Fanfic: Cursed? 1/2
Title: Cursed? 1/2
Author/Artist: jencatd
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Australia, England, and later New Zealand.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Occasional swearing, I guess.
Summary: De-anon from the Kink Meme. After his team loses the semifinal against New Zealand at the Rugby World Cup, Australia is convinced he and his team are cursed so he asks England for help.
Part 1 || Part 2
“Nearly time for Neighbours.” England said to himself as he carefully placed his tea on the small table next to his favourite armchair, and switched on the TV as he settled down in the armchair. The familiar theme song was playing as he heard a sudden knock at his front door. He kept watching the TV, and ignored the knock. It was probably just the Frog, a door-to-door salesman, or someone wanting to talk to him about God anyway. The theme song ended, and someone was still knocking on his door!
England put his tea back down on the table, got up, and made his way down the hall to the front door. He was certain it was the Frog and he’d told him after the quarter-final that if he showed his face at England’s house ever again (okay, probably only for the next month) he’d be turned into a garden gnome until England decides to change him back. If he decides to change him back. By now he’d reached the front door, and went to open it.
“I told you not to bother me Frog!” England said without even looking at who was out there, and slammed the door shut again.
“Not funny, Dad.” A familiar voice said from the other side of the door. England opened it again, and saw Australia standing on his doorstep. Ned was sitting on Australia’s right shoulder looking rather unimpressed with England and mildly scary as usual. Well, there goes Neighbours. He poked his head out the door looking around for New Zealand. The two of them usually show up together when they visit, but then again New Zealand had a World Cup final to prepare for.
“Shouldn’t you be in New Zealand with your rugby team?” England said. “The Bronze Final is only a few days away!”
“My team will be fine without me.” Australia said. “Can we talk?”
“Of course. Come on in.” England let Australia and Ned into the house and closed the door behind them. He wasn’t really expecting more visitors seeing as his brothers had stayed in New Zealand for the finals, and he would’ve stayed there longer himself if he hadn’t been called back for work. Yes, work. It was only a sports tournament and he was certain his team would win next time. He made his way towards the kitchen with Australia following him. “Would you like something to drink?”
“A beer would be great if you have any.” Australia said as he sat down at the kitchen table, and England was suddenly reminded of the days when he had at least five children sitting around this table. He could almost hear their voices chatting and arguing with each other, but this time it was just him and Australia, not the whole family. He got two bottles of beer out of the fridge and handed one to Australia before sitting down next to him. Ned was staring at England from the other side of the table, and he tried to ignore the koala. The two of them drank in silence until England put his bottle down on the table.
“What’s on your mind?” England said. More often than not Australia’s visits were marked by some kind of prank, but this time Australia seemed worried and nervous when he was standing on England’s doorstep, and England was fairly certain he wouldn’t find some kind of dangerous animal in his house when Australia was gone. “Are you nervous about the Bronze Final?”
“Nah.” Australia put down what was left of his beer. “It’s just that during this tournament I’ve been thinking about some things about rugby.”
“Go on.” England started drinking his beer again while Australia talked.
“I think Zea cursed me and my team.” Australia said, and England nearly spat out his beer. He genuinely couldn’t work out if Australia was joking or not, and he was certain that New Zealand wouldn’t do anything like that to Australia!
“What makes you say that?” England said. He tried to remember if he had taught Australia and the other colonies anything about curses, but he couldn’t. He didn’t think he’d passed on that particular bit of magical knowledge to any of his colonies, but then again some of them had their own forms of magic...
“It just seems like Zea’s done absolutely everything he could to get his team through the World Cup including knocking me out of the competition.” Australia said. “And invoking two curses on my team.”
“I never thought you’d be a sore loser.” England got up and got a couple more beers out of the fridge. Something told him he’d need beer in the fridge this week, and that instinct had been right.
“I am not being a sore loser! I’m 100% serious!” Australia said as he accepted the beer England handed him as he sat back down. “Take the Tri-Nations for instance. In every other World Cup year since the Tri-Nations started Zea’s won it and lost the World Cup afterwards. His team were going amazingly well in this year’s Tri-Nations, and then they rested some of their top players for the away game against South Africa. South Africa had rested all of their top players for their away games, so fair’s fair I guess.”
