Remix for littlealex

[jentremix_mod]

Title: Der Traum des Oenghus (remix of "Touch the Heart")
Rating: PG-13
Group/Pairing: Ohno/Aiba
Warnings: Not happy. Creepy, disconcerting, all of the above.
Notes: I kinda took your story and truly wrote it "the way I would write it", so I apologize in advance, especially if you're never able to look at your story the same way again...XD;
Extra Notes: Much thanks to my helpful beta~
Link to Original Story: Here!
Link to Original Writer: littlealex with writing journal sleeptotwelve

It had been in all the papers.

Big huge print. All across the top.

After all, it was the fourth time in the last two months. The television stations were all alight with it. It was on everyone's lips, hushed whispers of "did you know...?" in otherwise silent rooms and otherwise busy street corners.

And why yes, Ohno did know. He knew quite well that well-known celebrities were being found sliced-and-diced in hotel rooms across the metro. He knew quite well that people he'd talked with only weeks before were now laying in pieces in the city morgue. And why yes, he certainly did know the streets weren't as safe as they used to be, but no, he could find a cab on his own, thank you.

Yes. Yes, he was shaken up. Who wouldn't be? Yet maybe it was the fact that none of the deaths so far had been too close to home that he wasn't letting it get to his head like all too many of his colleagues and staff.

Or maybe it was just his personality. He didn't know. It wasn't like this sort of thing happened all the time so he could, you know, gauge how he handled mass strings of murders going on in his general vicinity. Maybe he just didn't let this kind of stuff get to him.

Jun had read an article about the last one aloud in the dressing room the other day. He seemed to be the one taking it the hardest: deep bags under his eyes, overly jumpy, paranoid to an almost schizophrenic degree. And he supposed that he can understand a bit, as one of the victims was Sato Megumi, someone Jun had probably worked with closer than any of them had (he'd heard that Tsubasa took that one pretty hard as well), but even so, it was unhealthy the way Jun studied each and every article or story or newscast. It was ruining him. They could all see it, but nobody wanted to say anything to him.

Ohno, however... Ohno, on the outside at least, seemed to be taking everything fairly in stride. Not letting it get to his head. Not letting himself go crazy about it. Because really, what good would that do? Absolutely nothing, he told himself. Absolutely nothing besides cause him more grief than necessary.

And so he didn't let himself get that shaken up. And he certainly didn't read or watch more about it than he had to.

He kept up with the band activities, not letting himself slack. Always going in prepared. Trying to get as much sleep as possible. He was their leader, wasn't he? If he couldn't keep it together, he knew none of them would.

And it was for just that reason that he was heading in to the studio today. He needed to study. He needed to go over the rough scripts for Shiyagare as he hadn't quite gotten the new format down, and it was throwing him just slightly off his normal groove. Normally, he'd be perfectly fine doing such in his apartment, but he was currently acquiring new residents upstairs, and they weren't being the least bit quiet in the moving in of their new furniture. Was throwing off his concentration something awful. And so he found himself perusing the halls of the studio and looking for a quiet little room he could disappear into for an hour or two and really get a chance to look over his lines.

His best bet at the moment was the storage closet on the second floor. Considering all the janitors would have gone home by this time, he knew there'd be no one in it, and it was slightly larger than the one on the first floor, so he could easily drag a chair in there and not have to get creative with the tubs of cleaning solution. For this reason, he began heading in that direction first, though checking off other viable options in his head, just in case the closet happened to be locked, as it sometimes was.

He was really in no rush though, so he walked leisurely along, opting for the stairs instead of the elevator, shoes making tiny clicking noises as they struck the precarious border between the tile and the metal grip securely fastened to the edge of each step. There weren't too many people left, as not only was it a bit later, it was most peoples' dinnertime, and even if they had to return for another shoot or meeting later, they would be out grabbing a bite to eat at the moment.

Another click. His free hand hovered over the handrail without actually touching it, the other one gripping the strap of his bag, clunking against his leg with each step. Reaching the halfway point up the stairs, he followed the momentary plateau as it curved around and started up the second portion.

There was the sound of footsteps above him.

He looked up.

