Gift Fic for encoded_panties
Gift Fic for encoded_panties
by silver_rose88
Title: Crash and Burn
Pairing: Yamashita Tomohisa/Nakamaru Yuichi [NewS/KAT-TUN]
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes Maru feels like his entire life consists of accident after accident, strapped forever onto a roller coaster ride he can’t control. But after Yamapi comes into his life, he thinks this might just be the one ride he doesn’t mind.
Notes: Thanks to L for helping with everything and listening to me bitch and whine and moan and thanks to P for the help and the lovely beta. I couldn’t have done this without you both. <3 And to encoded_panties, I’m glad I got you! This was quite fun to write and I really, really hope you enjoy it! <3
It starts with an accident, which Maru thinks is actually quite apt. Sometimes he feels like his entire life consists of accident after accident, strapped forever onto a roller coaster ride he can’t control.
He sneaks into NewS’ dressing room when he knows they aren’t there and puts shaving cream in with what he assumes is Koyama’s bag. They've been doing this for a few weeks - just silly pranks on each other - the usual cross-group battle. Koyama had started it on Shounen Club fliming last month and Maru couldn’t help but retaliate, and today he has a great plan he knows will work.
But, like everything else in Maru’s life, it fails, and it seems to fail in the worst way possible.
“Some idiot pranked Pi!” Jin is announcing to no one in particular, staring wide-eyed at his phone. “They put shaving cream in his bag and he nearly had a heart attack!”
Everyone ignores him except Maru, who practically chokes on his coffee and exclaims, “What?”
Thrilled that someone is playing attention to him, Jin turns to Maru and rambles, “He says it’s no one in his group who did it so he’s really confused. He hasn’t pranked anyone in a different group for a long time, so he doesn’t know who could have done it.”
“Didn’t you do it, Akanishi?” Kame comments dryly.
Jin looks aghast. “No. I would never prank Pi.”
Kame raises a brow and Jin amends, “Okay, so I would, but not like this.”
Kame continues looking skeptical and Jin puffs up in anger, ready to defend himself. Maru chooses this moment to slip out of the room unnoticed and rushes to NewS’ dressing room, feeling pale. How could he have made such a mistake? Especially one that involves Yamapi. Forget the fact that his attack on Koyama failed - right now, Maru is more worried about what Yamapi will say and think when he finds out the truth.
As luck would have it, Yamapi’s walking out of the room when Maru turns the corner. He’s glad because this way he doesn’t have to actually ask to talk to him or apologize in front of everyone. Yamapi notices him and smiles in greeting and Maru’s stomach squirms. Even though they are part of the same company and even though they have interacted a few, admittedly rare, times, Yamapi is, well, Yamapi, and Maru always gets unreasonably flustered around him.
So it only seems natural that he blurts out, “I’m sorry!” as Yamapi walks past him.
Yamapi stops in his tracks and Maru nearly smacks himself in the face, wincing slightly as he turns around. Yamapi just looks at him with bemusement so Maru rushes on, “T-The p-prank. That was me. But! I-I didn’t mean for it to happen to you!”
Yamapi just blinks and Maru continues, “It was supposed to be a prank for Koyama, but I accidentally put it in your bag. I’m really sorry, Yamashita-kun.” He bows his head apologetically, feeling pathetic as he waits anxiously for Yamapi’s response.
Of which he does not expect laughter, yet there Yamapi is, laughing with abandon, and Maru feels heat rising in his cheeks. When Yamapi finishes, Maru hesitantly looks up, feels slightly better when he sees the brightness in Yamapi’s eyes, the rare smile that’s tugging at his lips.
“It’s okay, Nakamaru-kun,” Yamapi says. “It was a good prank.”
Maru doesn’t really know what to say to this, so he only nods slowly. Yamapi seems to understand and grins even brighter, “When you think of something else to prank Koyama with, let me know and I’ll help, okay?” He winks and waves and walks away, leaving Maru a little bewildered and a lot flustered.
* * *
Maru’s sure he has the curse of always being the first one to any meeting or photo shoot or filming. And today is no exception. It’s a usual day full of magazine photo shoots and Maru arrives at the studio earlier than anyone. He’s there so early that Yamapi is still finishing up his own shoot, NewS having had the morning time-slot. Maru actually thinks of leaving and coming back when he’s sure Yamapi would be gone. Ever since what he termed "The Incident" Maru has been even more anxious around Yamapi. It’s like that stupid prank has caused a chain reaction because he is starting to see Yamapi everywhere. It’s like the world is constantly reminding him of what has happened. It’s like he’s being laughed at by some higher being every time Yamapi smiles at him and makes Maru flush to the tips of his ears.
And it happens again today - except this time he has no where else to go. The second one of the staff sees that he has arrived, she ushers him to change and then drags him away to hair and make-up. Now he has no choice but to lean carefully against a wall in the studio because he’s not allowed to sit lest the freshly pressed clothing wrinkles, and so he has to watch Yamapi.
Well, he doesn’t have to watch Yamapi, but his eyes always slide over to him anyway so he might as well just stare in his general direction. It’s only because he has nothing better to do and not because Yamapi looks really good in that dark suit they’ve got him in. Other than a few times on Shounen Club, Maru’s never seen Yamapi work this close before, and he can’t really help but be a bit entranced.
It doesn’t really help either when Yamapi happens to glance at Maru and smile, and subsequently make Maru stand up so straight he nearly knocks over the box of supplies by his feet. Yamapi just laughs and the photographer snaps shots like crazy and then he’s finished, nodding and bowing as he walks off the set. Maru’s still recovering from his earlier moment when Yamapi reaches him and greets him with a bright “Good morning!”
“G-G-Good morning!” Maru stammers back, just a bit louder than is really necessary.
Yamapi doesn’t seem to notice or mind, however, just nods at him and says, “Where’s the rest of your group?”
Maru shrugs. “Probably still sleeping,” he replies, hoping he sounds casually though his heart is beating madly.
Yamapi laughs, “I’m sure Jin still is.”
“Probably,” Maru agrees.
“Well, it’s obvious who the most dedicated member of KAT-TUN is then,” Yamapi says, starting directly at Maru who can instantly feel blood rush to his face.
He fumbles over his thoughts, trying to string something together but all that comes out is a tangled group of words. “Uhm, no, not me really just early am here coincidentally I is.”
When his mind catches up to his mouth, Maru groans, horrified, and hides his face in his hands. Yamapi just laughs and pats him on the shoulder and Maru has to stop himself from nearly jumping at the contact.
“Just one of those days, huh?” Yamapi says, making no other comment of Maru’s sudden inability to speak (like his group would do) and Maru kind of, maybe, possibly falls in love with him because of it.
Not trusting his voice to say anything anymore, Maru simply nods, even though he knows it’s not just “one of those days.” It’s Yamapi and everyday he sees the younger man that makes his insides turn and his mind melt.
Thankfully (or unfortunately, Maru’s not sure), the other members of KAT-TUN slowly start to arrive and Yamapi leaves him to greet them. Maru watches silently from where he stands, going over the previous few minutes and realizes just how pathetic he is, hating on himself for how tongue-tied he gets around Yamapi, how he doesn’t understand why.
