Fic: Fall to Pieces
Title: Fall to Pieces
Author: Jen Lynn
Pairing: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: angst (resolved)
Disclaimer: I don’t know Zach or Chris and I make no profit from this work.
Summary: Star Trek 12 is about to film.
Beta: eruberueth
Note: Title and lyrics at the start from Fall to Pieces by Matt Nathanson.
Word Count: 1176
Would you fall to pieces if i never came back? Tear it all apart ‘til there was nothing left.
Zach scrunched his toes through the warm, sun-baked sand. The day was over now, evening falling, sending long purple shadows across the small stretch of beach. In the background Zach could hear music and chatter, his friends enjoying themselves as he sat there and waited.
The wait was exceedingly short as it turned out. Zach imagined he could feel the earth shift beneath him as Chris plopped himself onto the spot next to him, seating two unopened bottles of beer into the sand. Zach looked over at Chris, grateful that Chris was staring forward, blue eyes watching blue water. The first thing that entered Zach’s mind was that Chris looked thin. There was a sharp cut to his jaw, an almost drawn quality around his eyes. Zach shook his head. No, it was no good. That was not the first thing Zach thought upon seeing Chris. The first thing was: Christ, he is still the most beautiful thing that I have ever or will ever see in this fallen, forsaken world of ours.
Zach stopped staring at Chris long enough to pick up one of the beers and pop the cap off. He took a long, slow drink. The beer was crisp and cold, and felt good as it went down. “I half expected you wouldn’t show up,” Zach said at last, unable to take the silence.
Chris’ chin dropped a fraction. “You never did expect much from me, did you, Zach?” he said. If there was meant to be an accusation in those words Zach didn’t hear it. Still, they stung.
“What’s that mean?” Zach said, defensive, turning his head to look at Chris, drawing his knees up.
Chris finally looked at him and Zach took a moment to take in this first up-close view of Chris’ face months. His face was covered in stubble, his eyes looked tired, his mouth drawn into a thin line. “You always let me off the hook, Zach. You always told me you didn’t expect anything except now, didn’t think about tomorrow, didn’t worry about what we were.”
"I didn’t want to put more pressure on you. You had enough. You were drowning in it. Isn’t that what you told me? That all the expectations on you were making you lose your grip on who you really were?”
“I was. I did. I lost it for awhile. Maybe I still haven’t regained it, I don’t know,” Chris said, shaking his head. “Losing you didn’t help matters.”
“You never lost me,” Zach said, his voice cracking slightly.
“Misplaced you,” Chris said. “I should’ve put a tag on you before you left for New York. If found return to Chris Pine, SIlverlake.”
“Chris, I had to- it started to feel like Los Angeles wasn’t big enough for both of us. I was getting jealous of your career, which is fucking stupid, and I knew it. I needed--”
“Three thousand miles between us?”
“I thought so. Turns out it wasn’t enough. It could’ve been three million. You’re still all I ever think about. Chris I owe you--”
“You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to spend all night rehashing everything. Opening up old wounds. That’s now why I came over here and sat down next to you.”
“Why did you?” Zach said.
“Because I got here and you were sitting on the sand in the fading sunlight and your skin looked golden and your hair glinted and I wanted to know if your eyes still caught the light the same way they did before. Before we threw our friendship out and became more than friends and then tore that all up and became less… I wanted to know if…”
“If what?” Zach murmured.
“If we could still be us,” Chris said, hand sliding along Zach’s jaw line, thumb brushing over Zach’s lips.
“Are you going to fucking kiss me, or what?” Zach said.
Chris let out a soft, breathless bit of laughter. “You want me to kiss you, Zach?”
“No,” Zach said. “I want you to bury yourself inside me; I want you to fuck me until I can’t remember the fact that I wasted a year without you.”
“Let’s start with a kiss,” Chris rasped, mouth hard against Zach’s. It was a bruising, unrelenting kiss. No finesse, nothing held back. Just passion spilling over, overriding every one of Zach’s senses. Zach reached for Chris, gripped him by the arms and surrendered.
