Remember when we went to the Carnival and it happened to be on your birthday? Well, when you were playing that mini golf course, I told Brad Isbister it was your birthday and when you got to him, he did a mini stripshow for you. Then I lied to Andrew Raycroft and told him it was my birthday too and he did a mini stripshow for me.
Remember when I decided I wanted to go to Russia for the weekend but forgot to tell you that I've been on the top enemies list since 1941 and we got captured and put in prison where you met your husband Nikolai (who raped you when he introduced himself) and I met Mikhail when I offered to get him to America with us, and then we escaped through the plumbing into Leningrad where this old man named Vova helped us buy vodka so we could barter our way across the border but accidentally ended up in Finland where they tried to shoot us but ran out of ammo cause Nikolai kept catching the bullets in his teeth so we hid inside this fat lady's dress and when she started singing I thought we were done for, so we jumped off the boat and hitched a ride on a sperm whale - but we had to jump off of him too cause he started banging another whale, so we swam to New York and were deliriously talking about truffles when we got there and then walked back to NH but not before Nikolai died of dysentery and Mikhail died of Scurvy?
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oh shit, it was supposed to be a lie?
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We should lie more often :)
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Boy, that was a fun
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