* * *
Maru boos along with Ueda and Koki as Jin belts out a horrible rendition of Single Ladies at karaoke. It’s around three in the morning on the night of Maru’s birthday and contrary to popular belief, KAT-TUN actually do spend each other’s birthdays together (sometimes). After work that evening, they’d headed straight for the bars, drinking until Jin had dragged them to karaoke.
Maru’s having a pretty good time, even with Jin purposely singing off-key and Kame dancing drunkenly on the couches, and Junno’s puns growing worse with the more alcohol he consumes, and Koki’s clingy-ness as his own drinks start to catch up, and with Ueda’s sarcastic comments throughout the night. His bandmates are obnoxious and were it any other day he wouldn’t be here, but right now it’s okay, especially since it gets his mind off of a certain other thing. Person. Person-thing.
Maru’s sure he’s had too much to drink now because here he is thinking about what he told himself he wouldn’t think about. It’s becoming a little ridiculous, how much his thoughts run back to Yamapi whenever he has a spare moment. Even when he doesn’t have a spare moment, he’s thinking about the younger man.
He doesn’t get why, though. Other than the occasional story he hears about Yamapi from Jin, Maru doesn’t know him. Maru hardly speaks to him, and when he does, it’s usually just a jumble of sounds that somehow create a sentence (if he’s lucky). He still hasn’t gotten over last time. He just wishes he had someone to talk about this…this Yamapi-thing with. Half of his band is already out seeing as they’re pretty good (or best) friends with Yamapi, and even though Maru’s sure Junno wouldn’t tell (Maru can’t be completely certain about Ueda - especially when he’s drunk), he doesn’t want it to come out to the rest of the group because he knows they’ll mock him relentlessly if they ever found out.
So that leaves possibly talking to Massu or maybe Koyama, but that also has the even more dangerous fact that they regularly see Yamapi and, especially for Koyama who wears his heart on his sleeve, a secret of this caliber doesn’t seem likely to stay a secret for too long.
But in the end, the need to explain his strange fixation itches at him persistently until he gives in and scratches. Forgetting where he is, who he’s with, Maru just reaches for what he assumes is his phone off the center table, it feels like his phone, at any rate, and presses speed-dial to call Massu.
The second the phone connects, Maru exclaims, “Massu! I have to tell you something!”
There is a pause on the other end, then, “…Nakamaru-kun?”
Maru nods in response, thinking Massu’s voice sounds a little different than usual, but just blames the copious amounts of alcohol in his system and ignores it. “I have to tell you a secret,” he says, dropping his voice because it’s a secret and that’s just what people do when telling secrets.
“Are you ready?” Mar says and without for a response says, “I think I have a problem. A crush. A problem-crush. Thing.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes,” he says, one again ignoring how Massu sounds less like Massu and a lot like Yamapi, and adds, “I don’t really know why.” He pauses. “Okay, well, I do, because he’s really nice and attractive and really nice and attractive.”
“He?” says the-Massu-who-doesn’t-sound-like-Massu.
Maru blinks and nods solemnly. “Yeah,” he affirms, but when Massu doesn’t inquire further, he lowers his voice still and says, “Want to know who? But you can’t tell anyone, okay?”
And, again, without waiting for an answer, Maru continues, “I think, maybe, possibly, probably, I like Yamashita-kun.”
There’s a moment of silence on the other end but Maru doesn’t seem to notice as he’s too busy rambling to himself. “Weird, right? But I don’t know, I just. Do. Which is confusing. Which is why I wanted to tell you. What do you think? But you can’t tell anyone. Especially not Koyama since he can’t keep a secret. And obviously not Yamashita-kun because he’s Yamashita-kun and, well, I’m me, and I’m not really looking for anything to come from this, not really. I think. Well, maybe I do because I do like him, but-”
“Nakamaru, what the fuck are you doing with my phone?” Jin exclaims, snatching said phone straight out of Maru’s hands and peering at the screen.
“What?” Maru shrieks. “Y-Your phone?”
Jijn doesn’t hear him, preoccupied with his phone and saying, “Pi? Is that you? What’re you doing? Nakamaru didn’t say anything weird, did he?”
While Jin contiunues talking to Yamapi who is most definitely not Massu, Maru starts to feel sick to his stomach because that…that was now supposed to happen. Yamapi was not supposed to know. And what the fuck did he just do?
“I’m never drinking again,” Maru mutters to himself as he rushes to the bathroom to throw up.
* * *
The only good thing that comes out of Maru’s unintentional confession is that, thankfully, Yamapi does not tell Jin. Of course, Jin doesn’t take this kindly and tries to wheedle it out of Maru who only smothers himself unsuccessfully with a pillow. Even more thankfully, Yamapi hasn’t directly asked Maru about it either. Maru’s not entirely sure what he’d do if Yamapi did. However, thinking about it makes him even more sick to his stomach so he tries instead to fill his thoughts with stupid, silly things like unicorns and cotton candy and butterflies and definitely not on the desperate hope that Yamapi could like him back.
He knows it won’t happen because Yamapi is Yamapi and Maru’s like is permanently doomed to failure. Even if he does manage to (soberly) confess to Yamapi, Yamapi will probably just laugh at him and walk away. He doesn’t expect anything more than that.
So his best course of action is to ignore Yamapi as much as possible. Which is quite easy seeing as how they don’t interact on a regular basis anyway.
But, of course, the Universe isn’t done interfering with Maru’s life and has quite different plans. As Maru leaves the Jimusho one day, he gets stopped by none other than the object of his affections who informs him with a hearty clap to the back, “For November’s Shounen Club I’m the guest. So I guess I’ll see you this coming Friday for the filming, Nakamaru-kun!”
And just as quickly as he comes, Yamapi waves goodbye and rushes out the doors ahead of him, leaving Maru standing transfixed in the hallway for a long time afterward.
When Friday rolls around, Maru contemplates faking ill - that he has caught Jin’s plague and can’t go into work so could they find someone else to MC for him. But after a few minutes of self-loathing, he finally drags himself out of bed because despite the embarrassment he’s sure to encounter today, work is more important and he can’t skip out on principle.
Maru does his best at hiding from everyone while filming - of course, this is a great feat since Shounen Club is a madhouse on its best day. But he hasn’t yet seen Yamapi so Maru thinks the day is going along quite well until Koyama tells - or practically begs - Maru to explain Yamapi’s medley performance to Yamapi himself.
“Why can’t you do it?” Maru demands.
And Koyama makes the lamest excuse ever and flees and Maru wonders if Koyama doesn’t know and did this on purpose. Grudgingly, he heads to the dance studio where Yamapi should be waiting to rehearse.
“Hi, Nakamaru-kun!” Yamapi greets him and Maru just makes friends with the floor with his eyes and gets straight to the point.
“Y-You’re doing a me-medley,” he explains. “The first song is Colorful, then Love Song, and lastly, Daite Senorita.”
Yamapi blinks. “I thought Love Song was first.”
“Uhm, no. I’m sure it’s second…” Maru says distractedly as just being in the same room with Yamapi is starting to freak him out. He still hasn’t looked up from the floor either, and Yamapi notices, frowning a little as he steps closer. Maru sees his feet move and tenses, backs away.
