Let's Play Choice of Broadsides, Chapter Three
Previous chapter is here.
The game is HERE. A great review of it is over at Jayisgames, and my "review" is here. If you think this game sounds fun, play it before reading, because there will be massive spoilers after the cut.
In the previous chapter, we (Acting-Lieutenant Anne Smythe, actually) got to be a hero. And now, we get to be a full lieutenant.
First order of business, what to focus our skill training on? A) Sailing, B) Gunning, C) Fighting, D) Leading, E) Currying (favour), or F) Training (my crew)? Since our leadership went down last time, and it's one of our weaknesses, we're going to try improving that.
Anyway, we're off to Queensport on the H.M.S. Courageous, the ship we were on in the beginning of our adventure. And we've got the watch. Nothing happens during our watch, and Madam Pigot comes to relieve us. We can go to bed now. Nighty-night.
Oh, dear, we're in the middle of a dream about our lieutenant's examination. Why can't we dream about nicer things, like cake, or seagulls, or pretty girls?
"Good day, Madam Smythe. My first question to you is as follows. You are in temporary command of a 36-gun ship, returning to Albion with maximum haste. The wind is with you, and you are at full sail. The barometer reports a sudden drop in pressure. What do you do next?"
I assume the first of the three presiding captains asked that. Options include: A) Panic because we don't know! B) Stall, C) Try to bullshit our way through, or D) Come clean about how we're a gigantic failure. I pick (A), because I honestly don't know.
The captains laugh cruelly. "Failing the exam already, Smythe? Any officer would know that a sudden drop in pressure indicates the arrival of a major storm! By the time you'd reef the sails, you'd probably lose a mast!"
"Here is your next question," the second captain says.
"You are in temporary command of a 36-gun ship, returning to Albion with maximum haste. The wind is with you, and you are at full sail. The barometer reports a sudden drop in pressure. What do you do next?"
Huh, déjà-vu. Options are as follows: A) Notice that they just asked this, B) to D), or E) Notice that the previous three answers are all wrong. Let's be smart and choose (E).
The captains laugh at us and tell us the right answer to the next question, because in our dreams they are idiots who don't know how to give an examination. The next question is the same as the previous two, of course. All of the next answers are correct: "A storm is coming. Furl the sail to avoid disaster" (because "A drop in barometric pressure means and oncoming squall"). So we pick one randomly.
"Madam Smythe, you have officially failed this lieutenant examination. This is the worst performance I have ever seen in an acting-lieutenant. Furthermore, it is the unanimous agreement of the examination board that you shall be disrated and pressed into service as an ordinary sailor. Good day, 'Madam' Smythe!"
Jerks.
You awake with a start.
That was unrestful. Next time let's dream about pretty girls.
It's midnight and Pigot's still on watch. As we're about to fall back asleep, our ears pop, indicating a change in pressure. What do we do: A) Go back to sleep, B) Send word above deck, or C) Go above deck personally? Let's choose B).
So we get a sailor to go up and see how things are doing, and she tells us that Pigot says things are fine. But we don't buy that, so we go up and--what do you know? Everything's gone to hell in a hand-basket. (Also, Jonesy and two others are up in the riggings. Just a useful detail.)
Now we can either order Pigot to furl the deck or go the more subtle route, ask about the weather. Or we can go back to bed, but we might die at this rate, so we're not going to do that. I pick (B) and see what she thinks.
Pigot says that she sent some people to pull in some sail. That's no good, we have to pull in the sail completely. Do we: A) Tell her directly, or B) Passive-aggressively ask what we should do about the sail. Option (C) remains, as always, to go back to bed, but things are too screwed up to do that. (A) is both useless and tactless, so (B) it is!
As it turns out, (B) is also useless.
"What are you driving at, Smythe?"
Just at that moment, Captain Kent appears from her cabin. "Captain on deck!" yells Pigot.
Just then, Jones falls from the riggings of the mizzen mast. Another sailor reaches out to catch her; the wind shrieks and the ship groans and leans precipitously. You hear a pop as someone's arm dislocates. Before anyone can say a word, both sailors have fallen to the deck, one of them killed instantly on impact.
The Captain takes over from here.
Well, shit. This ain't gonna end well. What's that? You think it's over? Nope, it's just going to get worse from here. Onto the next chapter (which is continued here, because this was a very short chapter).
After breakfast, all the officers of the ship gather together in the Captain's cabin.
