sixty-three million, one hundred and fifteen thousand and two hundred seconds
sixty-three million, one hundred and fifteen thousand and two hundred seconds
lu han/minseok, r, general
two years is a long time, and lu han has never been good at waiting. for youniqorn, happy birthday ♥
Departure, Lu Han realises, is only the beginning.
Minseok enters the army on a quiet day, the date not publicized - he’d wanted to enlist quietly. Minseok hadn’t seen the point of letting some of their still-fans to send him off with fanfare and cheers and maybe tears, then disappearing from the public eye for two whole years. They weren’t technically celebrities anymore, anyway, and Minseok has never been one for appropriated limelight.
There’s only Kris, Zitao, Lu Han, Kyungsoo and Hyunkyun there; the rest have things on, and they’d held a party for Minseok yesterday night, all twelve of them, just like the old times. Minseok had almost gotten drunk, but he hadn't, in the end. It’d hit Lu Han in his drunkenness yesterday, out of the blue, that this is one of the things he likes best about Minseok, that he is so reliable, that he makes it so easy for Lu Han to hand the reins over.
The rest say their goodbyes; Minseok gets tight hugs and a teary one from Zitao, whose hair he ruffles amusedly. Lu Han thinks he’s going to cry himself, but he doesn’t know why. He hadn’t cried at most of their award ceremonies, not at their first concert, not at the meeting for their last, but then he remembers crying at that one time they surprised him with a birthday hidden camera and maybe it’s the exact same thing, really.
It’s Lu Han’s turn, now, but Minseok pulls him in without a word like he knows Lu Han doesn’t know what to say. He really doesn’t, so he just swallows and hides his head a little in the nape of Minseok’s neck, and holds still for a while. Minseok can probably feel him tense, something he’s never been able to hide when he’s sad. Minseok squeezes Lu Han in the side, a squeeze that tickles a little, but reassuringly so.
When Minseok pulls away, his eyes are starkly dry in comparison to Lu Han’s, but he’d expected that. He gives Lu Han a smile, an amused one like he’d known, somehow, that Lu Han was on the verge of crying even though they’ve gone through conversations about this for the last month, both cried about it and then reassured each other, held each others’ hands in bed at night, Lu Han staring up at the ceiling, made slow, romantic love and fast needy sex to make up for the two years ahead. Minseok slips a hand round the base of Lu Han’s neck and presses his lips to the corner of Lu Han’s mouth - a chaste, small kiss that would have had Lu Han whining and chasing his mouth usually, but this time it’s enough; almost too much.
Lu Han watches as Minseok pulls back and gives him a smile, and Lu Han lets his hands dangle limply by his side as Minseok goes in the gate. Most of them wave; Kris gives Lu Han a one-armed hug in comfort, but Lu Han just watches as Minseok disappears round the corner.
---
It’s not so bad, maybe, for the first two weeks. Lu Han buries himself in producing; sleeps over in the studio because the couch there really is only enough for one person, ensures the music is way too loud in his headphones so it blasts over everything.
“Did you eat,” is the first thing Minseok says when he calls him in the first week.
“I ate,” Lu Han says, ignoring the growl in his stomach.
“Go eat,” Minseok says, and Lu Han obediently puts his breakfast bun in his mouth.
“I am eating,” he says around a mouthful of bread to prove it.
“Okay,” Minseok says, and Lu Han smiles, even though they’ve barely said five words to each other.
“Are you holding up okay,” Lu Han asks.
“Yeah,” Minseok chuckles, like he should be the one asking that question. “I’m cool, the people in my platoon are nice.”
“Good.”
“You?”
“What about me?”
“How are you holding up.....” Lu Han can hear Minseok rolling his eyes.
“I didn’t even notice you were gone, really.”
Minseok laughs, deep and sincere, and it’s a beat before a little sigh crackles through the line. “I miss you.”
Lu Han feels the little sentence punch him in the face - he hadn’t expected it, yet it seems dumb of him now, in retrospect, to assume that Minseok wouldn’t say this - Minseok is never reticent with his feelings. He’s not sure what to say. Minseok laughs again.
“You are such a dumbass,” Minseok tells him, “I’m going to punch you in the face.”
“Not if I punch you first,” Lu Han quips, but he’s burning to tell Minseok that he misses him too. So much it hurts.
They end the phone call with more quibbling, but Lu Han thinks Minseok understands.
---
The second month is pretty bad. Lu Han runs out of projects to bury himself in, and Yixing can only be dragged out of his house and away from his girlfriend so many times in a week. Kris isn’t even in Korea, and Zitao and Jongdae are paltry consolers. He’s getting to stuff the duvet in his mouth late at night a lot more of the time, and even coming to dread the phone calls Minseok makes, because the desire for physical contact, something - anything more than just his voice, is worse than hearing Minseok.
Humans are touchy creatures, but Lu Han wonders if all this is normal.