At first nothing. Then Aiba walked quickly into view, making to go down the steps Ohno was currently ascending.

They both stopped.

Ohno blinked, the only sign that he was a bit startled, then started to bring his hand up for a small wave, a brief salutation, a momentary inquiry into what the younger man was doing here. Except that he didn't. His voice stuck in his throat and his fingers stayed firmly clenching his bag strap.

Aiba was looking at him, looking through him, eyes wide and an almost crazed expression on his face. Ohno's own eyes narrowed as the silence lingered a second.

And then all of a sudden it was gone. Aiba's eyes lit up, mouth stretched into his familiar grin as his hand shook in a hurried wave. The usually boisterous man took the steps two at a time until he reached the one Ohno was on, arms perched to his sides as if he was about to embark on some kind of parade march.

Ohno felt his heart rate return to normal, half-surprised to find that it had changed at all. Aiba seemed perfectly normal now, nothing different - same ridiculous mannerisms and almost over-bearing happiness.

So why hadn't the stone in his gut disappeared yet?

He brought one side of his mouth up in a little smile as he turned to face the other man.

"Leader's certainly here late tonight!"

"I could say the same thing about you. Photo-shoot?"

Aiba brought his hands to the side of his face, index fingers pointing out like two little sets of horns. "'tsa secret."

It was ridiculous and goofy, like many of the things Aiba did.

Ohno brought a hand up to scratch his nose. "Sounds riveting."

It was calm and unassuming, like many of the things Ohno did.

His stomach lurched unpleasantly.

Aiba glanced around for a second. Ohno couldn't tell if he was spacing off or actually looking for something in particular, but either way, the younger man suddenly snapped out of it and cocked his head to the side with a rather unsettling grin.

"You super busy?"

"Right now?"

An overzealous nod.

"Well, I was just here to go over some lines, I didn't actually have anything sch-"

"Come have dinner with me!" Aiba's grip was around his wrist, the smile he normally found sweet and calming now boring into him with an almost forced innocence.

"Right now?" He felt like a broken record.

"I need someone to eat with me, c'mon. I know a good Chinese place just a few streets down."

Ohno didn't want to go. But not because his scripts were that dire.

No, thanks.

"Ok."

Aiba's grip on his wrist seemed to tighten for a second, his own grip on the strap of his bag echoing it.

And then the grip was gone.

"Yaay~! Dinner with Leader!" The younger man's hands were in the air, huge grin stretched across his face. And then he was pulling him down the stairs the way he'd just come, stray lock of hair sweeping across his eyes and fingers interlocked in his own.

--------------

"Leader, did you know..."

Ohno looked up at the words, hands folded a bit awkwardly in his lap as his eyes scanned their environs. The place was nice enough, to be sure, but had this weird, almost claustrophobic feeling to it. Brilliantly detailed tapestries lined the walls, juxtaposed erratically by the red carpet and heavy tablecloths. The strong smell of some kind of incense burning somewhere wasn't helping anything either.

Aiba turned away from him even while in the middle of his sentence, stopping a rather burly-looking waiter that was happening by with a cart of assorted foods. He pondered for a few moments before pulling three plates off and setting them on the table at various locations in front of himself, tongue poking out to slide across his bottom lip.

Ohno felt his stomach gurgle, not enjoying how strangely organic the clear, sticky globs appeared, or how they buoyed in the center of the mini plates like some kind of larvae.

"Did you know that the word 'dim sum' means 'touch the heart'?"

Aiba was twirling his fingers over his recently acquired plates, as if unsure which he should start on. He paused altogether though, when he noticed that another cart was nearing them with a whole assortment of other dishes.

"Really?" Ohno cocked an eyebrow up uncertainly, a tiny shake in his voice.

Next to him, the earlier waiter stopped his cart, glaring down as if forcing him to take a plate. Ohno glanced up, but then immediately back down, head sinking into his shoulders. He jerked his hand out to take one of the shrimp dumplings, placing it in front of him as the hot steam rose up into his face.

He looked back across the table to find that Aiba'd now stopped the other cart, helping himself to various plates of worm-like noodles and slick, white globules, eying them all hungrily. At Ohno's inquiry, he turned his gaze back to the older man, the hungry look remaining.