England gave a small snort of amusement when Australia explained what South Africa had done. South Africa had pulled that particular trick before and it had paid off, but not this year.
“Anyway. Zea’s team lost their last two matches, and my team won the Tri-Nations. That’s the more recent curse.” Australia said. “Also, did you notice that the semi finals and finals are being held at Eden Park? My team hasn’t won there for 25 years, and Zea knows it. They couldn’t even beat Ireland’s team there during pool play, and lost to Zea’s team there in the semifinals.”
England started to smile, and then he cracked up laughing. Ned’s usual stare turned into a death glare, but England was laughing too hard to notice. The two curses sounded so preposterous to him that they had to be all in Australia’s head, surely. He quickly glanced at Australia, and noticed that his expression had gone from serious to “I’m upset but I’m not gonna let you see that I’m upset”. He actually was serious. Shit.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come here.” Australia said while England tried to compose himself. “It’s clear you don’t believe a word I’m saying, but I’m certain Zea’s cursed me.”
“Curses do exist, but I find it hard to believe that New Zealand would purposely curse you and your team. Especially not after the year he’s had. He’s had earthquakes, the mine disaster, flooding, and more recently that ship running aground on a reef in the Bay of Plenty. Between dealing with all of that and the World Cup I don’t think he’d have the time or energy to curse you with anything.” England finished his beer and put down the bottle. “If you really are worried I could check the trophy and Eden Park to prove that there isn’t any curses on either of them.”
“You would?” Australia suddenly grabbed England, gave him what would be a bone-crushing hug if it was done on a human and clung to him. “Thanks, Dad! I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome, but I can’t breathe!” England said, and Australia immediately let him go. England noticed that Australia’s mood seemed to have changed completely now that he had agreed to help him out. Before he had seemed depressed, but now he seemed more like his usual happy self, and had jumped up to get them more beer from the fridge.
“Here.” Australia handed England another beer.
“Thank you.” England accepted the beer, and removed the lid. “I just have one question.”
“Fire away.”
“How do we get our hands on the Tri-Nations trophy?”
Several phone calls and a plane ride later, Australia and England were now in the same room as the Tri-Nations trophy. Being allowed to physically touch the trophy, however, was proving to be more difficult. England wondered how they were supposed to find out if the trophy had any curses laid on it if they weren’t allowed to touch it. Australia was currently talking to the Australian Rugby Union staff to get permission to touch the trophy.
“Look, you can leave a security guard or two in here to watch us if you want.” Australia said. “We can’t fit it under our shirts or anything like that, and you can search us to make sure we don’t have any bags in our pockets or anything like that. We’ll put it back as soon as we’re done.”
England walked up to the display cabinet the trophy was in, and he was looking at what he could from every possible angle which wasn’t many. He could really only see the front and a little of the sides. He couldn’t see any markings that might indicate that the object had been cursed, nor could he feel any magical energy radiating from the trophy. He had to admit that he couldn’t see the part of the trophy where a magical marker would most likely be placed: the base. The tone of the conversation Australia was having seemed to have changed, and things now seemed to be going in Australia's favour.
“Excuse me, please.” A voice said from behind England, and he moved aside to let a staff member past him to open the cabinet. “Only you are to touch the trophy, Mr. Cooper, and there will be myself and one security guard present. Do we have an understanding?”
“We do indeed and thank you so much. We really appreciate it.” Australia said as he lifted the trophy out of the cabinet. England noted that he was able to hold it, so clearly this so-called curse would not affect Australia, New Zealand or South Africa personally. He checked every last inch of the trophy as Australia turned it in all directions including inside the trophy. Australia was about to put it back in the cabinet when England realised something. Australia hadn’t shown him the base!
“Wait, what about the base?” England said, and Australia flipped it up so he could see underneath the trophy. Crap, there was nothing on the base. Maybe this particular curse was all in Australia’s head? “Thanks.”
Australia put the trophy back in the cabinet, and the two of them left the building. Neither of them spoke as they walked to Australia’s car, but once they were inside England had one more question to ask.
