A moment of weakness
Title: A moment of weakness
Pairing: Kamenashi/Ueda friendship
Rating: G
Word count: 1036
A/N: My first fanfic ever. I hate it when I can read in english but can't write and express myself in english. I just have some inner block or something. In order to get rid of this block I decided to start writing. This is my very first attempt at doing so. The title is lame, I' aware of that. Comments are appreciated.
Warning: I've only been into KAT-TUN for about a week or so so there may be OOC-ness.
Disclaimer: The only thing mine here is the plot(less story)
Summary: Ueda lets his guard down for just a moment
“Hey! Hey, Ueda! You okay?” was Kame trying to get Ueda's attention.
“Wha…?” He seemed lost in his own world, tiredness on his face and distance in his eyes made Kame wonder where he was with his thoughts. Ueda then realised where he was and flashed a small smile to his companion in the room.
“I’m sorry.”
“You need a glass of water or something?” asked Kame, who had a look of concern on his face.
“It’s okay, I’m fine, thanks. Just a bit tired.”
“Would you like to lie down? We still have 30 minutes before the shooting starts.”
“Yeah, maybe I should …” he murmured. He stood there for a few more minutes looking at the wall behind Kame’s head but not really seeing it. Kame opened his mouth to say something when Ueda suddenly leaned onto his shoulder with his head.
Kame was too shocked to say anything. He just stood there completely still, waiting for Ueda to say something or move or … anything.
When he didn’t do anything, Kame carefully asked, “Hey, Ueda … are you sure you’re okay?”
And that was it. It was enough for Ueda’s shoulders to start shaking and after a few seconds a sob that escaped his mouth confirmed Kame’s suspicions that he was crying.
Clinging with his arms onto Kame’s shirt, his sobs became louder and more frequent before his knees gave in and he fell to the ground, pulling Kame down with him.
Kame found his hands resting comfortingly on Ueda’s back. He spoke kind words with soothing voice as he let Ueda drench his shirt with his tears. “It’s okay. Let it out. It’s okay to let your tears wash away your worries and problems. It’s okay to cry.”
Ueda grabbed the collar of Kame’s shirt even more tightly if that was even possible and his shaking became uncontrollable.
“I’m … I’m s-sorry …” he tried to say between his sobs but couldn’t control his own voice. Everything that was bottled up inside him, every thought and problem, stress from working and failing at it, all those sleepless nights that made him irritable, fights he recently had with various people and the guilt he felt for initiating most of them were rushing out of him through his tears, leaving nothing but exhaustion and emptiness.
“I … I just … I don’t k-know …” he tried to explain to Kame but couldn’t find the words.
“It’s okay,” Kame told him quietly. He didn’t know what to do but to lend him his shoulder to lean on, for it was the first time he had seen Ueda cry in the years of their friendship. He noticed Ueda has been acting differently recently. He didn’t smile as much as before and even when he did, it seemed fake and forced. But he never imagined Ueda breaking down in front of him, for it was common knowledge among KAT-TUN members that Ueda cries alone and alone only. He was the one who people came to when they needed someone to lean on and comfort them. No one has ever seen his tears before. And yet there he was, crying with Kame holding him and trying to console him.
“You … you weren’t sup-supposed to s-see me … l-like this,” Ueda spoke again though his sobs. “I’m older … I sh-shouldn’t be let-letting myself … cry … not in-in front of y-you … It should b-be … th-the other way … around … I should be … t-taking care … of you …”
“We’re friends. It’s okay to ask me to carry a little bit of your burden when it becomes too much for you to bear it alone. It’s what friends do. There’s nothing wrong with crumbling and falling when you come to an obstacle. The important thing is that you get up and keep on walking down the path you chose for yourself in your life. It’s not wrong to ask for help.”
Ueda didn’t reply. He didn’t have any strength left in him. He didn’t even have the strength to lift his head and open his eyes and his grip around Kame’s collar gradually loosened when he calmed himself down with repeating his friend’s words in his head. He let his hands fall down on the floor, leaving his head resting on Kame’s shoulder. They stayed like that for what Ueda thought was a long time and slowly his mind was starting to become a prisoner of darkness that surrounded him. Just when he was about to fall asleep in Kame’s embrace, he could feel him shaking back to his senses.
“Tatsuya … will you let me take a look at you?”
Ueda lifted his head and opened his eyes with great effort, and then looked into Kame’s face.
Kame stared into his red eyes swollen from the tears he had shed and were full of sorrow. All the traces of his beautiful smile were gone. One look at his exhausted face told him Ueda can’t even walk straight, much less work.
“I … want to sleep,” said Ueda and closed his eyes again.
“Okay. Come on. We’ll get you to lie down on this couch here, you can’t stay on the floor. I’ll go talk to Johnny and ask him for a day or two off. Then I’ll take you home, where you can rest. Can you get up?”
Ueda almost got up using Kame as his support when he slipped and fell into his friend’s arms. His body heat was making him even sleepier as Kame helped him stand up straight while supporting most of his weight. He almost dragged him to the couch and laid him down.
“Do you need me to get you anything?” Ueda faintly heard him ask as he felt his body being laid on the couch and the touch of Kame’s hands going away. His answer to him was an indistinct murmur and even he himself didn’t know what he wanted to say. There was a short pause of silence before he heard Kame leaving the room but he never heard him come back, for as the door shut, Ueda’s consciousness was already slipping away towards dreamless sleep.