Ohno swallowed hard.

"Yeah." There was a loud slurp, and the white globule was gone, Aiba's lips curling around it as he began mashing away. "I think it comes from the fact that everything comes in such small portions." A squishing noise. Soy sauce was dribbling down his chin, squeezing out between his teeth and lips, one side of his mouth tilting upwards in an unsettling smile. "Or that they're so delicious, the feeling goes straight to your heart."

Ohno's eyes were focused on the droplet of sauce as it works its way down his chin, gathering at the bottom before a movement of the other's head sent it to the tablecloth below. It was something he might have found childishly endearing before. Right now, though, it just sent another wave of nausea through his stomach.

He jerked his gaze away and back to the dumpling still sitting complacently on his own plate. "I think you're just making that part up." He let out a nervous laugh, lips curved into a forced smile that dropped almost as soon as it was formed.

And Aiba giggled. A tiny little flutter that started in his throat and worked its way out until he was practically rolling in his chair, body cocked sideways and a hand to his chest. Once it had finally calmed a bit, that same hand moved to search half-blindly through his teary eyes until he'd procured another one of the sticky blobs. He leaned forward heavily on the table, slurping it with a wet suck before tilting his head to the side with a smile that practically stopped Ohno's heart.

"Leader, you're so smart."

He elongated the last word with an almost predatory swipe of his tongue.

Ohno stuffed his shrimp dumpling into his mouth, not even caring that it was still a bit hot, sending off tiny little pricks of pain in his mouth. His eyes bored down into the deep red of the tablecloth.

Aiba settled back in his chair, a few small laughs still causing his shoulders to shake as he began raking back over the food. Which apparently wasn't enough for him yet, as he ended up calling a few more carts over to add to the already crowded gathering of plates.

The smells were slowly becoming stifling.

Ohno wished he could excuse himself to the bathroom just to get away for a moment, but not only was he suddenly a bit fearful of what the younger man would say, he wasn't sure he wanted to go to the bathroom of this place.

He glanced up at the food as it continued to increase, keeping his eyes just shy of Aiba himself.

"Leader, did you know..."

A sharp jab interrupted his stare. Aiba was snatching something yellow and orange from one of the plates near the center, chopsticks cutting across his eyes and almost causing him to jump back slightly.

He warily turned his eyes up towards his dinner partner, watching as the bit of pork was put into his mouth, teeth tearing into it viciously.

"Did you know that in some places in the world, it's not called 'dim sum', it's called 'yum cha'?"

Ohno was staring now. Staring at the other's mouth. There were tiny pops as the younger man's teeth ground down into the meat, grease squeezing past his teeth with every repeated chomp.

He shook his head, heart beating a bit faster.

"Yamcha? Like in Dragon Ball?"

He followed it with another nervous laugh, turning his eyes away and letting his vision travel around the rest of the room.

Aiba stopped chewing, gaze fixed on the other man. And he continued to stare until Ohno finally returned it.

It wasn’t a friendly stare.

"No, yum cha."

Ohno's mouth had become very dry.

"Yum'?"

He wrenched his eyes away, quickly busying himself with something else, anything else. He grabbed some noodles from the left-side of the table, stuffing them in his mouth without caring what they were or how they tasted.

He'd barely chewed before he swallowed them, almost gagging as some of the noodles got caught in his throat. In another attempt to hide his discomfort, he let out an awkward laugh.

"I guess that makes sense. It is pretty 'yum'. And you do drink tea with it."

He was afraid he'd get that glare again, but this time, Aiba simply laughed. It sounded harsh and grating, completely different from the uplifting, cheery voice that usually came out of him.

The younger man swallowed what he had in his mouth. "No, silly. "Yum' is a Chinese word for 'drink'!"

For just a second, Ohno was legitimately intrigued as to where Aiba was coming up with all this information. "So it means 'drink tea'? That makes even less sense than 'touch the heart'." He cocked his head to the side, having finally gotten the rest of the noodles down.