“How did you get permission to get out the trophy?”
“In the end it was fairly easy. I explained that I work for the Government, and showed them my ID. I then explained that that there was suspicion that this wasn’t the real Tri-Nations trophy so this was a top secret mission to check that it’s authentic. The good people of Australia can’t know that there was suspicion for obvious reasons. You were an expert we got in from overseas to inspect the trophy, and they would only give me permission to touch it so that’s what happened there.”
“I see. It looks like that particular curse is all in you three’s heads. You and New Zealand being knocked out of the World Cup after winning it seems to be just a coincidence.” England said. “Your team wasn’t too over-confident or anything heading into this year’s event?”
“Maybe...” Australia said, and England heard his stomach growl a little. He hoped Australia had noticed the noise, but he hadn’t, and they were driving on a motorway by then so there was nowhere to stop for food. “Still, at least I know the trophy isn’t actually cursed. Next stop is Eden Park.”
“What about lunch?” The two of them hadn’t eaten since they were on the plane from London, and that was hours ago! He had forgotten just how determined Australia could be when he set his mind to doing something, and as they whizzed past a sign for a fish and chip shop England was hit by a sudden craving for one of his favourite foods.
“We can worry about food after we check Eden Park.” Australia said. “I don’t want Zea to get wind of us coming over and sniffing around that stadium trying to figure out if he’s done something to it. He might call the cops on us.”
“I guess so.” England said. His brain agreed with Australia’s logic since the faster they were at getting over there, the faster they’d be gone before New Zealand could notice them, but his heart and his stomach had set whatever minds they have on getting some fish and chips. Fortunately he’d introduced fish and chips to Australia and New Zealand early on, and thankfully it was popular in both countries. He also hoped that there’d be an airplane meal to tide him over until they were done at Eden Park. “Say, who are we flying with?”
“Pacific Blue, I think! We’ll be landing in Auckland in 4 hours or so.”
“No time to get lunch, then.” England thought to himself as he stared out the window of the car and hoped they’d have an in-flight meal of some description.
Author/Artist: jencatd
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Australia, England, and later New Zealand.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Occasional swearing, I guess.
Summary: De-anon from the Kink Meme. After his team loses the semifinal against New Zealand at the Rugby World Cup, Australia is convinced he and his team are cursed so he asks England for help.
Part 1 || Part 2
“Nearly time for Neighbours.” England said to himself as he carefully placed his tea on the small table next to his favourite armchair, and switched on the TV as he settled down in the armchair. The familiar theme song was playing as he heard a sudden knock at his front door. He kept watching the TV, and ignored the knock. It was probably just the Frog, a door-to-door salesman, or someone wanting to talk to him about God anyway. The theme song ended, and someone was still knocking on his door!
England put his tea back down on the table, got up, and made his way down the hall to the front door. He was certain it was the Frog and he’d told him after the quarter-final that if he showed his face at England’s house ever again (okay, probably only for the next month) he’d be turned into a garden gnome until England decides to change him back. If he decides to change him back. By now he’d reached the front door, and went to open it.
“I told you not to bother me Frog!” England said without even looking at who was out there, and slammed the door shut again.
“Not funny, Dad.” A familiar voice said from the other side of the door. England opened it again, and saw Australia standing on his doorstep. Ned was sitting on Australia’s right shoulder looking rather unimpressed with England and mildly scary as usual. Well, there goes Neighbours. He poked his head out the door looking around for New Zealand. The two of them usually show up together when they visit, but then again New Zealand had a World Cup final to prepare for.
“Shouldn’t you be in New Zealand with your rugby team?” England said. “The Bronze Final is only a few days away!”
“My team will be fine without me.” Australia said. “Can we talk?”
“Of course. Come on in.” England let Australia and Ned into the house and closed the door behind them. He wasn’t really expecting more visitors seeing as his brothers had stayed in New Zealand for the finals, and he would’ve stayed there longer himself if he hadn’t been called back for work. Yes, work. It was only a sports tournament and he was certain his team would win next time. He made his way towards the kitchen with Australia following him. “Would you like something to drink?”