Zach was breathing hard when it ended, fingernails sunk into Chris’ skin. “Welcome back to Los Angeles, Zach,” Chris rasped, his lips still brushing Zach’s.
“You know, I’ve been back for a few weeks now and it’s felt all wrong. Maybe L.A. belongs to you and N.Y. belongs to me.”
Chris shook his head, a smile forming on his mouth. “Nothing here belongs to me. Except a tiny apartment in Silverlake, a couch I’ve had for ten years and a big screen T.V. I almost never turn on.”
“That’s not true,” Zach said. “I’m pretty sure there’s something else here that is all yours.”
Chris’ eyes narrowed and then he blinked. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” he said, the words coming out soft yet raw.
“You’re the one who wanted expectations,” Zach said.
“I guess I did,” Chris said. He leaned in close, kissed Zach’s mouth again. “About that other thing you wanted-the one where I fuck you so hard the last year ceases to have existed…”
Zach felt his cock ache at those sultry, whispered words. “Your place or mine?”
“Yours is closer,” Chris said. “But don’t you think we should mingle with the gang first? I mean, that’s why JJ had this party, right? So we could all catch up before the movie starts shooting?”
“Is that why he had the party?” Zach laughed. “I thought it was an elaborate scheme to get us back together.”
Chris grinned and it was like the sun bursting through the clouds. Suddenly the world was filled with warmth and light again. “You know what, I think you’re right. Fuck mingling. We’ll have months to mingle.” Chris hopped to his feet and offered Zach a hand. Zach took it, letting himself be helped to his feet. “Let’s go burn down the past.”
Zach nodded, keeping his fingers twisted with Chris’ as they walked down the beach. “Did you come here tonight knowing it would end this way?” Zach asked.
“Yes,” Chris said, a smirk curling his lips. “Did you?”
“Yes,” Zach admitted.
“Then I suppose it never really ended between us, did it?” Chris said.
“No, it never really could. That’s not our story. No endings,” Zach said.
“No endings,” Chris said. Their lips met one more time before they got into Zach’s car and drove into the night.
~fin~
Author: Jen Lynn
Pairing: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: angst (resolved)
Disclaimer: I don’t know Zach or Chris and I make no profit from this work.
Summary: Star Trek 12 is about to film.
Beta: eruberueth
Note: Title and lyrics at the start from Fall to Pieces by Matt Nathanson.
Word Count: 1176
Would you fall to pieces if i never came back? Tear it all apart ‘til there was nothing left.
Zach scrunched his toes through the warm, sun-baked sand. The day was over now, evening falling, sending long purple shadows across the small stretch of beach. In the background Zach could hear music and chatter, his friends enjoying themselves as he sat there and waited.
The wait was exceedingly short as it turned out. Zach imagined he could feel the earth shift beneath him as Chris plopped himself onto the spot next to him, seating two unopened bottles of beer into the sand. Zach looked over at Chris, grateful that Chris was staring forward, blue eyes watching blue water. The first thing that entered Zach’s mind was that Chris looked thin. There was a sharp cut to his jaw, an almost drawn quality around his eyes. Zach shook his head. No, it was no good. That was not the first thing Zach thought upon seeing Chris. The first thing was: Christ, he is still the most beautiful thing that I have ever or will ever see in this fallen, forsaken world of ours.
Zach stopped staring at Chris long enough to pick up one of the beers and pop the cap off. He took a long, slow drink. The beer was crisp and cold, and felt good as it went down. “I half expected you wouldn’t show up,” Zach said at last, unable to take the silence.
Chris’ chin dropped a fraction. “You never did expect much from me, did you, Zach?” he said. If there was meant to be an accusation in those words Zach didn’t hear it. Still, they stung.
“What’s that mean?” Zach said, defensive, turning his head to look at Chris, drawing his knees up.
Chris finally looked at him and Zach took a moment to take in this first up-close view of Chris’ face months. His face was covered in stubble, his eyes looked tired, his mouth drawn into a thin line. “You always let me off the hook, Zach. You always told me you didn’t expect anything except now, didn’t think about tomorrow, didn’t worry about what we were.”