“You can look at me, you know,” Yamapi says, wounded, and when Maru only steps further away, asks, “Is this about-”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maru cuts in loudly. “I-I’ve completely forgotten about that. Just…Just completely forgotten. So…So you should too. Forget it, I mean.” And, realizing he’s rambling, quickly turns on his heel and rushes out of the room before Yamapi can’t say anything more.
The filming starts out smoothly and Maru actually focuses on work and not on Yamapi. And when Yamapi comes out as the guest, thankfully, Koyama does most of the talking, letting Maru concentrate on introducing the medley without messing up, going over the line in his head and ignoring the way he can feel Yamapi’s shoulder pressed against his.
When the camera pans to him, he recites his line, “Yamashita-kun will be singing a few of his songs for us today, so here is Yamashita-kun singing a special medley!” without any faults and sighs with relief when the camera turns to focus on Yamapi off on the stage.
But as Maru clearly has not been embarrassed enough lately, the music that starts playing does not correlate with the song Yamapi is singing and the dances the juniors are doing are obviously for the wrong song. And that’s when Maru realizes he told Yamapi the wrong order of the medley. By the time the director calls out to start over, Maru’s ready to run off set in mortification.
Koyama turns to him and says, “Didn’t you tell Pi what order it was?”
“I-I-I-” Maru starts, feeling so stupid for making such a mistake.
“Don’t be angry at Nakamaru-kun, Koyama,” Yamapi says, joining them. He meets Maru’s eyes and lies, “It was my fault. My mind was elsewhere.”
Koyama rolls his eyes, clearly having heard that line before. “Okay, well, do it right this time.”
Yamapi salutes and then grins at Maru who quickly averts his gaze. This time the medley goes through perfectly in one take and they wrap up the rest of the days’ filming in the next few hours. As everyone gets ready to leave, Maru hovers around Yamapi’s dressing room anxiously for the younger man to come out.
When he finally does, he stops in his tracks at finding Maru and offers a small smile. “Good work today,” he says with a teasing grin.
Even Maru can’t help but laugh at that. “I’m sorry about messing up the order. You didn’t have to take the blame.”
Yamapi shrugs. “No big deal.”
“But-” Maru insists.
“Well,” Yamapi cuts in, stepping up to him. “If you want to make it up to me, I do have a way.”
Maru blinks uncertainly but says nothing and Yamapi closes the space between them before he whispers, “Tomorrow night, have dinner with me.”
“W-What?” Maru exclaims, eyes widening.
Yamapi pulls back to smile. “Okay? I’ll mail you when and where later. See you tomorrow, Nakamaru-kun.”
* * *
Just like Yamapi said he would, he mails Maru the time and place the next morning. He’s not sure where Yamapi got his number from but is too busy just staring at the message in shock to really care. After ten minutes does it finally seem to click that this is really happening and that Yamapi actually asked him out to eat and that they would seriously spend the evening together because of course Maru is going to go even if he knows there’s no way it will end well.
So he’s glad he has no plans that Saturday. During the day he flails wildly about his apartment in anticipation with Mister at his heels, following him around all day until Koyama calls and asks him about his date. And then he promptly starts flailing at Koyama instead of at himself.
“Did he tell you?”
“No, stupid. I was standing in the hall when he told you. I saw the whole thing. If you wanted it to be a secret you should have gone somewhere less obvious. I think about half of Kis-my-ft2 saw you, too.”
Maru groans. “Oh, great.”
“So, what’s the deal?” Koyama inquires. “Do you like Pi, or something? I saw that way you got all antsy around him yesterday, so you shouldn’t try to deny it.”
Maru doesn’t even reply, he’s not sure what to say, really, but Koyama seems to understand anyway.
“I also heard about your drunk call from Ueda.”
Maru blinks, wonders when Koyama and Ueda ever interact, but then remembers where he works - JE is nothing if not a grapevine.
“Did you really do it?”
“Maybe.”
“What did you say?”
“Oh, thank god no one knows that,” Maru sighs with relief.
“What? What? What did you say?” Koyama exclaims but Maru simply replies, “I’m not telling you.”
Koyama whines some more and Maru can practically hear the pout in his voice until Maru threatens to hang up that he stops.
“Is there a reason for your call?” Maru asks.
“Not really,” Koyama replies cheerfully and when Maru makes an impatient noise hastily adds, “You should actually tell Pi. You could be surprised.”
Maru actually does hang up on him. Right now, the last thing he needs to hear about is the possibility of hope when he knows it’ll lead to an ultimate let down in the end.
By seven, Maru’s on the verge of a severe heart attack. When the doorbell rings and he finds Yamapi on the other side, his breath is caught in his throat and he can think of nothing except for how obviously bad he has it.
Yamapi walks inside and says, “Good evening.”
Maru blinks, stares at him as he removes his shoes. “Weren’t we going out?”
Yamapi shakes his head. “Change of plans.” He holds up a few grocery bags and leads the way into the kitchen after making a wrong turn to the bathroom. “I don’t really like to cook by myself, and I heard from Jin that you like cooking in general, and that you’re really good at making okonomiyaki. And I am in the mood for some okonomiyaki and homemade okonomiyaki by Nakamaru-kun is much better than going out.” Yamapi flashes Maru a smile before pulling ingredients out of the bags, pauses when he notices Mister running around his feet. His smile widens and he crouches down to pet Maru’s dog while Maru just gapes at him for awhile, trying to find his voice.
“You told Jin about tonight?” Maru exclaims eventually and wills his heart to stop leaping out of his chest just by watching the way Yamapi’s face lights up as he plays with Mister.
“Not exactly. Kind of. I was very secretive, don’t worry.” He pauses in scratching Mister behind the ear and looks up. “But…why don’t you want anyone to know? Are you…ashamed?”
Maru’s eyes widen and he shakes his head vigorously. “What? No! No, of course not! I-”
“Just kidding,” Yamapi cuts in singsongingly, letting Mister go and standing back up. “Come on,” he says, sifting through the bags and tossing a can of sauce at Maru who catches it at the last second. “Let’s start. I’m starving.”
“Is making me cook just a way to get back at my for messing up yesterday?” Maru asks as he starts pulling out pots and pans.
Yamapi smirks. “Maybe.”
“Well, at least you’re honest,” Maru replies with a grin, surprising himself by his candor. His smile drops and he quickly turns away, nervousness building up inside him again. He busies himself with chopping onions instead and nearly jumps out of his skin when Yamapi walks past him and says, “Have anything to drink, Nakamaru-kun?”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” he exclaims, berating himself for forgetting such a thing. “Yeah, help yourself to whatever is in the fridge.”
Yamapi nods and does as he’s told, grabbing two bottels of beer. He hands one to Maru and says, “Loosen up, Nakamaru-kun. I’m not going to bite you or something.”
“S-S-Sorry,” Maru stammers, taking the proffered drink. “I’m just-”
“Nervous?” Yamapi cuts in with a smile. “I know. I’m telling you that you don’t need to be.”
“It’s not as easy as you think,” Maru mutters to himself but promises Yamapi that he’ll try.
