Can't Find My Way Home #4 Gone Away
Title: Gone Away
Rating: PG for now
By: Jendavis
Spoilers: SGA: The Last Man, FF: Serenity
Pairing: Eventual Jayne Cobb/ Ronon Dex
Genre: Crossover
Warnings: Lots of off-screen character deaths.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't take this too seriously.
Summary: Timelines diverge by converging.
Previous:
1. Man of Steel
2. Keys to the World
3. Lost
4. Gone Away
Jayne told himself that he couldn't raise Serenity on the radio because they were too busy fighting. Told himself that as long as he moved fast enough, he'd still have time.
Heard gunshots, in the distance ahead, quick and crackling and fast, and then nothing. He told himself they were fine, and just ran.
---
Slowing their approach, they drew close to the ships. The wraith dart was dark, bathed only in the light of Serenity's open cargo bay door.
Jayne readied Vera, and signaled Ronon to hold as he listened. He couldn't hear anything, and ducked along the side, checking for movement. Prepared to aim for the blind spots, and went in first, Ronon close and silent on his heels.
There was someone on the stairs headed up to the bridge. Long white hair, long black coat. Green skin, of all things, and ridden with bullets.
Jayne breathed a bit easier for a moment, before noticing the body behind it, hidden.
Skeletal and dried out to nothing, too small to be Mal. But it was.
"We need to secure the ship. Then we come back," Ronon ordered, but it didn't sound like his heart was in it, either.
---
He found Zoe on the bridge, sprawled in the pilot's seat, one dried-to-nothing hand grasping wisps of long white hair.
Jayne wasn't ready for his own reaction. If she didn't make it, and Mal didn't make it…He wanted to yell, call for Kaylee. Simon. Hell, even the Moonbrain. Probably would've, too, but a sharp look from Ronon warned him off.
---
They continued the search, room by room.
The crew and guest quarters were clear, but when Ronon reached the infirmary, he halted, turning to Jayne and raising a hand to stop Jayne from looking in.
"I gotta," Jayne shoved him out of the way and looked inside to see Kaylee on the infirmary bed, too ancient in her torn coveralls.
Simon's body was on the floor, one fragile dried hand clasped on the railing, as if he'd pull himself up. For some reason, Simon's body, dressed in all that civilized finery, was the most disturbing.
Jayne backed towards the doorway. "How many wraith?" He made himself ask, needing to keep his head in the game. Here, now. Needing to not think.
"One or ten," Ronon said. "Does it matter?"
---
Jayne had to admit, and he didn't want to, he really didn't want to- that at this point, he didn't give a damn if he found the wraith. But it would have been nice to find River, at least. Even if it was only her body.
"If the dart's damaged, they'd stun her and drag her back to the gate," Ronon said, craning his neck to look behind the engine. "If she's not here, she's probably still alive, and I'm guessing they left."
"Ain't gonna be able to track 'em real good in this dark. 'Sides. The fa kuang nu hai takes to hidin' real quiet like. She could still be in here," Jayne said, examining the walls.
He had to admit, though, leavin' sounded good, too. Get off this gorram boat and off this world. Ain't like these folks were family. But it ain't like they weren't, neither. Know 'em better than your own brother, and you don't know that he ain't dead, either.
Bi zui, Cobb. Quit thinking, just deal.
---
They were closing in on the engine room door when Ronon froze, gesturing violently for silence. After a moment, Jayne figured out why. Heard the footsteps, shuffling out in the cargo bay, and started backtracking, as quietly as they came.
They turned the corner and peered into the hold, guns at the ready. Mal was alone, though. The wraith was gone.
---
"You sure it was dead?" Ronon asked, his voice a low aggravated whisper.
"Wasn't breathin', now, was it?" Jayne spat, sneering back over his shoulder. "Thought you were the gorram expert!"
Ronon rolled his eyes and hefted his gun, nodding again towards the open door. Outside, the side of the dart was barely visible, but it was still there. They watched for movement, for any indication that the dart was about to take off, but nothing happened.
Jayne sighed, figuring Ronon knew as well as he did that stepping down into the cargo bay would be like walking onto a stage, all lit up like that. Anyone outside would see them too damn easy.