“A beer would be great if you have any.” Australia said as he sat down at the kitchen table, and England was suddenly reminded of the days when he had at least five children sitting around this table. He could almost hear their voices chatting and arguing with each other, but this time it was just him and Australia, not the whole family. He got two bottles of beer out of the fridge and handed one to Australia before sitting down next to him. Ned was staring at England from the other side of the table, and he tried to ignore the koala. The two of them drank in silence until England put his bottle down on the table.
“What’s on your mind?” England said. More often than not Australia’s visits were marked by some kind of prank, but this time Australia seemed worried and nervous when he was standing on England’s doorstep, and England was fairly certain he wouldn’t find some kind of dangerous animal in his house when Australia was gone. “Are you nervous about the Bronze Final?”
“Nah.” Australia put down what was left of his beer. “It’s just that during this tournament I’ve been thinking about some things about rugby.”
“Go on.” England started drinking his beer again while Australia talked.
“I think Zea cursed me and my team.” Australia said, and England nearly spat out his beer. He genuinely couldn’t work out if Australia was joking or not, and he was certain that New Zealand wouldn’t do anything like that to Australia!
“What makes you say that?” England said. He tried to remember if he had taught Australia and the other colonies anything about curses, but he couldn’t. He didn’t think he’d passed on that particular bit of magical knowledge to any of his colonies, but then again some of them had their own forms of magic...
“It just seems like Zea’s done absolutely everything he could to get his team through the World Cup including knocking me out of the competition.” Australia said. “And invoking two curses on my team.”
“I never thought you’d be a sore loser.” England got up and got a couple more beers out of the fridge. Something told him he’d need beer in the fridge this week, and that instinct had been right.
“I am not being a sore loser! I’m 100% serious!” Australia said as he accepted the beer England handed him as he sat back down. “Take the Tri-Nations for instance. In every other World Cup year since the Tri-Nations started Zea’s won it and lost the World Cup afterwards. His team were going amazingly well in this year’s Tri-Nations, and then they rested some of their top players for the away game against South Africa. South Africa had rested all of their top players for their away games, so fair’s fair I guess.”
England gave a small snort of amusement when Australia explained what South Africa had done. South Africa had pulled that particular trick before and it had paid off, but not this year.
“Anyway. Zea’s team lost their last two matches, and my team won the Tri-Nations. That’s the more recent curse.” Australia said. “Also, did you notice that the semi finals and finals are being held at Eden Park? My team hasn’t won there for 25 years, and Zea knows it. They couldn’t even beat Ireland’s team there during pool play, and lost to Zea’s team there in the semifinals.”
England started to smile, and then he cracked up laughing. Ned’s usual stare turned into a death glare, but England was laughing too hard to notice. The two curses sounded so preposterous to him that they had to be all in Australia’s head, surely. He quickly glanced at Australia, and noticed that his expression had gone from serious to “I’m upset but I’m not gonna let you see that I’m upset”. He actually was serious. Shit.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come here.” Australia said while England tried to compose himself. “It’s clear you don’t believe a word I’m saying, but I’m certain Zea’s cursed me.”
“Curses do exist, but I find it hard to believe that New Zealand would purposely curse you and your team. Especially not after the year he’s had. He’s had earthquakes, the mine disaster, flooding, and more recently that ship running aground on a reef in the Bay of Plenty. Between dealing with all of that and the World Cup I don’t think he’d have the time or energy to curse you with anything.” England finished his beer and put down the bottle. “If you really are worried I could check the trophy and Eden Park to prove that there isn’t any curses on either of them.”
“You would?” Australia suddenly grabbed England, gave him what would be a bone-crushing hug if it was done on a human and clung to him. “Thanks, Dad! I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome, but I can’t breathe!” England said, and Australia immediately let him go. England noticed that Australia’s mood seemed to have changed completely now that he had agreed to help him out. Before he had seemed depressed, but now he seemed more like his usual happy self, and had jumped up to get them more beer from the fridge.
“Here.” Australia handed England another beer.
“Thank you.” England accepted the beer, and removed the lid. “I just have one question.”