And he does. He really does. And it works, most of the time. He can laugh and talk with Yamapi like they’ve been friends for years. When it’s just simple banter like this, with topics ranging from the weather, to politics, to bandmates, to music, it’s okay. It’s more than okay, actually. Because he doesn’t stammer over every word and sounds like a pretty normal human being. Mister walks along at their feet, barking at them when he wants attention and Yamapi’s usually the first to bend down and pet him, and Maru thinks that maybe he can get out of this night alive.
But then Yamapi accidentally brushes his elbow along Maru’s arm - and Maru nearly drops a bag of flour - or Yamapi bumps hips with him as he maneuvers towards the sink - and Maru almost cuts off a finger - or Yamapi leans in close, so close, that Maru can smell the citrus of his shampoo as he reaches for a spatula - and Maru just about sets the whole kitchen on fire. Yamapi either doesn’t notice or ignores it all, but every time something of that sort happens, Maru’s heart starts beating so loud that he’s surprised Yamapi can’t hear it.
Around thirty minutes later, they manage to finish the actual meal, taking a little longer than usual because Maru kept dropping things and nearly dropped a few eggs over Yamapi’s head and spent the next ten minutes apologizing for it. Maru cleans up the kitchen and Yamapi helps even though Maru insisted he didn’t need to. But Yamapi just waves him off with a dish towel and starts scrubbing down the nearest surface, whistling what Maru recognizes as a NewS song under his breath. As if it is possible, it only makes Maru like him even more, and he spends the next few seconds just watching him clean before he realizes he’s probably being a creep and quickly turns away before he gets caught.
When they finally sit down to eat, Maru fidgets nervously in his seat because even though he’s proud of his okonomiyaki, having Yamapi eating it is different than anyone else. So he watches as Yamapi takes a bite and chews thoughtfully, his eyes closed.
When he seems to be done with that one piece, he opens his eyes and sighs in contentment, breathes, “This is so good, Nakamaru-kun,” and instantly reaches for more.
Maru lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and starts in on his own meal. Except, as luck would have it, Mister chooses that precise moment to jump at his leg and scares the hell out of Maru, causing him to jerk in his seat and send his whole plate of food crashing onto his lap.
“Are you okay?” Yamapi exclaims instantly, at his side in the next second and pulling Mister away from trying to lick food off Maru’s pants.
“I-I’m fine,” Maru says, though he doesn’t feel fine at all. On the contrary, he feels slightly horrified, and he hopes he doesn’t look it.
Except he obviously does because Yamapi says, “Are you sure? You don’t look that well.”
“J-Just a little startled, I guess,” Maru manages to say. He sets the plate back onto the table and groans at the sight of his pants. He gets up and grabs a towel, cleans off as much as he can before throwing the towel in the sink. He looks up at Yamapi and says, “Uhm, I’ll be right back.”
Yamapi nods and watches as Maru rushes out of the kitchen to his room to change into a new set of clothes. He’s muttering curses in his head as he does so, hating that something so stupid could have happened when everything was going so well. He takes as long as he can possibly can, feeling ridiculously embarrassed even then this time it wasn’t really his fault (and if he didn’t like Mister so much, he’s sure he’d be much more angry).
When he finally plucks up the courage to head back out, it’s almost ten minutes later and he has the outrageous thought that maybe Yamapi has left. But he finds the younger man sitting on the couch with Mister next to him.
Yamapi looks up instantly when Maru walks in awkwardly, smiles and says, “All better?”
Maru can’t help but smile at that, because thinking back on it now what just happened had been pretty funny. “Much,” he replies.
“I left you half of my okonomiyaki since yours got ruined,” Yamapi says.
Maru splutters in surprise. “You-You didn’t have to do that!” he exclaims, horrified.
“It’s okay,” Yamapi insists.
“But-”
“Don’t worry about it,” Yamapi cuts in again. “You have to eat, too, don’t you?”
Maru falls silent at that and Yamapi grins at him triumphantly. He sighs, feeling oddly exhausted even though the evening has barely started. He doesn’t know what to do now, either. This whole thing was Yamapi’s plan and Maru’s just following along like he has been for the past month - riding that rollercoaster of accidents that somehow, somehow led him to fall in deep over Yamapi.
The same Yamapi who is sitting on his couch, petting his dog, looking like he belongs there. The same Yamapi who is staring up at him with dark eyes that make his bones chill. The same Yamapi who surprises him by asking without preamble, “Why are you so nervous around me?”
Maru’s eyes go round and he can’t find his voice. Even if he did, he’s not sure what he would say anyway, so he keeps silent and stares.
Yamapi frowns, taking his silence the wrong way and says, “Do you not like me or something?”
Maru has to force himself from shouting out the truth. He clenches his eyes shut and thinks over his words before he says them, finally managing, “You know that’s not true.”
Yamapi laughs at that. “But you were the one who said to forget about that.”
Maru flushes at the recollection. “W-Well, obviously you didn’t.”
“You’re right. I haven’t,” Yamapi agrees and Maru groans, hides his face with a hand. “Actually,” he continues, and Maru peeks at him from between his fingers, sees Yamapi smile, “I’ve thought about it a lot.”
Maru’s hand drops. “R-Really? Why?”
Yamapi shrugs. “Mostly because it was funny,” he teases.
“No, it wasn’t,” Maru mumbles, heat rising in his cheeks.
“But. It also made me really happy,” Yamapi finishes, looking up to meet Maru’s gaze.
And when Maru finally looks back, with his heart hammering loudly in his ears, he once again finds he doesn’t know what to say. But this time Yamapi seems to understand that, smiling as he gets up and walks over to where Maru’s subconsciously backing up. A picture frame shakes just a little when Maru backs straight up against the wall, Yamapi right in front of him, reaching out to gently place his hands on his hips.
Yamapi smirks, his eyes dancing in mischief, and says, “If you want me to stop, now would probably be a good time to say something.”
Maru slowly smiles and says, “I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” surprising himself with how calm he sounds when inside his mind is nearly a blur from working so hard to keep up with everything that’s happening.
And as soon as those words are out of his mouth, Yamapi has closed the remaining space between them in a searing kiss. It’s like fireworks exploding in his veins, behind his eyes, in his heart, and his mind. He can barely think, so lets himself feel, the softness of Yamapi’s lips against his, the sleek press of his tongue, the curve of his mouth, the warmth of his breath along his jaw when they pull back for air.
“Uhm,” Maru says intelligently, blinking rapidly as his brain tries to regain thinking in complete sentences.
Yamapi laughs, a bright and clear sound that rings through the room and is quickly joined by Mister who barks as he jumps off the couch and runs towards them, instantly attacking Yamapi’s leg. Yamapi grins and bends down to scratch him behind the ears.
“Mister really likes you,” Maru says, smiling as he watches.
Yamapi looks up at him. “I’m glad,” he says, “but I’m more concerned about whether his owner does, too.”
Maru sits down next to him and says, “Do I need to make another drunk phone call to get it across? Shouldn’t it be your turn now?”
“Not until you say it properly, and soberly, first,” Yamapi returns cheekily.
“I’m not that great with the whole speaking thing, though,” Maru says lightly, remembering past events, and Yamapi grins in understanding. “Why don’t I just show you instead?”