Pairing: Kamenashi/Ueda friendship
Rating: G
Word count: 1036
A/N: My first fanfic ever. I hate it when I can read in english but can't write and express myself in english. I just have some inner block or something. In order to get rid of this block I decided to start writing. This is my very first attempt at doing so. The title is lame, I' aware of that. Comments are appreciated.
Warning: I've only been into KAT-TUN for about a week or so so there may be OOC-ness.
Disclaimer: The only thing mine here is the plot(less story)
Summary: Ueda lets his guard down for just a moment
“Hey! Hey, Ueda! You okay?” was Kame trying to get Ueda's attention.
“Wha…?” He seemed lost in his own world, tiredness on his face and distance in his eyes made Kame wonder where he was with his thoughts. Ueda then realised where he was and flashed a small smile to his companion in the room.
“I’m sorry.”
“You need a glass of water or something?” asked Kame, who had a look of concern on his face.
“It’s okay, I’m fine, thanks. Just a bit tired.”
“Would you like to lie down? We still have 30 minutes before the shooting starts.”
“Yeah, maybe I should …” he murmured. He stood there for a few more minutes looking at the wall behind Kame’s head but not really seeing it. Kame opened his mouth to say something when Ueda suddenly leaned onto his shoulder with his head.
Kame was too shocked to say anything. He just stood there completely still, waiting for Ueda to say something or move or … anything.
When he didn’t do anything, Kame carefully asked, “Hey, Ueda … are you sure you’re okay?”
And that was it. It was enough for Ueda’s shoulders to start shaking and after a few seconds a sob that escaped his mouth confirmed Kame’s suspicions that he was crying.
Clinging with his arms onto Kame’s shirt, his sobs became louder and more frequent before his knees gave in and he fell to the ground, pulling Kame down with him.
Kame found his hands resting comfortingly on Ueda’s back. He spoke kind words with soothing voice as he let Ueda drench his shirt with his tears. “It’s okay. Let it out. It’s okay to let your tears wash away your worries and problems. It’s okay to cry.”
Ueda grabbed the collar of Kame’s shirt even more tightly if that was even possible and his shaking became uncontrollable.
“I’m … I’m s-sorry …” he tried to say between his sobs but couldn’t control his own voice. Everything that was bottled up inside him, every thought and problem, stress from working and failing at it, all those sleepless nights that made him irritable, fights he recently had with various people and the guilt he felt for initiating most of them were rushing out of him through his tears, leaving nothing but exhaustion and emptiness.
“I … I just … I don’t k-know …” he tried to explain to Kame but couldn’t find the words.
“It’s okay,” Kame told him quietly. He didn’t know what to do but to lend him his shoulder to lean on, for it was the first time he had seen Ueda cry in the years of their friendship. He noticed Ueda has been acting differently recently. He didn’t smile as much as before and even when he did, it seemed fake and forced. But he never imagined Ueda breaking down in front of him, for it was common knowledge among KAT-TUN members that Ueda cries alone and alone only. He was the one who people came to when they needed someone to lean on and comfort them. No one has ever seen his tears before. And yet there he was, crying with Kame holding him and trying to console him.
“You … you weren’t sup-supposed to s-see me … l-like this,” Ueda spoke again though his sobs. “I’m older … I sh-shouldn’t be let-letting myself … cry … not in-in front of y-you … It should b-be … th-the other way … around … I should be … t-taking care … of you …”
“We’re friends. It’s okay to ask me to carry a little bit of your burden when it becomes too much for you to bear it alone. It’s what friends do. There’s nothing wrong with crumbling and falling when you come to an obstacle. The important thing is that you get up and keep on walking down the path you chose for yourself in your life. It’s not wrong to ask for help.”
Ueda didn’t reply. He didn’t have any strength left in him. He didn’t even have the strength to lift his head and open his eyes and his grip around Kame’s collar gradually loosened when he calmed himself down with repeating his friend’s words in his head. He let his hands fall down on the floor, leaving his head resting on Kame’s shoulder. They stayed like that for what Ueda thought was a long time and slowly his mind was starting to become a prisoner of darkness that surrounded him. Just when he was about to fall asleep in Kame’s embrace, he could feel him shaking back to his senses.
“Tatsuya … will you let me take a look at you?”
Ueda lifted his head and opened his eyes with great effort, and then looked into Kame’s face.
Kame stared into his red eyes swollen from the tears he had shed and were full of sorrow. All the traces of his beautiful smile were gone. One look at his exhausted face told him Ueda can’t even walk straight, much less work.
“I … want to sleep,” said Ueda and closed his eyes again.
“Okay. Come on. We’ll get you to lie down on this couch here, you can’t stay on the floor. I’ll go talk to Johnny and ask him for a day or two off. Then I’ll take you home, where you can rest. Can you get up?”
Ueda almost got up using Kame as his support when he slipped and fell into his friend’s arms. His body heat was making him even sleepier as Kame helped him stand up straight while supporting most of his weight. He almost dragged him to the couch and laid him down.
“Do you need me to get you anything?” Ueda faintly heard him ask as he felt his body being laid on the couch and the touch of Kame’s hands going away. His answer to him was an indistinct murmur and even he himself didn’t know what he wanted to say. There was a short pause of silence before he heard Kame leaving the room but he never heard him come back, for as the door shut, Ueda’s consciousness was already slipping away towards dreamless sleep.