Stargate SG-1 fic: Deepest Desires

[jennickels]

7.12.11/7.17.11
Deepest Desires
by jennickels (aka Jen Connelly)
Stargate SG-1
Jack/Sam
499 words
rating: PG
WARNINGS:

Jack finds a mirror that gives him a look at his deepest desires. Written for challenge #19 at fictionland during Harry Potter Week.

don't own... wish I did, but I don't. No infringement intended.

Comments

[campylobacter]

> She glances around with a look of awe that nearly melts Jack's reserves.

I love it when Sam looks like that, too. :D

So what did Daniel see? Vala & Sha're french-kissing? ;)

[jennickels]

Well, you'd have to write that part. I only had 500 words and had to cut a LOT out to get it down to that.

[ami_ven]

Very nice!

[jennickels]

Thanks. It was probably better before I cut it down to 500 words. I had a lot of trouble with that. I hate cutting. Probably should have saved the longer version but oh well. At least I wrote something (although the bulk of it was written last week, I just finished it last night).

[ami_ven]

Yeah, I hate cutting pieces down. I'd much rather add words to get an even number than have to take stuff out :)

[jennickels]

I hate cutting but it's a good exercise. I've actually made stories better by cutting stuff to make word counts. It makes you choose your words very carefully.

This one, though. I had more funny "Jack touching things he shouldn't" at the beginning but had to get rid of it. It really didn't have anything to do with the plot but was funny and so Jack. Plus I would have added more explanation from Daniel or Jack reacting to Sam walking in but then I would have had to cut more of what Jack saw in the mirror which wasn't an option (and I did cut a bunch of that--took it down to bare bones). Oh well. It still works. Not my best stuff but I've barely written anything in weeks so I'm happy.

[traycer_]

Great fic! :)

It definitely got me to wondering because I never would have thought that Sam would be Jack's deepest desire. (This is just me talking so please take this with a grain of salt.) I just think that the one thing he'd rather have more than anything in the world is to have Charlie back. I think he would have seen Charlie standing in the mirror - a few years older and holding a football or a hockey stick.

But yeah, this was a fantastic look inside Jack and his desires!!

[jennickels]

Honestly, I hadn't even thought about that but maybe you could look at like if this had been early on in their careers (like first 3 years) that would have been his deepest desire but if it was later he might have come to terms with the loss and accepted it to the point where his desires shifted to something that he knew was a little more attainable.

Charlie was never coming back but Sam was there even if he couldn't have her at the moment.

Also slightly less traumatic for Jack. I can't imagine what he would have done if he saw Charlie in the mirror.

The Sam thing was the first thing that popped into my head, though, and I was just happy to have anything come to me so it is what it is.

[traycer_]

A parent never gives up on a child. Ever.

Still, what works for you is what it's all about! :) Every story is interpreted in at least five different ways, especially when it's as excellent as this one is. Don't worry about what I think. You did a great job here!

Also slightly less traumatic for Jack. I can't imagine what he would have done if he saw Charlie in the mirror

The same thing he did in Cold Lazarus. Want to accept it more than anything, but knows better, but it would so great if... no, no it's not Charlie. :) Oh the angst that would bring on! *hearts* lol I do love me some angst! Hee! My favorite kind of story!!!

[thothmes]

Personally, I think that Jack just covered the mirror too early, because he didn't want anyone else to see; it was too private, too heart-felt. If he'd just kept watching a bit longer, a teenage or young adult Charlie would have wandered into the frame, teasingly covering his eyes, and saying "Daaad! Saaammm! Not again! Cut it OUT! You're corrupting youth here!"

[thothmes]

I love all the details about how physically affected Jack is by what he sees. We really feel his guilt and delight here.

In my head I'm writing the sequel (not worth actually writing, because it would be a tad predictable, where Jack walks into Sam's lab, where she is attempting to analyze how the mirror works, only to find her transfixed before the image of him reaching one hand to cradle her neck, while using the other to brush back her hair as he bends his mouth to hers...

[jennickels]

I'd read that.

If I had more words to use I would have added more detail. Actually, my first draft had a lot more, um, heat in the mirror but I had to cut to the most pertinent parts.

[regularamanda]

I HAD NOT REALIZED YOU WROTE S/J FIC FOR THIS UNTIL NOW! I loooveee itttt :D

Now go write Sam's pov! ;)

[jennickels]

lol

If I didn't have so much other stuff to write I'd tackle Sam's POV.