"My question for you, Madam Pigot," the Captain says, "is: why were there still women on the riggings when the storm arrived?"
"I could see from on deck that Mistress's Mate Jones hadn't reefed the sail correctly," replies Pigot, "so I ordered the women to return aloft to secure it properly."
The Captain counters, "Jones says that you gave the order to reef the sail too late, and that she and Wilson were already under heavy weather."
"With all due respect, ma'am, Jones is an insubordinate and unskilled mistress's mate. I'm not surprised she has invented an excuse. I gave the order when it was needed."
Now, which side do we take? A) Jones's, B) Pigot's, or C) Neither, because we're not getting involved? Let's go with (B), since we know Jones is probably in the right.
We press Pigot, and the truth comes out that Pigot made a huge mistake. Jones is flogged and Pigot is now out to get us.
How is she doing that? Well, you know how her watch is after ours, so when she relieves us we go to bed? She decides it would be great fun to keep waking us up and asking us about what happened on our watch, even though she could just read the log. We eventually become very sleep deprived, and almost fall asleep during our watch. If we get caught doing that, we could be executed for this, so we decide enough's enough.
What to do about it, though? A) Try to apologize, B) Ask Bryce for advice, C) Complain to the Captain, or D) Tough it out? Let's see what Bryce has to say.
"I know this is a sticky situation for you," says Bryce. "I wish there were more I could do. You're not the only officer Pigot has treated unfairly."
"Can't we go to the Captain?" you ask.
"I wouldn't, if I were you. Everything Pigot has done has been entirely within her authority; she'll just tell the Captain that your reports have been incomplete. As our superior officer, her testimony will always have the benefit of the doubt."
"With all due respect, ma'am, she'd be lying to the Captain."
"Madam Smythe, I know you're a good officer. But it's not about what's true and what's false; it's about the chain of command, upon which all our lives depend."
Bryce pauses as you consider her remark. H.M.S. Courageous is in constant peril: from the Gauls, from the sea, and from his own crew. Discipline is his first and last defense.
"Ma'am, if the Captain won't break the chain of command, then what do you suggest?"
"Damned if I know. I suppose you could try apologizing to Pigot, but if I know her half as well as I think I do, she'll just spit in your face. No, I think your best bet for now is to simply keep a stiff upper lip."
So... tough it out, then? Okay, if you say so. (I think this makes our tact go up.)
Later, we come across a group of sailors whispering. Do we think it's a mutiny, or just harmless gossip? And what do we do about it? A) Loudly ask them what they're doing, B) Discreetly ask one of them what they're doing, C) Tell someone, or D) Jack shit, because apparently we don't care?
We're going to go with mutiny, and discreetly ask one of them what they think they're pulling. So we ask Allen, and swear to secrecy, but we're not getting anything out of her, so we let the matter drop because "It might not really be mutiny" (yeah, right).
A few days later, another major storm hits. At almost four bells, you find yourself wide awake, entirely against your will. Unable to return to sleep, you pull on your uniform and go above deck for some fresh air.
On deck, you encounter a most unusual sight. The sky is pouring icy rain. Madam Pigot is wrestling with two sailors on the edge of the deck. They are trying to push her overboard; they are trying to murder her.
Another sailor is on deck, watching the fight, but not involved. You're pretty sure she hasn't noticed you yet.
I knew it! So what now, do we: A) Save Pigot like the hero we are, or B) Go back to bed like the cold bastard we're not? Does this question even need to be asked? Let's save that jerk.
You yell to get the sailors' attention; they hesitate in their wrestling match. One of them slips overboard as Pigot regains her footing. Realizing that the plan has failed, the other sailor relents as Pigot backs away from the edge and orders the remaining mutineers locked up.
Under the testimony of both lieutenants, the remaining mutineers are convicted by a speedy court-martial consisting of the Captain and the lieutenants. They hang from the yard arm at dawn the following day.
You get a full night's sleep that night.
Not too shabby! Wasn't this a good experience? I think so. Just look at our stats!
Name: Madam Anne Smythe
Rank: Lieutenant
Seniority: 5 years
Age: 24
Sailing: 85
Gunnery: 76
Leadership: 59 (+)
Fighting: 70
Patronage: 46
Tact: 40 (++)
Likeability: 55
Honor: 68 (++)
Courage: 64 (+)
Bloodthirst: 45
Intelligence: 52
Wealth: 37
On the downside, Jones probably hates me for interfering with her little mutiny. Oh, well.