"Gotta get that door closed," Jayne nodded back into the hallway. "Auxiliary controls're on the bridge. Should still work." He stepped around Ronon and began to lead the way, but hadn't gone ten feet when there was another noise.
Quick and electric, and there was stumbling behind him.
Ronon was down.
---
Jayne dragged Ronon deeper into the relative safety of the corridor and gave him the once over. Stunned, it looked like. Confused and sluggish, but that was all he had time for.
Jayne crept again towards the doorway, saw the darting movement down by the crates, and took aim. There was a flash of white, and his finger twitched towards the trigger, but he hesitated.
Across the barrels of two guns, River was staring back at him.
---
Jayne would have called out, but she was looking less right in the head than usual. Thankfully, she lowered her stolen gun as awareness flashed across her face, quickly followed by a hundred other expressions Jayne was too slow to recognize.
"Jayne?" Her voice was small, all hope and wired terror.
"River." Jayne dropped his aim, but not his gun. "What. You okay?"
"I am not." She sidestepped and, without looking, punched the controls to raise the ramp and seal the door. Wasting no movement, she clambered up over crates and equipment until she reached the catwalk, clearly meaning to avoid Mal's body on the stairs. She stepped forward quickly, her eyes on Ronon, gesturing. "I… He."
Her voice was watery, they way it usually was moments before she began crying herself into a panic, and there was no Simon around- never would be again- to drag her back to herself.
Jayne glanced down at Ronon, who was starting to come to. "He's fine, I think," he said, trying to sound reasonable. Like Simon, maybe. "It's. C'mere," he reached out an arm, thought about trying to get her sittin' down, and was surprised when she collapsed against him, strange gun still clutched in her small hand. Looks right strange, lying there on all that white frippery.
"What happened?" he asked, because he couldn't think of anything else. It's not like platitudes and fancy words would help.
"There were two locusts and they devoured our world. The fields are empty and we're lost. Exterminated. Not fast, too slow. Doesn't matter. Now there's no meaning."
"Locusts? Those white haired wang ba dan?"
Her arm was pressed into Jayne's elbow. "Burning," she said, nodding towards Serenity's port side. "Burial's for family. No holes yet, no words either, and everything's holes now."
Ronon was pulling himself up into a sitting position, leaning against the wall now and eying River warily.
"It was an accident," Jayne said, apologetically. "She. Ah."
"She took the wraith out?" Ronon's hackles were up, like he was suspecting something. His fingers were dancing in the direction of his gun, and River was watching him.
"Seems it's so. Know she don't look it, but the girl can hold her own." Jayne waited, staring. Trying to guess if Ronon was a threat now. If River was.
"You're not mine to hold but you're not- you were there. I," River mumbled, squinting at Ronon. "Can't hold on to my own, or anyone else's."
Think she's trying to apologize, Jayne guessed, but Ronon didn't look to be believing much of anything at the moment.
After a moment, Ronon relented. "I know how that goes," he said, and rubbed a hand over his face.
Jayne should have felt relieved, but he was kneeling in the corridor, River curled against him, vibrating with tension. Had a near stranger sitting on the floor, there and miles away from the looks of it. It was all too damned unsettling.
Quiet can't last. Can't let it. Too much to be done. Figure out what happened. Bury our dead. Figure out how to move on. Get out of here, get some coin, get home.
Something had to come next, but they weren't there yet.
---
It was River who moved first, standing, eyes steel or dead, Jayne couldn’t tell. "We need to put them away."
And it sounded so final, Jayne didn't have it in him to get mad at her for the cryin' she started up with.
"Shh," hey tried to remember how Simon calmed her down, and it struck him that even if he did know what smoothers to give her, he wasn't about to take her to the infirmary right then. Didn't want to leave her with Ronon, either.
Wanted to lock her away somewhere, just long enough that he could deal with all of this.
Like this here's somethin' that can just be dealt with. Tian sha de e mo. Goddamn monsters.
"River," aiming for something in between Simon and Mal as he spoke, "I got 'em. You go an' lie down, if you want. You ain't gotta see. I'll get them ready, and we'll bury them proper in the morning, dong ma?"
Something like relief shone through, just for a moment, but then she carried herself to the corner of the catwalk and sat down, curled in on herself.
Ronon had been watching, and now he moved to stand.