----
The first year mark is the worst. Minseok gets a break for Chuseok and the kiss Lu Han gets when Minseok bounds out of the camp, smiling fit to burst nearly breaks him, but he’s not quite sure why. They drive down to Minseok’s parents’ for the night, touching and kissing in as many places as they can in public, but at night after dinner in Minseok’s old room, squished together on his old single bed, Lu Han is taken with a sudden urge to not fuck, not make love, just touch in all the intimate places, kiss, feel Minseok against him. He doesn’t know why, but takes Minseok’s hand in his and kisses him, slowly, like they have all the time in the world, even though his heart is racing and his mind is tripping over itself. Minseok complies, even as his pants are off and his cock is flush against Lu Han’s thigh.
They eventually do fuck, Minseok kissing the inside of Lu Han’s knee as he comes undone inside him, and they fall asleep with their limbs wrapped around each other. It feels great, but when Lu Han watches Minseok enter camp again he realises why he’d had that sudden urge.
----
Two months after the first year, when the memory of Minseok’s skin against his, the feel of Minseok’s cheek flush against the inside of his thigh, the graze of Minseok’s finger against his balls, fades, it gets better. Lu Han starts looking forward to the calls again, listen to Minseok ask about his day, tease him a little, maybe jerk off after. It’s tempting to let himself indulge in the ten months after, but Lu Han tells himself to be patient. Ten months is a long enough time to lose sight of the things you’re waiting for, enough for disappointment to fall in. He’s never been good at the waiting game.
---
Two months before is nearly the best part. Minseok’s pumped too, he can tell, and the calls are less hushed, less resigned; more excited, more hopeful. Minseok ends them with playful jibes a lot more than a quiet I miss you. It’s been too long, but even imagining the end of the waiting is sweet enough to bring a smile to Lu Han’s face. It’s okay to go without bugging Yixing or Kris for a week. It’s okay to feel the emptiness next to him in bed.
---
Lu Han’s heart is strangely calm when Minseok steps out of camp, Kris and Yixing and Zitao and Jongdae next to him, so calm that one wouldn’t have suspected it’d been two years. The smile on Minseok’s face is so bright; Lu Han can see the sharp glint of his canines, and he gets a feeling that this smile is meant only for him - at least, the first second of it.
“Hey,” is the first word Minseok says to him after giving the rest of them hugs, pausing a little to drink in Lu Han’s features. Lu Han laughs.
“Hey.”
Minseok gives him a hug, a short one just like the ones he’d given the rest of them, and pulls away to break into friendly chatter with Yixing and Jongdae, but it’s enough for Lu Han. The rest can wait for the days to come.
lu han/minseok, r, general
two years is a long time, and lu han has never been good at waiting. for youniqorn, happy birthday ♥
Departure, Lu Han realises, is only the beginning.
Minseok enters the army on a quiet day, the date not publicized - he’d wanted to enlist quietly. Minseok hadn’t seen the point of letting some of their still-fans to send him off with fanfare and cheers and maybe tears, then disappearing from the public eye for two whole years. They weren’t technically celebrities anymore, anyway, and Minseok has never been one for appropriated limelight.
There’s only Kris, Zitao, Lu Han, Kyungsoo and Hyunkyun there; the rest have things on, and they’d held a party for Minseok yesterday night, all twelve of them, just like the old times. Minseok had almost gotten drunk, but he hadn't, in the end. It’d hit Lu Han in his drunkenness yesterday, out of the blue, that this is one of the things he likes best about Minseok, that he is so reliable, that he makes it so easy for Lu Han to hand the reins over.
The rest say their goodbyes; Minseok gets tight hugs and a teary one from Zitao, whose hair he ruffles amusedly. Lu Han thinks he’s going to cry himself, but he doesn’t know why. He hadn’t cried at most of their award ceremonies, not at their first concert, not at the meeting for their last, but then he remembers crying at that one time they surprised him with a birthday hidden camera and maybe it’s the exact same thing, really.
It’s Lu Han’s turn, now, but Minseok pulls him in without a word like he knows Lu Han doesn’t know what to say. He really doesn’t, so he just swallows and hides his head a little in the nape of Minseok’s neck, and holds still for a while. Minseok can probably feel him tense, something he’s never been able to hide when he’s sad. Minseok squeezes Lu Han in the side, a squeeze that tickles a little, but reassuringly so.
When Minseok pulls away, his eyes are starkly dry in comparison to Lu Han’s, but he’d expected that. He gives Lu Han a smile, an amused one like he’d known, somehow, that Lu Han was on the verge of crying even though they’ve gone through conversations about this for the last month, both cried about it and then reassured each other, held each others’ hands in bed at night, Lu Han staring up at the ceiling, made slow, romantic love and fast needy sex to make up for the two years ahead. Minseok slips a hand round the base of Lu Han’s neck and presses his lips to the corner of Lu Han’s mouth - a chaste, small kiss that would have had Lu Han whining and chasing his mouth usually, but this time it’s enough; almost too much.