"I didn’t want to put more pressure on you. You had enough. You were drowning in it. Isn’t that what you told me? That all the expectations on you were making you lose your grip on who you really were?”
“I was. I did. I lost it for awhile. Maybe I still haven’t regained it, I don’t know,” Chris said, shaking his head. “Losing you didn’t help matters.”
“You never lost me,” Zach said, his voice cracking slightly.
“Misplaced you,” Chris said. “I should’ve put a tag on you before you left for New York. If found return to Chris Pine, SIlverlake.”
“Chris, I had to- it started to feel like Los Angeles wasn’t big enough for both of us. I was getting jealous of your career, which is fucking stupid, and I knew it. I needed--”
“Three thousand miles between us?”
“I thought so. Turns out it wasn’t enough. It could’ve been three million. You’re still all I ever think about. Chris I owe you--”
“You don’t have to do that. I don’t want to spend all night rehashing everything. Opening up old wounds. That’s now why I came over here and sat down next to you.”
“Why did you?” Zach said.
“Because I got here and you were sitting on the sand in the fading sunlight and your skin looked golden and your hair glinted and I wanted to know if your eyes still caught the light the same way they did before. Before we threw our friendship out and became more than friends and then tore that all up and became less… I wanted to know if…”
“If what?” Zach murmured.
“If we could still be us,” Chris said, hand sliding along Zach’s jaw line, thumb brushing over Zach’s lips.
“Are you going to fucking kiss me, or what?” Zach said.
Chris let out a soft, breathless bit of laughter. “You want me to kiss you, Zach?”
“No,” Zach said. “I want you to bury yourself inside me; I want you to fuck me until I can’t remember the fact that I wasted a year without you.”
“Let’s start with a kiss,” Chris rasped, mouth hard against Zach’s. It was a bruising, unrelenting kiss. No finesse, nothing held back. Just passion spilling over, overriding every one of Zach’s senses. Zach reached for Chris, gripped him by the arms and surrendered.
Zach was breathing hard when it ended, fingernails sunk into Chris’ skin. “Welcome back to Los Angeles, Zach,” Chris rasped, his lips still brushing Zach’s.
“You know, I’ve been back for a few weeks now and it’s felt all wrong. Maybe L.A. belongs to you and N.Y. belongs to me.”
Chris shook his head, a smile forming on his mouth. “Nothing here belongs to me. Except a tiny apartment in Silverlake, a couch I’ve had for ten years and a big screen T.V. I almost never turn on.”
“That’s not true,” Zach said. “I’m pretty sure there’s something else here that is all yours.”
Chris’ eyes narrowed and then he blinked. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” he said, the words coming out soft yet raw.
“You’re the one who wanted expectations,” Zach said.
“I guess I did,” Chris said. He leaned in close, kissed Zach’s mouth again. “About that other thing you wanted-the one where I fuck you so hard the last year ceases to have existed…”
Zach felt his cock ache at those sultry, whispered words. “Your place or mine?”
“Yours is closer,” Chris said. “But don’t you think we should mingle with the gang first? I mean, that’s why JJ had this party, right? So we could all catch up before the movie starts shooting?”
“Is that why he had the party?” Zach laughed. “I thought it was an elaborate scheme to get us back together.”
Chris grinned and it was like the sun bursting through the clouds. Suddenly the world was filled with warmth and light again. “You know what, I think you’re right. Fuck mingling. We’ll have months to mingle.” Chris hopped to his feet and offered Zach a hand. Zach took it, letting himself be helped to his feet. “Let’s go burn down the past.”
Zach nodded, keeping his fingers twisted with Chris’ as they walked down the beach. “Did you come here tonight knowing it would end this way?” Zach asked.
“Yes,” Chris said, a smirk curling his lips. “Did you?”
“Yes,” Zach admitted.
“Then I suppose it never really ended between us, did it?” Chris said.
“No, it never really could. That’s not our story. No endings,” Zach said.
“No endings,” Chris said. Their lips met one more time before they got into Zach’s car and drove into the night.
~fin~