And when Yamapi laughs and replies with a nod, Maru gathers his courage and shows him, leaning back in for another kiss.
by silver_rose88
Title: Crash and Burn
Pairing: Yamashita Tomohisa/Nakamaru Yuichi [NewS/KAT-TUN]
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sometimes Maru feels like his entire life consists of accident after accident, strapped forever onto a roller coaster ride he can’t control. But after Yamapi comes into his life, he thinks this might just be the one ride he doesn’t mind.
Notes: Thanks to L for helping with everything and listening to me bitch and whine and moan and thanks to P for the help and the lovely beta. I couldn’t have done this without you both. <3 And to encoded_panties, I’m glad I got you! This was quite fun to write and I really, really hope you enjoy it! <3
It starts with an accident, which Maru thinks is actually quite apt. Sometimes he feels like his entire life consists of accident after accident, strapped forever onto a roller coaster ride he can’t control.
He sneaks into NewS’ dressing room when he knows they aren’t there and puts shaving cream in with what he assumes is Koyama’s bag. They've been doing this for a few weeks - just silly pranks on each other - the usual cross-group battle. Koyama had started it on Shounen Club fliming last month and Maru couldn’t help but retaliate, and today he has a great plan he knows will work.
But, like everything else in Maru’s life, it fails, and it seems to fail in the worst way possible.
“Some idiot pranked Pi!” Jin is announcing to no one in particular, staring wide-eyed at his phone. “They put shaving cream in his bag and he nearly had a heart attack!”
Everyone ignores him except Maru, who practically chokes on his coffee and exclaims, “What?”
Thrilled that someone is playing attention to him, Jin turns to Maru and rambles, “He says it’s no one in his group who did it so he’s really confused. He hasn’t pranked anyone in a different group for a long time, so he doesn’t know who could have done it.”
“Didn’t you do it, Akanishi?” Kame comments dryly.
Jin looks aghast. “No. I would never prank Pi.”
Kame raises a brow and Jin amends, “Okay, so I would, but not like this.”
Kame continues looking skeptical and Jin puffs up in anger, ready to defend himself. Maru chooses this moment to slip out of the room unnoticed and rushes to NewS’ dressing room, feeling pale. How could he have made such a mistake? Especially one that involves Yamapi. Forget the fact that his attack on Koyama failed - right now, Maru is more worried about what Yamapi will say and think when he finds out the truth.
As luck would have it, Yamapi’s walking out of the room when Maru turns the corner. He’s glad because this way he doesn’t have to actually ask to talk to him or apologize in front of everyone. Yamapi notices him and smiles in greeting and Maru’s stomach squirms. Even though they are part of the same company and even though they have interacted a few, admittedly rare, times, Yamapi is, well, Yamapi, and Maru always gets unreasonably flustered around him.
So it only seems natural that he blurts out, “I’m sorry!” as Yamapi walks past him.
Yamapi stops in his tracks and Maru nearly smacks himself in the face, wincing slightly as he turns around. Yamapi just looks at him with bemusement so Maru rushes on, “T-The p-prank. That was me. But! I-I didn’t mean for it to happen to you!”
Yamapi just blinks and Maru continues, “It was supposed to be a prank for Koyama, but I accidentally put it in your bag. I’m really sorry, Yamashita-kun.” He bows his head apologetically, feeling pathetic as he waits anxiously for Yamapi’s response.
Of which he does not expect laughter, yet there Yamapi is, laughing with abandon, and Maru feels heat rising in his cheeks. When Yamapi finishes, Maru hesitantly looks up, feels slightly better when he sees the brightness in Yamapi’s eyes, the rare smile that’s tugging at his lips.
“It’s okay, Nakamaru-kun,” Yamapi says. “It was a good prank.”
Maru doesn’t really know what to say to this, so he only nods slowly. Yamapi seems to understand and grins even brighter, “When you think of something else to prank Koyama with, let me know and I’ll help, okay?” He winks and waves and walks away, leaving Maru a little bewildered and a lot flustered.
* * *
Maru’s sure he has the curse of always being the first one to any meeting or photo shoot or filming. And today is no exception. It’s a usual day full of magazine photo shoots and Maru arrives at the studio earlier than anyone. He’s there so early that Yamapi is still finishing up his own shoot, NewS having had the morning time-slot. Maru actually thinks of leaving and coming back when he’s sure Yamapi would be gone. Ever since what he termed "The Incident" Maru has been even more anxious around Yamapi. It’s like that stupid prank has caused a chain reaction because he is starting to see Yamapi everywhere. It’s like the world is constantly reminding him of what has happened. It’s like he’s being laughed at by some higher being every time Yamapi smiles at him and makes Maru flush to the tips of his ears.
And it happens again today - except this time he has no where else to go. The second one of the staff sees that he has arrived, she ushers him to change and then drags him away to hair and make-up. Now he has no choice but to lean carefully against a wall in the studio because he’s not allowed to sit lest the freshly pressed clothing wrinkles, and so he has to watch Yamapi.
Well, he doesn’t have to watch Yamapi, but his eyes always slide over to him anyway so he might as well just stare in his general direction. It’s only because he has nothing better to do and not because Yamapi looks really good in that dark suit they’ve got him in. Other than a few times on Shounen Club, Maru’s never seen Yamapi work this close before, and he can’t really help but be a bit entranced.
It doesn’t really help either when Yamapi happens to glance at Maru and smile, and subsequently make Maru stand up so straight he nearly knocks over the box of supplies by his feet. Yamapi just laughs and the photographer snaps shots like crazy and then he’s finished, nodding and bowing as he walks off the set. Maru’s still recovering from his earlier moment when Yamapi reaches him and greets him with a bright “Good morning!”
“G-G-Good morning!” Maru stammers back, just a bit louder than is really necessary.
Yamapi doesn’t seem to notice or mind, however, just nods at him and says, “Where’s the rest of your group?”
Maru shrugs. “Probably still sleeping,” he replies, hoping he sounds casually though his heart is beating madly.
Yamapi laughs, “I’m sure Jin still is.”
“Probably,” Maru agrees.
“Well, it’s obvious who the most dedicated member of KAT-TUN is then,” Yamapi says, starting directly at Maru who can instantly feel blood rush to his face.
He fumbles over his thoughts, trying to string something together but all that comes out is a tangled group of words. “Uhm, no, not me really just early am here coincidentally I is.”
When his mind catches up to his mouth, Maru groans, horrified, and hides his face in his hands. Yamapi just laughs and pats him on the shoulder and Maru has to stop himself from nearly jumping at the contact.
“Just one of those days, huh?” Yamapi says, making no other comment of Maru’s sudden inability to speak (like his group would do) and Maru kind of, maybe, possibly falls in love with him because of it.
Not trusting his voice to say anything anymore, Maru simply nods, even though he knows it’s not just “one of those days.” It’s Yamapi and everyday he sees the younger man that makes his insides turn and his mind melt.
Thankfully (or unfortunately, Maru’s not sure), the other members of KAT-TUN slowly start to arrive and Yamapi leaves him to greet them. Maru watches silently from where he stands, going over the previous few minutes and realizes just how pathetic he is, hating on himself for how tongue-tied he gets around Yamapi, how he doesn’t understand why.