“Fire away.”
“How do we get our hands on the Tri-Nations trophy?”
Several phone calls and a plane ride later, Australia and England were now in the same room as the Tri-Nations trophy. Being allowed to physically touch the trophy, however, was proving to be more difficult. England wondered how they were supposed to find out if the trophy had any curses laid on it if they weren’t allowed to touch it. Australia was currently talking to the Australian Rugby Union staff to get permission to touch the trophy.
“Look, you can leave a security guard or two in here to watch us if you want.” Australia said. “We can’t fit it under our shirts or anything like that, and you can search us to make sure we don’t have any bags in our pockets or anything like that. We’ll put it back as soon as we’re done.”
England walked up to the display cabinet the trophy was in, and he was looking at what he could from every possible angle which wasn’t many. He could really only see the front and a little of the sides. He couldn’t see any markings that might indicate that the object had been cursed, nor could he feel any magical energy radiating from the trophy. He had to admit that he couldn’t see the part of the trophy where a magical marker would most likely be placed: the base. The tone of the conversation Australia was having seemed to have changed, and things now seemed to be going in Australia's favour.
“Excuse me, please.” A voice said from behind England, and he moved aside to let a staff member past him to open the cabinet. “Only you are to touch the trophy, Mr. Cooper, and there will be myself and one security guard present. Do we have an understanding?”
“We do indeed and thank you so much. We really appreciate it.” Australia said as he lifted the trophy out of the cabinet. England noted that he was able to hold it, so clearly this so-called curse would not affect Australia, New Zealand or South Africa personally. He checked every last inch of the trophy as Australia turned it in all directions including inside the trophy. Australia was about to put it back in the cabinet when England realised something. Australia hadn’t shown him the base!
“Wait, what about the base?” England said, and Australia flipped it up so he could see underneath the trophy. Crap, there was nothing on the base. Maybe this particular curse was all in Australia’s head? “Thanks.”
Australia put the trophy back in the cabinet, and the two of them left the building. Neither of them spoke as they walked to Australia’s car, but once they were inside England had one more question to ask.
“How did you get permission to get out the trophy?”
“In the end it was fairly easy. I explained that I work for the Government, and showed them my ID. I then explained that that there was suspicion that this wasn’t the real Tri-Nations trophy so this was a top secret mission to check that it’s authentic. The good people of Australia can’t know that there was suspicion for obvious reasons. You were an expert we got in from overseas to inspect the trophy, and they would only give me permission to touch it so that’s what happened there.”
“I see. It looks like that particular curse is all in you three’s heads. You and New Zealand being knocked out of the World Cup after winning it seems to be just a coincidence.” England said. “Your team wasn’t too over-confident or anything heading into this year’s event?”
“Maybe...” Australia said, and England heard his stomach growl a little. He hoped Australia had noticed the noise, but he hadn’t, and they were driving on a motorway by then so there was nowhere to stop for food. “Still, at least I know the trophy isn’t actually cursed. Next stop is Eden Park.”
“What about lunch?” The two of them hadn’t eaten since they were on the plane from London, and that was hours ago! He had forgotten just how determined Australia could be when he set his mind to doing something, and as they whizzed past a sign for a fish and chip shop England was hit by a sudden craving for one of his favourite foods.
“We can worry about food after we check Eden Park.” Australia said. “I don’t want Zea to get wind of us coming over and sniffing around that stadium trying to figure out if he’s done something to it. He might call the cops on us.”
“I guess so.” England said. His brain agreed with Australia’s logic since the faster they were at getting over there, the faster they’d be gone before New Zealand could notice them, but his heart and his stomach had set whatever minds they have on getting some fish and chips. Fortunately he’d introduced fish and chips to Australia and New Zealand early on, and thankfully it was popular in both countries. He also hoped that there’d be an airplane meal to tide him over until they were done at Eden Park. “Say, who are we flying with?”
“Pacific Blue, I think! We’ll be landing in Auckland in 4 hours or so.”
“No time to get lunch, then.” England thought to himself as he stared out the window of the car and hoped they’d have an in-flight meal of some description.