Jayne wasn't sure that was a good idea, not after being hit like that. "You alright?'
"I'm fine. I'll help, if you want."
Jayne nodded, figuring it wasn't worth askin' if he was up for the task. Stupid question, anyway. Just ain't no way to answer it.
---
At some point, along the line, Mal or Simon or someone had put enough thought into the idea that they would all be dyin' to stock the infirmary with body bags. Enough for the crew, plus several more.
That many on hand, you have to wonder if they thought there'd be someone left alive to see to their remains. Or if they were just left here in case some passing ship saw fit to come and lay us all to rest. Not wanting to make our deaths an inconvenience, like.
Jayne near bit a hole through his lip, but he worked silently, and let Ronon help carry the bodies down to the cargo bay floor.
Kept looking up to see River sitting up on the catwalk in her white dress, staring down through tears. Kept meanin' not to, but each time they passed, he looked again. He couldn't not.
Told himself it was just because of the dress she was wearing. Too bright and big and frilly for her, spread out around her feet. Made her look like some sorta angel. He didn't say anything, in case he scared her away.
Up and down and back again, until there were four bags, lined up and identical, like there could have been just anyone lying in them.
Jayne tried to make the illusion work, but he'd never not know that Zoe was on the end, closest to the door, with Mal by her side. Kaylee to his right, and Simon to hers.
He stared at Zoe for a while, feeling sick. He didn't have any idea how he'd get her back to Wash, not anytime soon, but burying her here felt cheap. Book would have strong words about it, but he'd know what to do.
Jayne turned, glancing up again to see River staring at the black plastic that held her brother's body. Her lips were moving, but he couldn't hear what she was saying. She could have been praying, hell, she could have been talking to Simon.
Felt like shit for wanting to yell at her, tell him he weren't gonna be talkin' back.
Ronon was standing by the stairs, staring through the body bags like they were a hundred other people. Didn't look to be praying or nothing, though. Just looked dazed.
Jayne sighed. He knew damn well he was lacking in respect, even just thinking it, but he was bone tired. He needed sleep. Didn't need to be worrying about everyone else. He cracked his neck and stepped forward, looking back up towards the catwalk.
"River, you need to come down from there. Go an' get some sleep."
"I'm alone forever but I'm not right now and you're the problem," River replied without looking at him, and either she was taking pains to sound more sane, or Jayne was getting used to her, but he was pretty sure he got it.
Then again, leave me be weren't that hard to understand. There wasn't much he could do, anyway. She'd sleep when she slept. Wasn't his job to care for her.
Ronon, at least, seemed to track Jayne's movement, probably more out of habit than anything. "I should go," he said, his voice mechanical as he stood. "Get back to camp."
"We got extra rooms, all set up for guests and the like," Jayne was surprised find himself making the offer. "We got the place secured, and it's a long walk back to your camp." You took losses and been shot at least once today, and it sounds like your world's up an' gone, too, and you won't make it another ten steps, he didn't say. He shrugged. "We got enough alcohol to blind a man, too, if you're interested."
---
Jayne scrounged up some cups and the whiskey he'd swiped from one of the taverns on Santho last time they were in the world. Told himself it was because he didn't want to drink something that burned as much going down as Kaylee's home brew. Pouring two full glasses, he passed one to Ronon, without looking at him too hard. The man seemed like he was barely there in the first place. Jayne didn't need to know it for true.
He raised his own glass, thinkin' on drinkin' to everyone, but instead, just raised it up in Ronon's direction and said, "thanks." Found himself relieved that Ronon just nodded like he'd heard him. That he didn't have to explain anything.
It had been a long day, but it had only been one day. They weren't close enough to finish their drinks in the same room, not yet, and he couldn't see it happening, so he led Ronon towards the guest quarters. He was amazed at his own ability to remember to make sure it had blankets on the bed.
"Uh. You know where the kitchen and the infirmary is if you need anything. Make yourself at home. Ah. Such as it is." He would've said something about the morning, about tomorrow, but for some reason, his brain couldn't deal with the concept. Figured it was all starting to hit. Ronon was probably in shock, anyway, and wouldn't hear him if he did say anything more.
Jayne left him standing in the middle of the room, half a glass of whiskey in one hand and his gun in the other, staring at the wall.
