Hypothetically speaking

[jemauvais]

Assuming you can't have both and must choose either of the two, which would you rather have:

1) To be with someone who thinks you're the most amazing person in the world, or
2) To be with someone whom you think is the most amazing person in the world?

And why?

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Comments

[musomuse]

I would choose (2). Because respect has to be earned, and it keeps me on my toes to want to be better, because I know I am amazing and hopefully that someone will know that too. And I like being with people I really look up to!

[jemauvais]

True true.  But wouldn't you find it tiring in the long run, to always constantly have to better yourself or remake yourself in order to keep him engaged?

[musomuse]

not if you have a sense of self respect and know that assurance comes not only from him but other ppl too..

[msbrightside]

(2)

No reason why. It's just worked well for me :)

[jemauvais]

Heh, and I'm glad it did!

But then again, it doesn't really answer the question because I'm sure James thinks likewise about you!

[d_guru]

(2).

If that person whom I think is amazing is with me, it should also speak volume about my amazing-ness!

Also, it's no point being with someone who thinks the world of you BUT you think nothing of him. First, you won't be happy because you'd keep asking if there's someone else out there. Second, you'd lose respect for your partner because you can't help but think why is he with you when you obviously love him less than he loves you.

Just speaking from personal experience...

[jemauvais]

Thanks Debs, you made a point which no one else has observed and this is the most insightful answer I have received to this question!

[ext_143020]

i will choose the former... after so many painful experiences, so long as u are ok with the special someone, it is always to be loved and treasured (ie: yr special somoene thinks that u are the most amazing in the world) than to love....

[jemauvais]

That's the thing: there is a condition that you are OK with that someone who thinks you're the most amazing person in the world.  But can you be sure you will be OK with that?  If someone thinks you're the most amazing person in the world, can you be with him even if you think he's quite ordinary?  Can you be sure that you will always stay with him?

[mrtan]

First of all, I think we have to agree that there's no such thing as "the most amazing person in the world", right? So if my partner honestly thinks that I'm the most amazing person in the world, besides the probability that I wouldn't quite respect her, I'd also constantly be on the lookout for when she gets disillusioned with me. (Not that it'd really bother me, since she isn't such a great catch anyway, right?)

And so I would probably choose the second. The reason is that while I know I'm not THE most amazing person in the world, I'm still pretty amazing, and also I need to be with someone that impresses me. And because I already have such a healthy self esteem (ahem), my partner needs to be someone that is even more wow.

But of course, assuming we suspend disbelief, I think the best-case scenario is actually to be with someone who's the second-most amazing person in the world, and who thinks that I'M the most amazing person in the world. Heh. :)

[jemauvais]

Well, yes there really is no such thing as 'the most amazing person in the world', since there's no objective standard with which to assess amazing-ness.  But since this is all hypothetically speaking, maybe I should have quantified my scenario by stating 'most amazing person in the world to you / him or her', heh.

Your response is rather interesting because most people I asked this to thought that it was more probable that she would get disillusioned with you if you thought she was the most amazing person in the world whereas she thought very ordinarily of you to begin with.

But what I don't understand is why would you not respect your partner just because she thinks you're the most amazing person in the world (to her)?