Everyone is a whiny candyass at some point in their life. It's called a coping mechanism, and it's part of being human. You are human, aren't you? Anyone who tells you to STFU can GTFO, or DIAF (gamer talk, die in a fire).
It's true. We would not be human if we didn't show our weaknesses from time to time and you don't whine that much generally, and you're allowed to when you're in pain. I hope you find some way of coping with it. Are you doing any of your fabulous artwork these days? I miss seeing it, as you are so talented (in so many ways).
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. What I have come to know of you, you are always there for others and are good at it! I apologize if any of this sounds patronizing but where I work we get some training on "compassion fatigue" and your post reminded me of something they taught us there. Many times people who are caregivers tend to be the most forgiving people when it comes to negativity from others. Caregivers may often be met with a rebuff from those we are trying to help, both in a personal or professional capacity. However, if they later come and attempt to make amends we are almost always willing to accept their apology or at the least to just let it go. The one person we don’t grant this to is ourselves. Who listens to the listeners? Who comforts the comforter? Sometimes we have to remember to cut ourselves some slack, or as the self-help folks say: Choose to be generous with yourself!
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*hugs*
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