5. House is Not a Home
Rating: PG for now
By: Jendavis
Spoilers: SGA: The Last Man, FF: Serenity
Pairing: Eventual Jayne Cobb/ Ronon Dex
Genre: Crossover
Warnings: Lots of off-screen character deaths.
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, don't take this too seriously.
Summary: Timelines diverge by converging.
Previous:
1. Man of Steel
2. Keys to the World
3. Lost
4. Gone Away
Jayne told himself that he couldn't raise Serenity on the radio because they were too busy fighting. Told himself that as long as he moved fast enough, he'd still have time.
Heard gunshots, in the distance ahead, quick and crackling and fast, and then nothing. He told himself they were fine, and just ran.
---
Slowing their approach, they drew close to the ships. The wraith dart was dark, bathed only in the light of Serenity's open cargo bay door.
Jayne readied Vera, and signaled Ronon to hold as he listened. He couldn't hear anything, and ducked along the side, checking for movement. Prepared to aim for the blind spots, and went in first, Ronon close and silent on his heels.
There was someone on the stairs headed up to the bridge. Long white hair, long black coat. Green skin, of all things, and ridden with bullets.
Jayne breathed a bit easier for a moment, before noticing the body behind it, hidden.
Skeletal and dried out to nothing, too small to be Mal. But it was.
"We need to secure the ship. Then we come back," Ronon ordered, but it didn't sound like his heart was in it, either.
---
He found Zoe on the bridge, sprawled in the pilot's seat, one dried-to-nothing hand grasping wisps of long white hair.
Jayne wasn't ready for his own reaction. If she didn't make it, and Mal didn't make it…He wanted to yell, call for Kaylee. Simon. Hell, even the Moonbrain. Probably would've, too, but a sharp look from Ronon warned him off.
---
They continued the search, room by room.
The crew and guest quarters were clear, but when Ronon reached the infirmary, he halted, turning to Jayne and raising a hand to stop Jayne from looking in.
"I gotta," Jayne shoved him out of the way and looked inside to see Kaylee on the infirmary bed, too ancient in her torn coveralls.
Simon's body was on the floor, one fragile dried hand clasped on the railing, as if he'd pull himself up. For some reason, Simon's body, dressed in all that civilized finery, was the most disturbing.
Jayne backed towards the doorway. "How many wraith?" He made himself ask, needing to keep his head in the game. Here, now. Needing to not think.
"One or ten," Ronon said. "Does it matter?"
---
Jayne had to admit, and he didn't want to, he really didn't want to- that at this point, he didn't give a damn if he found the wraith. But it would have been nice to find River, at least. Even if it was only her body.
"If the dart's damaged, they'd stun her and drag her back to the gate," Ronon said, craning his neck to look behind the engine. "If she's not here, she's probably still alive, and I'm guessing they left."
"Ain't gonna be able to track 'em real good in this dark. 'Sides. The fa kuang nu hai takes to hidin' real quiet like. She could still be in here," Jayne said, examining the walls.
He had to admit, though, leavin' sounded good, too. Get off this gorram boat and off this world. Ain't like these folks were family. But it ain't like they weren't, neither. Know 'em better than your own brother, and you don't know that he ain't dead, either.
Bi zui, Cobb. Quit thinking, just deal.
---
They were closing in on the engine room door when Ronon froze, gesturing violently for silence. After a moment, Jayne figured out why. Heard the footsteps, shuffling out in the cargo bay, and started backtracking, as quietly as they came.
They turned the corner and peered into the hold, guns at the ready. Mal was alone, though. The wraith was gone.
---
"You sure it was dead?" Ronon asked, his voice a low aggravated whisper.
"Wasn't breathin', now, was it?" Jayne spat, sneering back over his shoulder. "Thought you were the gorram expert!"
Ronon rolled his eyes and hefted his gun, nodding again towards the open door. Outside, the side of the dart was barely visible, but it was still there. They watched for movement, for any indication that the dart was about to take off, but nothing happened.
Jayne sighed, figuring Ronon knew as well as he did that stepping down into the cargo bay would be like walking onto a stage, all lit up like that. Anyone outside would see them too damn easy.