Aiba picked up his glass of tea, bringing to his mouth almost quaintly and taking a sip. He placed it back on the table, running his finger around the rim with an amused smile, lifting his head up just enough to make eye contact with his dinner partner.

"Actually, it refers to the event of eating dim sum foods while drinking tea."

They held the stare for a few moments more until Ohno felt a sharp chill run down his back. He picked up his own tea, until now untouched, and ended up gulping down half of it in one go.

He sputtered slightly. "That's..."

The younger man was still watching him, eyes intense.

"...interesting, Aiba."

Aiba himself just let the side of his mouth curl upwards in a little smile.

And Ohno abruptly stood up. Excusing himself to the bathroom, he walked stiffly towards the back of the restaurant, shoving the door open and sliding quickly inside.

He just stood there for a second, back against the door, letting himself breathe.

It was a one-person bathroom, and for that he was glad. He flipped the lock on the door before walking over to the sink and leaning over it, hands gripping the porcelain and holding his upper body aloft.

What was he doing?

What was happening?

He took another deep breath, staring at himself in the mirror. He hadn't noticed before, but he wasn't looking in the best of shape himself. His eyes looked tired, dark circles of their own in the process of forming beneath them. His hair didn't exactly look the best, a bit unkempt, ragged on the sides.

Maybe he was making something out of nothing.

Maybe this whole thing was getting to him more than he thought.

He hadn't been sleeping the best lately, but he'd attributed it to growing stress from some of the recent additions to his schedule. But maybe it really was this whole situation getting to him. Maybe he was seeing phantoms when he should be seeing friends.

He let himself sigh, turning his gaze from the mirror to the sink and staring down into the drain.

Sure, Aiba was acting a little different than normal. But wasn't he too? Weren't they all? They were all under a lot of stress; they were all uppity, jumpy, warily looking around corners.

And that wasn't even taking into account any other little things that could have happened to Aiba that day or the day before. Perhaps he hadn't had the best shoot, perhaps he'd gotten into a fight with a friend or his family. There were any number of reasons why he could be acting a little different. A little off.

Plus, part of it could be his own perceptions. He was taking everything differently. He was over-analyzing stupid things he never would have before, all because his nerves were a little on-edge.

The combination was apparently disastrous. He had to stop doing this or he really was going to go crazy.

Another sigh. He closed his eyes, letting the slight chill of the bathroom seep under the fabric of his t-shirt. That's right. He was calm. He was cool. He was everything everybody had come to expect and associate with him.

He gave the sink a little pat with his hand and pushed himself back up and away, running a hand through his hair before returning to the door and unlocking it with a little flick. Letting himself take one more deep breath, he shuffled back out into the restaurant, making his way to the table where Aiba was sitting, contently chewing away at some other strange-looking food item.

He sat with a plop.

The food had increased enormously. Suddenly, there were plates practically covering the table, some of them empty and some of them occupied. There were steamed vegetables, rice porridge, pork buns, mango pancakes, all kinds of things, and for once Ohno actually felt his stomach growl a bit. He wasn't sure if it was because he'd calmed himself down or if the food actually just was tastier-looking, but either way, he looked forward to digging in.

Aiba looked up with an innocent smile and a little wave upon his return, half an egg poking out the side of his mouth, and Ohno returned the smile, this time, pushing away all his conceptions and insecurities.

He was sitting here eating delicious Chinese food with a bandmate. A friend.

He pursed his lips together and took one of the nearest plates to start in on.

And from then on, it actually got rather quiet between the two of them. They didn't even look at each other much, munching contentedly, or at least apparently so, on the variety of dishes situated about them. Ohno felt the gurgle in his stomach leave completely, now filled with only the warmth of food.

Aiba was the first to sit back, chewing the last of whatever'd been in his mouth and letting his hands cross over his stomach.

Ohno looked up at him, a noodle half-hanging out of his mouth before he sucked it up. Neither of them said anything. Most of the food was gone now.

Finishing the last of his plate, he sat up in a similar position. After another moment, he reached over to grab his tea, glad to see that it had been replenished and abruptly downing half of it.

Aiba followed suit, rotating the cup slightly in his hands.

"Leader, did you know..."