* * *
Maru boos along with Ueda and Koki as Jin belts out a horrible rendition of Single Ladies at karaoke. It’s around three in the morning on the night of Maru’s birthday and contrary to popular belief, KAT-TUN actually do spend each other’s birthdays together (sometimes). After work that evening, they’d headed straight for the bars, drinking until Jin had dragged them to karaoke.
Maru’s having a pretty good time, even with Jin purposely singing off-key and Kame dancing drunkenly on the couches, and Junno’s puns growing worse with the more alcohol he consumes, and Koki’s clingy-ness as his own drinks start to catch up, and with Ueda’s sarcastic comments throughout the night. His bandmates are obnoxious and were it any other day he wouldn’t be here, but right now it’s okay, especially since it gets his mind off of a certain other thing. Person. Person-thing.
Maru’s sure he’s had too much to drink now because here he is thinking about what he told himself he wouldn’t think about. It’s becoming a little ridiculous, how much his thoughts run back to Yamapi whenever he has a spare moment. Even when he doesn’t have a spare moment, he’s thinking about the younger man.
He doesn’t get why, though. Other than the occasional story he hears about Yamapi from Jin, Maru doesn’t know him. Maru hardly speaks to him, and when he does, it’s usually just a jumble of sounds that somehow create a sentence (if he’s lucky). He still hasn’t gotten over last time. He just wishes he had someone to talk about this…this Yamapi-thing with. Half of his band is already out seeing as they’re pretty good (or best) friends with Yamapi, and even though Maru’s sure Junno wouldn’t tell (Maru can’t be completely certain about Ueda - especially when he’s drunk), he doesn’t want it to come out to the rest of the group because he knows they’ll mock him relentlessly if they ever found out.
So that leaves possibly talking to Massu or maybe Koyama, but that also has the even more dangerous fact that they regularly see Yamapi and, especially for Koyama who wears his heart on his sleeve, a secret of this caliber doesn’t seem likely to stay a secret for too long.
But in the end, the need to explain his strange fixation itches at him persistently until he gives in and scratches. Forgetting where he is, who he’s with, Maru just reaches for what he assumes is his phone off the center table, it feels like his phone, at any rate, and presses speed-dial to call Massu.
The second the phone connects, Maru exclaims, “Massu! I have to tell you something!”
There is a pause on the other end, then, “…Nakamaru-kun?”
Maru nods in response, thinking Massu’s voice sounds a little different than usual, but just blames the copious amounts of alcohol in his system and ignores it. “I have to tell you a secret,” he says, dropping his voice because it’s a secret and that’s just what people do when telling secrets.
“Are you ready?” Mar says and without for a response says, “I think I have a problem. A crush. A problem-crush. Thing.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yes,” he says, one again ignoring how Massu sounds less like Massu and a lot like Yamapi, and adds, “I don’t really know why.” He pauses. “Okay, well, I do, because he’s really nice and attractive and really nice and attractive.”
“He?” says the-Massu-who-doesn’t-sound-like-Massu.
Maru blinks and nods solemnly. “Yeah,” he affirms, but when Massu doesn’t inquire further, he lowers his voice still and says, “Want to know who? But you can’t tell anyone, okay?”
And, again, without waiting for an answer, Maru continues, “I think, maybe, possibly, probably, I like Yamashita-kun.”
There’s a moment of silence on the other end but Maru doesn’t seem to notice as he’s too busy rambling to himself. “Weird, right? But I don’t know, I just. Do. Which is confusing. Which is why I wanted to tell you. What do you think? But you can’t tell anyone. Especially not Koyama since he can’t keep a secret. And obviously not Yamashita-kun because he’s Yamashita-kun and, well, I’m me, and I’m not really looking for anything to come from this, not really. I think. Well, maybe I do because I do like him, but-”
“Nakamaru, what the fuck are you doing with my phone?” Jin exclaims, snatching said phone straight out of Maru’s hands and peering at the screen.
“What?” Maru shrieks. “Y-Your phone?”
Jijn doesn’t hear him, preoccupied with his phone and saying, “Pi? Is that you? What’re you doing? Nakamaru didn’t say anything weird, did he?”
While Jin contiunues talking to Yamapi who is most definitely not Massu, Maru starts to feel sick to his stomach because that…that was now supposed to happen. Yamapi was not supposed to know. And what the fuck did he just do?
“I’m never drinking again,” Maru mutters to himself as he rushes to the bathroom to throw up.
* * *
The only good thing that comes out of Maru’s unintentional confession is that, thankfully, Yamapi does not tell Jin. Of course, Jin doesn’t take this kindly and tries to wheedle it out of Maru who only smothers himself unsuccessfully with a pillow. Even more thankfully, Yamapi hasn’t directly asked Maru about it either. Maru’s not entirely sure what he’d do if Yamapi did. However, thinking about it makes him even more sick to his stomach so he tries instead to fill his thoughts with stupid, silly things like unicorns and cotton candy and butterflies and definitely not on the desperate hope that Yamapi could like him back.
He knows it won’t happen because Yamapi is Yamapi and Maru’s like is permanently doomed to failure. Even if he does manage to (soberly) confess to Yamapi, Yamapi will probably just laugh at him and walk away. He doesn’t expect anything more than that.
So his best course of action is to ignore Yamapi as much as possible. Which is quite easy seeing as how they don’t interact on a regular basis anyway.
But, of course, the Universe isn’t done interfering with Maru’s life and has quite different plans. As Maru leaves the Jimusho one day, he gets stopped by none other than the object of his affections who informs him with a hearty clap to the back, “For November’s Shounen Club I’m the guest. So I guess I’ll see you this coming Friday for the filming, Nakamaru-kun!”
And just as quickly as he comes, Yamapi waves goodbye and rushes out the doors ahead of him, leaving Maru standing transfixed in the hallway for a long time afterward.
When Friday rolls around, Maru contemplates faking ill - that he has caught Jin’s plague and can’t go into work so could they find someone else to MC for him. But after a few minutes of self-loathing, he finally drags himself out of bed because despite the embarrassment he’s sure to encounter today, work is more important and he can’t skip out on principle.
Maru does his best at hiding from everyone while filming - of course, this is a great feat since Shounen Club is a madhouse on its best day. But he hasn’t yet seen Yamapi so Maru thinks the day is going along quite well until Koyama tells - or practically begs - Maru to explain Yamapi’s medley performance to Yamapi himself.
“Why can’t you do it?” Maru demands.
And Koyama makes the lamest excuse ever and flees and Maru wonders if Koyama doesn’t know and did this on purpose. Grudgingly, he heads to the dance studio where Yamapi should be waiting to rehearse.
“Hi, Nakamaru-kun!” Yamapi greets him and Maru just makes friends with the floor with his eyes and gets straight to the point.
“Y-You’re doing a me-medley,” he explains. “The first song is Colorful, then Love Song, and lastly, Daite Senorita.”
Yamapi blinks. “I thought Love Song was first.”
“Uhm, no. I’m sure it’s second…” Maru says distractedly as just being in the same room with Yamapi is starting to freak him out. He still hasn’t looked up from the floor either, and Yamapi notices, frowning a little as he steps closer. Maru sees his feet move and tenses, backs away.