"Gotta get that door closed," Jayne nodded back into the hallway. "Auxiliary controls're on the bridge. Should still work." He stepped around Ronon and began to lead the way, but hadn't gone ten feet when there was another noise.
Quick and electric, and there was stumbling behind him.
Ronon was down.
---
Jayne dragged Ronon deeper into the relative safety of the corridor and gave him the once over. Stunned, it looked like. Confused and sluggish, but that was all he had time for.
Jayne crept again towards the doorway, saw the darting movement down by the crates, and took aim. There was a flash of white, and his finger twitched towards the trigger, but he hesitated.
Across the barrels of two guns, River was staring back at him.
---
Jayne would have called out, but she was looking less right in the head than usual. Thankfully, she lowered her stolen gun as awareness flashed across her face, quickly followed by a hundred other expressions Jayne was too slow to recognize.
"Jayne?" Her voice was small, all hope and wired terror.
"River." Jayne dropped his aim, but not his gun. "What. You okay?"
"I am not." She sidestepped and, without looking, punched the controls to raise the ramp and seal the door. Wasting no movement, she clambered up over crates and equipment until she reached the catwalk, clearly meaning to avoid Mal's body on the stairs. She stepped forward quickly, her eyes on Ronon, gesturing. "I… He."
Her voice was watery, they way it usually was moments before she began crying herself into a panic, and there was no Simon around- never would be again- to drag her back to herself.
Jayne glanced down at Ronon, who was starting to come to. "He's fine, I think," he said, trying to sound reasonable. Like Simon, maybe. "It's. C'mere," he reached out an arm, thought about trying to get her sittin' down, and was surprised when she collapsed against him, strange gun still clutched in her small hand. Looks right strange, lying there on all that white frippery.
"What happened?" he asked, because he couldn't think of anything else. It's not like platitudes and fancy words would help.
"There were two locusts and they devoured our world. The fields are empty and we're lost. Exterminated. Not fast, too slow. Doesn't matter. Now there's no meaning."
"Locusts? Those white haired wang ba dan?"
Her arm was pressed into Jayne's elbow. "Burning," she said, nodding towards Serenity's port side. "Burial's for family. No holes yet, no words either, and everything's holes now."
Ronon was pulling himself up into a sitting position, leaning against the wall now and eying River warily.
"It was an accident," Jayne said, apologetically. "She. Ah."
"She took the wraith out?" Ronon's hackles were up, like he was suspecting something. His fingers were dancing in the direction of his gun, and River was watching him.
"Seems it's so. Know she don't look it, but the girl can hold her own." Jayne waited, staring. Trying to guess if Ronon was a threat now. If River was.
"You're not mine to hold but you're not- you were there. I," River mumbled, squinting at Ronon. "Can't hold on to my own, or anyone else's."
Think she's trying to apologize, Jayne guessed, but Ronon didn't look to be believing much of anything at the moment.
After a moment, Ronon relented. "I know how that goes," he said, and rubbed a hand over his face.
Jayne should have felt relieved, but he was kneeling in the corridor, River curled against him, vibrating with tension. Had a near stranger sitting on the floor, there and miles away from the looks of it. It was all too damned unsettling.
Quiet can't last. Can't let it. Too much to be done. Figure out what happened. Bury our dead. Figure out how to move on. Get out of here, get some coin, get home.
Something had to come next, but they weren't there yet.
---
It was River who moved first, standing, eyes steel or dead, Jayne couldn’t tell. "We need to put them away."
And it sounded so final, Jayne didn't have it in him to get mad at her for the cryin' she started up with.
"Shh," hey tried to remember how Simon calmed her down, and it struck him that even if he did know what smoothers to give her, he wasn't about to take her to the infirmary right then. Didn't want to leave her with Ronon, either.
Wanted to lock her away somewhere, just long enough that he could deal with all of this.
Like this here's somethin' that can just be dealt with. Tian sha de e mo. Goddamn monsters.
"River," aiming for something in between Simon and Mal as he spoke, "I got 'em. You go an' lie down, if you want. You ain't gotta see. I'll get them ready, and we'll bury them proper in the morning, dong ma?"
Something like relief shone through, just for a moment, but then she carried herself to the corner of the catwalk and sat down, curled in on herself.
Ronon had been watching, and now he moved to stand.
