The J-thing's Observation of the Day: Love Is

[jemauvais]

When you think you love someone, you love him because of all that he does to make you happy.

But when you really love someone, you ask not what he can do to make you happy; instead, you know you love him because you're thinking of all the things you can do to make him happy.

Immature love says: "I love you because I need you

Comments

[mappleleaf]

I like to say that love is best expressed in the amount of time one person is willing to dedicate to another (whatever that time is used for: thinking how to make them happy, or doing things for them or with them etc). So like you say, really loving is about thinking of all the things you can do to make him happy (be willing to dedicate your time to him rather than think of the time dedicated to you).

But then again, there has to be a balance somewhere. Else, there is an adjective "unrequited" added in front of "love".

[jemauvais]

Haha there is a background/context to this observation.  Basically, this girl whose idea of love is best expressed in the amount of time one person is willing to dedicate to her.

Yes there has to be a balance, but unless you actually begin to consider as well what you're willing to dedicate to him, it's not really love, is it?

[mappleleaf]

>>but unless you actually begin to consider as well what you're willing to dedicate to him, it's not really love, is it?

EXACTLY! It's called civil service. Your boss expects you to think of 1001 ways to make him happy and doesn't reciprocate that at all.

[frimframsauce]

If i'm thinking chorreatly what your'e thinking, no no no...

Ajahn Brahm's puts it the best. In my words,

Don't think only about yourself
but don't think only about the other person.
The first will make you selfish and hard to live with
the second will make you disempowered, eventually unfufilled, dissatisfied, unhappy.
Instead think of the space between the two of you. There's where the relationship lies. Do what will empower the Both of you, seeking common ground, understanding.

So, in my word, dedicate it to the space between the two person.

(super quick reply so sorry if any typos_

[jemauvais]

Haha, well like I told mappleleaf, this entry has a background and a context.  I'm not saying that you should focus only on one or the other, but as long as you only care about what makes you happy and not a whit on what would make the other happy, that's not really love at all.

[blogwithbaby]

congratulations on finding this man of your dreams! ;)