Lu Han watches as Minseok pulls back and gives him a smile, and Lu Han lets his hands dangle limply by his side as Minseok goes in the gate. Most of them wave; Kris gives Lu Han a one-armed hug in comfort, but Lu Han just watches as Minseok disappears round the corner.
---
It’s not so bad, maybe, for the first two weeks. Lu Han buries himself in producing; sleeps over in the studio because the couch there really is only enough for one person, ensures the music is way too loud in his headphones so it blasts over everything.
“Did you eat,” is the first thing Minseok says when he calls him in the first week.
“I ate,” Lu Han says, ignoring the growl in his stomach.
“Go eat,” Minseok says, and Lu Han obediently puts his breakfast bun in his mouth.
“I am eating,” he says around a mouthful of bread to prove it.
“Okay,” Minseok says, and Lu Han smiles, even though they’ve barely said five words to each other.
“Are you holding up okay,” Lu Han asks.
“Yeah,” Minseok chuckles, like he should be the one asking that question. “I’m cool, the people in my platoon are nice.”
“Good.”
“You?”
“What about me?”
“How are you holding up.....” Lu Han can hear Minseok rolling his eyes.
“I didn’t even notice you were gone, really.”
Minseok laughs, deep and sincere, and it’s a beat before a little sigh crackles through the line. “I miss you.”
Lu Han feels the little sentence punch him in the face - he hadn’t expected it, yet it seems dumb of him now, in retrospect, to assume that Minseok wouldn’t say this - Minseok is never reticent with his feelings. He’s not sure what to say. Minseok laughs again.
“You are such a dumbass,” Minseok tells him, “I’m going to punch you in the face.”
“Not if I punch you first,” Lu Han quips, but he’s burning to tell Minseok that he misses him too. So much it hurts.
They end the phone call with more quibbling, but Lu Han thinks Minseok understands.
---
The second month is pretty bad. Lu Han runs out of projects to bury himself in, and Yixing can only be dragged out of his house and away from his girlfriend so many times in a week. Kris isn’t even in Korea, and Zitao and Jongdae are paltry consolers. He’s getting to stuff the duvet in his mouth late at night a lot more of the time, and even coming to dread the phone calls Minseok makes, because the desire for physical contact, something - anything more than just his voice, is worse than hearing Minseok.
Humans are touchy creatures, but Lu Han wonders if all this is normal.
----
The first year mark is the worst. Minseok gets a break for Chuseok and the kiss Lu Han gets when Minseok bounds out of the camp, smiling fit to burst nearly breaks him, but he’s not quite sure why. They drive down to Minseok’s parents’ for the night, touching and kissing in as many places as they can in public, but at night after dinner in Minseok’s old room, squished together on his old single bed, Lu Han is taken with a sudden urge to not fuck, not make love, just touch in all the intimate places, kiss, feel Minseok against him. He doesn’t know why, but takes Minseok’s hand in his and kisses him, slowly, like they have all the time in the world, even though his heart is racing and his mind is tripping over itself. Minseok complies, even as his pants are off and his cock is flush against Lu Han’s thigh.
They eventually do fuck, Minseok kissing the inside of Lu Han’s knee as he comes undone inside him, and they fall asleep with their limbs wrapped around each other. It feels great, but when Lu Han watches Minseok enter camp again he realises why he’d had that sudden urge.
----
Two months after the first year, when the memory of Minseok’s skin against his, the feel of Minseok’s cheek flush against the inside of his thigh, the graze of Minseok’s finger against his balls, fades, it gets better. Lu Han starts looking forward to the calls again, listen to Minseok ask about his day, tease him a little, maybe jerk off after. It’s tempting to let himself indulge in the ten months after, but Lu Han tells himself to be patient. Ten months is a long enough time to lose sight of the things you’re waiting for, enough for disappointment to fall in. He’s never been good at the waiting game.
---
Two months before is nearly the best part. Minseok’s pumped too, he can tell, and the calls are less hushed, less resigned; more excited, more hopeful. Minseok ends them with playful jibes a lot more than a quiet I miss you. It’s been too long, but even imagining the end of the waiting is sweet enough to bring a smile to Lu Han’s face. It’s okay to go without bugging Yixing or Kris for a week. It’s okay to feel the emptiness next to him in bed.
---
Lu Han’s heart is strangely calm when Minseok steps out of camp, Kris and Yixing and Zitao and Jongdae next to him, so calm that one wouldn’t have suspected it’d been two years. The smile on Minseok’s face is so bright; Lu Han can see the sharp glint of his canines, and he gets a feeling that this smile is meant only for him - at least, the first second of it.
“Hey,” is the first word Minseok says to him after giving the rest of them hugs, pausing a little to drink in Lu Han’s features. Lu Han laughs.
“Hey.”
Minseok gives him a hug, a short one just like the ones he’d given the rest of them, and pulls away to break into friendly chatter with Yixing and Jongdae, but it’s enough for Lu Han. The rest can wait for the days to come.