Jayne wasn't sure that was a good idea, not after being hit like that. "You alright?'
"I'm fine. I'll help, if you want."
Jayne nodded, figuring it wasn't worth askin' if he was up for the task. Stupid question, anyway. Just ain't no way to answer it.
---
At some point, along the line, Mal or Simon or someone had put enough thought into the idea that they would all be dyin' to stock the infirmary with body bags. Enough for the crew, plus several more.
That many on hand, you have to wonder if they thought there'd be someone left alive to see to their remains. Or if they were just left here in case some passing ship saw fit to come and lay us all to rest. Not wanting to make our deaths an inconvenience, like.
Jayne near bit a hole through his lip, but he worked silently, and let Ronon help carry the bodies down to the cargo bay floor.
Kept looking up to see River sitting up on the catwalk in her white dress, staring down through tears. Kept meanin' not to, but each time they passed, he looked again. He couldn't not.
Told himself it was just because of the dress she was wearing. Too bright and big and frilly for her, spread out around her feet. Made her look like some sorta angel. He didn't say anything, in case he scared her away.
Up and down and back again, until there were four bags, lined up and identical, like there could have been just anyone lying in them.
Jayne tried to make the illusion work, but he'd never not know that Zoe was on the end, closest to the door, with Mal by her side. Kaylee to his right, and Simon to hers.
He stared at Zoe for a while, feeling sick. He didn't have any idea how he'd get her back to Wash, not anytime soon, but burying her here felt cheap. Book would have strong words about it, but he'd know what to do.
Jayne turned, glancing up again to see River staring at the black plastic that held her brother's body. Her lips were moving, but he couldn't hear what she was saying. She could have been praying, hell, she could have been talking to Simon.
Felt like shit for wanting to yell at her, tell him he weren't gonna be talkin' back.
Ronon was standing by the stairs, staring through the body bags like they were a hundred other people. Didn't look to be praying or nothing, though. Just looked dazed.
Jayne sighed. He knew damn well he was lacking in respect, even just thinking it, but he was bone tired. He needed sleep. Didn't need to be worrying about everyone else. He cracked his neck and stepped forward, looking back up towards the catwalk.
"River, you need to come down from there. Go an' get some sleep."
"I'm alone forever but I'm not right now and you're the problem," River replied without looking at him, and either she was taking pains to sound more sane, or Jayne was getting used to her, but he was pretty sure he got it.
Then again, leave me be weren't that hard to understand. There wasn't much he could do, anyway. She'd sleep when she slept. Wasn't his job to care for her.
Ronon, at least, seemed to track Jayne's movement, probably more out of habit than anything. "I should go," he said, his voice mechanical as he stood. "Get back to camp."
"We got extra rooms, all set up for guests and the like," Jayne was surprised find himself making the offer. "We got the place secured, and it's a long walk back to your camp." You took losses and been shot at least once today, and it sounds like your world's up an' gone, too, and you won't make it another ten steps, he didn't say. He shrugged. "We got enough alcohol to blind a man, too, if you're interested."
---
Jayne scrounged up some cups and the whiskey he'd swiped from one of the taverns on Santho last time they were in the world. Told himself it was because he didn't want to drink something that burned as much going down as Kaylee's home brew. Pouring two full glasses, he passed one to Ronon, without looking at him too hard. The man seemed like he was barely there in the first place. Jayne didn't need to know it for true.
He raised his own glass, thinkin' on drinkin' to everyone, but instead, just raised it up in Ronon's direction and said, "thanks." Found himself relieved that Ronon just nodded like he'd heard him. That he didn't have to explain anything.
It had been a long day, but it had only been one day. They weren't close enough to finish their drinks in the same room, not yet, and he couldn't see it happening, so he led Ronon towards the guest quarters. He was amazed at his own ability to remember to make sure it had blankets on the bed.
"Uh. You know where the kitchen and the infirmary is if you need anything. Make yourself at home. Ah. Such as it is." He would've said something about the morning, about tomorrow, but for some reason, his brain couldn't deal with the concept. Figured it was all starting to hit. Ronon was probably in shock, anyway, and wouldn't hear him if he did say anything more.
Jayne left him standing in the middle of the room, half a glass of whiskey in one hand and his gun in the other, staring at the wall.
5. House is Not a Home