“You can look at me, you know,” Yamapi says, wounded, and when Maru only steps further away, asks, “Is this about-”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maru cuts in loudly. “I-I’ve completely forgotten about that. Just…Just completely forgotten. So…So you should too. Forget it, I mean.” And, realizing he’s rambling, quickly turns on his heel and rushes out of the room before Yamapi can’t say anything more.
The filming starts out smoothly and Maru actually focuses on work and not on Yamapi. And when Yamapi comes out as the guest, thankfully, Koyama does most of the talking, letting Maru concentrate on introducing the medley without messing up, going over the line in his head and ignoring the way he can feel Yamapi’s shoulder pressed against his.
When the camera pans to him, he recites his line, “Yamashita-kun will be singing a few of his songs for us today, so here is Yamashita-kun singing a special medley!” without any faults and sighs with relief when the camera turns to focus on Yamapi off on the stage.
But as Maru clearly has not been embarrassed enough lately, the music that starts playing does not correlate with the song Yamapi is singing and the dances the juniors are doing are obviously for the wrong song. And that’s when Maru realizes he told Yamapi the wrong order of the medley. By the time the director calls out to start over, Maru’s ready to run off set in mortification.
Koyama turns to him and says, “Didn’t you tell Pi what order it was?”
“I-I-I-” Maru starts, feeling so stupid for making such a mistake.
“Don’t be angry at Nakamaru-kun, Koyama,” Yamapi says, joining them. He meets Maru’s eyes and lies, “It was my fault. My mind was elsewhere.”
Koyama rolls his eyes, clearly having heard that line before. “Okay, well, do it right this time.”
Yamapi salutes and then grins at Maru who quickly averts his gaze. This time the medley goes through perfectly in one take and they wrap up the rest of the days’ filming in the next few hours. As everyone gets ready to leave, Maru hovers around Yamapi’s dressing room anxiously for the younger man to come out.
When he finally does, he stops in his tracks at finding Maru and offers a small smile. “Good work today,” he says with a teasing grin.
Even Maru can’t help but laugh at that. “I’m sorry about messing up the order. You didn’t have to take the blame.”
Yamapi shrugs. “No big deal.”
“But-” Maru insists.
“Well,” Yamapi cuts in, stepping up to him. “If you want to make it up to me, I do have a way.”
Maru blinks uncertainly but says nothing and Yamapi closes the space between them before he whispers, “Tomorrow night, have dinner with me.”
“W-What?” Maru exclaims, eyes widening.
Yamapi pulls back to smile. “Okay? I’ll mail you when and where later. See you tomorrow, Nakamaru-kun.”
* * *
Just like Yamapi said he would, he mails Maru the time and place the next morning. He’s not sure where Yamapi got his number from but is too busy just staring at the message in shock to really care. After ten minutes does it finally seem to click that this is really happening and that Yamapi actually asked him out to eat and that they would seriously spend the evening together because of course Maru is going to go even if he knows there’s no way it will end well.
So he’s glad he has no plans that Saturday. During the day he flails wildly about his apartment in anticipation with Mister at his heels, following him around all day until Koyama calls and asks him about his date. And then he promptly starts flailing at Koyama instead of at himself.
“Did he tell you?”
“No, stupid. I was standing in the hall when he told you. I saw the whole thing. If you wanted it to be a secret you should have gone somewhere less obvious. I think about half of Kis-my-ft2 saw you, too.”
Maru groans. “Oh, great.”
“So, what’s the deal?” Koyama inquires. “Do you like Pi, or something? I saw that way you got all antsy around him yesterday, so you shouldn’t try to deny it.”
Maru doesn’t even reply, he’s not sure what to say, really, but Koyama seems to understand anyway.
“I also heard about your drunk call from Ueda.”
Maru blinks, wonders when Koyama and Ueda ever interact, but then remembers where he works - JE is nothing if not a grapevine.
“Did you really do it?”
“Maybe.”
“What did you say?”
“Oh, thank god no one knows that,” Maru sighs with relief.
“What? What? What did you say?” Koyama exclaims but Maru simply replies, “I’m not telling you.”
Koyama whines some more and Maru can practically hear the pout in his voice until Maru threatens to hang up that he stops.
“Is there a reason for your call?” Maru asks.
“Not really,” Koyama replies cheerfully and when Maru makes an impatient noise hastily adds, “You should actually tell Pi. You could be surprised.”
Maru actually does hang up on him. Right now, the last thing he needs to hear about is the possibility of hope when he knows it’ll lead to an ultimate let down in the end.
By seven, Maru’s on the verge of a severe heart attack. When the doorbell rings and he finds Yamapi on the other side, his breath is caught in his throat and he can think of nothing except for how obviously bad he has it.
Yamapi walks inside and says, “Good evening.”
Maru blinks, stares at him as he removes his shoes. “Weren’t we going out?”
Yamapi shakes his head. “Change of plans.” He holds up a few grocery bags and leads the way into the kitchen after making a wrong turn to the bathroom. “I don’t really like to cook by myself, and I heard from Jin that you like cooking in general, and that you’re really good at making okonomiyaki. And I am in the mood for some okonomiyaki and homemade okonomiyaki by Nakamaru-kun is much better than going out.” Yamapi flashes Maru a smile before pulling ingredients out of the bags, pauses when he notices Mister running around his feet. His smile widens and he crouches down to pet Maru’s dog while Maru just gapes at him for awhile, trying to find his voice.
“You told Jin about tonight?” Maru exclaims eventually and wills his heart to stop leaping out of his chest just by watching the way Yamapi’s face lights up as he plays with Mister.
“Not exactly. Kind of. I was very secretive, don’t worry.” He pauses in scratching Mister behind the ear and looks up. “But…why don’t you want anyone to know? Are you…ashamed?”
Maru’s eyes widen and he shakes his head vigorously. “What? No! No, of course not! I-”
“Just kidding,” Yamapi cuts in singsongingly, letting Mister go and standing back up. “Come on,” he says, sifting through the bags and tossing a can of sauce at Maru who catches it at the last second. “Let’s start. I’m starving.”
“Is making me cook just a way to get back at my for messing up yesterday?” Maru asks as he starts pulling out pots and pans.
Yamapi smirks. “Maybe.”
“Well, at least you’re honest,” Maru replies with a grin, surprising himself by his candor. His smile drops and he quickly turns away, nervousness building up inside him again. He busies himself with chopping onions instead and nearly jumps out of his skin when Yamapi walks past him and says, “Have anything to drink, Nakamaru-kun?”
“Oh, I’m sorry!” he exclaims, berating himself for forgetting such a thing. “Yeah, help yourself to whatever is in the fridge.”
Yamapi nods and does as he’s told, grabbing two bottels of beer. He hands one to Maru and says, “Loosen up, Nakamaru-kun. I’m not going to bite you or something.”
“S-S-Sorry,” Maru stammers, taking the proffered drink. “I’m just-”
“Nervous?” Yamapi cuts in with a smile. “I know. I’m telling you that you don’t need to be.”
“It’s not as easy as you think,” Maru mutters to himself but promises Yamapi that he’ll try.
