If you've never heard of the term 'smarm' (as used in fandom), then you might find the next essay interesting:
The Origin, History, and Correct Definition and Use of the Fannish Term "Smarm". If you know all about it and/or have read the essay, well ... re-reading it won't hurt, will it :P? (ETA: please notice it was written many, many years ago
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It doesn't matter if the characters hug, or kiss, or even touch each other in ways that can be construed as sexual, so long as the one factor of their intent remains unchanged, focussed outward rather than inward.
She seems to imply that authorial intent must always trump the reader's perception. When I read a shower scene involving 2 male friends, and the author lovingly describes how one washes the other's back, with all sorts of sensual detail--I call that a romantic scene. She seems to want to define smarm here as "romance without sex." Which, er, is IMHO still slash, because as I understand it, slash encompasses romantic as well as sexual relationships.
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