shirt. He eyes it dubiously, but he puts it on anyway and Jared whistles behind him.
“Well, hello mister Academic career is coming my way,” he says with obvious appreciation.
Jensen looks at him over his shoulder and Jared grins. “Lets just hope the professor appreciates a nice ass as much as I do,” Jared adds and Jensen’s blushing again, which is getting really fucking old.
Mike pops his head in and looks Jensen up and down. “Yeah,” he says. “Definitively a keeper. I fucking rock!”
Jensen laughs and studies himself in the mirror. It’s a good look, dressy without being formal, casual without being too casual. The worn sneakers peeking out beneath the pants, though, look out of place and he could really use a belt. He tells Mike as much and he disappears, yelling for Tom again.
“Can you really afford all this?” Jared asks and Jensen turns to face Jared who’s looking through the pile on his lap.
“Yeah,” Jensen says with a shrug. “I get the same allowance Jesse does, but I don’t spend mine on designer clothes, dates and booze. Besides, I’ve been working along side my studies most of the time.”
Jared grins. “So you’re, like, rich? Wanna be my sugar daddy?”
Jensen laughs. “I wouldn’t say rich… but, you know… well off.”
Truth is, Jensen never really craved a flashy lifestyle and he likes to have money in his account for a bad month. Over the years, though, the money has grown to considerably more than he ever thought he’d have. He even tried to pay his parents back, but they refused to take the money, saying that if he’d managed to save all that money, then he should spend it any way he wanted. If they paid for Jesse's education, they were damned well going to pay for Jensen’s, as well, whether he wanted it or not.
Tom appears in the door to the dressing room and hands over a pair of dressy shoes. He’s looking flushed and out of breath, but he’s grinning. Jensen toes his sneakers off and tries the dress shoes instead. They’re exactly his size and he wonders what kind of a magic measure eye Mike has.
“Looks good,” Tom says. “Do they fit alright?”
“Yeah. They’re great.” He glances at Jared who nods his approval easily. “I’ll take them.”
“Good,” Tom says with grin. “I would hate to have to run back down the street to find something else.”
Jensen laughs. “Thanks man. You’ve been great. Both of you,” he adds when Mike appears in the door, as well.
“I assume you’ll be leaving in that outfit,” Mike says, handing him a black leather belt.
“Yeah, if it’s okay,” Jensen says, threading the belt through the loops and buckling it.
“Totally. Anything more you wanna look at, or can we wrap this makeover scene?”
“I’m good,” Jensen says with a smile.
Mike snags the price tags off Jensen’s clothes and Jared hands his pile over to Tom. Jared gets up from the chair and stretches his hands, almost touching the roof, and his shirt rides up to show a sliver of his tanned, ripped stomach.
Tall, Jensen thinks dumbly. Hot.
“Do you’ve time to grab a bite before the interview?” Jared asks.
Jensen glances at his watch again. “Yeah, as long as it’s nearby.”
“There’s a nice place just around the corner.”
Jared follows him as he walks out of the dressing room, grabbing a package of boxer briefs from a nearby stand and thrusts it at Jensen. Jensen looks at them and quirks an eyebrow.
“So not my size,” he says and puts them back, reaching for another package.
Jared blinks and smiles lazily. “I don’t have Mike's amazing size judging powers.”
Jensen grins, taking another package from the stand, because he likes the thought of wearing Jared approved underwear, and to be honest his boxer collection is getting kind of pathetic. Jared is watching him from under half lidded eyes and Jensen fidgets a little under the intense stare.
Jared licks his lips, and for a heart stopping moment he thinks Jared's going to kiss him. Then Doris, the dachshund, comes running, barking happily at them and the moment’s broken. Jared starts before kneeling down to pet her, ruffling her floppy ears and scratching her tiny tummy when she offers it.
Jensen turns towards the front of the store and walks up to the counter where Mike and Tom are both waiting with his bags. He hands over the boxers, as well, and tries not to wince at the total.
“The shoes are included,” Mike says and Jensen smiles.
“Thanks,” he says. “I had a good time.”
“We too,” Tom says. “Are you coming tonight?”
“Yeah,” Jensen glances at Jared, who’s waiting by the door with a casual smile on his lips. “Yeah.”
Part Two