And he does. He really does. And it works, most of the time. He can laugh and talk with Yamapi like they’ve been friends for years. When it’s just simple banter like this, with topics ranging from the weather, to politics, to bandmates, to music, it’s okay. It’s more than okay, actually. Because he doesn’t stammer over every word and sounds like a pretty normal human being. Mister walks along at their feet, barking at them when he wants attention and Yamapi’s usually the first to bend down and pet him, and Maru thinks that maybe he can get out of this night alive.
But then Yamapi accidentally brushes his elbow along Maru’s arm - and Maru nearly drops a bag of flour - or Yamapi bumps hips with him as he maneuvers towards the sink - and Maru almost cuts off a finger - or Yamapi leans in close, so close, that Maru can smell the citrus of his shampoo as he reaches for a spatula - and Maru just about sets the whole kitchen on fire. Yamapi either doesn’t notice or ignores it all, but every time something of that sort happens, Maru’s heart starts beating so loud that he’s surprised Yamapi can’t hear it.
Around thirty minutes later, they manage to finish the actual meal, taking a little longer than usual because Maru kept dropping things and nearly dropped a few eggs over Yamapi’s head and spent the next ten minutes apologizing for it. Maru cleans up the kitchen and Yamapi helps even though Maru insisted he didn’t need to. But Yamapi just waves him off with a dish towel and starts scrubbing down the nearest surface, whistling what Maru recognizes as a NewS song under his breath. As if it is possible, it only makes Maru like him even more, and he spends the next few seconds just watching him clean before he realizes he’s probably being a creep and quickly turns away before he gets caught.
When they finally sit down to eat, Maru fidgets nervously in his seat because even though he’s proud of his okonomiyaki, having Yamapi eating it is different than anyone else. So he watches as Yamapi takes a bite and chews thoughtfully, his eyes closed.
When he seems to be done with that one piece, he opens his eyes and sighs in contentment, breathes, “This is so good, Nakamaru-kun,” and instantly reaches for more.
Maru lets out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and starts in on his own meal. Except, as luck would have it, Mister chooses that precise moment to jump at his leg and scares the hell out of Maru, causing him to jerk in his seat and send his whole plate of food crashing onto his lap.
“Are you okay?” Yamapi exclaims instantly, at his side in the next second and pulling Mister away from trying to lick food off Maru’s pants.
“I-I’m fine,” Maru says, though he doesn’t feel fine at all. On the contrary, he feels slightly horrified, and he hopes he doesn’t look it.
Except he obviously does because Yamapi says, “Are you sure? You don’t look that well.”
“J-Just a little startled, I guess,” Maru manages to say. He sets the plate back onto the table and groans at the sight of his pants. He gets up and grabs a towel, cleans off as much as he can before throwing the towel in the sink. He looks up at Yamapi and says, “Uhm, I’ll be right back.”
Yamapi nods and watches as Maru rushes out of the kitchen to his room to change into a new set of clothes. He’s muttering curses in his head as he does so, hating that something so stupid could have happened when everything was going so well. He takes as long as he can possibly can, feeling ridiculously embarrassed even then this time it wasn’t really his fault (and if he didn’t like Mister so much, he’s sure he’d be much more angry).
When he finally plucks up the courage to head back out, it’s almost ten minutes later and he has the outrageous thought that maybe Yamapi has left. But he finds the younger man sitting on the couch with Mister next to him.
Yamapi looks up instantly when Maru walks in awkwardly, smiles and says, “All better?”
Maru can’t help but smile at that, because thinking back on it now what just happened had been pretty funny. “Much,” he replies.
“I left you half of my okonomiyaki since yours got ruined,” Yamapi says.
Maru splutters in surprise. “You-You didn’t have to do that!” he exclaims, horrified.
“It’s okay,” Yamapi insists.
“But-”
“Don’t worry about it,” Yamapi cuts in again. “You have to eat, too, don’t you?”
Maru falls silent at that and Yamapi grins at him triumphantly. He sighs, feeling oddly exhausted even though the evening has barely started. He doesn’t know what to do now, either. This whole thing was Yamapi’s plan and Maru’s just following along like he has been for the past month - riding that rollercoaster of accidents that somehow, somehow led him to fall in deep over Yamapi.
The same Yamapi who is sitting on his couch, petting his dog, looking like he belongs there. The same Yamapi who is staring up at him with dark eyes that make his bones chill. The same Yamapi who surprises him by asking without preamble, “Why are you so nervous around me?”
Maru’s eyes go round and he can’t find his voice. Even if he did, he’s not sure what he would say anyway, so he keeps silent and stares.
Yamapi frowns, taking his silence the wrong way and says, “Do you not like me or something?”
Maru has to force himself from shouting out the truth. He clenches his eyes shut and thinks over his words before he says them, finally managing, “You know that’s not true.”
Yamapi laughs at that. “But you were the one who said to forget about that.”
Maru flushes at the recollection. “W-Well, obviously you didn’t.”
“You’re right. I haven’t,” Yamapi agrees and Maru groans, hides his face with a hand. “Actually,” he continues, and Maru peeks at him from between his fingers, sees Yamapi smile, “I’ve thought about it a lot.”
Maru’s hand drops. “R-Really? Why?”
Yamapi shrugs. “Mostly because it was funny,” he teases.
“No, it wasn’t,” Maru mumbles, heat rising in his cheeks.
“But. It also made me really happy,” Yamapi finishes, looking up to meet Maru’s gaze.
And when Maru finally looks back, with his heart hammering loudly in his ears, he once again finds he doesn’t know what to say. But this time Yamapi seems to understand that, smiling as he gets up and walks over to where Maru’s subconsciously backing up. A picture frame shakes just a little when Maru backs straight up against the wall, Yamapi right in front of him, reaching out to gently place his hands on his hips.
Yamapi smirks, his eyes dancing in mischief, and says, “If you want me to stop, now would probably be a good time to say something.”
Maru slowly smiles and says, “I’m sure that won’t be necessary,” surprising himself with how calm he sounds when inside his mind is nearly a blur from working so hard to keep up with everything that’s happening.
And as soon as those words are out of his mouth, Yamapi has closed the remaining space between them in a searing kiss. It’s like fireworks exploding in his veins, behind his eyes, in his heart, and his mind. He can barely think, so lets himself feel, the softness of Yamapi’s lips against his, the sleek press of his tongue, the curve of his mouth, the warmth of his breath along his jaw when they pull back for air.
“Uhm,” Maru says intelligently, blinking rapidly as his brain tries to regain thinking in complete sentences.
Yamapi laughs, a bright and clear sound that rings through the room and is quickly joined by Mister who barks as he jumps off the couch and runs towards them, instantly attacking Yamapi’s leg. Yamapi grins and bends down to scratch him behind the ears.
“Mister really likes you,” Maru says, smiling as he watches.
Yamapi looks up at him. “I’m glad,” he says, “but I’m more concerned about whether his owner does, too.”
Maru sits down next to him and says, “Do I need to make another drunk phone call to get it across? Shouldn’t it be your turn now?”
“Not until you say it properly, and soberly, first,” Yamapi returns cheekily.
“I’m not that great with the whole speaking thing, though,” Maru says lightly, remembering past events, and Yamapi grins in understanding. “Why don’t I just show you instead?”
And when Yamapi laughs and replies with a nod, Maru gathers his courage and shows him, leaning back in for another kiss.