Ohno glanced across, wondering what the other man was going to blurt out this time. He seemed to be staring off towards something... behind him or in his own head, he wasn't sure.

And then Aiba turned his gaze down towards the tea, eyebrows furrowed slightly.

Ohno felt his stomach twist just a bit, worry already starting to prick at his brain, but he attempted to stifle it before it could develop any further.

"What is it?" His voice cracked.

Aiba turned his cup one more time, taking a little sip. "Leader, did you know... that I like you?"

It was so incredibly simple and nonchalant.

Ohno felt his heart stop in his chest. It took a second for his brain to catch up.

Was that it? This whole time? All the oddities that had set off Ohno's senses, all the strange feelings he'd sensed, that his mind had run off wildly in different directions with?

It was this?

He blinked once. Twice.

He looked down at his tea.

Christ, he was an idiot.

"I...I didn't know."

Aiba was letting his finger travel around the ring of his cup again, a canine poking out slightly from under his top lip.

"Well, now I've told you." He was staring off again, almost as if in a trance. "You can do anything you want with that piece of information, including put it wherever you keep the ones about dim sum."

And now it has really sunk in. Ohno fumbled with his own cup, looking back and forth from it to Aiba, then finally downing the rest of it and placing it uncertainly on the table. His heart was beating so loudly he could hear it in his ears, but unlike before, for a very different reason entirely.

What the hell was he supposed to say? He didn't...

"Aiba, I'm not sure... I mean, I don't know... and it's... we're..."

Aiba laughed, eyes clenched in mirth. Ohno couldn't decide if it was helping his nervous confusion or not, but he was having a hard time looking up at the younger man.

He'd never even seen it coming. He'd had no idea...

"I know. It's okay."

There was a little pat on his hand, and now Ohno did look up, Aiba already sitting back from where he'd leaned forward. There was a smile playing across his face. A completely innocent, sincere, knowing smile.

Ohno felt a small smile start spreading on his own face, a little flutter working its way out of his heart.

Aiba cocked his head to the side, one lock of hair sweeping across his face.

"Leader, did you know..."

Ohno chewed the inside of his cheek.

"...I poisoned your tea while you were in the bathroom."

The smile didn't leave Ohno's face. He stared straight ahead. And Aiba slurped up the last of his own tea, letting out a tiny sigh of satisfaction.

At some point, it was like his heart had stopped. He couldn't move. His eyes were frozen, fixed on the younger man who sat across from him, practically shaking in their sockets as he couldn't figure out how to work another breath of oxygen into his lungs.

He tried to say something, but he couldn't. His heart felt like it weighed a million pounds, crashing down into the depths of his stomach.

Aiba glanced back up at him, still smiling. He blinked once, twice, letting his eyes close slowly before his grin widened.

Ohno's mouth felt dry. Desiccated. He tore his gaze away from the other man and tried looking down at the table, looking at the vast number of empty plates, looking at the way the red of the tablecloth seeped up between them.

His heart was pounding again. Screaming. He couldn't hear anything else.

And that's when he felt it. Something was wrong. It felt like his stomach was being squeezed, wrenched, twisted. It felt like something was burning, rising up inside of him like a tiny flame from a match that had just been thrown on a gas-soaked grill.

He choked. Only it came out as more of a gag because his throat was so dry he couldn't even swallow.

His eyes went back to Aiba, desperate, straining. Somehow his hand made it to his chest, clutching the fabric of his t-shirt, clutching at his skin, trying to assuage the pain that was spreading throughout his entire midsection.

Aiba continued to simply watch him, a passably amused look on his face.

Ohno's knees hit the floor as he slid out of his chair, unable to keep himself completely upright. His body twisted forward, horrible retching noises coming from his throat as his shoulders shook uncontrollably.

He heard the sound of the other chair being pulled back, his eyes staring at the red carpet beneath him, his entire vision filled with red. Red. Red.

Movement in front of him.

He raised his head up just enough to see a pair of feet standing a short distance away. His vision was starting to blur.

And then something on his head. He felt it. Felt the other's hand as he simply patted him admonishingly. His stomach was on fire. His body was on fire.

"...didn't think you'd know that either."

And then it went black.