Just a memory

[jessicaem]

I had a dream about my mom last night. I haven't had one in a while, and the three I've had before were all bizarre, where she was undead or a ghost. In this one, she was definitely just a memory. Someone in the dream sent me a video he'd taken of me on an airplane (the person sending the video was someone I barely knew through people on LJ, and

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[crosstherubicon]

The other day I sat down and typed up some of my memories of my childhood. Mostly amusing things about the Irish Church in London etc. Then I started to write about my brother's death and was surprised to find the grief is still as strong as ever. I couldn't write without crying about the moment my father called me into the hospital room to tell me that Paul had died.

The truth is that it doesn't ever go away and sometimes just springs up at you in the most unlikely of situations - in a shop, at a bus stop...you can find memories of the person at the most inopportune moments.

There remains just to get on with life and know that in time those moments become further and further apart until we're able to look at those experiences through less raw eyes.

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