You're not super-human. None of us are. Yes, we all do somethings that we come to regret, but that makes us all the more human for it. Don't feel dirty, or anything else but good about who you are.
If there is one lesson that we can all take from life; it's that happiness needs to be worked on.
It's something that has to be cultivated. Don't undo all of that blossoming of late, over one ill timed rebuttal.
It may have been rude, but so was your co-worker's comment. Granted, two wrongs don't make a right, but still ... one never knows who they're talking to, and she should have never said what she said.
And the fact is that she IS bigoted if that's her attitude. Perhaps you were wrong to call her on it publically, but hey ... if I'd been there, you would have been peeling her off the floor in pieces after a comment like that, so you did pretty good, all things considered. DOn't be so hard on yourself. Maybe from now on, she'll actually think before she opens her mouth like that again.
i'm less mad at myself for saying it... more hurt because i really thought that i was past the need to self identify by labels such as that. i don't like those kinds of labels. i am not one thing. saying i am "foo" or "bar" is something that i am trying to get away from doing. i guess i have a bit further to go than i had been thinking... that's all.
i'm in the process of redefining my box. the old one doesn't fit. there are many many labels left over from the old box. most of them don't fit... some of them never really did. the way i'm discovering which ones truly fit and which ones need to be thrown away entirely is by examining my reactions to them. that reaction was kneejerk and reminiscent of what i used to do. that reaction just isn't me anymore. that's why it upset me so.
At least you had the grace to try to bite your tongue and even more so, to apologize afterwards even when you felt wronged still. I would have just cut them down and not looked back. This is just of the things that you do better than I that I want to learn to do myself.
Progress doesn't come without risk. I applaud you for saying what was on your mind. I know that we all hear comments that we don't appreciate. Perhaps we all have to bite our tongues sometimes, but there are also times to do the brave thing and say something. Be happy you're brave; I hope that I would have done the same.
i don't even understand where he comment came from (let alone that it sounds very bigoted). how do we go from "those dolls are overly sexualized for little girls" to the laternative being playing with lesbians?
oh, right. i forget how many stupid people are allowed to breed....
don't feel too bad. you're not supposed to be a moral exemplar. if you want to be, ok, but it's not in the job description. if you act like a normal person, don't feel bad.
and forgive my ignorance, but since when are you a lesbian ?-)
ro (who walked past Zrinka the other day and almost turned in to see if you were there until i remembered that you weren't. *le sigh*)
don't feel too bad. you're not supposed to be a moral exemplar. if you want to be, ok, but it's not in the job description. if you act like a normal person, don't feel bad.
i don't expect myself to be a moral exemplar. i only expect myself to treat others as i would wish to be treated. meaning i try to treat others with respect and an open mind. so, i bristle when i snap at someone like that.
and forgive my ignorance, but since when are you a lesbian ?-)<.i>
you're forgiven! i'm not. bi/poly/switch.. i'm not indecisive, i'm greedy! *grin* but, basically, it was just easier to say lesbian for that particular convo.
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None of us are.
Yes, we all do somethings that we come to regret, but that makes us all the more human for it.
Don't feel dirty, or anything else but good about who you are.
If there is one lesson that we can all take from life; it's that happiness needs to be worked on.
It's something that has to be cultivated. Don't undo all of that blossoming of late, over one ill timed rebuttal.
Please.
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And the fact is that she IS bigoted if that's her attitude. Perhaps you were wrong to call her on it publically, but hey ... if I'd been there, you would have been peeling her off the floor in pieces after a comment like that, so you did pretty good, all things considered. DOn't be so hard on yourself. Maybe from now on, she'll actually think before she opens her mouth like that again.
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i don't like those kinds of labels. i am not one thing.
saying i am "foo" or "bar" is something that i am trying to get away from doing.
i guess i have a bit further to go than i had been thinking... that's all.
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I think it is in human nature to categorize and label--others and ourselves.
humans like nice, neat taxonomies...too bad the world but seldom complies.
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there are many many labels left over from the old box. most of them don't fit... some of them never really did.
the way i'm discovering which ones truly fit and which ones need to be thrown away entirely is by examining my reactions to them.
that reaction was kneejerk and reminiscent of what i used to do. that reaction just isn't me anymore.
that's why it upset me so.
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Arr,
Sarum
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um.....
i don't even understand where he comment came from (let alone that it sounds very bigoted). how do we go from "those dolls are overly sexualized for little girls" to the laternative being playing with lesbians?
oh, right. i forget how many stupid people are allowed to breed....
don't feel too bad. you're not supposed to be a moral exemplar. if you want to be, ok, but it's not in the job description. if you act like a normal person, don't feel bad.
and forgive my ignorance, but since when are you a lesbian ?-)
ro (who walked past Zrinka the other day and almost turned in to see if you were there until i remembered that you weren't. *le sigh*)
Reply
i don't expect myself to be a moral exemplar. i only expect myself to treat others as i would wish to be treated. meaning i try to treat others with respect and an open mind.
so, i bristle when i snap at someone like that.
and forgive my ignorance, but since when are you a lesbian ?-)<.i>
you're forgiven! i'm not. bi/poly/switch.. i'm not indecisive, i'm greedy! *grin*
but, basically, it was just easier to say lesbian for that particular convo.
*hugs*
have a good weekend!
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