Chapter's over. TO BE CONTINUED
The game is HERE. A great review of it is over at Jayisgames, and my "review" is here. If you think this game sounds fun, play it before reading, because there will be massive spoilers after the cut.
In the previous chapter, we (Acting-Lieutenant Anne Smythe, actually) got to be a hero. And now, we get to be a full lieutenant.
First order of business, what to focus our skill training on? A) Sailing, B) Gunning, C) Fighting, D) Leading, E) Currying (favour), or F) Training (my crew)? Since our leadership went down last time, and it's one of our weaknesses, we're going to try improving that.
Anyway, we're off to Queensport on the H.M.S. Courageous, the ship we were on in the beginning of our adventure. And we've got the watch. Nothing happens during our watch, and Madam Pigot comes to relieve us. We can go to bed now. Nighty-night.
Oh, dear, we're in the middle of a dream about our lieutenant's examination. Why can't we dream about nicer things, like cake, or seagulls, or pretty girls?
"Good day, Madam Smythe. My first question to you is as follows. You are in temporary command of a 36-gun ship, returning to Albion with maximum haste. The wind is with you, and you are at full sail. The barometer reports a sudden drop in pressure. What do you do next?"
I assume the first of the three presiding captains asked that. Options include: A) Panic because we don't know! B) Stall, C) Try to bullshit our way through, or D) Come clean about how we're a gigantic failure. I pick (A), because I honestly don't know.
The captains laugh cruelly. "Failing the exam already, Smythe? Any officer would know that a sudden drop in pressure indicates the arrival of a major storm! By the time you'd reef the sails, you'd probably lose a mast!"
"Here is your next question," the second captain says.
"You are in temporary command of a 36-gun ship, returning to Albion with maximum haste. The wind is with you, and you are at full sail. The barometer reports a sudden drop in pressure. What do you do next?"
Huh, déjà-vu. Options are as follows: A) Notice that they just asked this, B) to D), or E) Notice that the previous three answers are all wrong. Let's be smart and choose (E).
The captains laugh at us and tell us the right answer to the next question, because in our dreams they are idiots who don't know how to give an examination. The next question is the same as the previous two, of course. All of the next answers are correct: "A storm is coming. Furl the sail to avoid disaster" (because "A drop in barometric pressure means and oncoming squall"). So we pick one randomly.
"Madam Smythe, you have officially failed this lieutenant examination. This is the worst performance I have ever seen in an acting-lieutenant. Furthermore, it is the unanimous agreement of the examination board that you shall be disrated and pressed into service as an ordinary sailor. Good day, 'Madam' Smythe!"
Jerks.
You awake with a start.
That was unrestful. Next time let's dream about pretty girls.
It's midnight and Pigot's still on watch. As we're about to fall back asleep, our ears pop, indicating a change in pressure. What do we do: A) Go back to sleep, B) Send word above deck, or C) Go above deck personally? Let's choose B).
So we get a sailor to go up and see how things are doing, and she tells us that Pigot says things are fine. But we don't buy that, so we go up and--what do you know? Everything's gone to hell in a hand-basket. (Also, Jonesy and two others are up in the riggings. Just a useful detail.)
Now we can either order Pigot to furl the deck or go the more subtle route, ask about the weather. Or we can go back to bed, but we might die at this rate, so we're not going to do that. I pick (B) and see what she thinks.
Pigot says that she sent some people to pull in some sail. That's no good, we have to pull in the sail completely. Do we: A) Tell her directly, or B) Passive-aggressively ask what we should do about the sail. Option (C) remains, as always, to go back to bed, but things are too screwed up to do that. (A) is both useless and tactless, so (B) it is!
As it turns out, (B) is also useless.
"What are you driving at, Smythe?"
Just at that moment, Captain Kent appears from her cabin. "Captain on deck!" yells Pigot.
Just then, Jones falls from the riggings of the mizzen mast. Another sailor reaches out to catch her; the wind shrieks and the ship groans and leans precipitously. You hear a pop as someone's arm dislocates. Before anyone can say a word, both sailors have fallen to the deck, one of them killed instantly on impact.
The Captain takes over from here.
Well, shit. This ain't gonna end well. What's that? You think it's over? Nope, it's just going to get worse from here. Onto the next chapter (which is continued here, because this was a very short chapter).
After breakfast, all the officers of the ship gather together in the Captain's cabin.
"My question for you, Madam Pigot," the Captain says, "is: why were there still women on the riggings when the storm arrived?"
