Comments | jehoshabeath: The Me Behind Glass

jehoshabeath

The Me Behind Glass

Jun 04, 2013 20:58

I stumbled upon some posts from 2002 that give a glimpse into the struggle I was having with Aspergers as a freshman in college. Excerpts are included here. Praise the Lord that He did not leave me alone in that place. He has gently taken me by the hand and is guiding me one step at a time. I still feel many of these pains and fears, but they ( Read more... )

interests, injury, depression, psalms, me, aspergers, social, fear, glass wall

Comments 6

walls and whatever anonymous June 11 2013, 23:45:09 UTC

I had to look twice to see that you wrote these posts - I thought maybe they were my own musings. I can totally relate to trying to fit in with conversations ("I agree with whatever and lose interest") and isolation ("what would {life} be like without . . . walls?? . . . {but} (p)eople have the potential to be so kind and so painful . . . " Keep giving a voice to that which is so often unable to be spoken.

Re: walls and whatever jehoshabeath June 13 2013, 01:22:10 UTC

Hi! I'm glad you found that you could relate to these things. I'll have to keep poking around old posts to see what I can find... If you ever want to think more about these things, you know where to email/call :)

Re: walls and whatever ext_2016505 June 13 2013, 14:03:01 UTC

Your writing was already very insightful back then, Megan. I don't think I had processed my thoughts to that point when I was a freshman in college. I didn't really know how to connect with other people, but I didn't yet see that as important, because the main message I heard was "focus on your studies." I figured that if I didn't spend much time with other people, that must mean I was doing something right!

Your second post about being behind glass really matches how I felt a few years later, though. I sometimes felt as if I was wandering through life in a daze. My thoughts could be so sharp and clear to me, but when I tried to explain them to my parents, the words just disappeared and I was left silent and blank-faced.

But yet, Jesus was there with me through every step, giving me grace in a thousand small ways, reminding me of His promise that it would be all right.

-- Nathan K.

Re: walls and whatever jehoshabeath June 19 2013, 16:37:23 UTC

Praise the Lord that He never leaves us nor forsakes us ( ... )

Re: walls and whatever ext_2016505 June 22 2013, 21:10:26 UTC

I will have to think about that question, Megan. I'm not sure how I broke through the "glass," or if I really did completely. There are still times I feel that way with people outside my family ( ... )

Re: walls and whatever jehoshabeath July 1 2013, 15:00:44 UTC

When I was in college, I remember raising the question in class of whether it was right for a Christian to have a hobby. I don't think it made much sense to my classmates at the time, but my hobbies tend to be so focused and obsessive that it was a real puzzle to me!I asked one of our church counselors the same question last fall. She tried to understand my concern, but it was hard to explain. With your special interests, do they seem to have a logical cause or appear at random? Many of mine have started out of the blue for no particular reason. People often tell me that the ability to focus on a research project is a gift, but that's hard for me to fully accept because I can't choose the topic and often have no practical application for it. Maybe I need to be less worried about productivity and just enjoy the journey as the whales enjoy swimming about the sea ( ... )