"I could see from on deck that Mistress's Mate Jones hadn't reefed the sail correctly," replies Pigot, "so I ordered the women to return aloft to secure it properly."
The Captain counters, "Jones says that you gave the order to reef the sail too late, and that she and Wilson were already under heavy weather."
"With all due respect, ma'am, Jones is an insubordinate and unskilled mistress's mate. I'm not surprised she has invented an excuse. I gave the order when it was needed."
Now, which side do we take? A) Jones's, B) Pigot's, or C) Neither, because we're not getting involved? Let's go with (B), since we know Jones is probably in the right.
We press Pigot, and the truth comes out that Pigot made a huge mistake. Jones is flogged and Pigot is now out to get us.
How is she doing that? Well, you know how her watch is after ours, so when she relieves us we go to bed? She decides it would be great fun to keep waking us up and asking us about what happened on our watch, even though she could just read the log. We eventually become very sleep deprived, and almost fall asleep during our watch. If we get caught doing that, we could be executed for this, so we decide enough's enough.
What to do about it, though? A) Try to apologize, B) Ask Bryce for advice, C) Complain to the Captain, or D) Tough it out? Let's see what Bryce has to say.
"I know this is a sticky situation for you," says Bryce. "I wish there were more I could do. You're not the only officer Pigot has treated unfairly."
"Can't we go to the Captain?" you ask.
"I wouldn't, if I were you. Everything Pigot has done has been entirely within her authority; she'll just tell the Captain that your reports have been incomplete. As our superior officer, her testimony will always have the benefit of the doubt."
"With all due respect, ma'am, she'd be lying to the Captain."
"Madam Smythe, I know you're a good officer. But it's not about what's true and what's false; it's about the chain of command, upon which all our lives depend."
Bryce pauses as you consider her remark. H.M.S. Courageous is in constant peril: from the Gauls, from the sea, and from his own crew. Discipline is his first and last defense.
"Ma'am, if the Captain won't break the chain of command, then what do you suggest?"
"Damned if I know. I suppose you could try apologizing to Pigot, but if I know her half as well as I think I do, she'll just spit in your face. No, I think your best bet for now is to simply keep a stiff upper lip."
So... tough it out, then? Okay, if you say so. (I think this makes our tact go up.)
Later, we come across a group of sailors whispering. Do we think it's a mutiny, or just harmless gossip? And what do we do about it? A) Loudly ask them what they're doing, B) Discreetly ask one of them what they're doing, C) Tell someone, or D) Jack shit, because apparently we don't care?
We're going to go with mutiny, and discreetly ask one of them what they think they're pulling. So we ask Allen, and swear to secrecy, but we're not getting anything out of her, so we let the matter drop because "It might not really be mutiny" (yeah, right).
A few days later, another major storm hits. At almost four bells, you find yourself wide awake, entirely against your will. Unable to return to sleep, you pull on your uniform and go above deck for some fresh air.
On deck, you encounter a most unusual sight. The sky is pouring icy rain. Madam Pigot is wrestling with two sailors on the edge of the deck. They are trying to push her overboard; they are trying to murder her.
Another sailor is on deck, watching the fight, but not involved. You're pretty sure she hasn't noticed you yet.
I knew it! So what now, do we: A) Save Pigot like the hero we are, or B) Go back to bed like the cold bastard we're not? Does this question even need to be asked? Let's save that jerk.
You yell to get the sailors' attention; they hesitate in their wrestling match. One of them slips overboard as Pigot regains her footing. Realizing that the plan has failed, the other sailor relents as Pigot backs away from the edge and orders the remaining mutineers locked up.
Under the testimony of both lieutenants, the remaining mutineers are convicted by a speedy court-martial consisting of the Captain and the lieutenants. They hang from the yard arm at dawn the following day.
You get a full night's sleep that night.
Not too shabby! Wasn't this a good experience? I think so. Just look at our stats!
Name: Madam Anne Smythe
Rank: Lieutenant
Seniority: 5 years
Age: 24
Sailing: 85
Gunnery: 76
Leadership: 59 (+)
Fighting: 70
Patronage: 46
Tact: 40 (++)
Likeability: 55
Honor: 68 (++)
Courage: 64 (+)
Bloodthirst: 45
Intelligence: 52
Wealth: 37
On the downside, Jones probably hates me for interfering with her little mutiny. Oh, well.
Chapter's over. TO BE CONTINUED